Chapter 68 reveals, "I also miss my cousin, but it's not possible right now..."
The many letters sent by Marquis Changxin, Lao Ai, went unanswered, and he never received a reply from the Empress Dowager. His heart sank to the bottom.
When he was sent on a mission, he had to send people back to Yong to protect the two children. He had to be wary of the Queen Mother, who was focused on killing his two younger sons for the sake of her eldest son, Ying Zheng.
This panic made him increasingly impatient and distorted, wantonly accumulating wealth and power. For a time, many people from Lao State came to visit him. He used his status as the Marquis of Changxin to continuously place people in various social strata.
Unfortunately, the King of Qin was completely unaware of this and favored and loved him so much that the affairs of the state, big and small, were all decided by Lao.
Winter quietly arrived. In January, the King of Qin celebrated his twenty-first birthday in a grand ceremony. After January, he would be twenty-two years old. In the court, the Queen Dowager and Chancellor Lü Buwei reached a consensus that the King of Qin's coming-of-age ceremony, which had been postponed for nearly a year, would be officially set for April of the same year.
Lü Buwei had no reason to request a further postponement; the Queen's pregnancy was sufficient proof that the young King of Qin was mature in all aspects.
After the court meeting ended, Lao Ai followed the Empress Dowager to Ganquan Palace. This was the first time he had seen the Empress Dowager since he was sent away from Xianyang four months ago.
"Your Majesty, I brought back many interesting little trinkets for you to play with on my trip to Shu. Please take a look."
Lao Ai was attentive and his demeanor was gentle and respectful.
Ji Changyue peeked inside and saw that the box was indeed full of rare and unusual items. "Now that I am the Queen Mother, what can't I have?" She wasn't very interested and casually flipped through it a couple of times before putting it down.
"Then...don't you miss me?" Lao Ai knelt on the footstool, his fingers gently tracing the Empress Dowager's magnificent robes toward her thigh. He knew what the Empress Dowager liked; she liked him to defy authority, to speak respectfully, and to act boldly.
As expected, the Empress Dowager's expression softened, and she seemed tempted. However, she still brushed his hand away. "Don't be silly. Do you think things are still the same as before? The Queen is pregnant, and I cannot stay in Ganquan Palace for too long. Get up."
"Tell me, what is the purpose of Zheng'er sending you to Shu?"
"It's nothing." Lao Ai said with some regret, getting up and sitting down next to her. "It's just that Shu is surrounded by mountains on all sides. Although Dujiangyan is useful, it can only meet the irrigation needs of a limited number of farmlands. It's like water from afar can't quench immediate thirst. Moreover, the culture of Shu is too unique. In the past, the former king moved a group of Qin people there. Intermarriage between the two groups promoted the integration of the two cultures, and the effect was quite good."
"I still need to come back quickly. Where in Qin does the state not need me these days?" Lao Ai wasn't exaggerating when he said this, but he did so with a sense of pride and arrogance. "These were all given to me by the Empress Dowager."
However, despite his smugness, he didn't forget to flatter the Empress Dowager, saying, "Without the Empress Dowager, where would this villain be today? No matter how much I love the Empress Dowager, it's not enough."
"You always know how to say nice things," the Empress Dowager said with a smile. "However, my son trusts you, so you must not let him down. Do your job well."
She gently placed her slender hand on the back of Lao Ai's hand, "Don't just be loyal to me."
“These days, how could I not be loyal to him?” This was the kind of thing Lao Ai hated to hear the most. He could tolerate it in the past, but after a moment’s thought, he pretended to complain, “Aren’t our children the Empress Dowager’s sons?”
“These days, you haven’t gone back to visit them at all; all you’ve been thinking about is the Queen’s belly.”
The moment he finished speaking, the Empress Dowager's expression changed drastically, and she abruptly covered his mouth. "Are you crazy? How could you say such a thing in the palace? Don't you value your life?"
“This is the Empress Dowager’s Ganquan Palace. We are all family here. How can we not speak?” Once he started to say something, he had to finish it. “Even that fool Chengjiao was granted the title of Lord Chang’an. How pitiful are those two children? It’s bad enough that they can’t live openly in the palace, but Mother hasn’t even gone back to visit them for three months.”
"Shut up!" The Queen Mother's face darkened. "Do you think I don't care about my son? The situation is urgent. The Queen's pregnancy is a matter of national importance, and I naturally value the Queen's health even more."
Lao Ai thought to himself that the Empress Dowager was a heartless woman. No matter how many times he sent letters, she always pretended not to see them. All her talk about 'missing her son' was a lie. Sure enough, she still harbored the idea of killing his son. They were all sons, so why was there such a big difference? Did only Ying Yiren's offspring deserve to live?
His face contorted for a moment, and his hands clenched tightly beneath his wide sleeves.
He quickly adopted a look of dejection and fear. “I have angered the Empress Dowager,” he said, kneeling firmly on the footboard with a thud. “I am just too scared. If the King finds out about this, he will surely kill me and our child.”
“They are so pitiful. Their father is useless, and their mother favors their eldest son. They live alone in Yongdi, surrounded by palace servants and wet nurses. I'm afraid they will never be able to see the outside world before they die.” As he spoke, Lao Ai choked up and wiped away his tears with his sleeve.
Empress Dowager Wang fell silent, and after a long while, she sighed softly, "Alright, what are you doing? Zheng'er won't know, and even if he did, how could he be so heartless?"
When she got to the second half of her sentence, she paused for a moment, perhaps wondering if she was starting to doubt her son's heartlessness.
"I will make arrangements." The Empress Dowager personally helped him up and gently stroked his face. "Don't worry." She rarely showed such tenderness. "You've stayed long enough. Don't arouse suspicion. Just leave the palace obediently."
Lao Ai's eyes were still red as he clung to the Empress Dowager, seemingly particularly attached to her.
She didn't resist, but nestled into his arms and patted his shoulder gently as if coaxing a child, "Alright, alright, after the Queen gives birth and finishes her confinement, I will return to Yongdi, and we will still be together then."
He refused to let go, so she had no choice but to let him hold her a little longer. It had indeed been three or four months since they last saw each other, and she missed him too.
Thinking this, she swept her hand across his neck.
Suddenly, a small mark under her collar caught her attention.
Dark in color, with a reddish tinge and a slight hint of purple.
She paused for a moment, then subconsciously frowned and reached out to gently stroke it.
With a hint of reluctance on his face, Lao Ai released her and stepped back, saying, "I'll be going now. I'll send you a message when I have time."
"Oh." She hadn't quite reacted yet, staring blankly at her lover's departing figure.
As his figure disappeared from sight, the warmth on her face gradually faded, her arm, which had been stroking her lover's neck, slowly fell to its lower end, and the smile on her lips was completely suppressed.
She stood there, her beautiful face filled with confusion, while the stray grass swayed in the wind.
After some time, a young palace maid, her voice trembling and timid, called out, "Empress Dowager..."
Ji Changyue turned to the side. This palace servant had come in from outside the palace gate and had been kneeling there for who knows how long. Perhaps he was frightened by her.
She looked around and suddenly realized that apart from Lao Ai, she had no one else who was of any use to her.
After a long pause, she asked, "What's your name?"
The palace maid was slender and delicate. "My name is Jingxin."
"Mirror Heart?" Ji Changyue lowered his gaze, landing on her. "A mind as clear as a mirror?"
Jingxin nodded. "It was a name given to me by an aunt, who hoped that I could see through the ways of the world and distinguish between truth and falsehood." After saying that, a hint of shyness appeared on her trembling face. "Unfortunately, I am dull-witted. I might as well change my name to Yuxin (Foolish Heart)."
Ji Changyue walked up to her, bent down, and lifted her chin.
This small face is pretty but not beautiful, and the person is quite young, only fifteen or sixteen years old.
How could Jingxin dare to meet the Empress Dowager's gaze? "Aunt Congyun, who is beside the Queen, ordered me to invite the Empress Dowager."
"Follow me from now on." Ji Changyue straightened up and passed by her.
Jingxin was stunned, then a look of joy spread across her face. She immediately scrambled to her feet and followed the Empress Dowager, calling out in a tone of endless gratitude, "This servant thanks Your Majesty for your appreciation! I will certainly serve you well in the future!"
Upon arriving at Zhaoyang Palace, Banban and Ying Zheng were waiting for Ji Changyue to dine together.
I had a smooth first trimester with no adverse reactions. I had a good appetite every day, and it felt like I wasn't pregnant at all. The only real feeling was that after more than four months, my lower abdomen finally started to bulge a little.
Ying Zheng would touch it almost every day.
“It’s not fully grown yet, cousin, you can’t touch it.” Banban slapped his hand away. “The calluses on your palms are making me uncomfortable.”
Ying Zheng then touched it through its clothes, saying, "Let it get used to it sooner."
"I have prepared some letters and teaching materials, which I will read to it every day from now on."
"..." Isn't this just torturing her?
Banban fell silent for a moment.
This man was a man of action; that very night he brought over a stack of books and insisted on reading them to the child.
"Today is the first time we've slept together since I became pregnant, and this is how you treat me?" she said indignantly, slamming her hand against the bamboo scroll. "I don't want to hear it!"
"Alright, alright, then I won't read it anymore." Ying Zheng put the scroll away and placed it aside.
"If it weren't for my aunt saying she wasn't used to attending court for several days in a row and was feeling dizzy and worried about passing on her illness to me, you would still be sleeping outside. You don't know how to cherish things at all," Banban snorted, turning her head away.
Ying Zheng understood everything. He leaned closer and said, "You missed me, didn't you?"
"...!!"
"The physician said it's not working yet," she said, sounding sullen and distressed. "Why are the days passing so slowly?"
He chuckled and hugged her. Seeing that she was about to shed tears of grievance, he stroked her face and leaned in to kiss her. She hooked her arms around his neck and stuck out her tongue to entwine with his. Between their lips and teeth, there were occasional ambiguous sounds.
"...I keep dreaming about you these past few days."
What did you dream about?
Knowing full well the answer, she stammered for a while, then pushed him away, not wanting to talk to him.
"I miss you too, just bear with it a little longer," Ying Zheng said patiently. "You can't get emotional right now."
She had never been like this before she was pregnant, so why was she so sexually frustrated during her pregnancy? She was not used to it at all. When she looked over, she realized that her cousin was probably also very pent up. She leaned against him and miserably helped him with his crafts.
After an unknown amount of time, his breathing became unsteady. He took a deep breath, grasped her wrist, and said, slightly out of breath, "Alright, don't tire yourself out."
"Then rub it for me, my wrist is sore." She raised her hand, and there was still some liquid left on her fingers, which looked like milk. Out of curiosity, she wanted to lick it.
He was slightly startled, immediately pulled her hand away, his tense tone containing an indescribable emotion, "You can't eat that." He quickly took off his clothes and wiped her clean.
Banban was momentarily confused, "Why?"
"My cousin has also eaten at other people's restaurants."
When he was aroused, he wanted to tear her apart and devour her whole.
He only said one sentence: "My cousin's lips are for kissing."
"Then let's kiss again." She lifted her cheek, revealing a sweet smile.
During their intimate kiss, she asked him to touch her too, but he still said no, at least another half month. She clung to him seductively, just like a rabbit with unsatisfied desire.
If it doesn't work, it doesn't work.
Banban was fuming, and there was nothing she could do, so she quickly tried to think of something else to distract herself.
When the topic of Ji Changyue's illness came up again, she said, "Could it be that Xianyang really has bad feng shui, and my sister-in-law is not comfortable living here?"
Ying Zheng closed his eyes and patted her shoulder lightly, trying to lull her to sleep: "It's just a mental illness, it has nothing to do with feng shui, don't worry about it."
"What's troubling you?" Banban's eyes darted around, and she leaned closer, lowering her voice. "Could it be that my aunt misses Lao Ai?"
"You can say anything." Ying Zheng gave her bottom a light pat.
"I meant missing you, not the kind of longing we were just doing. You've misunderstood me." Banban pinched his arm hard.
Ying Zheng seemed reluctant to bring up the matter, saying, "When you're with her during the day, don't reveal that you know about Lao Ai."
“I haven’t said anything yet.” She pressed on, “Cousin, last time when we went to Yong, didn’t you say that you would have a long talk with your aunt when she returned to Xianyang?”
"The time is not right yet."
When will the time be right?
"Cousin."
"Cousin!"
Ying Zheng simply pinched her mouth shut.
She couldn't get anything done, and she couldn't sleep; she was full of energy, but he had finally managed to calm down...
In the middle of the night, Ying Zheng was awakened by his wife's rumbling stomach. He opened his eyes and saw her sitting on the bed, holding her belly. When she saw that he was awake, she said in a soft voice, "I didn't mean to be hungry."
He held his forehead, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.
Pregnant women are prone to hunger, and he had done his homework in advance. So the cooks in the kitchen took turns on night duty these days, just in case the queen called for meals in the middle of the night.
Before long, a fragrant bowl of chicken noodle soup was placed in front of Banban.
She ate heartily, even finishing every last drop of soup.
Ying Zheng reached out and wiped the grease from the corner of her mouth. "What else would you like to eat?"
Whether she was full or not, she seemed a little dazed, and after a long while she finally said, "Pickled radish." As soon as she finished speaking, saliva started flowing from her mouth.
Radish is a very familiar type of radish, but it is called radish at this time.
The cook had prepared everything well, and when the Queen asked for it, he immediately brought out a plate of it.
She wanted to eat, but not too much. She gnawed on three or four short, finger-thick sour radishes before she couldn't eat anymore.
After she finished eating, she went to sleep. With all this commotion, it was just before dawn, and it was time for Ying Zheng to get up.
Banban slept until noon, when the imperial physician came to take her pulse and confirmed that she was fine. She then asked him to go to Ganquan Palace.
"Your Majesty, His Majesty sent someone to Ganquan Palace this morning to examine the Empress Dowager's pulse."
"And then what happened?"
"He's probably just tired; he should rest for a couple of days."
The imperial physicians were all shrewd. Since the Empress Dowager was bedridden, no matter how healthy their diagnosis was, they couldn't contradict her, but they also couldn't deceive the King, that would be a serious crime.
Therefore, in such situations, it's not wrong to talk about something harmless or not really an illness.
Under Banban's rule, the entire harem had countless eyes and ears. Not long after lunch, Qianyin came in and whispered in her ear, "Ganquan Palace sent people to investigate the recent movements of Marquis Changxin."
Banban glanced at her sideways. It wasn't that she was intentionally trying to investigate the Empress Dowager; rather, it was that her subordinates wanted to show their loyalty and wanted to report every move of everyone in the palace to her in exchange for rewards.
The Queen's position in Qin is not only secure; she has been married to the King of Qin for many years, yet he has never taken another concubine, and the Queen is currently pregnant.
Although the Queen Mother is the Queen Mother, that's all she'll ever be. And if she gives birth to a child someday, she'll become the next Queen Mother. Does she even need to think about who to curry favor with?
Has the aunt finally discovered that Lao Ai was not truly faithful?
Banban breathed a strange sigh of relief. Ever since Geng'er said that Lao Ai was having fun outside, she had been filled with resentment, but Ying Zheng forbade her to say it.
He said, "If you act like this villain, you can't guarantee that others won't resent you in the future." He had the clearest understanding of human nature.
It's unclear whether Lao Ai's exposure was due to his own actions or the covert machinations of Ying Zheng.
Where is Yingyue?
Qian Yin said, "Princess Yongning is serving her medicine at Ganquan Palace."
No matter what, Ji Changyue is now Ying Yue's biological mother in name only, and she is the one who should be served.
"No wonder," Banban muttered.
No wonder Ying Zheng said last night that Ji Changyue had a mental illness.
It is unknown what the outcome was, but less than two days later, Ji Changyue sent carriages to Yong to fetch his trusted confidants to Xianyang.
Banban had met that maid before. When she went to Yongdi with Ying Zheng, she was the one who took Ji Changyue's place and did all the work. Her name was Qingzhuo. She was very capable and looked to be in her early twenties.
When Banban met her, she smelled a faint milky fragrance. She sniffed it a couple more times and thought she was mistaken because of her pregnancy.
"Is Aunt Qingzhuo still breastfeeding?" She looked around at Qingzhuo and noticed her full figure, especially her chest, and the milky smell.
"Your Majesty has a good eye," Qingzhuo said honestly. "My child is six months old."
These days, Banban seems quite interested in children. "Oh? Is it a boy or a girl? Is taking care of a child tiring?"
Qingzhu smiled and said, "They are two boys, so it's not tiring. Those little ones are as skinny as can be. If you ask me, Her Majesty has so many palace servants accompanying her. Her Majesty only needs to look after the children every day. The rest are taken care of, so she won't be tired."
"You're right." Banban nodded and let her go.
As night fell, outside the silent city of Xianyang, Qingzhuo held two swaddled infants in her arms, one on each side. Standing opposite her was a woman in a cloak, the black cloak's hood completely concealing her figure.
"Go as far away as possible. The situation in Zhao is stable now. Go to Handan, live there, and never come back. I will send you money through the Ji family's shops every now and then."
"This money is enough to ensure you live a life of comfort and ease. You three can't possibly squander it all. Just treat them like your children, and don't tell anyone else! Do you understand?"
Qingzhuo wiped away her tears. "Your Majesty, won't you hug them again?"
It turned out that the woman in the cloak was none other than Empress Dowager Ji Changyue.
Her face was somewhat pale. "I'll just take one last look and that's it," she said with a bitter smile. "They were my mistakes. Not killing them is the last act of mercy I, as their mother, can give them."
"Your Majesty..." Qingzhuo said with a sorrowful expression, "Your Majesty, you have suffered. This is not your fault."
"It's all because of that Lao Ai. He became arrogant after gaining power. He was granted the title of Marquis of Changxin by you, but he couldn't be loyal. Taking advantage of your ignorance... not only did he indulge in pleasure, but he also kept more than twenty concubines in the Lao Kingdom. He is truly hateful!"
“That’s just how men are.” Ji Changyue’s expression was cold and she found it ridiculous that she had trusted him so deeply. “I was too naive. After experiencing so much, I still dared to believe in a man’s sweet words.”
"This is disgusting!"
"Qingzhuo, you've followed me for years, and now I only trust you." Ji Changyue said with a self-deprecating smile, "Don't disappoint me. Take advantage of the night and leave quickly."
With tears in her eyes, Qingzhuo was pushed onto the carriage. She glanced at Ji Changyue for a long time before lowering the curtain without looking back. The two children in her arms began to cry, as if they knew what had happened.
The carriage swayed and rattled as it drove away. Ji Changyue turned back, got into her own carriage, and left the place.
Qingzhuo silently shed tears, coaxing the child while repeatedly murmuring, "What a terrible thing to do."
Suddenly, the horse neighed loudly, the carriage shook violently, and cries of alarm came from outside.
Qingzhuo abruptly lifted the curtain, "What—"
Before she could finish speaking, her expression froze on her face.
What came into view were the King of Qin's personal guards, clad in armor and exuding an imposing aura.
Terrified, she knelt down in the car with a thud, trembling violently, her face shaking uncontrollably, her legs quivering, as if she were about to die.
In the darkness of night, the curtains of the royal carriage were tied up, revealing only half of the King of Qin's sharp eyebrows and eyes.
His gaze shifted downwards, landing on the two swaddled babies in Qingzhuo's arms.
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