Chapter 45
Ping An repeated his senior year and was admitted to a local 211 university.
Ping An's former high school classmates sent congratulations after receiving the news, but she didn't reply to any of them. Later, one of her classmates was worried and came to look for Ping An. When she found her, Ping An was washing dishes in the kitchen. Her thin body was almost buried in the basin. The hair on her forehead was heavy and thick, and she looked nothing like the sunny and cheerful girl she used to be.
After washing the last dish, Ping An noticed his classmate and walked towards her: "You need me for something."
Ping'an's voice was flat. When she walked towards her classmates, they noticed that she was wearing an old-fashioned long-sleeved shirt. It was the middle of summer and they were in a small and cramped place like the kitchen. The classmates could not believe that this was the lively and cheerful Zhou Ping'an!
"How did you become like this?"
Ping An paused for a moment and said slowly, "I'm fine like this."
The classmate's tears suddenly fell.
Ping'an took out some paper and wiped her, saying it was hot and dirty here, and asked her classmates not to come here again.
The classmates couldn’t believe it. It was only a year later, how could Ping An become like this?
The classmates left crying, but Ping An showed no expression and turned around to continue washing the dishes. Her hands were corroded and painful because of the long-term contact with detergent, but she couldn't stop. She had not earned enough money for college tuition, and her brother Zhou Rugu's tuition was also nowhere to be found.
In fact, this should have been peace, no.
Ping An thought that the life she was living now was the life she should have lived. If she had not met Cheng Xiangheng at the beginning, her life should have followed the current trajectory. Her current life was Zhou Zhaodi's life.
The pain is so numb that I feel numb, and the despair is deep in my bones.
Ping An immediately applied for a poverty subsidy when university started, and the school waived her tuition. However, Ping An did not feel relieved because she still had Zhou Rugu's tuition to pay. He had a strong sense of self-esteem and refused to apply for a subsidy.
Ping An didn't say anything and transferred money to his bank card as usual every month.
At school, Ping An was a solitary figure, busy working part-time. Her clothes were old-fashioned, including long sleeves in the middle of summer. She wore a pair of black-framed glasses that looked almost antique, and a plastic Maitreya Buddha hung around her neck. Her outfit was truly worthy of being buried as an antique. Logically, no one would pay attention to her, but she was very beautiful, and even though her grades were mediocre, many people still talked about her.
These peace do not know.
Until one day, Ping An was blocked by a boy at the door of the dormitory, asking her why she accepted the money but refused to be with him.
Ping'an had no idea what was going on. Ma Mei was standing behind the boy, so she avoided him and went back to the dormitory.
Silence did not calm the situation. Instead, people pointed at him and talked about him on the street. Even the girls in the dormitory began to exclude Ping An openly or secretly.
Ping An later found out that someone had been pretending to be her online and had an online relationship with a boy. After defrauding the boy of his money, he deleted the account and ran away. The boy was so angry that he came to her house.
Everyone thought Ping An was a scumbag who cheated people out of money, but after seeing Ping An in person, the boy was reluctant to call the police, and the rumor became more and more intense.
Ping An didn't intend to explain, as explanation was useless.
Just when Ping An was about to call the police, a clarification post suddenly appeared on the school forum. The clarification post was posted by someone impersonating Ping An. It was said that he was caught by the police for fraud. The police followed the clues and discovered that Ping An was impersonated, so they asked the fraudster to post an apology in person.
The matter was clarified and Ping An breathed a sigh of relief.
Many people have scolded Ping An before, but now that the truth is out, everyone is very embarrassed and is avoiding Ping An.
Ping An thought nothing of it. She continued to work part-time, donating any spare money to the temple or buying some magical instruments to ward off evil spirits. She was so busy every day that she often didn't even have time to eat, so she didn't know that the boy who was defrauded had dropped out of school.
That day, Ping'an was taking a bath in a public bathhouse. Hot water in the school required money. Ping'an stared straight at the small screen with money flashing on it. While calculating the time for taking a bath, he looked at Ma Mei's face getting closer and closer on the small screen, feeling a little anxious.
"Ah! Your hair needs some care!"
Suddenly, there was a noisy sound beside Ping'an. Ping'an was frightened and trembled all over. She turned her head and saw a fair-skinned and beautiful girl pinching a strand of her hair.
Ping'an's hair was dry and yellow, and the girl's fingers were white and rosy, which made her hair look even uglier.
In fact, Ping'an's hair was in good condition before, black and shiny, and many people praised her. But I don't know what happened in the past two years, it was as if the energy was drained away, her hair became dry and frizzy, and the color began to turn yellow. At first glance, it looked like she had dyed her hair.
Ping An was just about to speak when he saw Ma Mei, whose skin was festering and had corpse spots all over her face, walk to the girl's side and reach out to push her.
Ping An's pupils shrank slightly: "No, I like to let nature take its course."
"You don't act like you're just letting things take their course," the girl hesitated. "Do you often skip meals? You look really bad, and your hair is probably caused by malnutrition."
Since there was no need to communicate too much with the other party and he wanted to leave quickly, Ping An said obediently: "Thank you for your advice, I will take good care of myself."
"That's good. By the way, you are Zhou Ping'an, a junior, right? You are indeed very good-looking."
Ping An nodded, pulled out the water card and left quickly.
She was a little cold, but the girl didn't seem to notice at all. She first glanced at her empty side, then followed with a smile: "I'm also a junior, Cheng Lele, an educational psychology major. Hello!"
Ping An quickly put on his clothes and tried to get rid of Cheng Lele, but Cheng Lele showed an unusual enthusiasm for Ping An: "Which dormitory are you in? You are really beautiful. How about we be friends?"
Ping'an couldn't stand being pestered anymore, so he had to add Cheng Lele's WeChat and was forced to agree to meet her tomorrow night.
The next night, Cheng Lele blocked Ping An just after she got off work and inexplicably wanted to treat her to dinner.
Ping An had no choice, but since Ma Mei didn't come with him this time, Ping An had to agree to her.
Ping An felt very bored during this meal. Cheng Lele kept sharing various things with Ping An, including talking about interesting things that happened during their previous trip. Ping An answered incoherently, thinking that Zhou Rugu was about to take the college entrance examination, and he wanted to get a new phone after the exam.
A new phone costs a lot of money, so Ping An has been feeling uneasy lately.
After dinner, at Ping An's strong request, the two of them split the bill. Cheng Lele had no choice but to point at Ping An's chest helplessly: "What should I do? Ping An's heart is raining, and I can't even hold an umbrella for her. What should I do? I hope the rain in Ping An's heart will stop soon..."
Ping'an's heart trembled.
After that day, the two of them communicated more frequently and inexplicably became friends. For some reason, in the days that followed, whenever Cheng Lele appeared, Ma Mei would disappear and no longer appear in front of Ping An.
This made Ping'an's nerves, which had been tense for many years, relax a little, and he began to take the initiative to make friends with Cheng Lele.
Cheng Lele is not a rich man and needs to work frequently to maintain his expenses. As time goes by, Cheng Lele works with Ping An every day. The two of them go out together, and Ping An makes his first friend after adulthood.
After a long time, Ping An discovered that Cheng Lele had a carefree personality, but in fact, she was a very gentle person.
She knows when to advance and when to retreat, knows her limits, is patient and gentle, delicate and soft. It's as if God took pity on Ping An and gifted him with a 100% perfect friend.
Ping An had a toothache for a long time, so Cheng Lele accompanied her to have a dead tooth extracted and a new one installed. When Ping An felt a foreign body sensation with her new tooth, Cheng Lele accompanied her everywhere, constantly helping her overcome her psychological problems.
Because the people in the dormitory were not nice to Ping'an, Cheng Lele encouraged Ping'an to apply for a dormitory transfer. The counselor, who had always been indifferent to Ping'an, agreed easily. After that, Ping'an lived in the same dormitory with Cheng Lele.
The two watched movies, ate, slept, studied, and worked together, becoming good friends who could talk about anything.
Ping An told Cheng Lele about his original family and his life. Finally, Ping An took off the wristband that he refused to take off even when taking a shower.
There was an extremely ugly scar on it. The scar was so deep that the bone was visible. All the meridians were cut off, and it almost sent her away from this world and to a new life.
The landlord happened to come and collect the rent, otherwise Ping An would have really died.
Later, Ping An thought about it and felt embarrassed. If she wanted to commit suicide, she should have died far away. Dying in someone else's house was nothing and would only cause trouble to others.
After hearing this, Cheng Lele was silent for a long time, and finally hugged Ping An and cried silently.
Ping An was also crying. This was the first time she opened her heart and talked about this with someone. She truly fell in love with this friend. Apart from Cheng Xiangheng, she told Cheng Lele everything about her life.
Cheng Lele is very gentle and gives Ping An a tenderness he has never felt before. Ping An's sleep quality is getting better and better. Apart from occasional allergies, some strange marks, and sleep paralysis, he seems to have no worries.
The days are still the same, but Ping An feels that they are different from before.
Cheng Lele would often gently tap Ping An's chest and ask her softly, "When will the rain stop? Please stop soon~"
Cheng Lele looked into Ping'an's eyes and said to him, "Ping'an, it's raining in your heart. You have to know how to hold an umbrella for yourself. Don't just stand there in the rain stupidly. You have to know how to feel sorry for yourself."
Ping'an thought she had met the best person in the world. Her sleep quality was getting better and better. Except for the fact that she would occasionally feel Ma Mei lying beside her at night with her limbs tightly wrapped around her, it seemed that Zhou Ping'an's life had become the same as other normal people.
In a trance, Ping An felt that he also had the right to be happy. Of course, if Ping An had not seen the paper in Cheng Lele's drawer - it was an analysis of the psychological endurance of patients with severe depression.
Below the paper was a small USB flash drive with the word "Ping An" (safety) labeled on it.
Ping An tried to control her trembling hands with an expressionless face. She inserted the USB drive into the computer and saw a dense network of pictures and videos.
Peace in eating and peace in sleeping.
Some are studying, some are dazed with their chins in their hands, some are working, some are being harassed by customers, some are tired, some are numb, some are smiling, some are dressed, some are naked...
Many photos were taken from more than ten angles, and there were countless videos. Ping An flipped through them for a long time but still couldn't get to the bottom.
She stared at the photos for a long time, her tears unable to fall because her body was numb.
Ping An didn't feel angry when he saw these photos. He just felt a little breathless and felt empty inside. He was very confused and didn't know what to do.
Finally, Ping'an's gaze fell on Cheng Lele's bedside.
There is a bed above and a desk below in the dormitory. Cheng Lele's bed and Ping'an's bed are opposite each other. Usually, no matter what one of them does, the other can quickly sense it.
Ping'an got up and fumbled around the head of Cheng Lele's bed. After a while, he found a hidden camera the size of a grain of rice.
It turned out that Cheng Lele was monitoring Ping An day and night for her graduation thesis.
At this moment, Ma Mei, who had disappeared for a long time, was pressed against Ping An's back. A cold and damp breath hit her face, and the stench of the corpse gradually penetrated into Ping An's nose, making her whole body stink.
——Look, Zhou Zhaodi, you don’t deserve love. Your life is like the mud in the swamp, it stinks.
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