wish
After Qin Mohe entered the mausoleum for some time, Pang Linqiu became listless day after day. A few days later, Peng Xuan'an dismissed his two concubines, and Pang Linqiu was furious, but there was nothing she could do about it. She was only angry for a few days, and life had to go on. She buried herself in official duties day after day, and Peng Xuan'an was often forced to sleep in a small room.
The day off was sunny.
Peng Xuan'an leisurely found Pang Linqiu. Pang Linqiu was busy handling official business. He leaned back in his chair, glancing down at the contents of the document a few times. Only after she closed the document did she slowly exhale a breath of relief, as if all her worries had been lifted.
She was twenty-one that year, and he was twenty-four.
Peng Xuan'an saw her happily bend down and approach her after she finished, picked up a strand of her hair that was draped over her shoulder, and rubbed it. He noticed a few silver strands that stood out against her brown hair, and he couldn't help but feel a pang of heartache.
“Madam, you…” He looked up at her cold profile, “Have you been unhappy lately?” His eyelashes trembled, and his deep eyes showed tenderness: “If you have something on your mind, you can tell me. You don’t have to keep it to yourself. That will only hurt you.”
"Hmm." He continued to coldly organize the folded documents.
He smiled wryly and said, "You're always like this, keeping things to yourself. You never tell me about the hardships and losses you suffer."
I don't want to involve anyone in my affairs.
"But I am your husband..."
"..." I didn't want to talk to them.
"You've changed..." He lowered his eyes sadly, a strand of hair moving between his fingertips. He brought the hair to his nose and sniffed it. "How come..."
Before he could finish speaking, Pang Linqiu suddenly stood up, and Peng Xuan'an stared at her.
She folded all the blue folds together, lifted her long hair, and walked to the bronze mirror. She tidied her tired face, simply tied her loose hair into a low ponytail.
Peng Xuan'an also walked over and stood behind her.
The pale yellow bronze mirror reflected his slender figure.
"Where are you planning to go?" He asked, curious as he watched her hurriedly tidy her face and hair.
"Enter the palace," she replied simply.
She stood up, straightened her clothes, and prepared to turn around and leave.
Peng Xuan'an stopped her, "Why are you going to the palace?"
"Go see someone." She glanced at him unhappily.
"You come to the palace once a week, what is it for?" He frowned. When Qin Mohe was still alive, he thought that every time she came to the palace, it was to see him or to find Shu An. But now that they were both gone, who was she going to see with her frequent visits to the palace?
She impatiently repeated, "Meet someone."
"Mo He is gone, who do you want to see?"
Mentioning Qin Mohe seemed to touch a sensitive spot for Pang Linqiu, who frowned deeply. "I want to see Consort Ling! Are you satisfied?"
"..." He paused for a moment, then lowered his hand from hers. "What do you want with her?"
"Get to the point!" she said impatiently, quickening her pace to leave, leaving Peng Xuan'an alone, feeling inexplicably uneasy.
Inside the palace, in the Hall of State Affairs.
The emperor sat on a soft, large chair, listening attentively to her report. In the spacious and luxurious hall, she stood on a red carpet, delivering her report with masterful fluency, repeating the same tasks over and over again.
"Your Majesty, I have handled all the matters in the regions Your Majesty has instructed. There are no longer any impoverished areas in the Kingdom of Tao. In just a short time, the people's basic needs will be met. Your Majesty only needs to reduce taxes in these regions within these three years and allocate fertile land to the landless so that they can have enough to eat by next autumn's harvest. Your Majesty should focus on developing agriculture and commerce during these years, and the Kingdom of Tao will not be far from a golden age."
The emperor nodded in delight, "Very good."
“With a stable source of revenue, people can live and work in peace and contentment, and the country will also prosper.” She took out a folded document from her bosom, bowed respectfully, raised her hands, and presented the document to the emperor: “Your Majesty, this is the result of my efforts over the past five years. I have opened shops in various places, and the monthly profit can reach one million, all of which I have deposited into the national treasury. This is the account book, and I hope Your Majesty will take a look.”
The emperor looked at his personal eunuch beside him and said, "Bring it here."
The eunuch descended the steps, took the memorial from her hand, and presented it to the emperor at a leisurely pace. The emperor merely flipped through a few pages, then chuckled with satisfaction, praising her: "I never imagined that Xuan'an would marry such a fine woman as you. Such a talented person is an honor to my Tao Kingdom."
"Your Majesty is too kind. I am merely making amends for my past mistakes."
"Very well, Linqiu is so talented, why not relieve my worries?"
"Your Majesty, please speak."
"I am troubled by the strained relations between the Tao Kingdom and the Lan Kingdom, which are nearing the point of resorting to war. The military officials in the court all agree to attack, while the civil officials choose peace and actively seek reconciliation. What are your thoughts?"
Pang Linqiu moved her eyes and pondered for a while. "Your Majesty need not worry too much. Although the military strength of Tao Kingdom and Lan Kingdom is evenly matched, Tao Kingdom has a chance of winning. However, Tao Kingdom is just beginning to enter a period of prosperity. A rash attack will only cause suffering to the people and wither the buds of prosperity."
"Why don't we befriend the Lan Kingdom and become allies? That way we can support each other in the future. We can also arrange marriages to strengthen the bond between our rulers. Furthermore, we can trade with them to boost our economy and gain a better understanding of the Lan Kingdom's situation."
The emperor laughed, the crisp applause clearly indicating his satisfaction with the decision. "Excellent." He then shook his head and sighed softly, glancing at her, "What a pity..."
Pang Linqiu looked up at him, thinking he was dissatisfied, "Why did Your Majesty sigh? Is it because you are unhappy with this decision?"
The emperor shook his head. "I am very satisfied."
"Then why does Your Majesty sigh? Please tell me, and I am willing to share Your Majesty's worries."
Do you know what I'm sighing about?
"I don't know."
"I sigh at your talent, it's a pity you're a woman."
Pang Linqiu was stunned for a moment, her heart filled with complex emotions.
"If you were a man, how wonderful that would be. If you were a man, I would certainly appoint you to a high official position. Then you and Xuan'an would be friends in the same court, sharing the burdens of the world with me."
"But you are a woman, so you can only be a wife or concubine and bear children."
Pang Linqiu, an introverted woman, felt a mix of emotions, but mostly sadness. She replied with a somber face, "Your Majesty, the desire to serve one's country transcends gender. I merely wish to prove that women's talents are no less than men's."
The emperor's expression darkened slightly, and he only managed a weak "Mm".
"I remember your contributions to the Tao Kingdom. Just tell me what reward you want."
Pang Linqiu cupped her hands and knelt respectfully, saying, "Your Majesty, Linqiu asks for no reward; I have come today only to fulfill my wish." She changed her self-reference from "your subject" to her own courtesy name.
The emperor asked curiously, "Oh?" and looked down at her kneeling on the ground. "What is your wish?" He had long forgotten the promise he had made.
Pang Linqiu could only manage a wry smile. "His Majesty is so busy with state affairs that it's common for him to forget such trivial matters."
In the emperor's eyes, such a promise was just a trivial matter, but in her eyes it was different; it was freedom.
"His Majesty promised Linqiu that once these areas were dealt with, he would agree to a peaceful divorce between Linqiu and Peng Xuan'an."
The emperor's expression darkened at the mention of divorce. He looked troubled, seemingly reluctant to discuss the matter. After a long pause, he asked, "You and Xuan'an have been husband and wife for five years. Do you truly have no feelings for each other whatsoever, and are you determined to divorce?"
Pang Linqiu shook her head. "Your Majesty, Linqiu and Xuan'an have no marital feelings for each other." She said casually.
He fell into thought.
He knew that Xuan An was deeply in love with him and probably couldn't extricate himself. He didn't know why Pang Linqiu was so indifferent after five years, and even said that she had no feelings for him as a wife. In these five years, Xuan An had changed a lot for her.
He once invited Peng Xuan'an to stroll in the garden and relax, and to sit in the pavilion and talk about national affairs, but now he has long since disappeared, and every word he utters mentions her.
How could she be so heartless? She didn't even notice what Xuan An had done.
The emperor was somewhat annoyed, "Do you really not care about the feelings you've shared over the past five years?"
"I won't read it." Resolutely.
He couldn't do anything about her, but he did agree to her request.
Forcing them to divorce abruptly would only hurt him, and he hadn't done anything to wrong her. Now he only had two choices before him: divorce, which would strain the relationship between ruler and subject, and the people would lament that he had broken up a good couple, making him the villain who broke up the lovers.
Not leaving would only be a breach of promise, damaging to his imperial aura. The impact wouldn't be significant; he could compensate her in another way.
He planned to try and persuade her to change her mind: "Is it because Xuan'an treats you badly?"
"Your Majesty, it's very good."
"Then why divorce?"
"Your Majesty, if it is not someone you love, it is impossible to stay together for long; separation is inevitable."
"At your age, even becoming a concubine would be extremely difficult if you were to divorce. Are you really sure you want a divorce?"
Pang Linqiu finally understood that the emperor's roundabout way of speaking had a clear meaning: he wanted to persuade her not to leave.
"Your Majesty, Linqiu wishes to shave her head and become a nun, never to set foot in the secular world again."
The Emperor flew into a rage, slamming his fist on the table and rising to his feet. His patience had run out: "I intend to give you some advice, Pang Linqiu, don't be so ungrateful!"
The emperor's imposing aura instantly filled the hall, making it difficult for everyone to breathe.
She was furious and looked up at the person on the stage, "Your Majesty, the supreme ruler, are you going to break your promise?"
"How dare you!" he roared.
Pang Linqiu hurriedly kowtowed, "Your Majesty, please calm your anger! Your health is of utmost importance!"
The eunuch standing nearby also stepped forward to appease her, "Your Majesty, please calm down. Madam Peng certainly did not mean it."
The emperor suppressed his raging anger, sat down, and forced himself to calm down. "Do you know how much Xuan An has done for you? Do you know that he gave up the power of a million soldiers for you, willingly choosing a civil post? Do you know that for you, he took the initiative to..."
“Your Majesty, Linqiu knows everything.” She interrupted, still determined to leave, raising her voice, “But! Your Majesty, does Linqiu feel happy and unable to leave him simply because of what he has done?”
The emperor was taken aback. "Isn't that right?"
Pang Linqiu was heartbroken. "Your Majesty! Does everything he does, as long as it involves my name, mean it's all for my own good? But! Your Majesty, I didn't ask him to do it, nor did I force him to spend time with me!"
"What he did belongs to someone else. Just because a woman's name is involved, does that mean it's necessarily a woman's doing? It's like someone accidentally killing someone and adding an innocent person's name to their confession. Does that make the innocent person guilty?"
The emperor remained silent.
“Your Majesty, I deserve half the credit for Xuan An’s transfer to civil service, but this… (Isn’t this what you wanted?) was also requested by his parents. I know he listens to me and will do everything I can to make it happen.”
"If Your Majesty blames me for this, I will go back and persuade him to return to martial arts, and I will not try to dissuade him again."
The emperor shook his head and softened his tone, "No need. I do not agree to the divorce. Whatever compensation you want, just name it."
"I only ask for my freedom, to leave him quietly."
The emperor questioned, "Is Xuan'an really that despicable? That you hate her so much?"
"Your Majesty, please grant the wish of all the women of this nation!"
The situation reached a stalemate, and the emperor's face grew increasingly grim. The eunuch beside him pleaded with Pang Linqiu not to be so stubborn and to stop while she was ahead. Pang Linqiu remained kneeling on the ground without raising her head.
"Then let me ask you, who is the person you love?" He wanted to know who it was that made her so devoted.
She was silent for a moment before replying, "Your Majesty, the person I loved..." She hesitated, not daring to utter the name Qin Mohe, "He was buried a few months ago and is no longer among us."
"..." The emperor's expression was complicated, and he began to find fault: "As Xuan An's wife, instead of thinking about how to serve him well, you think about your so-called lover every day. Where is your wifely virtue?!"
"This humble woman confesses her crime!"
After going around in circles without any results, she said in despair, "Your Majesty, I no longer ask for a divorce. I beg Your Majesty to grant me death. After my death, I hope Your Majesty will... find someone similar to me for Xuan'an, so that he may... seek death."
The emperor remained silent. Although he was angry, he still had to prioritize the overall situation, especially Peng Xuan'an's feelings.
After thinking it over, he decided it would be best to let the two of them stay a little longer, and softened his tone: "You and Xuan An have been married for five years, and in these five years, you have not given birth to a child for him. Is that your problem?"
She simply didn't want to leave any lingering feelings; if she had a child with him, she would find it difficult to extricate herself: "Your Majesty, it is my fault. I even arranged for him to take several concubines, but he dismissed them all..."
"He loves you so much, how could he bear to let someone else take your place?"
“What Your Majesty said is true…” Her voice was low.
"It's not that I disagree with your divorce, it's just..." He paused.
She looked up at him, her eyes shining with hope: "Your Majesty, please speak freely."
"I only ask that you bear him a son so that the Peng family bloodline can continue, and I will allow you to divorce him. How about it?"
The hope in Pang Linqiu's eyes was extinguished once again. She stood there stunned, her body trembling with resentment, and had no choice but to reluctantly agree: "Your subject... obeys the decree..."
The emperor waved his hand, "I am tired, you may leave."
Pang Linqiu, as if she had lost her soul, slowly rose, bowed, and left the hall.
As she walked out of the hall and into the palace path, she was lost in thought and completely oblivious to her surroundings.
"lady."
Hearing the familiar voice, Pang Linqiu turned around and saw it was him! She felt annoyed.
Peng Xuan'an leaned against the vermilion wall, arms crossed, watching her. He seemed to have been waiting for her for quite some time. With a gentle smile, he approached her curiously. "Madam, what are you doing here?"
What are you doing here?
He chuckled softly, "Looking for you."
Pang Linqiu recalled her conversation with His Majesty and felt annoyed just seeing him, so she turned and left.
Peng Xuan'an hurriedly followed, wondering what he had done to offend her. "I went to the Imperial Concubine's residence to look for you, but she said she hadn't seen you and that you should be in the Hall of State Affairs, so I came looking for you."
Pang Linqiu slowed her pace, clenching her fists to suppress her anger, her knuckles cracking. She was so annoyed, so miserable. She hated his existence, yet she was forced into a relationship with him.
Peng Xuan'an noticed that she was in a bad mood, so he stopped talking about the matter of the Hall of State Affairs and stayed by her side.
"My lady, I've found a place to relax. I'll ask His Majesty for leave tomorrow." He took her hand, their fingers intertwined. "Let's go sightseeing, enjoy the beautiful scenery, just the two of us, shall we?"
She tried to break free from his hand, but her sadness made her lose the will to do so, and she gave up.
“I…” she refused.
He tightened his grip on her hand and pleaded, "Stay with me, okay?"
“…Fine…” she sighed, and finally agreed.
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