parting
On the night she decided to leave, Xu Li edited a text message.
Back then, Zhou Ji asked her on the phone what her thoughts and plans were. At that time, her mind went blank and she was unwilling to face it. But now that she has decided to leave, Xu Li needs to inform Zhou Ji, both emotionally and logically.
It was a long, flowing passage. Originally, Xu Li didn't want it to be like this, because it seemed like it would really never come back. But once she started thinking about it, she couldn't stop.
The text message read:
Hello, Zhou Ji.
Seeing these words is like seeing the person in person.
I'm so sorry for causing you so much trouble lately. Things happened so suddenly that even I was surprised, so I haven't had time to properly say goodbye and thank you.
Actually, if you wanted to know, you could probably find out the general outline, but based on my understanding of you, you wouldn't do that.
I'm so grateful to have met you, my boss, in Yangzhou. I remember the first time we met was on a rainy night. I had just arrived in Yangzhou and was soaked to the bone. To this day, I still don't know why you stopped in front of me and took me to Tian Guang Hall. It's funny to think about it now. Why did I go with you without any suspicion? But at that time, I had no choice. I was so lucky to have met you.
Later, I stayed at Tianguang Hall. I understood in high school that it wasn't easy for a person to be in society, especially in a place like a billiards bar. So I also know that all of this is thanks to your care. Therefore, I am truly grateful to you. Thank you for meeting me in Yangzhou, and thank you for taking care of me in Yangzhou.
I've always felt that you have a calm and composed demeanor that no one can surpass, at least in my eyes. This may be related to the environment you grew up in; after all, you are not like ordinary people like us.
My father is a policeman, and from his contact with
In my cases, I've encountered all sorts of people. Some are scheming and deceitful in officialdom, some are blinded by the world of interests, and some gradually fall into the abyss... But you are not like that and will not be either. You have a detached view of the world, an absolute leadership that inspires confidence, and the ability to gladly accept the calm after the storm. I believe that you will definitely achieve great things in the future.
Actually, from the moment I arrived in Yangzhou, I knew I would have to leave one day. But what happened next was something no one could have predicted. I actually found myself somewhat reluctant to leave this place...
I've always remembered what you said about not leaving without saying goodbye. I don't quite understand why you're so insistent on this. Maybe it's related to your experiences, but that's your business, and I don't feel comfortable asking too much.
However, this did remind me that I had been avoiding the topic of parting, not knowing how to bring it up or how to accept it. Now, I have finally made the decision.
This day was bound to come sooner or later.
But I don't know when I'll be able to return.
Perhaps I still have the courage and opportunity to come back, or perhaps I don't. Both are indispensable, so I don't know when I will be able to set foot on this land again.
The matter is very complicated, and I haven't even told Zhou Junchang about it, so please forgive me for not being able to tell you either.
There's really no need to say more. Although I haven't been exposed to much of the social dynamics, I can sense that you're one of the few bosses who treats his subordinates like brothers, and you don't act arrogantly when working under you.
So if I were to say something like "Please take good care of Zhou Junchang," it would seem redundant. But if possible, I would still like to ask for your help. After I leave, please keep an eye on Zhou Junchang's situation. This is the only thing I want to ask of you.
Zhou Junchang isn't as composed as he usually appears. He's actually a bit extreme and pessimistic. He might seem indifferent to many things, but that doesn't mean he's truly cold-hearted. He tends to think things in a pessimistic direction and then gets stuck in that mindset. So I was thinking that if I leave and he gets stuck in a dead end, the only thing he might listen to is what you say. At that point, I'll need your help to guide him.
Finally, I would like to express my gratitude to you again, both for your time in Yangzhou and for the things that happened to Zhou Junchang after I left.
And we will meet again someday!
After sending the message, Xu Li pressed the power button on her phone.
Xu Li did not write to Zhou Junchang because it was more appropriate for them to meet, just as Zhou Ji had always said, "Don't leave without saying goodbye."
They definitely need a formal farewell.
The next day, Xu Li packed her luggage and then called Zhou Junchang.
The call was answered almost instantly, with a "hello" coming from the other end.
Xu Li cut to the chase: "Zhou Junchang, are you coming to see me off?"
It was quiet over there; there was no response.
Xu Li smiled and said, "Come and see me off, I'll wait for you."
"……good."
Zhou Junchang didn't know whether he should hurry or slow down. He wanted to take one more look at Xu Li, but that would mean they would separate sooner. If he slowed down, Xu Li wouldn't be in front of him.
The moment Zhou Junchang answered the phone, he seemed to have a premonition.
The day of parting has arrived.
However, he was unwilling to accept it and still harbored a sliver of hope.
When Xu Li said it, Zhou Junchang felt as if his heart stopped for a moment.
This is a fact that we have to face.
Afterwards, Zhou Junchang always remembered the scene of parting at the train station.
Xu Li stood in the wind, which blew her long hair up and down in the air. In a daze, Zhou Junchang seemed to see Xu Li drunk that night again.
Because of that night, Zhou Junchang slowly began to notice Xu Li.
Zhou Junchang walked heavily towards Xu Li, step by step.
Zhou Junchang asked with a slight smile, "Are you leaving?"
"Um."
"good."
“Zhou Junchang, actually, I knew a long, long time ago that I would one day leave Yangcheng, that my time here was running out, but I really didn’t expect it to come so soon… This day has come so quickly… There are so many things… that I haven’t had a chance to tell you…”
The second half of his sentence was spoken haltingly, and he almost lost control of his emotions.
Admittedly, even with preparations, when looking at each other, emotions still overwhelmed us like a raging flood.
Zhou Junchang recalled the scene of the two of them making a wish under the dazzling fireworks.
At that time, even though Zhou Junchang did not believe in the symbolic meaning of making wishes, he still made a wish, hoping that there would be many more New Years like this, and hoping that the scene in front of him could become eternal.
How they wish that this time next year, we could still be standing here, no longer needing to rely on fragments of memories for warmth.
However, neither of them revealed their wishes, and because of this, neither of them will ever know that the other's wishes actually included themselves.
At that time, Xu Li must have known that there would come a day when she would have to leave.
But that very night, the two of them had just hung up the red lanterns together, made a wish together, and stood shoulder to shoulder to welcome the new year.
What was Xu Li thinking at that time?
Zhou Junchang actually knew very little about Xu Li's situation; he had repeatedly reviewed many possibilities.
Could it be related to Xu Zhengbei?
However, that was a painful memory for Xu Li, and Zhou Junchang was unwilling to mention it again. He didn't want Xu Li to be sad anymore. He could pretend he knew nothing, but he didn't want Xu Li to be upset again.
In the end, Zhou Jun always lost.
He trusted Xu Li, and that was enough.
He believed that Xu Li would return one day.
He has always believed it.
"Zhou Junchang, are you scared?" The same question came out of her mouth again, as if pulling the two of them back to that night in the bar.
Zhou Jun often looked into Xu Li's eyes. That night she was powerless and confused, but now she was stubborn and clear-headed.
Back then, Xu Li simply wanted to ask him if he had ever been afraid. Now, Xu Li wants to ask him if he is afraid of someone leaving, and if he is afraid of the unknown future.
They stared at each other quietly, neither of them looking away, and the surrounding crowd did not disturb them in the slightest.
"Xu Li, do you regret it?" The question startled both of them.
The tone of voice suggested that they were trying to hold onto something.
He asked if I regretted it. Regretted what?
Do I regret meeting you? Do I regret coming here? And do I regret leaving now?
Neither of them answered, but they already knew the answer in their hearts.
As Xu Li gazed into Zhou Jun's often-illuminated eyes, a word suddenly came to mind: "redemption."
It turns out that redemption is never about one person pulling the other out of the mire, but rather about two people who were once covered in wounds, each carrying their own shadows as they move forward, only to discover at some point that someone else is also trying to become a better version of themselves, just like them.
The questions asked will have no answers, and the story will have no sequel.
The airplane streaked across the sky, separating two worlds and two stars.
People dispersed, that's all.
Everything seemed like a dream, sometimes ethereal, sometimes incredibly real.
Everything exists only in the mind, only in the countless moments that someone will remember in the future.
I don't tell outsiders, I only think about it in my heart. The past is like fleeting clouds, something to remember but not to hold onto.
The wind also blows up fallen leaves, and in a daze, it seems that one of them has fallen into the late autumn of my memory.
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