Chapter 35: Is the fear of loss greater than the desire to gain?
The experience of self-relaxation and Liang Huaixu helping her are completely different.
His fingers were long and nimble, able to precisely control every point she touched, not to mention the stimulation from the calluses on his hands as he held the pen.
In addition to physical sensations, there is also visual satisfaction: slightly red ears, the rhythm of his arm muscles, and the restrained intensity in his eyes.
It is under his guidance that one truly experiences exhilaration.
After the ultimate pleasure comes a feeling of satiated exhaustion.
Listening to her long, even breaths, Liang Huaixu knelt awkwardly on the bed, his back slightly hunched, like a beast that had just finished hunting, his hands hanging on the quilt with long, thin silver threads.
He pulled out a tissue, wiped the water stains off the hawthorn berries, glanced indifferently at the purple butterfly-patterned underwear lying to the side, hesitated for two seconds, and then took it to the bathroom.
After washing her, I helped her hang her clothes to dry under the air conditioner.
Then, he randomly picked one from her suitcase and changed her into it.
I haven't slept well these past few days, not to mention I stayed up all night last night.
Seeing that the rain outside had completely stopped, Liang Huaixu relaxed a little.
I lay down on the bed and fell asleep almost instantly the moment my head hit the pillow.
-
At 10 a.m., Zhuang Fuyao woke up from her nap.
She felt much lighter this time, and her strength gradually returned. She got out of bed to wash up, and when she looked in the mirror, she suddenly remembered the dream she had just had, and her eyes became more shimmering.
She even dreamt that she and Liang Huaixu were using the terms "young lady" and "housekeeper" to address each other, and that she was even served by Liang Huaixu, who was playing the role of the housekeeper...
Just thinking about it for a moment, I couldn't help but feel a dampness between my legs.
She shook her head, quickly washed her face, and snapped out of her erotic dream.
Back in bed, she looked at Liang Huaixu's sleeping face and sighed regretfully. If only this wasn't a dream.
She even said she would stay at a guesthouse to cultivate their relationship and then take him down, but she ended up pitifully catching a cold and fever.
Achoo!
She quickly pulled out a tissue, wiped her nose, and when she threw it away, she saw that there were many tissues in the trash can.
She glanced at it but didn't think much of it.
When Liang Huaixu woke up, vehicles could already pass through outside, and many workers and volunteers wearing life jackets were helping to drain the water.
They cut their vacation short and took the nearest flight back to Jiang City.
That evening, after Zhuang Fuyao finished her bath, Aunt Yuan brought her her medicine and said, "Miss Zhuang, the master has gone out and said he won't be back until later."
Where did he go?
"The gentleman didn't say anything, he just told you to rest well and that the family doctor would come to check on you later."
"Mmm." Zhuang Fuyao nodded thoughtfully. "Then, Sister Yuan, you should go and rest first."
"You haven't taken your medicine yet."
"...I'll leave it here and let it cool before I drink it."
Aunt Yuan smiled helplessly, "Then I'll leave after you finish drinking."
Before leaving, the gentleman specifically instructed her to watch Miss Zhuang take her medicine. At that time, she was still thinking that the gentleman might be going too far.
Miss Zhuang didn't seem like someone who needed to be coaxed to take medicine. Besides, she didn't cry; she swallowed the cold medicine in one go.
Looking at it now, it really is true.
She suspected that if she didn't see Miss Zhuang drink it with her own eyes, the medicine would probably end up in the trash after she left.
Having her little scheme exposed, Zhuang Fuyao frowned, looking quite troubled.
"Do you really want to drink it?"
Aunt Yuan nodded seriously.
Zhuang Fuyao sighed, "Do you have any candy?"
"Yes, there is." Aunt Yuan handed over the candy her husband had prepared, speaking in a tone that coaxed a child, "If you don't take medicine, it will be hard for your cold to get better, and you'll have to get injections if it gets worse."
Zhuang Fuyao, masked in pain, declared, "I'll drink!"
Half an hour later, the family doctor arrived. After examining her, he reported to Liang Huaixu: "Mr. Liang, Ms. Zhuang is fine. It's just a common cold and tonsillitis. The inflammation has mostly subsided. She just needs to focus on keeping warm and maintaining a proper diet."
Liang Huaixu: [Okay, I understand. Thank you for your hard work.]
After replying to the message, he placed his phone face down on the table.
Beside him, Dr. Guo was still analyzing, "According to what you said, it's because Miss Zhuang has amnesia, so do you think that getting back together with her at this time would be taking advantage of her vulnerability?"
Liang Huaixu nodded, his expression unclear.
"It depends on what she thinks. If her memory is stuck in her twenties, which, according to your description, was when you had just gotten married and your relationship was at its best, then as long as she's willing, and it's a matter of mutual affection, it can't be considered taking advantage of someone in a vulnerable state..."
“But I’m not confident I can give her the love she wants. If I can’t give her what she wants, wouldn’t it be better to let her go? She’s only in her twenties in terms of mental age, and she can totally date someone younger.” Liang Huaixu laughed self-deprecatingly as he said this. “These past few years, I’ve only worked, and I don’t really know much about having fun. Last time I played a game with her, I was quite a killjoy… In terms of thinking, I’m becoming an old-fashioned person.”
Liang Huaixu never thought there was anything wrong with this before; he often felt a sense of accomplishment in his self-disciplined life and work.
But things are different now.
His focus was entirely on her.
Seeing how vibrant she is, while he feels unable to connect with her, he experiences a sense of inferiority.
"But Mr. Liang, you are not a fish, how can you know the fish's joy? You are not her, so how do you know that you are not the kind of love she wants? Besides, with your wealth, knowledge, and feelings for her, if you can't give her what she wants, how can you be sure that someone else can? And to be honest, right now, Mr. Liang's type is very popular."
Liang Huaixu chuckled softly, taking it as a consolation, and continued, "Besides these, there are also my own factors. I've already lost her once. If I take this step and lose her again, I don't know if I can bear it."
Dr. Guo thought about this question.
"Well then, Mr. Liang, let's make a hypothetical scenario. Imagine if you completely let go, and Miss Zhuang started a new relationship with another man, how would you feel?"
Liang Huaixu thought about it for a moment, then frowned.
Dr. Guo added, "In order to receive better treatment, you need to express your truest thoughts, not what you expect to hear."
After calming down, Liang Huaixu said, "My ideal state is to fulfill and bless her, but in practice, I may not be able to be so generous. I will feel sad, even very sad, and I will also feel jealous and envious of that man... But I will control these emotions and silently bless her."
"What if that man hurts her? For example, by cheating, having an affair, emotional abuse, or even domestic violence."
Liang Huaixu narrowed his eyes dangerously and said coldly, "He will make him pay the price."
“Even if that man pays the price, Ms. Zhuang has suffered real harm.” Based on this, Dr. Guo asked, “While you cannot guarantee that Ms. Zhuang will be happy if you are with her, is it possible that you could intentionally harm her?”
Liang Huaixu said without hesitation, "Impossible."
Dr. Guo: "So Mr. Liang, you don't need to doubt yourself... Your depression and anxiety both stem from Ms. Zhuang. The one who tied the knot must untie it. Your reconciliation with Ms. Zhuang is actually helpful to your condition."
Liang Huaixu replied with restraint and rationality, "When it becomes uncontrollable, I will choose to take medication."
Dr. Guo paused for a moment, then pointed out the problem incisively, "So you'd rather take medication than bravely pursue love again?"
Liang Huaixu did not give a direct answer.
"Okay, I think I understand." Dr. Guo poured him a cup of tea. "The question and answer session is temporarily suspended. Please take a rest."
Soothing music was playing in the room.
Dr. Guo wrote the medical record on the computer. About fifteen minutes later, he said, "Your current situation is a typical case of 'fear of loss outweighing desire for gain'."
"Is the fear of losing greater than the desire to gain?"
"Yes, ultimately, it's because you love Miss Zhuang too much. If that's the case, why not give her the choice?"
"Moreover, medications for depression have side effects, one of which is their impact on reproductive function." Dr. Guo pushed up his glasses and said tactfully, "We've known each other for five years. As a friend, I suggest you choose the brighter path and don't suppress yourself too much."
……
That night, Liang Huaixu thought a lot, recalling the warmth of their time together and his restrained repression, while also pondering what Dr. Guo had said.
At five o'clock in the morning, after several hours of hard work, the congested pipes were finally cleared and illuminated.
After countless attempts to deny it, I was forced to confront my own heart.
He let out a sigh of relief.
So he still can't let go, whether out of personal reasons or consideration for her future. He really finds it hard to entrust her to another person.
Just thinking about it makes me feel restless and anxious.
After figuring it out, Liang Huaixu turned on the light, sat up, found some photos they had taken in Yunnan Province, and posted them on his WeChat Moments.
It can be seen as a symbol of his breaking through mental constraints.
-
After being forced to work overtime for two days by Lao Liang, Liang Chaoluo, like a wild horse set free, took Shu Run out to play for a few days.
It's October 6th now, and we'll be working overtime again in two days. It's like a revenge-style entertainment; their schedule is packed today.
At seven o'clock in the morning, he and Shurun went downstairs to have breakfast at the hotel.
While casually scrolling through Lao Liang's WeChat Moments, Liang Chaoluo paused for a moment and asked, "Baby, do you have an eyeglass cloth in your bag?"
"No, would wet wipes be okay?"
"Alright."
Liang Chaoluo took the wet wipe, wiped his glasses, and after confirming that he wasn't seeing things, he couldn't help but blurt out a phrase about national essence.
Shu Run asked in confusion, "Did your boss call you back to work overtime again?"
“No, it’s my dad.” Liang Chaoluo said incredulously, “He made me work two extra days during the National Day holiday and went on a trip to another province by himself.”
Liang Chaoluo has complained about working overtime at least eight or ten times.
Shu Run chuckled, "Uncle is training you, and it's for your own good."
"No, no, no, that's all secondary. You know what the most important thing is? My dad hasn't traveled in years, but this time he actually climbed a snow mountain and even posted photos on his WeChat Moments. Before this, his WeChat Moments was practically a robot, full of business information and forwarded government policies. He's never posted such a down-to-earth post before."
Liang Chaolu analyzed the photos very meticulously, "Although he only appeared from behind, the angle and composition clearly showed that he had a lot of photography experience. I don't need to guess to know that it was taken by my soon-to-be stepmother."
Shu Run choked for a moment, "A future stepmother?"
Liang Chaoluo nodded heavily. "There's something I didn't have time to tell you: I might have a stepmother..."
Stepmother?
Shu Run asked, "Where did Uncle go on vacation?"
Liang Chaoluo: "Yun Province".
Shu Run breathed a huge sigh of relief, which startled her.
If it's Yunnan Province, plus climbing snow-capped mountains, then Uncle Liang was probably traveling with Sister Fuyao.
For some reason, Liang Chaoluo seems unaware of this matter, and that it involves a stepmother.
According to him, his future stepmother has already moved in with his father.
But as far as she knew, it was clearly Sister Fuyao who lived with Uncle Liang.
A hint of unease flashed across Shu Run's face.
She and Sister Fuyao had made a pact to keep each other's affairs a secret. So she couldn't tell Liang Chaoluo either.
Seeing her brows furrowed slightly, Liang Chaoluo assumed she was worried about their situation, so he quickly took her hand and said gently, "Don't worry too much, it won't affect our relationship. As long as my mother agrees, my father won't pose any threat, let alone my stepmother."
"..."
Shu Run forced a smile.
After comforting his girlfriend, Liang Chaoluo sighed inwardly.
Originally, it didn't matter to Lao Liang whether he found a new lover or a stepmother.
But now two unexpected events have occurred.
One is that Ms. Zhuang has amnesia, and the other is that Lao Liang is like an old tree sprouting new leaves. Now, thinking about those incongruous decorations, the scratches on Lao Liang's chest, and letting the other party live on the third floor... it's still a bit hard to believe.
All signs indicate that Lao Liang has the potential to be a romantic at heart.
Liang Chaoluo thought of Ms. Zhuang again.
What if Ms. Zhuang still has feelings for Lao Liang because of amnesia? Wouldn't that be very distressing? And if that woman doesn't get along with Ms. Zhuang, whose side will Lao Liang take?
The more I think about it, the more worried I get.
Knowing yourself and your enemy is the key to victory in every battle.
He felt it was time for him to meet the woman on the third floor.
-
During her two days of rest at home, Zhuang Fuyao was forced to eat very bland food.
After much anticipation, the National Day holiday finally ended, and Liang Huaixu went back to work.
She sent a message to Aunt Yuan, asking them not to prepare lunch for her, and then happily ordered a bowl of snail rice noodles.
There were surveillance cameras installed on the first floor, although she didn't think Liang Huaixu would be so heartless as to check the surveillance footage just to control her diet.
But just in case, she still took the snail rice noodles to the third floor to eat.
Add fried eggs, braised chicken feet, and pig's trotters to snail rice noodles. With these ingredients, it's more delicious than any delicacy.
Zhuang Fuyao started eating snail rice noodles because Song Qing introduced her to it.
That day, Song Qing brought a lot of food to the restaurant to find them, one of which was snail rice noodles.
Zhuang Fuyao was disgusted. No matter how much they praised the snail rice noodles, she didn't believe it could smell good.
Later, an employee who had never eaten snail rice noodles before tried it and exclaimed that it was incredibly delicious.
Zhuang Fuyao then became a little curious.
Song Qing and Cheng Fan kept urging her to try it, saying it was like stinky tofu, only it smelled bad but tasted good.
"...I've never eaten stinky tofu either."
"It doesn't matter, it's just incredibly delicious anyway."
At their urging, Zhuang Fuyao pinched her nose and tried it. She was immediately amazed. The soup was chewy and delicious, and the fried egg soaking in the soup was also very flavorful.
After taking one bite, Zhuang Fuyao ate several more bites, seemingly still wanting more.
From then on, she would order one every few days.
The smell of snail rice noodles was a bit too strong; it wasn't really suitable to eat in the room.
Zhuang Fuyao looked around and finally chose to eat at a small table and chairs on the third-floor balcony. While eating, she texted her friends: "Waaaaah, the patient can finally eat this!"
at the same time
Liang Chaoluo took a special leave of absence, planning to go home and launch a surprise visit to meet his future stepmother.
When he got to the bottom of the main building, he smelled a very foul odor.
He called the gardener over and asked, "What fertilizer do you use?"
The gardener said somewhat reservedly, "Young Master Chaoluo, we did not fertilize today."
No fertilizer was applied?
After letting the person go, he glanced at the ground, puzzled.
Is the drain clogged?
After he entered the main building, he sent a message to Aunt Yuan, asking her to come over.
"What's wrong, Young Master Chaoluo?" After receiving the message, Aunt Yuan rushed over, thinking something had happened.
"Aunt Yuan, where is she?"
Aunt Yuan's heart skipped a beat. "Who?"
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