Forced into a state of disorientation, "his fears and thoughts."...
I dreamt of Pang last night. For Banban, those days in Handan were very happy, but unfortunately even the dreams were short-lived.
She was awakened by the urge to urinate. She took a long breath, rubbed her eyes and got up, only to find her cousin leaning against the bed with his eyes slightly closed.
Why is she sleeping like that?
Banban hurriedly shook him awake, "Cousin, why don't you lie down and sleep? How can you be comfortable like this? Your neck will ache." He had to attend court early every day and had to get up very early. If he didn't sleep well at night, he would feel uncomfortable all day.
Ying Zheng was a very light sleeper; he woke up almost as soon as his cousin got up. "Do you need to get up in the middle of the night?"
He pulled her out of bed, and Banban was still a little dazed. Without thinking, she hugged his neck first.
After leaving through the side door and finishing her business and getting dressed, she remembered that her cousin had been keeping her company every day for the past few days, and they were practically inseparable. She hesitated, "Has my cousin been like this all this time?"
She slept soundly that night.
"No, I had a nightmare tonight and didn't sleep well," Ying Zheng said.
She stared at his expression repeatedly, remaining silent with her lips pursed.
"..."
"..."
He said helplessly, "I'm worried about you."
"Aren't we together every day? Why are you still worried?" She wasn't about to choke on her food, was she? Banban wouldn't allow him to be like that. "Let's go back and rest. You say I overthink things, but aren't you the same?"
Back on the bed, she pulled his arm around her waist and gently patted the back of his hand. "If you're worried, hold me. I want to sleep in my cousin's arms."
“Okay.” He readily agreed.
The night was quiet, and her cousin's embrace was warm and cozy. Before long, Banban drifted off to sleep.
In her hazy state, she felt his large hand gently stroking her lower abdomen, the movement hesitant and slow.
In autumn, the carrot harvest season arrived. Banban ordered a batch to be picked. Each carrot was as long as a palm, small but exceptionally fresh.
I gave some to each family, and kept some for myself to stew with beef brisket that night.
They also cut a plate of raw radish strips, which the family ate while sitting on the porch.
The carrots are tender and crisp, with a crunchy texture.
Zhao'er ate two sticks and then started fussing about playing with the wooden sword. The eunuch played with him, and they fought back and forth.
Banban sat down next to Ying Zheng. "The grapes are just starting to climb the vines. If we want to eat them, we may have to wait several more years."
Ying Zheng held her hand and comforted her, saying, "It takes longer to replant foreign seeds. After the seedlings are grown from seed, they will have to go through a long juvenile period, and may not flower or bear fruit for two or three years. This is the natural growth process, so it's okay to wait a little longer."
I didn't manage to grow watermelons. I've never grown them before and don't know how long it takes for them to bear fruit. I only know that watermelons are usually eaten in the summer.
As a result, we planted them too early this year, and they didn't bear fruit. We wasted a lot of seeds. We learned our lesson this year and know that watermelons have a maximum growth cycle of three months and prefer slightly warmer weather.
"Grapes and other fruits are fine, but watermelons should be planted next April, and we're sure to grow sweet and delicious fruits then."
The two discussed fruit cultivation for a while, and then Banban inquired about the unresolved issues of the Zhao state.
"Zhao Jia is nothing to fear. The troops in Dai Commandery number only a hundred. King Xi of Yan is indecisive and fears our Great Qin. Zhao Jia was taken in by Crown Prince Ji Dan. He is determined to resist Qin and use this to gain a good reputation. He intends to unite with Wei and Chu to resist Qin."
"Unfortunately, the King of Wei is useless. After this news spread, he feared that it would anger me and took the initiative to cede territory and sue for peace."
Banban was surprised, then his expression turned strange, and he muttered to himself, "As expected, no matter when or where, ceding land can never truly bring peace." The more they retreated, the more defeated they became, until finally their country was destroyed and they surrendered.
She wasn't thinking about the Warring States period.
Naturally, returning to the present moment and from a general perspective, it would be a great thing to be able to annex other countries without bloodshed.
At night, Banban was careful and pretended to be asleep. When it was late at night, she opened her eyes and peeked out. Sure enough, her cousin was still not lying down to sleep.
The strange feeling I had last night wasn't an illusion; it was real.
She said she needed to get up in the middle of the night, and just like the night before, Ying Zheng carried her away.
My cousin lied to me.
Banban's words were abrupt, and Ying Zheng's mind was still immersed in the fact that his cousin was getting up more and more frequently at night after his body became heavy. He subconsciously retorted, "When did I lie to you?"
“You lied to me last night and tonight.” Banban lifted his face and straightened him. “Confess honestly, or I’ll order you to.”
"It's really nothing," Ying Zheng said vaguely. "Aren't you sleepy anymore? Let's go back."
“I don’t want to, if you don’t tell me…” She turned her head and looked around, then said cruelly, “I’ll freeze to death myself.”
How can the weather be so freezing at the very beginning of October?
Ying Zheng: "...I'm tired, so I'm leaving."
Banban pretended not to hear, acting as if he were deaf and sighing. When he saw that Banban was really about to leave, he sighed even louder.
"??" He's really gone?
Banban, puffing up in anger, quickly chased after him, calling out, "Cousin!"
--"ah!"
He didn't actually leave; he just leaned against the door with his arms crossed.
She rushed out to chase after him and bumped right into him, which startled her.
When she was pregnant with Zhao'er, her cousin doted on her so much that he was afraid she would melt in his mouth or fall from his hands. How could he have deliberately frightened her?
This subtle difference immediately put Banban on alert.
"Cousin, you—"
"Did I scare you?" He brushed away the stray hairs that she almost ate, sighed, and said, "It's so late, and you're still acting like a child."
"That's just how I am!" she shouted, refusing to go with him, but he picked her up and carried her back to the inner room.
Lying back in bed, Banban tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep. She was always like this; she couldn't keep her thoughts to herself, much less hide them. Confused after much thought, she simply asked directly, "Does my cousin not like the child in my belly?"
He didn't speak.
The silence makes one's heart sink.
She still had something she didn't understand, so she immediately grabbed his hand and shook him, "Say something!"
How could a king not like his own child? It seems that cousins in history had many children. Moreover, having only one child carries great risks. If something were to happen to the crown prince, the country would face the problem of having no heir. At that time, whether the queen, who is getting old, would still be able to have children would be another new problem.
Even in ordinary families, it was possible to have as many children as possible. However, in times of war, the risk of death was too great, whether from illness or murder.
If ordinary people think this way, one can only imagine what members of the royal family think.
Therefore, in this era, having many children means being blessed.
She thought her cousin thought the same way, that he just pitied her and didn't want her to give birth to two children in a short period of time. But she didn't expect that to be the case at all.
why is that?
"No, why are you thinking about these things?" He gently patted Banban's shoulder. "How about I tell you a story to lull you to sleep?"
"You're being so obvious, yet you're still trying to hide it from me. I'm uneasy and can't sleep." She brushed his arm away, feeling confused and apprehensive.
“But if I were to reveal my true thoughts, I’m afraid it would frighten you even more.” Ying Zheng stroked her cheek, leaned down and embraced her on the bed, his voice low and almost inaudible. “As the King of Qin, I need an heir to inherit this vast country, so I am delighted by Zhao’er’s arrival. You once told me about the struggle between Huhai and Fusu. Ultimately, if there are too many people to choose from, brothers will fight each other.”
"It would be enough to leave Zhao'er here and teach her properly. I don't ask for much," he said slowly, then paused when he met her tearful eyes in the dim light.
A few moments later, he chuckled self-deprecatingly, "Never mind, the most important reason is that I'm afraid something might happen to you."
All that he said so far seemed like he was justifying his own fears: "Even though you just fell asleep from exhaustion on the day of delivery... I couldn't think at the time, and I didn't dare to think about it, if you really did that—"
He always avoided these kinds of things, and wouldn't even utter the word 'death,' which shows how genuinely afraid he was.
"How can I expect anything from him? The further along your pregnancy goes, the more real my fear becomes." Sometimes I even think about having my cousin miscarry quietly.
He didn't do that simply because slipping on a tire would also cause significant physical harm, and he wouldn't hurt his cousin, who was his wife.
Moreover, my cousin and Zhao'er would touch her belly every day with concern, looking forward to the arrival of the new life.
His emotions were so out of place, making him seem even more cold-blooded and unconventional.
"If we hadn't acted out of selfish desires, this child wouldn't have come into our lives unexpectedly."
Banban was stunned. She considered all the possibilities, but she never thought that her cousin had witnessed her exhausted and unconscious state when she gave birth to Zhao'er, which gave rise to boundless fear.
She did seem to have been unconscious for a full day and night? She didn't remember.
What was he feeling at the time? She never asked, nor did she know that he was carrying such a burden.
Composing herself, Banban stroked his hand and placed it on her lower abdomen. "Cousin, although this child was not expected, I am really looking forward to it."
She said earnestly, "This is my child with my cousin. I love my cousin, I love Zhao'er, so I love it too."
“I will be fine. I was unconscious that day because I had never given birth before,” the midwife said. She explained that I was young and inexperienced, and my birth canal was a bit narrow, which was why I was so exhausted after giving birth, as if all my energy had been drained. First-time mothers are always a bit inexperienced. “If you are worried, we can let the Chu princess stay in Xianyang to take care of me. Didn’t you say that she is a gynecological expert who has saved many women from Shu?”
"I won't leave my cousin, we'll be husband and wife for life!" She wasn't even an empress yet, so who would understand? If she were to leave now, she'd be jumping up and slapping her head in her dreams!
"Isn't the bracelet made by the Chu princess still in the experimental stage? If it's successful, I'll also want a few pills to embed in the bells of my anklet, so it won't affect the appearance."
Ying Zheng was finally persuaded by her chatter and showed a hint of relief. "Then forget it. If we put the pill in, the bell won't ring, right?"
Banban: "?"
"When you gave me the bell as an anklet, were you out of your mind back then?"
"..." Ying Zheng pressed her head into his arms, "How old was I then?"
Banban noticed that her cousin did not deny the term "bad boy".
The bells used as anklets didn't seem wrong at the time, but now it seems strange. Does that mean he can hear her wherever she goes? How is this any different from an ancient version of a locator?
The atmosphere seemed to relax a bit, and Banban, seizing the opportunity, got mischievous and deliberately tugged at his collar, asking, "If you have two sons, how will you divide the land, cousin? I've heard that the King of Zhao had two sons, and no matter which one he inherited the country from, he always favored the other. In the end, he even considered dividing the land in two and giving it to them equally." Although this plan was never realized.
Ying Zheng was fearless and, without even thinking, said directly, "There are countless lands in this world, and the lands across the ocean are all unclaimed."
Who told you it was unclaimed?
They're just a little poor; is this property unclaimed?
Forced into abandonment?
...But thinking about it, if the whole Earth spoke Chinese in the future, it seems... kind of cool. Even if thousands or tens of thousands of years later, people would start fighting each other, it would still be better than letting blond-haired, blue-eyed people land on Earth.
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Author's Note: Here I am! No extra update today. It's raining heavily, so I went out for hot pot with my family. Mwah! I sent out the red envelopes from the last chapter.
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