A broken mirror is hard to mend
If you really want to save the relationship, why don't you take action earlier?
Why did she have to wait until her love and hate had been entangled and rolled back and forth countless times in her heart...
When those intense emotions finally began to subside, revealing a tired undertone...
When she was almost learning how to breathe again in a world without this person...
Only then did you reach out your hand belatedly?
Zhou Jianxing walked out of Wen Lingyi's villa, and the door closed behind him with a dull sound.
Walk out along the neat driveway and around the circular fountain in the center.
The pool was already very shallow, probably because the water supply was reduced during the winter. The calm surface of the water was like a dim mirror, reflecting her expressionless face and the gray sky above.
It was strange that there were no tears in that reflection.
She is obviously a person who cries easily. Her eyes will quickly turn red if she feels a little wronged, a little touched, or even watches a slightly sentimental movie.
Or is there actually a quota for the amount of tears one person can shed for another person?
Once the blood dries up, the heart will dry up with it.
The heating in Wen Lingyi's house was turned on too high, and she was wearing that thick fleece work jacket the whole time, so a thin layer of sweat had already formed inside.
At this moment, blown by the howling north wind outside, the sweat quickly turned cold and stuck to the skin. The coldness was like fine needles, drilling into the gaps between the bones.
A withered yellow sycamore leaf swirled down and landed squarely on her shoulder.
She stopped and picked up the leaf between her fingers.
The leaf's veins were distinct, its edges curled and brittle, bearing the marks of a life reaching its end. She placed it in her palm and looked down at it for a long time.
What is she thinking about?
Perhaps he was thinking that life is full of regrets of missing out on the best blooms.
It seemed as if she and Wen Lingyi had only spent one hasty and short summer together.
We didn't even have the time to watch the colorful fallen leaves in the autumn together, nor did we have the time to share a scarf when the winter plum blossoms bloomed in winter, nor could we walk side by side in the fine and moist rain in spring.
She had carefully described the specific shape of happiness in many early mornings when they woke up together or nights before they went to bed.
It should be trivial and everyday, like an extra set of bowls and chopsticks across the dining table, a vague good morning in your ear when you wake up, and a gentle goodnight kiss on your forehead before you go to bed.
It means that you can walk hand in hand on a street that seems to have no end in sight, without worrying about who will let go first.
However, those beautiful and warm details ultimately exist only in imagination.
They descended briefly into her reality, then twisted more abruptly than a dash.
·
Wen Lingyi was silent for two days.
There were no new repair calls and no information.
This is obviously a good thing, but Zhou Jianxing doesn't know what the empty and helpless feeling in his heart is.
When did she become so sentimental? She clearly knew better than anyone what kind of person Wen Lingyi was.
Wen Lingyi's fickleness and ambivalence are like a mark engraved in his bones.
Her emotions are a world without seasons. Sometimes they are as scorching as the scorching sun in midsummer, and sometimes they are as cold as a freezing pond in deep winter.
Everything just goes with the flow, there is no reason to ask, and no one is allowed to ask.
Such a bad woman is not worth Zhou Jianxing's time and energy to be sad about.
It was not worth it for the faintest hope in her heart, which she herself did not want to admit and was almost extinguished, to be rekindled.
·
It's Saturday again, and she doesn't need an alarm clock; her biological clock wakes her up on time.
Zhou Jianxing walked to the balcony in his slippers.
The scene on the balcony in winter is completely different from that in summer. The plants that once flourished in the summer have long lost their vitality.
The withered and black petals of the gardenia hung on the branches, the jasmine had lost even its last leaf, and the dried petals of the hydrangea rustled in the cold wind like frozen sighs.
Only the pot of honeysuckle in the corner stubbornly clung to the iron bars in the bitter cold, its dark green leaves covered with a thin layer of frost, revealing a silent tenacity.
She subconsciously took out her cell phone and wanted to take a picture. Her finger hovered on the camera button, but she felt bored because there was nothing worth recording.
In the past few months, she has been posting on WeChat Moments tirelessly, almost as if she were completing some kind of daily task.
Share breakfast, share wild cats on the roadside, share little interesting things encountered during maintenance, and share the sky and clouds.
This behavior is more like a clumsy performance than a desire to share.
Trying to prove this to someone who might never see her again, and also to herself—
You see, my life will not change because of you. I am still living a good and fulfilling life, and everything is as usual.
Is Zhou Jianxing still the same Zhou Jianxing? She sometimes asks herself this question.
·
The autumn and winter seasons in City C are usually not very cold. Most evergreen plants can still maintain their lush greenery even in late autumn and early winter. However, they lack some vitality and vigor compared to spring and summer.
So what feels desolate at this moment may not be the green of the balcony, but the red that once burned brightly in her heart.
That red, sincere heart that belongs to Zhou Jianxing.
She thought that she should still love life. Now she would carefully prepare three meals for herself, water the flowers on the balcony, and go to work on time to complete her work.
But somewhere in her heart, it always seemed like a piece had been dug out. The love and interest in life often slipped away silently from that hole, making her feel inexplicably tired from time to time.
After watering the flowers and plants on the balcony today, she did not post on WeChat Moments.
It turns out that forcing yourself to pretend that you are doing well and that nothing has happened is a very tiring thing.
·
After breaking up with Zhou Jianxing, Wen Lingyi found several new gardeners through her circle of friends.
After all, her obsessive-compulsive disorder and perfectionist tendencies are deeply ingrained, and once she sees the plants in the garden showing signs of disorder or even withering due to neglect, she becomes irritated and uncomfortable.
Before, she had seriously considered whether she should remove all the flowers and plants that Zhou Jianxing had planted and cared for, and replace them with a new batch of plants that had nothing to do with their past.
But just as the gardener's shovel was ruthlessly thrust into the soft soil, ready to attack the thriving sage, she suddenly called a halt.
The growth and withering of all things follow their own cyclical rhythm and will not change because of anyone's joy, anger, sorrow or happiness.
It’s like people always seem to be walking on a certain predetermined destiny trajectory, meeting and then separating, as if it had been arranged in advance.
She and Zhou Jianxing, perhaps it is really like the old saying, they met by chance but ultimately have no chance to be together.
Too many coincidences weighed on her overwhelmed heart, causing her to miss the star that once belonged to her.
Perhaps influenced by Zhou Jianxing, she found that she seemed to have begun to develop some unnecessary sympathy for these silent lives in nature.
For example, seeing food being wasted will make you feel uncomfortable, and seeing flowers and plants being treated roughly will make you frown subconsciously.
Life itself is great and worthy of awe, and Zhou Jianxing demonstrated this to her through his own actions.
She remembered that Zhou Jianxing would carry some change with him in case he met beggars along the way.
At that time, Wen Lingyi always said, "Are you stupid? Those people are professional beggars."
Zhou Jianxing smiled and asked, "What if it's true?"
She remembered that a few mornings, when she stood behind the curtains on the second floor, she saw Zhou Jianxing wearing a simple T-shirt and trousers, holding a handful of raw rice in his hand, walking into the small dense forest area behind the villa area, and gently scattering the rice grains beside the exposed tree roots or on the flat stones.
After a while, sparrows and other small birds whose names I couldn't tell would fly down with flapping wings and peck at the rice grains.
The morning light filtered through the gaps in the leaves and fell on Zhou Jianxing's focused profile. At that moment, she didn't look like a maintenance worker.
It is more like an elf in a fairy tale who is close to all things in nature, with a purity and gentleness that is untainted by dust.
Loving someone is like caring for flowers; both require great patience and care. Zhou Jianxing takes good care of her garden, ensuring that every plant is in its best condition.
Wen Lingyi sometimes thought that if Zhou Jianxing could be compared to a flower, it would be a lily, a white lily.
The petals are white and spread out, the fragrance is elegant and clean, with a kind of purity that is ignorant of the world.
So what kind of flower should she be? Wen Lingyi's knowledge of flowers is really limited, and she can't define herself.
She only knew that she was an ordinary woman. If she didn't see the sun for a long time and didn't get the nourishment of rain and dew, her heart would soon dry up and wither.
·
Wen Lingyi leaned on the door frame of the entrance hall and looked at the empty garden.
In the audio-visual room that day, every word Zhou Jianxing said and every expression were repeatedly savored and chewed over in her heart.
At first it was a sharp pain and bitterness, but later on, you could actually taste a tiny, deformed sweetness underneath the bitterness.
It's like strong tea that has been brewed over and over again. After the initial intense bitterness fades away, the tip of the tongue can instead capture that little bit of self-deceptive sweetness that is completely stimulated by the spring water.
"Wen Lingyi, it's completely over between us, you said so."
So, Zhou Jianxing still remembers what she said, every word clearly, right?
So, Zhou Jianxing still cares about it in his heart, doesn't he?
Wen Lingyi was staring out the window in a daze. Master Li had finished pruning and cleaning the garden for the day and walked over.
When he approached, he had the smell of sweat and soil from working outdoors on him. It wasn't unpleasant, but Wen Lingyi still frowned subconsciously.
It was very strange. She clearly had a mild obsession with cleanliness, but the smell of sweat, when Zhou Jianxing came close to her with sweat on his forehead after repairs, the scent mixed with sunlight, dust and a little bit of light soap had never made her feel disgusted.
"Mrs. Wen, we have finished all the work for today." Master Li rubbed his hands with a simple yet somewhat awkward smile on his face.
"Okay, thank you for troubling Master Li today." Wen Lingyi collected her thoughts and took out a small stack of cash that she had prepared in advance from her handbag on the entrance cabinet and handed it over.
When Master Li reached out to take the money, his rough fingertips seemed to "accidentally" and gently rub her finger skin.
Wen Lingyi's brows immediately furrowed, and a trace of clear disgust flashed across her eyes, but she did not lose her temper immediately.
"Master Li," her voice turned cold, and the polite smile on her face disappeared without a trace, "You don't need to come again."
"Mrs. Wen, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" The man's smile froze instantly. He became flustered and hurriedly explained, "I really didn't mean to do that. I wasn't paying attention..."
When he walked over just now, he saw Wen Lingyi leaning against the door frame and looking in his direction with a blank look in her eyes. He thought that this beautiful female employer who lived alone had some other intentions towards him.
Whether it was intentional or not, how could she not tell?
Wen Lingyi didn't listen to his nagging anymore and closed the door directly.
She leaned against the door, thinking that she would have to find a reliable gardener again.
My eyes swept across the corner of the living room. The tall bird of paradise looked particularly energetic on this bleak day. Its broad leaves were a deep green, showing more vitality than other plants.
She walked over quietly and stood in front of the pot of bird of paradise for a while.
This plant grew very fast and was already taller than the Zhou Jianxing in her memory who always kept his head slightly lowered and carefully fiddled with flowers and plants.
·
In the following days, the front desk calls became more frequent.
"Engineer Zhou, there's a problem with the multimedia TV display in Building A7 of Lanyue Bay. Ms. Wen specifically asked you to come and take a look."
…
"Mr. Zhou, the smart curtain track of Lanyuewan A7 is not running smoothly. Please go over there now."
…
"Mr. Zhou, the refrigerator in Ms. Wen's house doesn't seem to be cooling well..."
…
"Engineer Zhou, Ms. Wen reported that the air conditioner occasionally makes unusual noises when running..."
…
"Mr. Zhou, Ms. Wen said the central vacuum system isn't powerful enough..."
…
Zhou Jianxing always took on the task silently, showed up on time, and worked quietly.
She inspected, repaired and tested with skill and efficiency, trying to avoid unnecessary eye contact and physical contact throughout the process.
When Wen Lingyi tried to get closer, offer her water, or find topics to chat, she would always take a step back at the right time, or respond with the shortest "hmm," "ok," or "thank you."
When you get paid to do something, you draw clear lines between the two and act decisively and promptly, leaving no room for criticism.
Until one day, when she was packing up her tools, Wen Lingyi couldn't help but approach her from behind again, with his arms almost around her waist.
Zhou Jianxing seemed to have eyes on his back. He suddenly dodged to the side and turned around.
She looked at Wen Lingyi, her face expressionless, but her voice clear: "If you do this again," she said, "I will resign."
Wen Lingyi froze in place.
"I hope we only have a working relationship." Zhou Jianxing squatted down and picked up the scattered screwdrivers, wrenches, and insulating tape one by one and put them back into the toolbox. He never looked up at Wen Lingyi. "It would be best if we don't even have a working relationship."
She fastened the lock of the toolbox, stood up carrying the heavy box, and her eyes finally fell on Wen Lingyi's face.
"Man-made faults will shorten the service life of the home appliances themselves. I see that the appliances in Mrs. Wen's home are very expensive, so you should save some money." And save some trouble.
Zhou Jianxing paused and looked into Wen Lingyi's eyes. There seemed to be a thin layer of shadow in his amber pupils, and the corners of his mouth were slightly pursed.
"Please, too," she whispered, "let me go."
After saying that, she picked up the toolbox and turned to leave.
Wen Lingyi stood there, watching her dark blue figure moving farther and farther away along the long driveway, eventually shrinking into a blurry dot and disappearing at the end of her sight.
Just like the cigarette ash that fell from her fingertips, it was blown away by the wind and no trace could be found.
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