Chapter 39, page 39: "In the bedside table drawer."
Her eyelashes trembled uncontrollably.
Meng Ran stood there helplessly, letting the man's lips press against her tear-soaked cheek.
It was an extremely pure kiss; Chen Sulin made no unnecessary movements and did not try to turn it into a real kiss.
He simply kissed away her tears quietly.
She went from initial anxiety to gradually relaxing her tense back, and finally to complete calm.
Chen Sulin's lips slowly parted.
Meng Ran opened her eyes and met those dark eyes that were like a deep pool.
"I..." she said in a muffled voice, "I didn't mean to cry."
Chen Sulin's voice was low and soft: "Yes, I know."
Meng Ran: "I don't understand why I'm crying either..."
Chen Sulin: "I know."
Meng Ran: "I don't like to cry, and I rarely cried before."
Chen Sulin said gently, "I know."
Meng Ran: "..."
Chen Sulin's tone was calm and gentle. He didn't say anything, but somehow it made her want to cry again.
Meng Ran didn't know where this impulse came from.
As if tears that had been accumulating for many years suddenly burst forth without warning in front of Chen Sulin.
Meng Ran bit her lip tightly, not wanting the tears to fall any further.
The more she tried to suppress it, the more the soreness in her chest swelled up like a balloon, until it made it difficult for her to even breathe.
Many images that shouldn't have appeared at this time flashed through my mind for no reason.
When I was eight years old, my mother suddenly fainted and was taken to the hospital.
A few days later, outside the ward, a relative she had barely met before called her aside and told her that the doctor had given her mother a diagnosis of having at most six months to live.
Meng Ran still remembers the expression on that man's face. In addition to obvious sadness and sympathy, there was also a strange expectation, as if he hoped that she would do something he wanted after hearing the news.
She just stared blankly at the relative, as if she hadn't understood anything, until the other person left in disappointment.
At that moment, she had no idea that her life before the age of eighteen would be divided into two completely different halves: the first half was sunny and bright, while the second half was shrouded in dark clouds.
Then there were the various faces at her mother's funeral, their genuine or feigned grief, their gazes directed at her, and their deliberately hushed whispers.
All the memories that Meng Ran thought she had buried deep in her heart began to bubble up again.
The scene before her eyes played out like an old-fashioned slide projector, until she felt a pair of warm, strong hands put their arms around her shoulders.
Meng Ran awoke from her nightmarish memories and looked up at him in a daze.
Chen Sulin said in a low voice, "It's okay to cry, no one outside can hear us."
One sentence completely extinguished Meng Ran's will to resist.
She took a deep breath, finally letting go of her inhibitions and allowing the tears in her eyes to stream down her face.
Perhaps because she was used to not showing her sadness, even when she finally managed to cry, she made almost no sound, only sobbing softly.
Chen Sulin didn't speak, but occasionally used his fingertips to stroke the corners of her eyes and cheeks, wiping away her tears.
After an unknown amount of time, Meng Ran calmed down.
Chen Sulin then released his arm from her body, went to the desk, grabbed a few tissues, and handed them to her.
Meng Ran took it.
After she wiped away her tears, Chen Sulin reached out and took the tissue from her hand.
Chen Sulin: "Sit down for a while, I'll get you a glass of water."
Meng Ran hummed in response, her voice slightly hoarse.
She stared blankly as Chen Sulin walked out of the study, her mind almost completely blank.
After crying, I didn't have the energy to think about anything for a while.
It wasn't until Chen Sulin walked in with a glass of water and handed it to her that she understood.
Meng Ran took it and drank a very small sip.
Hot water at just the right temperature, not scalding.
Meng Ran looked at Chen Sulin: "I cried just now... not entirely because of you."
Chen Sulin looked down at her, his eyes gentle: "Mm."
Meng Ran: "...It's not because of my stepmother and my father, Zhao Yanzhou, Shang Yue, or any other random people."
Chen Sulin: "I know."
Meng Ran couldn't help but twitch her lips slightly: "I've wanted to say this for a long time, is 'I know' your catchphrase? Why do you always say those three words?"
Chen Sulin: "You don't like me saying that?"
Meng Ran blinked, thought seriously for a few seconds, and shook her head.
She doesn't dislike it; on the contrary, those three words sometimes make her feel at ease.
Chen Sulin: "That's good then."
Meng Ran chuckled.
He really doesn't say a single word of nonsense.
Meng Ran drank a few more sips of water, and her throat finally stopped feeling dry.
Chen Sulin took the water glass she had drunk from, put it on the table, and then came back to sit next to her.
Neither of them spoke.
There were a few times when Meng Ran had the urge to speak up and explain.
She said that she was thinking of her mother and the tragedy that happened when she was a child.
The words were on the tip of my tongue, but then I felt they weren't necessary.
I might as well just sit here quietly.
After a long silence, Chen Sulin broke the silence: "Is there anything else you want to ask me about what happened in the past?"
Meng Ran looked at him with surprise.
What's wrong with this person? Before, they were always so slow, like squeezing toothpaste, only giving reluctant answers when asked.
Now you're suddenly being so proactive again.
Seeing through her thoughts, Chen Sulin said helplessly, "You've already cried so much because of those things, what's the point of me avoiding the topic?"
Meng Ran: "...I cried, not entirely because of what happened before and after our wedding."
Chen Sulin: "It makes no difference to me."
Meng Ran: "..."
She still couldn't understand him.
Meng Ran: "You didn't want to tell me before because... you didn't want to see me cry?"
Chen Sulin: "More or less."
Meng Ran recalled his words: "Is it also because...you don't want me to be grateful to you or repay you?"
Chen Sulin's eyes flickered, and he answered irrelevantly, "I thought you were more curious about what happened back then than what I thought."
Meng Ran pursed her lips.
She wanted to know both things.
Judging from his appearance, this man will not easily reveal his true thoughts.
Perhaps there was a moment just now when he wanted to say something, but at least now, he has once again become the Chen Sulin she knows.
Meng Ran: "Shang Yue said I lost my job and was kicked out by the landlord... All of this is because my stepmother caused trouble?"
Chen Sulin: "That's the case as far as I know."
Meng Ran: "What...did she do?"
Chen Sulin: "We'll put up banners outside your company and apartment building, saying that your grandmother is sick and that you would rather use your ex-boyfriend's money to buy yourself jewelry than pay for your grandmother's medical treatment."
Meng Ran took a deep breath.
That's exactly the kind of thing that woman would do.
Chen Sulin: "There are other underhanded methods, but there's not much to say about them."
Meng Ran: "...Hmm."
"Then you..." she asked again, "how did you get her to give up?"
Chen Sulin said calmly, "She wants money, and what she fears most is losing money. If she continues, she will not only gain nothing, but may also lose what she already has, so she will naturally give up."
Meng Ran: "..."
Yes, the reasoning is actually quite simple, and she probably thought of it back then too.
However, as a recent graduate and newcomer to the workforce, she had no power or influence, and even if she could think of something, she was powerless to do anything about it.
Asking for more details is pointless; it only means seeing more of those ugly faces.
She remembered another sentence Shang Yue had said.
Meng Ran: "When I married you before, weren't you worried about being criticized by the Zhao family and others?"
Chen Sulin smiled and said, "I've been criticized for many things, and I've accepted even the more serious ones, so why would I accept this one?"
Meng Ran remained silent.
She recalled that day at the dessert shop when Zhao Yanzhou said that Chen Sulin was able to seize power from his biological father and illegitimate son.
Seeing that she didn't speak, Chen Sulin raised his hand and tucked the stray hairs behind her ear.
Meng Ran couldn't help but hold her breath.
Even after more intimate contact, such actions still make her heart race.
Chen Sulin: "Anything else? Anything you want to ask me?"
Meng Ran moved her lips.
Of course.
She wanted to ask him if he had really been looking for her all those years she was missing.
I wanted to ask him why he had kept that doll on his bedside table so well.
But Meng Ran felt that there was no need to ask anymore.
She always knew the answer, didn't she?
It's just that I'm afraid to believe it, which is why I keep running away.
Meng Ran: "I..."
A series of "tap tap tap" footsteps came from outside the door.
Immediately afterward, a child's innocent voice pierced through the study door: "Mom, Dad, are you in there?"
Meng Ran looked at Chen Sulin, a hint of panic flashing in her eyes.
She lost track of time, and Chen Miaoying would always look for her parents after class.
Chen Sulin gave her a reassuring look and replied, "Wait a moment, Mom and Dad will be out soon."
After he finished answering his daughter, Meng Ran whispered, "Aren't my eyes very swollen? It's obvious I've been crying."
She rubbed her eyes: "What should I do? Would it feel better if I applied some cool water? What do you think?"
Chen Sulin: "..."
“No need,” he said calmly. “I’ll go and talk to Miaoying.”
Chen Sulin patted the back of her hand and stood up.
Meng Ran was too late to stop him and watched helplessly as Chen Sulin went to open the door.
"Dad has something he wants to talk to you about alone." Chen Sulin stroked his daughter's hair. "Let's go to your room first, and then Mom will come over to keep you company later, okay?"
Seeing that Chen Sulin had coaxed Chen Miaoying back, Meng Ran breathed a sigh of relief.
She rarely cried, and never imagined that one day her daughter would see her crying.
Back in the bedroom, her eyes were indeed a little swollen and red in the mirror.
Meng Ran washed her face with cold water, finally making herself look a little better. Unless you looked closely, you probably wouldn't be able to tell that she had been crying.
She prayed silently, hoping to keep it from Chen Miaoying, that precocious little girl.
After tidying herself up, Meng Ran went to the children's room to see her daughter.
Chen Miaoying was talking to her father when she saw her mother and her eyes lit up: "Mom! You're here!"
Meng Ran walked over and hummed in agreement.
Chen Miaoying looked at her with her big, dark eyes: "Mom, it's okay."
Meng Ran's expression stiffened slightly.
She tried so hard to cover it up, but it's still so obvious?
Chen Miaoying said earnestly, "I cry often too. Last time I watched a cartoon and saw the little rabbit fly away, I cried for a long time."
"Dad taught me that everyone cries, Dad does, and so does Mom. So there's nothing shameful about crying. Crying when you're sad makes you feel a lot better. Mom, do you feel much better now?"
The little girl's voice was sweet and childlike, yet she comforted him like an adult.
Meng Ran's heart softened, and she said softly, "Yes, thank you, baby. Mommy is indeed much better."
Chen Miaoying nodded vigorously: "Yes!"
"Dad," Chen Miaoying looked at Chen Sulin again, "you have to comfort Mom, okay? Don't make her sad anymore."
Chen Sulin: "Dad knows."
Chen Miaoying turned her head again: "Mom, will you sleep with Dad at night? That way, Mom won't be sad or upset if she sleeps alone at night."
Meng Ran: "..."
She thought that the matter of sleeping together was already in the past, since the last time it happened with Chen Miaoying.
Meng Ran: "Baby, don't worry, Mommy is really not sad at all anymore."
Chen Miaoying looked at Meng Ran seriously for a few seconds: "But Mom will be happier if Dad is with her! Just like I'm happy when Auntie comes to pick me up from school, but I'll be even happier if Mom and Dad come to pick me up!"
When it comes to persuasion, Meng Ran felt that Chen Miaoying was far superior to her.
Each time, Chan Miu-ying would present her arguments logically and persuasively, using her own experiences as examples.
Meng Ran paused for a moment, then said, "Mom understands, Mom will consider it."
Chen Miaoying smiled broadly: "Mmm!"
Chen Sulin carried Chen Miaoying to bed, and the two said goodnight to their daughter.
As she came out, Meng Ran was still thinking about the promise she had made to her daughter.
It wasn't just to please her daughter; deep down, she no longer seemed to be as averse to sharing a bed with Chen Sulin as she used to be.
Without realizing it, she had already gotten used to Chen Sulin being her husband and the person closest to her.
She did not resist physical intimacy with him.
Perhaps, just as Jiang Yuqing said that day, it's only a matter of time before her relationship with Chen Sulin takes another step forward.
However, while one may accept it psychologically, actually taking that step is another matter entirely.
Meng Ran came out of the children's room later than Chen Sulin, and she turned around and closed the door.
She thought that if Chen Sulin brought up what she had just promised her daughter, she would accept it.
If not... she'll pretend nothing happened.
Thinking this, Meng Ran found herself getting nervous.
I don't know whether I want him to ask or not.
Chen Sulin: "Meng Ran."
Meng Ran's heart leaped into her throat.
She slowly turned around: "What's wrong?"
Chen Sulin: "Are you hungry?"
Meng Ran was stunned, never expecting him to ask that.
Chen Sulin: "You once told me that after crying, you really want to eat something."
Meng Ran blinked her eyelashes: "You're making it for me?"
Chen Sulin hummed in agreement: "Sweet fermented rice balls?"
Meng Ran: "...Okay."
Chen Sulin: "Twenty minutes will be enough. You can take a shower first and then come down to eat."
He was good at making arrangements, even thinking of everything she needed to do.
Meng Ran: "Twenty minutes isn't enough time for me to take a shower."
Actually, she was quite fast; twenty minutes was about enough for her.
But after washing my hair, I need to blow-dry it and apply skincare products, which takes up too much time.
Chen Sulin seemed somewhat surprised by her words, raising an eyebrow slightly: "Then take your time, there's no rush."
Meng Ran nodded.
Despite saying that, thinking that Chen Sulin might be waiting downstairs, she still unconsciously moved a little faster.
A simple process takes less than half an hour.
Meng Ran tied her hair into a low ponytail at the back of her head and went downstairs to the restaurant.
Chen Sulin was waiting for her when she discovered that he had made one for herself as well.
Meng Ran sat down opposite him: "Do you like to eat this too?"
Chen Sulin: "It's alright. Like you said, I'm not a picky eater."
Meng Ran thought to herself, "His words are still just as unpleasant to hear."
Admitting that you also like to eat it is not a difficult thing to do.
But perhaps this is a good thing, because she will never have to worry about any of his words being said just to coax her.
I scooped up a spoonful of the glutinous rice balls and put them in my mouth; they tasted just as good as last time.
Meng Ran took another bite, remembering what Chen Sulin had said before she took a bath.
After swallowing the food in her mouth, she asked, "I... I cried in front of you before too?"
Chen Sulin: "Hmm."
“It was the day we went to the hospital for a checkup and confirmed that you were pregnant with Miaoying,” he said. “After you got home, you stared at the test results for a long time, and then you suddenly burst into tears.”
Meng Ran was taken aback.
Under the warm light of the restaurant, Chen Sulin's features looked particularly gentle: "I asked you if you were scared, and you said no, you were happy."
Meng Ran listened intently.
Because of amnesia, she had a daughter without going through the pregnancy process. Now, hearing Chen Sulin's story, she has a very strange feeling.
Meng Ran: "And what about you?"
Her question seemed abrupt, but Chen Sulin understood: "I'm just like you, very happy, but also very apprehensive. I'm worried about not being able to take good care of you and our daughter, and I don't know how to be a father."
Meng Ran pondered for a few seconds, then curved her lips into a smile.
Chen Sulin looked at her: "What's wrong?"
Meng Ran: "It's a little hard to imagine your reaction at that time."
She buried her head and ate another bite of the glutinous rice ball, trying hard to imagine Chen Sulin's "fearful" appearance, but found it really difficult.
And clearly, he's a very good father.
The glutinous rice balls in the bowl were quickly eaten.
Back in her room, Meng Ran brushed her teeth while observing herself in the mirror.
My eyes are still swollen if you look closely.
Not knowing if it would be worse when she woke up tomorrow, Meng Ran thought for a moment, then went downstairs again and took out an ice pack from the refrigerator to apply to her eyes.
I thought I wouldn't be going downstairs again. All the lights on the first floor were off, except for the small lamp that she had just turned on.
My eyes adjusted to the night light, so it didn't feel dark anymore.
After applying the ice packs to both sides for a while, Meng Ran got up and put the ice packs back in the freezer. She could vaguely hear footsteps behind her.
Straightening up and turning around, the man's tall and upright figure came into view.
Meng Ran: "Why did you come down?"
Chen Sulin: "I heard some noise downstairs, so I came to check it out."
Meng Ran: "Oh...it's nothing. I was worried my eyes would be even more swollen tomorrow morning, so I put an ice pack on them."
Chen Sulin: "Let me see."
Meng Ran: "No need—"
Chen Sulin approached without saying a word, so she had no choice but to keep quiet.
The man's scent was very close; Meng Ran smelled a fresh lemon scent mixed with the aroma of pine.
She asked softly, "Did you just take a shower?"
Chen Sulin: "Hmm."
Once his eyes adjusted to the focus, Meng Ran could finally make out in the dim light that he had taken off the shirt he wore while eating his late-night snack and changed into his pajamas.
Before me stood Chen Sulin's well-shaped chin and sharp Adam's apple.
Meng Ran swallowed.
"You..." she said, her eyes lowered, her voice unsteady, "Have you made up your mind?"
Chen Sulin said in a deep voice, "Not yet."
Meng Ran's heart skipped a beat when she heard this, wondering what he was looking at and why he couldn't figure it out after so long.
Before I could even ask, a warm sensation touched my forehead.
Meng Ran closed her eyes reflexively, her eyelashes trembling.
Chen Sulin's lips did not linger on her forehead for long.
His hot breath slid down, kissing her eyelids, the tip of her nose, and finally capturing her lips.
Knowing she would lose her balance, he caught her firmly with his arm before she could.
With her head spinning and her teeth being pried open, Meng Ran mumbled a few words.
Chen Sulin briefly released her lips, his voice hoarse: "What?"
Meng Ran: "What if someone comes..."
This is the common area on the first floor. Although the staff at the house rest in the annex at night, she still felt uneasy.
Chen Sulin: "No."
Meng Ran: "But—"
As if annoyed by her talking too much, Chen Sulin kissed her lips again.
Suddenly, everything went dark; he had turned off the only light.
She was completely enveloped in darkness. Her eyes couldn't adjust for a moment, and she couldn't see anything. Only the unique scent of a man enveloped her tightly.
Meng Ran was so overwhelmed by the kisses that she instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck.
Their lips intertwined, and a surge of heat rose from within their bodies, as if they were on fire.
She knew that Chen Sulin's condition was no better than hers; during their several physical encounters, she could clearly feel his arousal.
Suddenly, she felt a lightness in her body as he lifted her up in his arms.
In the darkness, Chen Sulin steadily carried her upstairs.
Her thoughts were in a jumble until she was placed on the bed. The subtle difference in touch made Meng Ran realize that he hadn't carried her back to her room, but had carried her to the master bedroom.
Her heart was pounding, and she knew perfectly well what would happen if she let things continue.
A fleeting moment of rationality returned to Meng Ran, and she asked, "Is there nothing at home—?"
Chen Sulin said in a deep voice, "It's in the bedside table drawer."
Meng Ran's brain seemed to be rusted, and she was extremely slow to understand the meaning of his words.
When did he buy it?
Chen Sulin: "Shall I go get it?"
Meng Ran: "...Hmm."
The intense heat subsided temporarily, and the man got up and went to the bedside.
Meng Ran's heart was pounding like a drum; she had never been so nervous in her life. She wanted to watch Chen Sulin's movements but dared not.
Her hearing became extremely sharp; she heard him pull open the bedside table drawer, take out a box, and then close the drawer again.
A few seconds later, he pressed down on him again.
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