Little Spring
He waited for a whole day and night, staying by her side at all times, busy with his affairs while taking time to see her and the child.
Pang Linqiu weakly opened her eyes, using all her strength to prop herself up, finally sitting against the headboard. She turned to look around the room; she was alone. The tearing pain in her lower body hadn't completely subsided, and with no one else in the room, she felt an emptiness inside. She felt neglected, and a sense of depression crept in. She tried to comfort herself, to cheer herself up…
She had a dry mouth and wanted to drink a glass of water. She tried to get out of bed to pour it herself, but she was too weak and uncomfortable to get out of bed.
"Little Qiu, let's go see Mommy, okay?"
Footsteps and Peng Xuan'an's voice soothing the child came from outside the door. She looked up at the door.
The baby in the swaddling clothes smiled sweetly and responded to Peng Xuan'an with "ya ya".
Peng Xuan'an pushed open the door and entered, holding the swaddled baby in one arm and patting the child's back with the other. Dressed in a blue robe, he exuded the air of a married man, his hair tied low with a red ribbon, and stray strands falling across his forehead.
Pang Linqiu didn't look at him; her eyes were fixed on the baby in his arms.
Peng Xuan'an was about to place Qiu Mo'an in the cradle when she turned her head and glanced at the bed, her pupils dilating in surprise. She quickly ran over, sat on the edge of the bed, and looked at her with both heartache and anxiety: "Madam, are you feeling unwell?"
"Are you feeling unwell? Should we call the imperial physician? Are you hungry or thirsty? Are you tired?"
Pang Linqiu's gaze fell directly on the baby in the swaddling clothes. The baby's snow-white skin and sweet smile instantly overwhelmed her with maternal love. Her eyes crinkled into a loving smile.
Peng Xuan'an followed her gaze and looked at the child, and smiled as well.
"Madam, look, Xiao Qiu is so happy to see you awake." He lifted Qiu Mo up so she could see the baby in the swaddling clothes more clearly.
Pang Linqiu raised her hand and poked Qiu Mo's cheek with her index finger, "Really... cough cough..."
Peng Xuan'an quickly looked at her, his face full of worry. Pang Linqiu's face was pale and she looked very haggard and pitiful. He placed the child beside the bed and did not let Pang Linqiu hold him, for fear that holding him would aggravate her wounds.
Peng Xuan'an quickly poured a glass of water for her, saying, "Madam, please have some water."
Pang Linqiu took the drink and drank it all in one gulp, which relieved her thirst. She wanted to hold the child, but Peng Xuan'an stopped her, "Madam, you are weak, and Xiao Qiu is a bit heavy, so please don't hold her for now."
"..." Pang Linqiu glared at him weakly, and finally agreed feebly: "...Okay..."
He picked Qiu Mo up again, put her in the cradle, and then sat beside her.
He stared at her with concern: "Madam, are you feeling unwell?"
Pang Linqiu didn't look directly at him, her eyes lowered as if she had something on her mind: "...It's alright..."
...
The two chatted briefly, but Pang Linqiu, not yet fully recovered, went to rest early, so he had no choice but to continue handling his affairs.
A month later, the Minister's residence held a full-moon celebration banquet, and many people came to offer their congratulations. Pang Linqiu's health was deteriorating, and she refused to attend.
Time flies, and three years have passed in the blink of an eye. Sometime ago, a lilac tree was planted in the main courtyard. Eight-meter-long branches and leaves stretched out of the wall, and purple lilacs bloomed at some point. It was planted on the right side of the house, near the entrance.
The lilac flower symbolizes purity, first love, and sorrowful longing.
In the blink of an eye, the baby who was still in swaddling clothes has now grown into a child, following behind Peng Xuan'an as if he were a miniature version of Peng Xuan'an.
Everyone joked that this child was definitely his biological son, except that his brow bone resembled his mother's, while everything else resembled his father's.
Peng Xuan'an, however, was not pleased. She hoped that Qiu Mo would look like her mother, and although she might resemble her in some ways, she would be more like her.
Pang Linqiu dressed Peng Qiumo in women's clothing and suddenly couldn't help but laugh, saying, "Little Peng Xuan'an looks so cute in women's clothes."
One night, Peng Qiumo went to bed early and fell into a deep sleep.
Pang Linqiu and Peng Xuan'an talked by candlelight.
“Xuan An…” she hesitated.
"Madam, I'm here. What's wrong?"
"Isn't Xiao Qiu a little lonely? How about we have another child?"
Peng Xuan'an remembered the imperial physician's words and shook his head firmly, "No, if Xiao Qiu feels lonely, I will find some children of the same age to keep her company."
"But……"
“Your health is weak. If we have another child, I’m afraid…” He looked at her fearfully, his eyes filled with reluctance: “I’m afraid… I will lose you.”
Pang Linqiu laughed at him for worrying too much, "How am I weak? Look at me, I'm as healthy as can be!" She flexed her biceps to show that she was in good health.
Peng Xuan'an was amused and pulled her into his arms, stroking her face a few times with his fingertips. Then, he touched nose to nose with hers and said affectionately, "I don't need that. Xiao Qiu is enough on her own."
"...But..." He was about to say something more.
"That's enough for today." He carried her to the bed, pressed her down on top of him, and let his long, dark hair fall over her.
Peng Xuan'an was about to consummate their marriage when Pang Linqiu pressed against his chest to stop him, saying, "But Xuan'an, I'm already two months pregnant..."
Startled, Peng Xuan'an hastily retreated, his brows furrowed as if facing a thorny problem. He put his clothes back on and grumbled as he straightened them.
He questioned, "After each act, I had someone prepare a contraceptive soup for you. Didn't you drink it?"
"Your mother has already changed the herbal medicine to one that helps maintain the pregnancy. Isn't the meaning obvious?"
Two months ago, Peng Xuan'an upset Pang Linqiu, so Pang Linqiu left the mansion with Peng Qiumo, but returned after her anger subsided.
Peng Xuan and An Mei were even more distressed, but dared not lash out. They could only grit their teeth, turn around, take out their tokens, and summon Luo Pu. They handed the tokens to Luo Pu and instructed him, "Summon the imperial physician from the palace."
The imperial physician was forced to visit late at night. He was busy taking Pang Linqiu's pulse on the bed while Peng Xuan'an stood by and watched.
Arms crossed, she said angrily, "Dr. Shen, I want to have an abortion."
Pang Linqiu disagreed and retorted, "Keep it."
Doctor Shen was unsure which side to choose. “Uh… Minister Peng, let me give you some advice. Your wife is already two months pregnant. If she were to have an abortion, there is a 70% chance she would die.”
He frowned, caught in a moment of hesitation. He dared not gamble with that 30% chance, but... if she gave birth, she might also die. But he really... really didn't want to lose her, didn't want her to suffer pain, didn't want her to go through another brush with death.
"Dr. Shen, her health is not suited for pregnancy. If she gives birth, can you really guarantee she won't die? Can you really guarantee she won't lose her lifespan?"
Imperial Physician Shen was taken aback. “This humble official cannot be certain. Childbirth is inherently a matter of life and death, giving birth to another new life. It depends on whether the lady can pull through and whether there is any hope for her survival.”
Peng Xuan'an suddenly felt a tightness in his chest, clenching his fists tightly. "What are the chances of him surviving?"
"If you take good care of your body, you can recover at most 60%."
Peng Xuan'an gritted his teeth, "Okay..."
Pang Linqiu glanced at him without interrupting, sensing that the atmosphere was off and there was no trace of joy in the air.
After obtaining several prescriptions for preventing miscarriage, Peng Xuan'an had Luo Pu send Imperial Physician Shen back, and sat by the bedside blaming himself.
"I'm sorry, I've made you suffer again." She covered her face with her hands, distressed.
Pang Linqiu didn't understand why he was so worried: "Are you... that afraid that I'll die?"
"I'm afraid! Of course I'm afraid! I'm even more afraid that you'll abandon me and leave me all alone in this world!"
Pang Linqiu felt inexplicably heartbroken and didn't know how to comfort her: "How could that be?... I still want to watch... Xiaoqiu grow up..."
Peng Xuan'an held her hand tightly, feeling her warmth and her presence. "Lin Qiu... promise me, don't leave me alone, okay?" His eyes were filled with sorrow, worry, and pleading; he truly didn't want to lose her.
Pang Linqiu smiled and nodded, "...Okay..."
The weather in the sweltering July was somewhat oppressive.
Pang Linqiu's due date has arrived again.
The unease and waiting persisted, and the pitiful cries from inside the house were piercing and heartbreaking, making one feel as if they were right there in the scene.
Peng Xuan'an covered Peng Qiu Mo's ears, but even though the transmission route was blocked, Peng Qiu Mo could still hear a little. She looked bewildered and frightened, clinging tightly to Peng Xuan'an's leg, tears welling in her eyes, "Daddy... Xiao Qiu... wants Mommy... Xiao Qiu feels... Mommy hurts so much..."
Peng Xuan'an knelt down and patted her head to comfort her: "Little Qiu, be good, Mommy will be alright... I won't..."
He was actually afraid, but he was even more afraid that his child would be traumatized.
The midwife came out with a sorrowful face, knowing it wouldn't bring good news. She bowed to Peng Xuan'an and his parents, her face covered in sweat and unease: "Sir, Master and Madam, the baby is breech. The first foot came out, so we're afraid we'll have to save the baby."
Sure enough, I'm facing this problem again.
Peng Xuan'an insisted on saving Pang Linqiu, saying, "Save the mother! We can give up the child!" He held Peng Qiumo tightly with one hand.
The midwife had been inside for a long time, and Pang Linqiu's voice gradually weakened. Xu fainted again...
The door opened again, and the midwife rushed in to report.
She pointed to the house, "My lord! Madam is hemorrhaging! The bleeding won't stop no matter what we do!" Then she cried sadly, "Madam is still breathing, my lord... please go and see her!"
Peng Xuan'an released Peng Qiumo's hand and rushed inside. She saw the midwives frantically trying to stop the bleeding. The basin and towels were stained with blood, and the room was filled with a strong, pungent stench that made it hard to breathe.
He rushed to Pang Linqiu's side and saw that her face was deathly pale, her pupils were unfocused, and she was lifeless.
Peng Xuan'an's eyes were filled with tears. He knelt beside Pang Linqiu, holding her hand tightly, and kept praying softly, "Don't leave me...don't leave me, Linqiu...please...don't go." He sobbed and pressed the back of her hand to his forehead, hoping she could hear him.
The midwife exclaimed joyfully, "It's born! It's born!"
The midwife exclaimed in surprise, "Ah! It's stillborn!"
"My lord! How could this be..."
"Get out of here, all of you! Get out!" he shouted angrily, his face contorted with rage.
A tear rolled down Pang Linqiu's cheek. Her vision was blurry, and she couldn't see anything clearly, but she felt her hand being warmly grasped. She turned her head, her vision blurred, but she knew who it was. She used all her strength to force herself to smile.
She shook her head and smiled bitterly, "...Please...don't die, Gu Haoqiu, Mo...adult..." She seemed to have used all her strength to finish this sentence in fits and starts.
She didn't say a word about him, only mentioning Peng Qiumo.
Peng Xuan'an watched as she smiled and closed her eyes, remaining unresponsive no matter how much he called out to her. Peng Qiu Mo also went to the bedside, crying and wailing, while Peng Xuan'an cried out in despair. He accused her of breaking her promise, of deceiving him, of how could she be so heartless?
After death, hearing is the last thing to disappear, perhaps because the person wants to hear the voices of their loved ones again, but they can only respond with tears.
Pang Linqiu wanted to open her eyes and look at them again, so that she would have no regrets.
The surrounding sounds gradually faded away, and she was able to open her eyes again; in the pitch blackness, a sudden flash of white light appeared.
When she opened her eyes again, she was back in the past, just like before. She lay on the edge of the bed, watching her mother leave, her mother's eyes filled with tears, filled with reluctance and a thousand emotions.
The Tang family, Tang Qi'an.
She lay weakly on the bed, raised her hand to touch little Pang Linqiu's head by the edge of the bed, and gave a knowing smile: "My little spring, Mother... I really, really want to stay by your side... cough cough..."
Little Pang Linqiu's eyes were red, and then she burst into tears, crying, "Mother, please don't go... Little Chuntian just wants you to be well, to be alright..."
She shook her head, her voice growing increasingly sorrowful: "But... Little Spring, if Mother doesn't leave soon... Little Spring won't live much longer... Mother only wants Little Spring to be well and happy..."
"But... Mother, now that you're gone, how can Little Spring be happy?"
Tang Qi'an froze, tears welling in her eyes, her beautiful face losing some of its radiance. She wiped away the tears from her face with trembling hands: "Little Chuntian, don't cry... Mother will always be with you..."
Ten-year-old Pang Linqiu burst into tears.
Tang Qi'an saw that the time given by the system was running out, and sighed deeply, "Little Chuntian, give your mother a kiss... okay? Just one... that's enough... Your mother doesn't ask for too much, she just wants to feel it properly... one more time..." Her breath grew weaker and weaker, and she could barely speak.
Pang Linqiu nodded, kissed Tang Qi'an, and wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes.
Tang Qi'an smiled, closed his eyes, and said, "Thank you..."
Tang Qi'an did not respond further, and Pang Linqiu buried her head and wept bitterly.
Hearing the crying, Tang Qi'an felt helpless and thought of her own daughter. How desperate her daughter must have been, how much she must have hated her as her mother.
That year she lost seventeen-year-old Pang Zhichun, and now she is about to lose ten-year-old Pang Zhichun, even though it's a world in a book. But the feelings are real; Zhichun and Zhichun are both her daughters.
She has now lost two daughters, a seventeen-year-old high school student and a ten-year-old daughter from her book.
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