Somewhere in my heart
"Mr. Zhou, where are you going to have fun today?"
Zhou Ji was used to being teased like this, and tilted his head to continue working on chemistry problems on the draft paper.
"Stop studying, you're not taking the college entrance exam anyway."
Their words were filled with undisguised envy.
Perhaps for most people, at the age of seventeen or eighteen, no one would like the monotonous life of high school, and Zhou Ji was no exception.
But this also means that Zhou Ji's student days have come to an end, much earlier than his peers, which will definitely make him feel reluctant.
But because of one person, Zhou Ji was even more reluctant to give up.
The pen stopped on the draft paper. Zhou Ji had no ideas. Frustrated, he scratched his head and simply threw the pen away, no longer writing. He lay on the table and stared blankly at the empty seat a few rows away from him.
He couldn't bear to part with it.
Meng Qinghe hasn't been to school for a long time, and it's safe to say she won't be coming back.
Meng Qinghe applied for an exchange program in the United States during her second year of high school and ultimately won one of only two spots in the entire school with her outstanding grades.
On the day she was to leave, Meng Qinghe packed her luggage in the dormitory and said goodbye to her classmates.
The students were all envious, and a little jealous, but they all thought that Meng Qinghe deserved to get the exchange student spot.
When she reached Zhou Ji, Meng Qinghe tidied her stray hairs and said, "I'm leaving now, Zhou Ji."
Zhou Ji didn't look at her, continuing to read his extracurricular book with his head down: "Yeah, I knew you would succeed, you're really amazing."
"Thank you, you're amazing too. There's still time, keep up the good work."
The two didn't say anything else, and even now, thinking back on what they said, it all seems a bit strange.
The car arranged by the school was still parked at the school gate. Although there were only two people in the car, there were other teachers with them.
At the last second before boarding the bus, Meng Qinghe turned her head and glanced back.
She saw a tall, thin figure staring in her direction from the corridor of the teaching building, but they were too far apart, and no matter how hard she tried to shout, the other person couldn't hear her.
That's how the two of them met for the last time during their high school years.
After Meng Qinghe left, Zhou Ji spent most of his time staring blankly at her seat. At that time, the class changed seats every two weeks, and every time the seats were changed, Zhou Ji would move Meng Qinghe's seat, which still contained some books and test papers that he hadn't taken.
Once, when they were moving seats, a scrap paper accidentally fell out. Zhou Ji squatted down to pick it up and inadvertently saw a note written on a page by Meng Qinghe and her deskmate.
"If you leave, are you never going to come back?"
"It depends on the situation. It's possible that they will take the college entrance examination there."
"Oh, did you tell Zhou Ji?"
Half a sentence was crossed out in the middle. Zhou Ji carefully identified it as "Why should I tell him?", then crossed it out again and rewrote "We'll talk about it later."
Meng Qinghe had not told Zhou Ji, and Zhou Ji did not believe she would come back, because he believed that she was capable of living well abroad.
She is an untamed bird, stubborn and persistent, yearning to soar towards freedom.
He still remembers the first time he met Meng Qinghe was at the beginning of the first year of junior high school.
On the first day of school, before the school uniforms were issued, Meng Qinghe wore a white cotton dress and her hair was neatly tied in a high ponytail, forming a stark contrast with the silly little boy standing next to her who was making jokes and acting unserious.
One of them called out to Zhou Ji, the son of Uncle Wang, their neighbor. The two had known each other since summer camp. Zhou Ji turned around and saw Meng Qinghe in the corner at that moment.
After school started, everyone had a great time in the new environment with new classmates.
At that time, Zhou Ji probably didn't understand why he would pay attention to this quiet girl in the class who seemed to have no temper. Every time he saw her, she was sitting upright in her seat, either burying her head in her homework or staring at the blackboard without moving.
At the age of twelve or thirteen, before she had even begun to experience romantic feelings, the word "like" seemed like a terrible sin. But among the boys, everyone knew that Meng Qinghe was a bit special.
Like most boys, Zhou Ji often played basketball, and occasionally glanced at Meng Qinghe when he looked up or passed by.
The two of them didn't talk much, and they never sat close to each other.
Meng Qinghe was the class monitor and subject representative for many subjects, handpicked by the teacher. The students couldn't remember the specifics, but everyone's homework was handed to her. Even if it was handed to the wrong person, Meng Qinghe would never get angry. She would just smile and hand the homework to the correct student.
But Zhou Ji did remember, though he always mischievously handed his homework to Meng Qinghe's seat back then.
"Hey, Meng Qinghe, I'm here to hand in my homework."
"Okay, I'll give it to Zheng Min for you."
...
Submitting assignments became the topic of conversation between the two of them.
Zhou Ji didn't know why Meng Qinghe had such a good temper. If it were him, he would have lost his temper many times over.
However, Meng Qinghe was an exception on one occasion.
Once, when handing in his homework, Zhou Ji had a sudden urge to talk to Meng Qinghe. Instead of handing over his homework properly, he went over and tugged at Meng Qinghe's ponytail, who was still sleeping.
Meng Qinghe turned her head and asked softly, "What's wrong? Are you handing in your homework?"
It was only for a moment, but Zhou Ji still saw it.
When she looked up, Meng Qinghe was clearly frowning, but when she turned back, her temper disappeared, and she carefully put away Zhou Ji's homework.
After that, Zhou Ji didn't do that again. Even though he still wanted to have some conversations with Meng Qinghe, he no longer deliberately provoked her.
The two of them remained distant like this until the third year of junior high school.
A guy in the class got into trouble, and a group of people, without even trying to avoid the teacher, came to confront him right there in the classroom.
A group of students from the next class were arguing with "Brother Social" by the podium. Right in front of them was Meng Qinghe's seat. She was engrossed in her homework, oblivious to everything around her, and only snapped out of her daze when someone slapped her seat repeatedly.
At that time, Zhou Ji had just returned from playing basketball. There were many people standing outside the window who had come to watch the excitement. Zhou Ji was wondering what was going on when he entered the room and saw Meng Qinghe sitting in her seat, trembling with fear.
Everyone's eyes were on the group of people on the podium and the tough guy in the class; no one noticed Meng Qinghe in the corner.
"Stop talking nonsense!"
Slap slap slap, another round of frantic slapping.
Before the gangster could speak, Zhou Ji, who was standing next to him, couldn't hold back any longer.
"You can't speak without slamming your fist on the table, huh?!"
Zhou Ji walked over to Meng Qinghe in a few steps and pulled her up, saying, "Apologize to her."
Everyone knew that Zhou Ji's family had some connections. Although they had never seen him fight, it would still be troublesome to investigate the matter later, so everyone was still a little scared.
The crowd stirred, and then Zhou Ji suddenly appeared in the middle, making the scene lively again. Someone noticed something was wrong and secretly reported it to the teacher.
Only Meng Qinghe was in the middle, tugging at Zhou Ji's sleeve and telling him not to pursue these matters any further.
The students from the next class were definitely unwilling to apologize, but they didn't refuse either, so they just kept at it. Zhou Ji pulled Meng Qinghe aside and told her to go find the teacher. Meng Qinghe had only taken a few steps out the door when she heard a fight starting behind her.
It was Zhou Ji who started it. So, instead of asking me to call the teacher to resolve the issue, he was just trying to get me away so he could fight!
Meng Qinghe was terrified by the scene. She stood at the door, unable to squeeze in, and tears kept falling.
However, the teacher arrived shortly afterward, and in the end, all three parties went to the teacher's office together.
The homeroom teacher pointed at Zhou Ji's forehead, almost poking a hole in it: "Why are you so nosy?! What's it to you?!"
...
No matter what the teacher said, Zhou Ji stood still, unmoved.
When school was over, Meng Qinghe was still in a daze, her eyes red as she came to find Zhou Ji: "You said... that I should go find the teacher. I thought you were asking the teacher to come and solve the problem. But you just went ahead and did it yourself. The teacher would have caught you when he came over."
"I'm not afraid. I asked you to find a teacher so that the kid in the next class could stay alive."
This made Meng Qinghe laugh out loud: "Then I'm sorry, I didn't go to see the teacher..."
Zhou Ji was definitely not angry, because the main reason he sent Meng Qinghe to find the teacher was to get her away from him.
That day, the two talked a lot.
After this incident, everyone in the class knew that Zhou Ji seemed to have a special feeling for Meng Qinghe. If there were boys deliberately hanging around in front of Meng Qinghe before, after this incident everyone knew that Meng Qinghe had Zhou Ji protecting her. In the end, she had a peaceful junior high school year and successfully got into the provincial key high school.
When exactly did Zhou Ji realize he had fallen for Meng Qinghe, it was probably during the summer vacation after the high school entrance exam. During those three months of not seeing each other, Zhou Ji experienced the feeling of missing someone for the first time.
During those three months, Zhou Ji considered asking her out, but later learned that she had returned to her hometown. He endured those three months by sheer willpower.
The No. 1 High School in the province does not divide students into classes based on their grades. Although there are differences in grades, those who can get into the No. 1 High School in the province are definitely good at studying.
They were lucky enough to be assigned to the same class.
On the first day of school, Meng Qinghe took the initiative to greet Zhou Ji. Zhou Ji nodded in a perfunctory manner, but afterwards, his mouth was already stretched to his ears in a wide grin.
At first, there was some unrest in the class and even the whole school, with people coming over every now and then to ask for Meng Qinghe's contact information.
Actually, she wasn't considered exceptionally beautiful. Most people thought Meng Qinghe was easy to manipulate, which is why they came over wanting to pursue her for fun.
However, everyone stopped at the very first step because Meng Qinghe said she didn't have a cell phone and couldn't make calls or reply to messages.
Zhou Ji almost burst out laughing when he heard the two girls next to him gossiping.
But thinking about it carefully, the incident with the "gangster" happened back in junior high school. After that, no one bothered Meng Qinghe much. Now that they're in high school, not many of them got into the top provincial schools, so there are still many things that people don't know. That's why so many arrogant people dare to come and cause trouble.
So later, whenever someone owed Zhou Ji a favor and asked how to make it up, Zhou Ji would say, "Remember to tell everyone not to try anything with the girl in our class who gets the best grades, the one who always comes in first place."
They were asserting their sovereignty over the open and covert, but after that, no one really came looking for Meng Qinghe anymore.
Zhou Ji and Meng Qinghe were already considered a couple by everyone in the class, but because one was focused solely on studying and the other was a bit intimidating, they only discussed it privately at most.
Meng Qinghe's family was actually not well-off, in fact, quite poor.
She lived in the countryside with her grandparents when she was little, while her parents worked in the city. Later, her parents divorced, and they never told Meng Qinghe the reason. She didn't want to know. Her mother found another uncle in the city and brought Meng Qinghe to the city to study.
At that time, Meng Qinghe had just transferred to the school and felt somewhat out of place amidst the neon lights of the city.
Fortunately, she had excellent grades and was always first in her school.
In the end, she was admitted to a provincial key high school. Some girls in high school had already started using face cream and lipstick, but Meng Qinghe rarely came into contact with cosmetics. In addition, she lived in a dormitory and didn't know much about electronic products.
Whenever her classmates talked about the latest TV dramas and celebrities, Meng Qinghe would sit by, engrossed in her homework.
She had no one to talk to at school, except for Zhou Ji, who would occasionally come over to ask her questions and invite her to watch him play basketball. However, she only went once. He was indeed very good; dunking, layups, and other moves were all within his capabilities.
Over time, the two of them would start joking around, eating together, and going home together.
In fact, Meng Qinghe knew that she had already become deeply involved.
Everyone knew that Zhou Ji's family was extraordinary, but at that time Meng Qinghe had nothing. She even needed the support of a stranger to study in the city, so she certainly wouldn't continue like this forever.
She wanted to leave, to go to a higher place, but because of Zhou Ji, she became even more determined; she wanted to reach the same heights as Zhou Ji.
So she studied hard and successfully applied for an exchange student program abroad in her second year of high school.
However, another undeniable fact was that she was going to be separated from Zhou Ji. Meng Qinghe didn't know how long they would be separated, and she didn't even dare to mention it to Zhou Ji.
But at that time, her name was prominently displayed on the honor roll, and everyone in the entire school knew it.
At that time, Zhou Ji had just finished playing basketball in PE class and stood panting in front of Meng Qinghe. He questioned her a couple of times, and then smiled and encouraged her to keep going.
At that time, Meng Qinghe didn't even have the courage to look up. It wasn't until Zhou Ji left that Meng Qinghe looked up and saw the sun that was blocked when Zhou Ji was standing.
Meng Qinghe had the courage to look directly at the sun, but she dared not look directly at him.
Is it because it's more dazzling than the sun? Perhaps.
There is a time difference of more than ten hours between the United States and here, and Meng Qinghe was busy with her studies and various scholarship applications, so the two rarely contacted each other anymore.
One late night in America, Meng Qinghe suddenly remembered her deskmate asking her on a draft paper if she would come back. Meng Qinghe said she didn't know.
She genuinely didn't know. She wanted to come back because there were people she cared about here, but if she wanted to climb higher, developing her career abroad would be a more direct and efficient option for her.
When they parted, she didn't ask him to wait. Asking him to wait would be irresponsible and put too much pressure on her. No one could predict the future; she wasn't sure if she could live well abroad, nor was she sure if Zhou Ji's situation would change…
So at that time, she thought she should just let things take their course.
However, Meng Qinghe eventually returned to China to take the college entrance examination. She actually wanted to meet Zhou Ji, but she didn't get to.
I learned from his classmates that he would not be continuing his studies, and his family had already made arrangements for him.
It seems that their relationship can only go this far.
Meng Qinghe began working on studying abroad again, with various exams and application materials making her dizzy.
The college entrance examination arrived as scheduled, and after the results were released, Meng Qinghe boarded a flight to go abroad.
After getting off the plane, Meng Qinghe was somewhat surprised to see more than twenty missed calls on her phone.
But Meng Qinghe had already guessed what was going on. The call was quickly connected, and she hadn't heard Zhou Ji's voice in a long time.
"Meng Qinghe, what's wrong with you? Why didn't you say anything when you came back? What were you thinking? Where are you now? Why aren't you saying anything? What are you trying to do?"
This was the first time Zhou Ji had lost his temper in front of Meng Qinghe. Zhou Ji had said more than once that she had a good temper, but in her eyes, Zhou Ji had never lost his temper.
But this time Zhou Ji was really angry.
"I just got off the plane."
"……where?"
"Switzerland."
"Studying abroad? Which school? Have you decided? Have you prepared all the necessary paperwork?"
Having asked so many questions, it seemed less important. After a moment of silence, Zhou Ji asked again, "...Why did you return to China this time?"
"It's nothing, I just wanted to come back and visit, after all, I've lived here for so long. I heard you're not planning to continue your studies, that's good, there's no such thing as a path of education for everyone."
"Why didn't you tell me you were coming back? Now you insist on going abroad? You can get into a good university in China too—"
"People don't necessarily have to take the path of studying, but it's the only path I can take. Studying abroad will definitely be more helpful for my development."
...
The two then parted ways.
The phone call didn't change anything; the two continued studying and working according to their original plans.
Over the course of four years, her university was separated from China by the vast Eurasian continent, equivalent to one-fifth of the Earth's equator, with a seven-hour time difference, and round-trip flights took almost a day.
One night after a meeting, Zhou Ji encountered Xu Li, who was sheltering from the rain under the eaves. One of the main reasons he saw Xu Li was that she looked very much like Meng Qinghe.
Therefore, Zhou Ji took in Xu Li and was willing to let her work under him. He was willing to help a complete stranger with no known background simply because she looked somewhat like Meng Qinghe.
At first, when Zhou Ji looked at Xu Li, he would often think about what Meng Qinghe was doing on the other side of the mainland.
Both of them possessed a stubbornness that said, "My heart is not a stone, it cannot be turned; my heart is not a mat, it cannot be rolled up." They were both very persistent in their convictions.
But no two leaves in the world are the same. After getting to know Xu Liyue better, Zhou Jiyue found that the two were very different, but Zhou Jiyue never forgot why he could notice a girl with her clothes soaked under the eaves with just a quick glance out the window in the rain.
There is no other reason.
Whenever Zhou Ji thought about how far away he was from Meng Qinghe, he would often worry about whether Meng Qinghe could adapt to life there. Later, he realized that she had lived abroad for a year during high school and was much more independent than he had imagined.
Seeing her progress step by step to a better future, Zhou Ji was genuinely happy for her.
At that time, Zhou Ji had just taken over many things and needed to integrate into the group as soon as possible. The various interpersonal relationships and social interactions made Zhou Ji feel a little overwhelmed.
One night, he drank countless bottles of alcohol, and each time he thought of Meng Qinghe. The next day, after sobering up, he looked at his plane ticket to Switzerland with a sense of helplessness.
Until one flight was delayed, it seemed like a stroke of luck that Zhou Ji finally made a decision and flew to the place he had thought about countless times.
The school was very large, and Zhou Ji didn't know Meng Qinghe's living habits, so he stood by the school gate and waited. Many people came and went, but none of them were the people he wanted to see.
Such a sudden decision meant that he might not actually get to see Meng Qinghe. Zhou Ji waited until almost 11 p.m. before finally meeting her.
She was wearing a brownish-yellow coat and looked somewhat tired. Zhou Ji didn't approach her, but watched her enter the dormitory building from a distance, because he didn't know whether meeting her there would be a pleasant surprise or a shock for her.
Afterwards, Zhou Ji went to the supermarket alone and bought a lot of things for Meng Qinghe. He then used a friend's phone to send Meng Qinghe a text message about ordering takeout.
After that, Zhou Jifei flew to Switzerland many times, but he couldn't see Meng Qinghe every time.
Actually, if Zhou Ji hadn't met Meng Qinghe the first time he came, he probably wouldn't have come back. But he did meet her anyway.
Many things may just be fate.
When he couldn't see Meng Qinghe, Zhou Ji would go to the convenience store where Meng Qinghe often bought things and sit there. If he wanted to smoke, he would go to the bench outside and sit there for an entire afternoon.
It wasn't until three years after they separated that they met for the first time in Switzerland, and Meng Qinghe recognized him from behind.
After three years apart, the two looked at each other with some surprise.
It was on that occasion that Zhou Ji saw the person she seemed to be dating.
The two of them were sharing an umbrella, and the other person thoughtfully escorted her home; it was truly heartwarming.
Zhou Ji declined Meng Qinghe's invitation to dinner, only saying in a hurry that he was there on a business trip and had to return to China.
Every time Zhou Ji goes to Switzerland, he ends up in a very messy state because he doesn't get much rest due to jet lag.
That car accident happened on the way back from the airport.
When the car accident happened, Zhou Ji's mind went blank, and the first person he thought of was Meng Qinghe.
Zhou Ji sometimes hated himself for being so fixated on one person, for not being able to forget her. Every time he made up his mind, he would only be met with a sudden, overwhelming longing.
Forgetting someone is not as easy as you might imagine; the more you try to forget, the harder it is to forget.
After receiving Meng Qinghe's letter, Zhou Ji read it repeatedly. Whenever he missed her, he would read it to ease his longing for her. As a result, he went to Switzerland much less often after that.
He knew that he was quite irresponsible every time he went there before, but none of his subordinates said anything.
In the letter, Meng Qinghe learned that Zhou Ji had been in a car accident and said that she wanted to return to China, but her flight was canceled. Zhou Ji was somewhat relieved that she hadn't seen him covered in blood.
Meng Qinghe talked a lot, recounting how they first met in the first year of junior high, and how they were lucky enough to be in the same class in high school. This was their tenth year of knowing each other. She felt incredibly fortunate to have met him during her youth, and even though they couldn't keep in touch often now, she still found her youth unforgettable. Because of him, she wanted to work harder and become a better person, so she resolutely applied for an exchange program. During those lonely days abroad, it was the help she received that gave her the motivation to persevere.
The letter also said that people are always different. In high school, she thought that she could overcome many insurmountable obstacles through hard work. It wasn't until she entered society that she realized how naive her thoughts had been. It wasn't that she was unwilling to believe and work hard, but that some things cannot be achieved by hard work alone. She has her own pursuits, and she has climbed to where she is today step by step. Rather than relying on others, she would choose to be herself first...
Zhou Ji had always understood and supported her choices, but now that he was no longer a part of her life, a bitter feeling welled up inside him.
Seeing this, Zhou Ji understood. He understood Meng Qinghe's decision to give up, and he knew that both of them had tried their best. Even though the feelings they had kept hidden in their hearts were never spoken, they both understood each other's feelings.
At first, it was Zhou Ji who first noticed the timid Meng Qinghe in the corner. He childishly tried to attract her attention, and Meng Qinghe also tried hard to keep up with him. But the older they got, the more they realized how difficult it was. In this insurmountable class divide, their feelings were sacrificed.
Zhou Ji recalled that one afternoon in high school, he woke up to the sound of Meng Qinghe reciting English. The sunlight shone on her small back, and Zhou Ji squinted and suddenly made a decision: his future must include Meng Qinghe.
But who can predict the future? Back then, he was full of youthful vigor, thinking about the future, but now he is reading her letter and weeping uncontrollably.
The decision made in high school may not actually come true, but for Zhou Ji, it will be a lifelong matter, even though Meng Qinghe has already let go.
Their lives will continue, and they will meet many more people along the way.
Some will move on to a new stage in their lives, while others will remain stuck in the same place.
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