Chapter 302: "Rin, I'm so sad"
Saya tilted her head, seemingly unable to understand the meaning of his words.
The heavy rain soaked her long golden hair, even her delicate hair accessories were tilted to the side, and her dress stuck to her body wetly.
She squatted down and spoke softly.
"Rin," she said, "Do you know? When I heard from Laerya that you wanted to kill me, I was really sad, very sad..."
"Saya." Su Mingan said, "You know what? When I saw you carrying Naraku onto the rooftop from here, I was also really disappointed. Very disappointed."
"Disappointed?" Saya's voice trembled: "Are you disappointed that I am a soul clan member? Is it because of this fact that you are disappointed? Disappointed with my identity?"
"You shouldn't be a soul clan."
“Yes, I shouldn’t be.” Saya’s face was covered with tears. “I am obviously just an ordinary human… But from the day I was successfully transformed, I knew that if I didn’t control Grandpa Valen and the soul hunters on the ship in time, what awaited me would be the most desperate ending.”
She lowered her head, her hair sticking to her face. "...I can't just sit there and wait to die, I can't wait to be tested, I can't...I can't let hunger dominate my desires. Lin...Su Lin! I don't want to be killed, so I can only take the initiative...This is the survival rule of the Soul Clan. Do you understand, Su Lin? As an ordinary human being, as a being with the happiest identity, as a human being who doesn't have to worry about being discovered...Can you understand the feeling of surviving in this gap?"
The surging emotions in her body mixed with the sea breeze and fell to the ground along with the cold raindrops.
Su Mingan looked at her without saying anything.
This young lady who was dignified and cheerful when they first met, this girl with beautiful and bright hair like the sun, now had her hair disheveled and her eyes red in the heavy rain, and was roaring at him like a madman.
"——Rin. Do you know that feeling? On weekdays, I really think I am a human being, but on some nights, when I suddenly feel hungry, I will suddenly realize that I have turned into a monster completely different from before..." She raised her hands, blood-red nails extending from her fingertips, her eyes were extremely desperate: "I have no choice... I have no choice! I can only attack my dear grandfather, I can only make him become my most loyal guard, I can only... find an opportunity to board this Ater, hoping to find a living space for myself..."
As she spoke, she suddenly slammed her hand on the ground.
“Bang!”
There was a loud bang.
The hand of the young lady, who looked extremely fragile, as if she had never touched the water of spring, caused the ground to suddenly sink when she clapped her hands.
"You, did you see that? Rin." Saya stared at him: "I have turned into a monster. There is no way back. I can only, I can only..."
As she spoke, her nails began to rub against the ground unconsciously, repeating the mechanical motions as if she were mutilating herself, and her fingertips gradually bled.
The nails broke and blood oozed out, then the wounds began to heal and the nails grew again... She kept rubbing the ground as if she was not afraid of the pain, breaking her own nails and watching them grow back slowly.
"Does Valen know that he has been transformed into a soul clan?" Su Ming'an suddenly spoke after a period of silence.
Saya looked up suddenly, staring at him with bloodshot eyes: "...I don't know."
She whispered, "This is also the reason for my despair... I didn't even know I was from the Soul Clan. Only at this damn moment... when I started to feel hungry, I had no control over myself. I would suddenly realize my damn identity, as if a disaster had suddenly struck..."
"Saya, believe me, it's not the worst yet." Su Ming'an looked at her: "Since you are not born a soul race, this transformation must have its flaws. I have never heard of the soul race being able to transform from humans before, which means that its technology must be immature, otherwise the At Empire would have long been reduced to a paradise for the soul race."
Hearing his words, Saya was slightly stunned.
"Saya, who is the person who converted you?" Su Mingan said, "As long as we find him, we will definitely be able to find a way to restore you to normal."
Saya stared at him.
Her blood-red eyes were staring at him silently, with extremely complicated emotions in them.
"You just said you were going to kill me," she said softly.
"You are not the perpetrator, but the victim." Su Mingan said, "You are not born a soul race, but a normal human being transformed by others. You should be the one who is saved, not the one who is hated. I suddenly realized this."
"...Are you not disappointed?"
“Not disappointed.”
"...You don't hate me?"
"No."
There was a gleam of light in Saya's eyes.
She said, "I...actually I can't remember clearly."
Su Mingan was slightly stunned.
"Some of my memories will only be awakened when I encounter certain specific situations." She said softly, "For example, only when I am hungry will I find out that I am a soul clan. I have memories of doing evil as a soul clan member... and when I return to normal, I really think that I am just an ordinary human... The same goes for the memories related to the transformer. I will only remember who he is when I see him again..."
"But I remember..." She paused, and then continued, "He had... jet-black hair, and a pair of dark blood-red eyes that were different from those of ordinary souls. He asked me to meet him at the manor, and suddenly attacked me, transforming me... turning me from a human into this abominable appearance..."
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