The Plain Girl Classic: "The Art of the Bedchamber".
In the dimly lit interior, the candlelight burning in the bronze cauldron flickered like a dancing girl, and a trail of lingering heat filled the air.
Slightly out of breath, Banban leaned against her cousin's neck and pitifully said that her back ached, she had no strength at all, and even her thigh muscles were sore and she couldn't get up.
He coaxed her to untie her hair tie.
But she insisted on him doing it this way.
Sure enough, she always comes up with a bunch of mischievous tricks at times like this.
She loved watching him indulge her, unable to do anything about her, and then she could boss him around, saying things like, "I learned it all from you. You tied my hands up like that too. If you put yourself in my shoes, you'd understand what I was thinking back then."
Ying Zheng: "I never used a hair ribbon to tie you up."
"Yes, yes, Your Majesty is so powerful! You can restrain both of my wrists with just one hand... Ah!"
Before De Se and Yin Yang could finish their sentence, they were immediately punished.
The last time she was jolted like this was on horseback. She bit him, her teeth itching, "You did this on purpose." Her words were quickly broken into fragmented syllables, but she still stubbornly insisted, "I don't feel anything, I don't feel anything, it's not comfortable at all."
She couldn't take it anymore, like a lamb drowning and trying to save itself, trying to get down.
There was a tearing sound.
Under Banban's terrified gaze, the brocade ribbon tore apart. He broke free effortlessly; he had only been playing along with her before. "Ahhh!" She quickly turned her head, trying to run away.
Before he could climb two steps, his ankle was suddenly grabbed by a large hand and he was dragged back.
She was terrified and quickly begged for forgiveness, "Cousin, I was wrong, I was wrong!"
The room was already dimly lit, and half of his expression was hidden, except for the casual way he tidied up her broken hair ribbon and placed it on the pillow. "Didn't you say you weren't feeling well? Let's play something more comfortable."
Banban: "..." He shot himself in the foot.
The next day, Banban woke up first. She didn't wake up naturally, but was awakened by the sour taste. It was sour, astringent, and bloated. Recalling this feeling, it was just like the day after their wedding.
Today, Ying Zheng is on leave, and he is sleeping peacefully.
When he was asleep, his face became much calmer, yet still possessed an unapproachable, serene quality.
She darted closer to him like a caterpillar, opened her mouth and bit his nose, then gently touched his eyelashes.
Sometimes she really wanted to devour him, especially when they were close, and she loved to bite him, with his chest and abdomen being the worst targets.
He was spot on, but the locations were different; the teeth marks mostly appeared on the thighs and back shoulders.
Is this really normal for a couple?
Its eyelashes were fluffy, and just two touches were enough to wake the person up.
Banban awkwardly withdrew his hand. "Cousin, you're awake."
He didn't speak, lazily closed his eyes again, pulled her into his arms, and gently massaged her lower back with his palms, spreading down to her sore thighs.
She nestled obediently in his arms, and the two rested for a while before getting up together when it was time to eat.
When Ying Zhao returned for lunch, he said that his father and mother were lazybones.
Being lazy even once a month is already pretty bad.
Banban insisted on starting to lose weight, and on her day off, she went with Ying Zheng to find Xia Wuqie and play.
To be fair, Xia Wuqie really had her own skills. She followed along to practice the guiding exercises, and sure enough, those postures and breathing methods were similar to the yoga she had heard of. However, she was only a very young girl in her previous life and had never practiced yoga; she had only seen some small advertisements.
Suddenly he started talking about bedroom arts.
While the people of Qin were much more open-minded, discussing sexual techniques in front of the King and Queen was still a bit too bold and perverse...
Banban was speechless with astonishment.
...No wonder Ying Zheng didn't allow Ying Zhao to listen when Xia Wuqie was around; some topics were simply not suitable for children to know.
As he listened, Banban fell silent.
Xia Wuqie said earnestly, "Your Majesty may not know, but the techniques I use in this house are not about indulging in lust, but about nourishing life, prolonging life, and even pursuing immortality!"
The keyword has been triggered.
Sure enough, my cousin was very focused.
No wonder they moved him to their side as a personal physician.
However, this doesn't seem entirely unreasonable. The combination and balance of Yin and Yang can indeed prolong life and promote health. In her previous life, she had heard gossip about how Empress Wu Zetian slept with young men in her old age and even grew a new tooth. At the time, she didn't understand why a tooth would grow, but now that she's grown up, she does.
"The union of Yin and Yang is not only a means of reproduction, but also a means of health preservation and cultivation," Xia Wuqie said. "Whether it's our position, the rhythm, or even the art of opera." He smiled slightly, subtly indicating what the art of opera meant.
It is the preparation beforehand, which is easy to understand and can be understood as 'foreplay'.
"..." What's going on? I want to hear it but I'm also embarrassed.
"The ideal outcome is to achieve a balance between yin and yang, rather than a single 'gathering and fighting'."
After saying that, Xia Wuqie took out two books. "It is said that the Yellow Emperor once asked Su Nu and Xuan Nu for advice on the art of the bedroom. This practice is known as the art of the union of male and female energies."
Banban: "Is this what dual cultivation is?"
Xia Wuqie exclaimed in surprise, "The Queen is absolutely right!"
She peeked out and saw that her cousin was holding the "Su Nu Jing" (Classic of the Plain Girl). She secretly flipped through a few pages, "...instructing the woman to lay still, bend her legs, and have the man between her, holding her mouth..."
"...For the obese, insert half an inch; for the weak, insert one inch. Slowly withdraw and then insert again to cure all diseases."
“Shallowly prick the strings, inserting three and a half inches, keeping the mouth closed while pricking. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, then deepen... while the woman inhales through her mouth, perform the nine-nine method.”
She slammed it shut and glanced at her cousin.
His expression was quite serious, extremely so.
This made her afraid to think too much, otherwise wouldn't she be tarnishing the ideal of cultivating immortality?
Xia Wuqie is quite serious.
Banban dared not stay and listen, and made an excuse to go see the child and slipped away.
As a result, for the next month or so, her seemingly serious cousin led her to learn all the moves in the book, asking her how it felt and whether it was the same as described in the book.
How does it feel?
Banban could no longer bear it, and felt utterly hopeless. "Tomorrow..."
Ying Zheng: "Hmm?"
"I should be able to become an immortal."
"...?" He said with restraint and politeness, "When the Queen becomes an immortal, please don't forget to take me with you."
Neuropathy.
Neuropathy! !
I'm not taking you.
Ying Zhao was born in the summer, and Xing Shu was also born in the summer.
The older brother was born in the Year of the Rat, and the younger sister was born in the Year of the Dragon.
During the New Year, Banban ordered two collars to be made, one carved with a rat and the other with a dragon.
Xing Shu is just as intelligent as Ying Zhao, in no way inferior to him. Although he cannot speak yet, he can already understand some simple words.
Banban put the collar on her, and she waved her chubby little hands for a long time, her big, clear eyes curving into crescent moons with laughter.
The two children dressed up and went out of the palace to visit Ji Changyue.
Her shop's business was much better at the end of the year. Originally, many officials of the court wanted to buy some of the flower tea and perfume sold by the Empress Dowager. Taking care of the Empress Dowager's business was a big deal, comparable to going to court every day.
When the time came, many people came in groups, only to find that there was a long queue.
Mi Dian and Li Si, looking at the long queue with some impatience, said, "Although business is better at the end of the year, is it really necessary to queue like this? Is someone buying for them? This should be strictly prohibited!"
Li Si rubbed his nose. "You can line up now, or you'll attract the soldiers' wrath later. Wouldn't that be embarrassing? No loud noises are allowed in the market."
The person in front turned around and said, "It's said that the shop owner's elder brother and sister-in-law came to help. The two of them are exceptionally good-looking, especially the shop owner's sister-in-law, who has a stunning beauty. That's why they attracted so many people to stop and stare." He shook his head and sighed, "Indeed, like attracts like. The whole family is beautiful."
"Eldest brother?" Li Si asked in surprise.
"Sister-in-law?" Mi Dian asked, puzzled.
The two exchanged a glance.
After a while, Mi Dian asked uncertainly, "Isn't Lord Shangyuan still in the palace compiling books right now?" He wasn't very learned, but he was always exceptionally diligent when he worked.
“I saw it too.” Li Si remained silent. “Lady Zhaoyuan took my daughter back to Handan the day before yesterday to offer incense to the Zhu family, and they haven’t returned yet.”
Who are this eldest brother and sister-in-law?
"The shopkeeper's elder brother doesn't even have a beard. Isn't that strange? His face is as white as a woman's... and he's not good-looking at all." For some reason, the man felt a little sour and shook his head, touching his own beard.
"..."
"..."
The two fell silent.
Li Si remained silent, and subconsciously touched his beard.
Mi Dian lowered her voice: "So there are still people who don't grow beards. The King has no hair at all—cough cough, if we tell him about this, will he be happier?"
Li Si: "???"
He moved a little further away from Mi Dian.
After queuing for a full quarter of an hour, I finally arrived at the shop. The sister-in-law warmly saw a customer off, and when I turned around, I saw Li Si and Mi Dian's faces.
Li Si: "..."
Mi Dian: "?!?!?!"
"You, you, you—"
The sister-in-law was momentarily bewildered, then coughed lightly.
The next moment, her elder brother appeared behind her. He was eight feet six inches tall, with broad shoulders and long legs, and his imposing face was expressionless.
He asked slowly, "What do you want to buy?"
Mi Dian's eyelids rolled back, and she fainted on the spot.
All I heard was a chorus of "Hey!"
After an unknown amount of time, Mi Dian slowly woke up and was being dragged into the shop by Li Si. He knelt down on the floor with a 'plop'.
The people who had been queuing nearby fell silent and all turned to look in their direction.
"What are you doing, sir?" Banban was afraid that everyone would see through her act, so she frantically gave him meaningful glances, urging him to get up quickly.
"Reporting to the King—"
Before he could finish speaking, Li Si forcefully covered his mouth.
Mi Dian: "Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!" What are you doing?! What are you doing?!
"The King and Queen are here to experience the lives of ordinary people. If you expose their identities, they will surely be furious. Don't ruin their plans," Li Si warned almost inaudibly.
Upon hearing this, Mi Dian's often-absent mind finally returned briefly, and she stood up shakily, supported by Li Si's hand.
Li Si then released him, turning his head to give Ying Zheng a knowing look.
Ying Zheng was full of praise and replied with a knowing look.
"I lost my balance, I lost my balance, I wasn't looking at the steps." Mi Dian wiped the sweat from his forehead.
The crowd behind him gradually resumed their hushed whispers, and Banban even heard someone agree that the steps were indeed a bit of a hindrance.
"What do you want to buy?" Ying Zheng asked again.
Mi Dian hesitated inwardly, then tentatively raised one finger: "All of them?"
Ying Zheng pointed outside: "Get out."
"I…"
"Hey, hey, I'm leaving now, I'm leaving now."
Li Si kept his head down, grabbed Mi Dian, and obediently rejoined the queue.
The man behind Mi Dian and Li Si stared in disbelief. "Wow!" he exclaimed. He looked at Ying Zheng as if he were a god, and shouted at the top of his lungs, "The shopkeeper is so kind! He's so considerate of those of us in line. I won't buy too much, two portions are enough. I'll bring one more for my wife when I visit my sister-in-law today!"
"I want this shopkeeper to install it for me! I'll pay an extra dollar!" he declared confidently.
Mi Dian, who was in line, was about to jump up in anger. If Li Si hadn't covered her mouth in time, Mi Dian might have cursed even more rudely.
Ying Zheng found it quite amusing, and as instructed, he packed it up, wrapped it up, tied it with hemp rope, and handed it to him, saying, "Come again next time."
"Of course, of course." The man smiled and left with his things, spitting at Mi Dian as he passed by.
Mi Dian rolled her eyes in anger, "You...you're cursed by the gods and demons!"
The man turned around and swore several times, mocking Mi Dian for not even knowing how to swear.
Mi Dian's eyes widened in disbelief, and he was completely speechless, enduring the scolding.
Li Si comforted him, saying, "Ignorance is no excuse, ignorance is no excuse. How would people know you are Lord Changwen? They'd probably think you're a selfish person."
"So it's okay to curse like that?" Mi Dian's face turned red and her neck thickened.
After much persuasion, it was finally their turn to get in line again. This time, Mi Dian behaved himself and bought two bottles of perfume and a packet of flower tea. After thinking for a moment, he said, "I'll come again next time."
Ying Zheng raised an eyebrow: "You still want me to serve you?"
No, no, no, no!
The two walked away hand in hand, and Banban clicked his tongue in admiration, "I hope you didn't frighten Lord Changwen today."
Ying Zheng shook his head, "I think he's been ravaged by the scolding."
The people of Qin were not ones to admit defeat. If everyone were equal, why should I be inferior to you? Therefore, the man was quick-witted and, fearing someone would report him to the authorities, he ran away after he finished cursing.
Unable to win an argument against a mere commoner, Mi Dian was bound to be depressed for quite some time.
As a result, similar situations to those of Mi Dian occurred several times in the following period, and Ying Zheng only then realized that so many officials would patronize Ji Changyue's shop.
What Banban was thinking was that the two of them had pretended to be Ji Changyue's elder brother and sister-in-law today, and no one had noticed anything wrong with it. Ji Changyue was indeed beautiful and young, but Ying Zheng didn't look like her brother.
The key point is that he seems to have tacitly agreed.
When she first arrived, Ying Zhao immediately addressed her as "sister-in-law," which delighted Ji Changyue. Ying Zheng's face darkened for a moment, but he had no choice but to accept it.
A perfectly healthy mother and child have become siblings.
"This shows that there were very few people who actually knew what the King of Qin looked like."
"The outside world's opinions have long since turned it into something demonic and monstrous." Ying Zheng shook his head repeatedly when he mentioned this.
Banban said, “Some say that your cousin is lame, apparently because your coming-of-age ceremony was postponed, and that's why he's being suspected of it; others say that you have heterochromia, meaning that your two eyes are different colors.”
Ying Zheng chuckled, neither confirming nor denying, but instead leaned down to let her see clearly, "Cousin, what do you think of my eyes?"
Like jet-black glass, refracting sunlight to reveal a faint orange-red hue, even with his imposing and tall stature, his eyes were exceptionally beautiful.
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Author's note: Here we go, the extra chapter should be at 11 PM.
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