Dark clouds covering the moon
When I opened the door, Zhou Jianjun and Zhou Shufen were both sitting on the sofa. The TV screen was flickering silently, and no one was actually watching.
After they returned from their trip, they keenly noticed that something was wrong with their daughter, Zhou Jianxing. The air in their home seemed stagnant, an invisible, low-pressure cloud hanging over the small space, making even breathing a little dull.
Zhou Jianxing's steps were light, one deep and one shallow, and he felt no solidity on the ground, as if his body had just walked back instinctively, but his soul was still left outside the cold carved door of Lanyue Bay, with nowhere to go.
Wen Lingyi's cold and cruel words echoed repeatedly in her mind, and every word was like a blunt instrument hitting her nerves.
"Xingxing, what's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?" Zhou Shufen immediately stood up and came forward, holding her daughter's shaking arm, and reached out her hand to touch Zhou Jianxing's forehead with concern.
His temperature was normal, he didn't have a fever, and there was no smell of alcohol on him, but his steps were so heavy as if they were filled with lead, or as if he was stepping on cotton, which made people feel nervous.
Zhou Jianxing didn't say anything, but just hugged his mother and gently rested his forehead on her slightly thin shoulders.
At this moment, she felt that her body had finally found a fulcrum on which she could temporarily lean on and relieve herself of her strength.
It was as if someone had pulled out all the bones in her body, and along with it, all her energy and spirit. Now, even speaking a word felt extremely tiring and required a huge amount of effort.
Zhou Shufen did not ask any further questions immediately, but gently patted her daughter's back with her warm palms, just like when she was awakened by a nightmare as a child, silently conveying comfort and support.
After a long while, Zhou Jianxing slowly straightened up and forced a smile towards his mother. His lips moved, "It's okay, Mom. I'm just a little tired."
Zhou Shufen was skeptical. She took Zhou Jianxing's cold hand and walked over to the sofa to sit down. Zhou Jianjun also turned off the TV. The living room fell into complete silence, with only the subtle sound of the clock hands on the wall moving.
"Dad, Mom." Zhou Jianxing lowered his head, his gaze fixed on his tightly clenched hands, his knuckles turning white. He spoke each word very slowly, as if struggling to squeeze it out from his chest. "I... broke up."
Zhou Shufen's warm hand immediately covered the back of her hand, which was resting uneasily on her knees, and gently held it: "Do you want to talk to your mother?"
Zhou Jianxing's eyelids twitched slightly, then he shook his head and lowered his voice: "For now... I don't want to."
Zhou Jianjun, who was sitting on the side, was silent for a moment, then asked a more practical question: "What was the reason for the breakup?"
The reason? Zhou Jianxing felt a sharp suffocating sensation in his heart.
What's the reason? Perhaps it's like a shady substitute, discarded as a matter of course when the original owner finally returns.
It can't even be called a fake. A fake at least has the intention to imitate the original, but she, perhaps, is not even a substitute. She is just an insignificant existence used temporarily to kill time.
Toy.
"It's okay," Zhou Shufen clutched her daughter's hand, her tone as gentle and soothing as possible. "Life is like this. If you don't experience it a few times, how can you know what's truly right for you? Breaking up now might not be a bad thing."
Zhou Jianxing didn't say anything else, but gently pulled her hand back and stood up. "Dad, Mom, I'm going to bed first. I'm a little tired." She paused and added, "I want to take this year's annual leave for the next few days."
·
Returning to his bedroom and closing the door, Zhou Jianxing isolated himself from his parents' worried gazes in the living room. Instead of lying down immediately, he dragged a chair over and sat down. His brain seemed to be rusty, turning slowly or inertly, his mind a blank.
What should she do now? What could she do? She had no idea.
The night wind blew in from the half-open window, gently blowing the white gauze curtains. The moonlight outside the window flowed in like water, casting blurry light and shadows on the floor.
The air seemed to be stagnant, and Zhou Jianxing felt that his breathing was becoming more and more difficult, and his chest was stuffy.
She stood up, pushed the window open with force, and leaned her upper body out of the window. The slightly cool night air rushed into her nostrils. She breathed in big gulps, trying to ease the violent, almost spasmodic contraction of her heart.
She reached out and turned on the ceiling light in the room. The cold white light instantly dispelled the moonlight and illuminated everything in the bedroom with incredible clarity.
She walked to the wardrobe, opened the door, and immediately saw the dresses she had bought with Chu Wei when they went to Zhaohua Building. Some of the labels were still hanging there, brand new. She had imagined whether there would be a hint of surprise in Wen Lingyi's eyes when she put them on and appeared in front of her.
He looked at the clothes in silence, then reached out and took them off one by one, spread them flat on the bed, and folded them neatly, slowly and carefully, as if performing some solemn ceremony.
Finally, she found an empty cardboard box and put the folded clothes in it, along with the sexy nightgown that she had bought with great effort to cater to Wen Lingyi's preferences and which she had never worn alone.
The sound of tape sealing the box was particularly harsh in the silent room. She pushed the cardboard box to the deepest and inconspicuous corner of the closet, as if this could seal the memory as well.
She also collected all the bottles and jars of cosmetics one by one.
Putting on makeup is actually quite troublesome for her. She has to spend time removing it at night. She has always preferred to just wash her face with water and go out easily. It was only because of Wen Lingyi, who liked her dressing up more, that she started to try to change.
Because of Wen Lingyi, Zhou Jianxing no longer looks like Zhou Jianxing.
But now Zhou Jianxing understood that those compromises and sacrifices were meaningless. They would not make the other party look at her more when he decided to abandon her, nor would they feel any sympathy for her.
I changed into my most frequently worn loose old T-shirt, which had been washed to a pale color, and home shorts. My body was wrapped in the familiar soft fabric, but I didn't feel the relaxation I used to feel.
The presence of the necklace around my neck suddenly became extremely strong. The cold metal against my skin seemed to carry a scorching temperature.
She had originally accepted, gotten used to, and even naturally ignored its existence, but now she clearly realized -
This may also be a form of "compensation" for Wen Lingyi.
The thought made her stomach churn and she felt nauseous. She raised her hand, roughly unfastened the necklace's clasp, and removed it from her neck. The necklace lay in her palm, reflecting the light, looking cold and ironic.
She found a piece of soft velvet and wiped every inch of the necklace repeatedly and carefully, as if to erase all traces that did not belong to it.
Then she opened the drawer and took out the album that she also treasured. She put it and the necklace into a thick brown paper bag and sealed it.
If we have to break up, we should do it cleanly and thoroughly, and no one owes anyone anything.
She refused to accept any form of compensation, so that at least in this embarrassing relationship, she could retain the last bit of shaky dignity and not be considered a complete victim who needed charity.
·
After a careful shower, washing away the fatigue and the invisible discomfort, it was already late at night when Zhou Jianxing came out of the bathroom. He lay back on the bed, but found that he couldn't fall asleep at all.
The moonlight flowing in the room and the night breeze blowing in from the window were all in the shape of Wen Lingyi, omnipresent, leaving her nowhere to escape.
She tossed and turned in bed, and finally returned to the living room with her pillow and thin quilt, curling up on the relatively narrow sofa.
The small space actually brought her a strange sense of security. Her body was surrounded by the armrests and backrest of the sofa. Her tense nerves relaxed a little, and sleepiness slowly came over her like a tide.
She thought she would cry bitterly and vent all the pent-up grievances and pain.
But strangely, my tear ducts seemed completely blocked, unable to shed a single tear. My heart felt heavy and oppressive, a dull, persistent pain spreading through me, yet I couldn't find an outlet.
Wen Lingyi said that he had never liked her.
It turns out that liking this feeling can be faked so realistically and flawlessly. Zhou Jianxing thought this was probably the most profound and cruel lesson Wen Lingyi had taught her. She would probably remember this lesson for a long, long time.
·
The next morning, Zhou Jianxing opened her eyes at dawn. She had been lying on the sofa almost stiffly all night and her body was a little sore.
He picked up the phone and called Huang Haifu to ask for leave.
Huang Haifu on the other end of the phone was probably just woken up by the ringing. When he heard that Zhou Jianxing wanted to ask for leave, he first agreed casually in a daze, and then he realized who was on the other end of the phone. His voice suddenly rose, full of surprise.
"You want to take annual leave?!" Huang Haifu's tone was full of disbelief. "Didn't you just take leave a while ago? The company's business is very busy recently, and it's the time when we need people the most!"
"Boss," Zhou Jianxing's voice was low and hoarse from a sleepless night, "I'm heartbroken. I'm not feeling well and can't work."
There was silence for a few seconds on the other end of the phone, followed by a helpless smacking sound.
"Tsk, you young people..." This reason was really hard to refute. Huang Haifu's tone softened, with a hint of elder's helplessness, "Okay, okay, you should adjust yourself and come back to work as soon as possible. Things like love... well, can they be more important than making money? Think about it."
He finally agreed to Zhou Jianxing's request for leave.
Zhou Jianxing knew that in his current condition, he was indeed not suitable to go to work.
While her job might be mundane, it impacts the proper functioning of equipment and potential safety issues, requiring her to be responsible for the safety and trust of others. She still vividly remembers the lesson of the previous commercial coffee machine short circuit incident, and she dares not be careless in the slightest.
·
After hanging up the phone, she walked to the small balcony to water the plants. The morning light was dim, softly shining on the leaves, and the small balcony was still lush and full of vitality.
In the past, she would probably look for a good angle, take a few photos and send them to Wen Lingyi, awkwardly sharing this little happiness in her ordinary daily life.
Speaking of photos... Zhou Jianxing put down the kettle, took out his mobile phone, swiped his finger across the screen, and clicked on the private photo album with a password set.
It was filled with photos of Wen Lingyi, from different angles, with different expressions. She flipped through them one by one, her finger lingering on the screen for a long time before pressing the delete key.
With every operation, a cold prompt box would pop up on the screen: "Do you want to delete this photo?" Her fingertips would always hesitate and tremble uncontrollably, but in the end, they would still land heavily on the word "yes".
She was afraid that she would not be able to help but look through these photos over and over again during countless sleepless nights, and then be tortured by endless memories and pain.
The sunlight gradually grew stronger, filling the entire room, from the balcony to the living room, bright and warm. The sun still rose as usual, and the world remained unchanged. Everything seemed like a trance-like dream, and only she was trapped in the cold reality after waking up.
The huge confusion and emptiness brought about by this sudden breakup swallowed her up even before the sharp pain.
Zhou Jianxing knew that he shouldn't hate Wen Lingyi.
Because from the very beginning of their acquaintance, she knew clearly that the other party was married.
Because after Wen Lingyi repeatedly made it clear and hinted at the dangers and uncertainties of this relationship, it was she who chose to continue to get involved.
Because she herself was weak-willed, she was attracted by the other party's temptation and came to where she is today.
She even realized belatedly that Wen Lingyi might have been considered "kind" to her, and had been giving her a heads-up early on in various ambiguous and capricious ways, trying to prevent her from sinking too deeply.
She couldn't help but fall in love and gave all her feelings to him.
However, a faint, cold hatred still took root uncontrollably in the deepest part of my heart.
How can she not hate?
It was Wen Lingyi who provoked her first. It was she who used those gentle illusions and sweet words to make her feel that there might be a future between the two of them. She was blinded by this illusion and willingly fell deeper and deeper into it.
But in the end, Zhou Jianxing shouldn't have hated Wen Lingyi. It was unfair to simply blame either party for what happened between two people. She had inappropriate thoughts about a married woman, and she wasn't a good person either.
What's more, now hatred or not has long lost all meaning.
Because it's over, it's completely over.
·
Zhou Jianxing walked to the bathroom, turned on the tap, and splashed cold water on his face several times. The cold water droplets slid down his cheeks, bringing a brief sense of clarity.
She raised her head and looked at herself in the mirror.
The person in the mirror had a hollow look in his eyes, having lost all focus, leaving only utter silence, like a body with its soul drained away. Looking through those hollow eyes, one seemed to be able to glimpse directly into the desolate, crumbling ruins deep within his heart.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
