"I am looking from afar..."

The sound of the music became louder and louder. Gao Xian slowly opened his eyes. He casually pressed the power button on his mobile phone and the music stopped abruptly.

Gao Xian turned off the alarm, but he still felt something was wrong. He took out his phone and took a look. The time was clearly displayed on the screen: eight o'clock.

The date is marked below: August 9, Wednesday. The seventh day of the seventh month in the lunar calendar.

Everything was normal, nothing was wrong.

For some reason, Gao Xian felt that everything in front of him seemed familiar.

It was as if all this had happened, but he couldn't remember what happened afterwards.

This feeling of déjà vu has appeared several times in Gao Xian's life, but it always disappears in a flash.

He couldn't grasp anything, and in the end he could only feel lost and put these wonderful feelings behind him.

Sometimes Gao Xian would think that if he could do this when buying lottery tickets, it would change his life.

Otherwise, this feeling is meaningless. It will only make him doubt the reality of life, whether he is living in a huge virtual game or an insignificant NPC.

One can be full of imagination about the origin of the world, but he must submit to the most real material law of the world: if he does not eat, he will be hungry.

The real pressure of survival is enough to crush all romantic and aesthetic fantasies, and also crush all kinds of dreams and hopes.

Gao Xian is almost 40 years old and has long since given up these messy ideas. Based on dialectical materialism, he found an explanation for this déjà vu feeling.

That is, a person's short-term memory and long-term memory are mixed together, which will cause slight confusion in the person's consciousness.

Therefore, people will regard everything they see as part of their long-term memory.

Gao Xian felt that this explanation was very reasonable and scientific. At least it was better than the supernatural and the messy mysticism.

He prefers clear and reasonable logic to nonsense.

For example, bats symbolize good fortune, because bats and good fortune have the same pronunciation. He cannot stand this kind of homophonic pun, which simply challenges his IQ.

No matter how rational he claims to be, Gao Xian will never explain the truth to those who believe in these things. It is meaningless.

Maybe there is a connection between the two. Who can say for sure... It's none of his business whether others are willing to believe or not, and it's irrelevant whether he believes or not.

Gao Xiancai sat up, and all kinds of messy thoughts popped up in his mind, one after another. It was not quite accurate to say that it was a wild horse that had broken free from its reins. It should be a group of wild monkeys, jumping up and down and chattering, which made people irritated...

Gao Xian glanced at the bedside table, where a stack of tissues had been pulled out for use, and there was a flat tablet on the other side of the pillow.

I took it and opened it, and it turned out to be a paused movie.

He suddenly realized that it was no wonder he felt so empty. But then he felt something was wrong, because he had never used paper...

After sitting there thinking for a long time, Gao Xian couldn't remember what he did last night. He could only be sure that he didn't drink alcohol, because he didn't have a headache without the smell of alcohol.

Only when he felt uncomfortable with the urge to urinate did Gao Xian hurried to the bathroom to take care of his personal hygiene.

After washing his face hastily and wiping it with a slightly black white towel, Gao Xiancai looked at himself in the mirror seriously.

The hair is a little long and a little messy, and you can see that it is a little curly after being permed and dyed.

His face was a little pale, his eye bags were a little big and dark, and his skin had a lot of debris, I don’t know if it was due to dryness or what.

Overall, he looks decent, but he looks obviously depressed. Anyone can tell at a glance that he is a tired middle-aged office worker who is not having a good life.

If your belly is a little big, you will look greasy.

Gao Xian didn't know why, the more he looked at the person in the mirror, the more he disliked him. He even had strong doubts: Is this really me? I look so depressed and so ugly!

I always feel like something is wrong! Gao Xian doesn't want to go to work at all. He feels like he needs to think about his life.

But he didn't want to take a leave, because he would be deducted money if he did. Besides, he could still think about life in the company, even though it was a bit noisy.

I went downstairs and ate two buns and a bowl of soy milk on the street for eight yuan.

The company is located at the corner left after leaving the community. We rent a shop on the first floor and have more than 20 workstations. We mainly do real estate agency work.

This job is very unstable and has a high turnover rate. Gao Xian has only been here for a few months and his salary is very low. Fortunately, the work intensity is not high and he can just make a few phone calls in a day.

As the oldest salesperson in the company, a group of young people were not willing to pay attention to Gao Xian.

Gao Xian sat at his workstation in the corner, staring blankly at the broken computer screen for the entire day.

When they got off work at eight o'clock in the evening, someone suggested having a barbecue, so Gao Xian went along and had a full meal, spending 42 yuan.

After drinking two glasses of beer, Gao Xian was a little drunk. When the elevator stopped on the 20th floor, he suddenly wanted to go to the roof to take a look.

He has been renting here for several months, but he has never been to the rooftop.

In fact, no matter where he rented, he had never been to the rooftop.

The daily work consumed most of his energy and wiped out all his curiosity and desire to explore. Looking back, there is nothing much to say except that he saved some money in the bank.

Gao Xian didn't know why this idea came to his mind, but he just wanted to go and take a look.

When I got to the rooftop, I found it was pitch black.

Please...collect 6...9...books...!

There were several ropes tied to the vents, probably used to dry clothes, and they almost strangled his neck.

This little accident made Gao Xian laugh and at the same time he lost interest in the rooftop.

But since he was already there, Gao Xian still went to the wall to take a look. For safety reasons, there were 1.5-meter-high parapets on all four sides of the rooftop.

Gao Xian is over 1.80 meters tall and can easily see the scenery outside.

It was past ten in the evening, the busiest time in the city. The streets were filled with cars, the buildings were lit up with lights, and the noisy sounds reached the rooftop, making the dark rooftop seem even quieter.

After watching for a while, Gao Xian felt more and more uncomfortable. He couldn't tell why, but he just felt very lonely and out of tune with the bustling city around him.

This kind of loneliness is hard to describe, and Gao Xian couldn't find anyone to talk to. He looked at the 20-centimeter-wide parapet and suddenly had an impulse to stand up and take a look.

Gao Xian grabbed the wall and jumped up halfway, but he didn't dare to go any further. The brightly lit streets below made him dizzy.

The real fear also crushed the little emotions churning in his heart.

Just as Gao Xian was thinking about getting down, he heard someone shout from behind, "Hey, hey, don't jump!"

The person called out in a somewhat anxious voice, but his voice was very sweet.

After Gao Xian came down, he turned around and saw a young woman in scantily clad clothes. He couldn't see her face clearly, and could only see her white thighs in the dim light.

"Uncle, there is nothing in this world that cannot be overcome."

The young woman wanted to comfort Gao Xian, but couldn't think of anything to say. She stammered, "As the saying goes, it's better to live a miserable life than to die a good death."

Gao Xian was a little amused: "It's okay, I'm not going to jump off the building."

The young woman was relieved to see that Gao Xian was in a stable mood. "That's good. I'm really scared..."

Gao Xian was stunned for a moment before he realized that the young woman was afraid that he would fall to his death and become a ghost, so was it okay to just say it directly? He thought the woman was quite interesting, so he casually asked, "What are you doing on the rooftop so late?"

The woman patted the guitar on her back and said, "The room is not soundproof. I came up to practice singing."

"oh oh."

Gao Xian waved his hand: "You are busy, I will go down first."

When he reached the door, he couldn't help but turn around and take a look. He saw the woman turn on a fill light and put the phone on the stand. She fiddled with the strings while saying, "Brothers, we just met an old man climbing the wall. I thought he was going to jump off the building. I was almost scared to death..."

Under the light, the woman's features were very beautiful, with short hair, shorts and long legs, and flip-flops. Her voice was soft but she seemed very relaxed and casual.

The woman’s guitar playing and singing were average, but she was energetic and relaxed, which was quite charming.

Gao Xian watched for a while at the door and felt much better. He returned to his room. He wanted to watch a movie to relieve his loneliness, but then he felt a little vulgar, so he just took a shower and went to bed... (End of this chapter)