Emptiness and loneliness
That anonymous yet remarkably candid conversation with his online friend was like a miraculous medicine. Zhou Jianxing poured out all the secrets pent up in the depths of his heart to that virtual stranger.
Although Zhou Jianxing scoffed at "Feng Xin Suo Ai"'s joking assertion that "she has the same feelings for you", the mere act of "saying it out" miraculously relaxed her long-tensioned heartstrings.
The heavy burden of depression was torn open, and her mood unexpectedly calmed down a lot. It was as if a part of the invisible burden was lifted, allowing her to breathe.
·
Saturday arrived in a flash, the day for garden maintenance. Zhou Jianxing, carrying his tools, once again stepped through the carved iron gate of Lanyue Bay.
The sun is shining, the breeze is not dry, and the garden is filled with the fresh scent of soil and plants.
Wen Lingyi was already waiting in the corridor, wearing a comfortable long house dress, leaning lazily against a white pillar. The sunlight danced through her hair, casting a soft halo. Seeing Zhou Jianxing, the corners of her lips curled up slightly, and that smile seemed to have a hint of doting more than usual.
"Master Zhou, good afternoon." Wen Lingyi's voice was still soft, but lacked the deliberately created laziness and ambiguity.
"Good afternoon, Mrs. Wen." Zhou Jianxing tried hard to make his voice sound steady, but his heartbeat still quickened by half a beat.
This time, Wen Lingyi didn't just watch from afar as usual. She followed Zhou Jianxing, holding a cup of coffee. The topic also quietly changed.
"Master Zhou, how long has he been in this business? Does his family support him?" Wen Lingyi started the topic casually, her eyes falling on Zhou Jianxing's hands, which were covered in mud but moved with great agility.
Zhou Jianxing was a little surprised, but answered honestly: "More than two years. At home... my mother didn't quite understand at first, thinking that it was dirty and tiring for a girl to do this. Later, when she saw that I was happy doing it, she let me do it." She paused and added, "My father actually likes me doing this. He feels like I've inherited his mantle." When she mentioned her father, her expression was like a proud cat.
Wen Lingyi looked at Zhou Jianxing with interest and asked, "Master Zhou looks quite young. You've been working here for over two years. How old are you this year?"
Zhou Jianxing answered honestly: "I'm 24, almost 25, and I started working in this industry after graduating from university."
Already 24? 25? Wen Lingyi looked at Zhou Jianxing suspiciously. She had always thought that Zhou Jianxing was no more than 20 years old. Whether it was his face, language, expressions, or movements, he looked like a child.
Wen Lingyi naturally changed the subject: "Besides work, what do you like to do?"
"Just... taking care of my small balcony, reading books on maintenance techniques, or... playing the erhu?" Zhou Jianxing smiled a little embarrassedly, feeling that his hobby was really unremarkable.
Wen Lingyi chuckled, and the coffee swayed gently in the cup.
Zhou Jianxing looks quite young, even a little childish, but his hobbies are more like those of an elderly person.
Also, it's pretty cute.
"Very pure. I like pure people." She then changed the subject, adding a hint of self-mockery, "Unlike me, who is trapped in the hypocritical interpersonal relationships and endless numbers in the gallery every day. Sometimes I think it's quite boring."
Zhou Jianxing stopped what he was doing and looked at Wen Lingyi seriously: "Mrs. Wen's work is very elegant and important."
"Elegance? Important?" Wen Lingyi took a sip of coffee and looked off into the distance. "Maybe. It's just... I look good in front of people, but I know how to handle it behind their backs."
She suddenly turned her head, looking at Zhou Jianxing with a gloomy gaze, and lowered her voice a little, "For example, this huge house is always empty at night. He's abroad, with such a huge time difference... Sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night, I just feel cold and empty inside, like there's a hole in my body, letting in a cold wind. It's so... lonely. I don't even feel a little bit safe."
"He" - the husband who is far away abroad.
Wen Lingyi's words lingered softly on Zhou Jianxing's heart, scratching the most sensitive part of her heart. Her face flushed instantly, from her ears to her neck, and the knuckles of her fingers gripping the spatula turned pale.
Empty... lonely... cold... insecure...
These words, spoken from Wen Lingyi's mouth, sounded like temptation and a dangerous signal. Alarm bells rang in Zhou Jianxing's mind, and a terrifying thought emerged uncontrollably: Would Mrs. Wen, because of this "emptiness, loneliness, and coldness," look for another man?!
This thought instantly panicked her, and without thinking, she blurted out anxious words: "Mrs. Wen! You... don't worry! I can help you renovate the villa! Add some night lighting, install sensor lights in the corridors and stairwells! And as for the security system, I can help you upgrade it and install the best cameras and alarms! So you can feel safer at home at night!"
She paused, as if feeling it wasn't enough, and hurriedly added, her voice gradually becoming quieter: "And... and that... if you feel cold, I... I can buy you a big stuffed bear! You can hold it when you sleep at night, and you won't be cold!"
Wen Lingyi was stunned.
She looked at the maintenance worker and gardener in front of her, who was anxious, blushing, and racking his brains to come up with these "solutions". A hint of surprise flashed across her beautiful peach blossom eyes, and then was quickly drowned by a torrent of laughter.
She tried to hold it back, but finally couldn't hold it back anymore. Her shoulders trembled slightly and she let out a low, joyful laugh. The sound was like the sound of a clear spring.
"Heh..." Wen Lingyi finally managed to stop laughing, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. She looked at Zhou Jianxing with a doting and loving look, her words tinged with playfulness, "Master Zhou...you're so cute."
Zhou Jianxing was made even more helpless by her laughter, and his face turned even redder, like a boiled shrimp.
Wen Lingyi leaned forward, and the distance between them was instantly shortened. Zhou Jianxing could smell the omnipresent scent of Mrs. Wen in his nostrils again.
Her voice lowered to an ambiguous whisper, "But... the stuffed bear is dead. Unlike humans, it has no body temperature and is cold. Holding it and using your body heat to warm it... How tiring is that?"
Her breath brushed past Zhou Jianxing's ears faintly. Zhou Jianxing felt a surge of heat rushing to his head, his brain was buzzing, and he almost crashed.
In extreme confusion and embarrassment, her professional instinct as a maintenance worker once again saved her, or rather, pushed her to even stranger ideas.
She retorted almost reflexively, her voice a little hurried due to nervousness: "Then...then we can add a heating device! Yes! It charges with USB, and when it's charged, it's warm, so you won't feel cold when you hold it at night. If...if it gets hot in the summer, I can even add a cooling module! It will turn into an ice bear! Very...very convenient!"
The more she talked, the more she felt that this plan was feasible, and she even began to think about the specific implementation circuit diagram.
Wen Lingyi: “…”
This time, she was really choked by Zhou Jianxing's unique train of thought.
Seeing the other party seriously considering the feasibility of the "Ice and Fire Plush Bear" and not receiving any ambiguous signals at all, Wen Lingyi's teasing thoughts instantly turned into a helpless feeling of both laughing and crying.
She once again experienced the meaning of "playing the lute to a cow" and "punching cotton." All the hints and teasing were automatically filtered out as technical issues in front of this little fool.
She rubbed her brows, no longer in the mood to tease. Forget it, why bother arguing with this real piece of wood.
"Haha... Master Zhou is truly... professional," Wen Lingyi could only offer a dry assessment, keeping her distance. She watched Zhou Jianxing sigh with relief, then immediately return to pruning the shrubs with even greater diligence, her eyes filled with a complex expression.
For the next few days, Zhou Jianxing seemed to pour all her energy into her work. She watered, loosened the soil, and fertilized the trees with deft movements, her technique precise and fluid. She even summoned the courage to point to a few plants in a corner of the garden that seemed a bit out of place, analyzing them in her most professional tone possible:
"Mrs. Wen, the color contrast between the golden privet over here and the purple-leaved barberry next to it is too strong. Besides, they are both foliage plants, so the sense of layering is not enough. Perhaps we could intersperse some perennial plants with small white or lavender flowers, such as hosta or sage? This way the transition would be more natural and the flowering periods would be consistent."
Wen Lingyi looked at Zhou Jianxing's profile with some surprise as she spoke. The sunlight outlined her serious features, and sweat slid down her smooth forehead, wetting a few strands of hair.
At this moment, Zhou Jianxing has lost his shyness and clumsiness, emitting a focused and confident glow, which has a unique appeal.
She calmly took out her cell phone, pretending to check messages, and quietly aimed the camera at the figure who was sweating profusely and looking focused in the sun.
There was a slight click and the picture froze.
In the photo, Zhou Jianxing frowned slightly as she carefully trimmed the remaining flowers of a rose. The sunlight shone on her sweaty temples and focused eyes, filling them with vibrant vitality. Wen Lingyi looked at the photo on her phone screen, her fingertips unconsciously stroking it.
The work was finally coming to an end. Zhou Jianxing packed up his tools and prepared to leave.
Wen Lingyi walked her to the door.
Looking into Zhou Jianxing's clear, uninterrupted eyes, Wen Lingyi's remnants of resentment resurfaced. Leaning against the doorframe, she glanced across the newly spruced-up garden, sighing meaningfully, "The garden is finally back to life. But..."
She paused, her gaze falling dimly on Zhou Jianxing's face. "No matter how carefully it's cared for, it'll still feel lonely once the gardener leaves. Just like... some places need constant care and dredging to stay vibrant and healthy..."
The words contained obvious double entendres, and the look in his eyes was tinged with a hazy temptation.
However, Zhou Jianxing just blinked and nodded sincerely in agreement, "Yes, Mrs. Wen, plants, like people, need regular care to stay healthy and vibrant. Don't worry, I'll come on time every week! I guarantee your garden will always be full of vitality!"
Wen Lingyi: “…”
She had completely given up. Watching Zhou Jianxing say goodbye calmly this time and turn away, Wen Lingyi held her forehead with her hands, but the corners of her mouth couldn't help but curl up in a helpless arc. This idiot... really...
·
At night, Zhou Jianxing lay in her little bed, Wen Lingyi's words from the daytime, "Empty, lonely, and cold," swirling in her mind like a spell. Unease and worry swirled around her. For some unknown reason, she clicked on the big blue-eyed app again.
Xingxing: "Are you there? I...I saw the person I like again today."
Feng Xin Suo Ai: "Oh? Seeing you're still looking for me so late, it seems there's something going on?" (almost an instant reply)
Xingxing: "Today...she told me that she was alone at home at night and felt cold, empty, lonely, and insecure..."
Xingxing: "I'm so worried... Will she... Will she find someone else because of this?"
Wen Lingyi on the other side of the screen was stunned when she saw these two messages, and then she couldn't help but burst out laughing. This little fool actually listened to her seductive complaints and was still worried here.
Feng Xin Suo Ai: "Little Star, are you stupid?"
Feng Xin Suo Ai: "She feels lonely and alone. Whether she wants to find someone else or not is her freedom and right. Why are you so concerned about this?"
Feng Xin Suo Ai: "Besides, you don't even dare to confess your feelings to her. What does it have to do with you who she finds? Who are you to worry about?"
It was so blunt that it was almost cruel. Zhou Jianxing stared at the words "What does it have to do with you" on the screen, feeling a little breathless.
Yes, who was she? A gardener? A maintenance worker? Why should she be worried? Why should she be upset?
Tears welled up without warning, blurring her vision. She bit her lower lip, her fingers hovering over the keyboard, unable to type a single word.
In the end, she just quietly exited the chat box, threw her phone aside, and sat on the bed crying alone.
·
Wen Lingyi waited for a long time but received no reply.
Seeing the name of the star above the dialog box turn gray (offline), her heart skipped a beat. Oh no, did I say something too harsh?
She softened her tone and carefully sent another message.
Feng Xin Suo Ai: "Hey? Little Star? Are you angry? I was just kidding."
Feng Xin Suo Ai: "Don't be sad. Sister will tell you a secret."
"A lonely married woman said this to a young and lovely girl. What do you think she meant?"
Feng Xin Suo Ai: "Stupid! This is clearly an invitation! A hint! Do you understand?"
Zhou Jianxing didn't want to check her phone anymore, but the notifications kept ringing. Finally, she couldn't help herself and clicked on the message with red eyes.
Seeing the "secret" of "Sealing the Heart and Locking Love", her eyes widened instantly, and the tears that had been flowing just now shrank back in shock, but her cheeks suddenly turned red again, even more red than when she was in the garden during the day.
Xingxing: "Impossible!!!"
Xingxing: "She...she's a very nice person! Very serious! She wouldn't...wouldn't have that kind of thought!"
Zhou Jianxing hurriedly explained himself to defend Wen Lingyi's perfect image which was pure and could not be tarnished in her heart.
Wen Lingyi on the other side of the screen almost spit out water when she saw the comment "very serious".
Seriously? Zhou Jianxing is a little fool. He must have been sold and is still happily helping others count the money.
If Wen Lingyi were serious, there would be no indecent people in this world.
Feng Xin Suo Ai: "(makes a banging-head emoji) Serious? Haha."
"What decent married woman would tell you she feels lonely and cold at night?"
Feng Xin Suo Ai: "What kind of serious lady would always find opportunities to touch your little hand?"
Feng Xin Suo Ai: "What proper lady would look at you with that... um... sticky look?"
Feng Xin Suo Ai: "Little Star, stop deceiving yourself. She is just trying to hook you, but you are such a piece of wood that you don't know how to act."
Zhou Jianxing was completely stunned by these sharp questions.
She sat on the bed, her mind a mess. The floodgates of her memory were opened, and those scenes that she had deliberately ignored or explained away as "accidents" or "coincidences" now emerged with incredible clarity.
The subtle touch of Wen Lingyi's fingertips, the warm breath when she spoke close to him, and those eyes that always contained a complex smile and seemed to be able to see through people's hearts... It turned out that those were not her illusions?
It turns out that those...are all... "fishing"?
The huge amount of information made her feel dizzy.
Amidst the confusion, she discovered a more fundamental and "technical" problem.
Xingxing: "But...but she and I are both women!"
Xingxing: "Even if...even if she really means that...what should we do?"
When Wen Lingyi saw this message, she almost spat out blood on the screen.
She finally understood why this little fool looked so confused despite all her hints and puns. It turned out that she didn't understand anything at all and didn't even have the most basic concepts.
This is no longer a block of wood, it is an uncivilized stone.
Wen Lingyi held her forehead and sighed, feeling neither amused nor embarrassed. A secret, inexplicable excitement quietly grew. A blank sheet of paper... seemed even more interesting? She licked her dry lips.
Seal the Heart and Lock Love: "..."
Seal the Heart and Lock the Love: (Sent an "I surrender" emoticon)
Feng Xin Suo Ai: "Little fool, you really...open my eyes."
Feng Xin Suo Ai: "How about this, leave me an email."
Feng Xin Suo Ai: "Sister will give you some... enlightenment teaching materials. Free of charge."
Feng Xin Suo Ai: "After reading this, you will know that there are so many things two women can do."
It was followed by a meaningful wink expression.
Zhou Jianxing's face was so red that it seemed like blood was about to drip out, and his heart was beating so fast that it almost jumped out of his chest.
She looked at the winking expression and felt so shy that she wanted to find a hole to hide in, but for some unknown reason, she still sent the message with trembling hands to an email address that she rarely used.
Not long after, the mailbox notification sound rang.
Zhou Jianxing opened his mailbox with trembling hands. An email with no subject line and a sender's address consisting of a string of gibberish characters lay quietly in his inbox. Attached to it was a rather large compressed file.
The file name is simple and crude, but it has a thrilling magic:
Basic Knowledge and Advanced Practice - Lily Care Guide (Detailed Illustrations).zip
Zhou Jianxing stared at the file name, his mind went blank, and the only sound was the roar of blood rushing against his eardrums.
She threw her phone away as if she was scalded, pulled the quilt over her face, revealing only a pair of wide-open eyes filled with shock, shame, panic... and a hint of curiosity.
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