Chapter 56: Pain
“…”
Xuan Yi stared at the person with clear eyes.
At this moment, he couldn't describe how uncomfortable it was that suffocating feeling in his heart was.
Could it be that someone told her what the Marquis of Runan said at the banquet?
“…What preparations?”
"Be mentally prepared, and be prepared for the rest of your life."
Su Ci thought seriously: "After all, I am a favorite concubine who is envied by others. Many people are eager to see me fall. If His Majesty no longer favors me, then I must lower my status in advance and get along well with them, so as not to fall into despair and be bullied too badly."
"Well, if I had a child, perhaps I could rely on it to live a better life. If not, then I would have to be a little bit aggrieved and try to curry favor with the Queen or perhaps a concubine who has children. I guess I could live a leisurely life..."
The man suddenly reached out and held her in his arms, his strength somewhat oppressive and tense.
"Su Ci, why don't you believe me? I will protect you forever."
“…”
Su Ci lowered her eyes, the corners of her mouth slightly raised, but her tone was gloomy and resentful.
"My mother was a poor girl. One day, she accidentally fell into the river and was rescued by my father who was passing by. They fell in love at first sight. But when my mother found out that my father already had a wife and children, she was very sad and didn't want to be anyone's concubine. She refused to see my father again."
"But she fell into the water and was rescued by a man from another family. She had no choice but to become my father's concubine or remain unmarried and become a nun. She had no choice but to become a concubine. For more than ten years, she was extremely cautious and trembling with fear. Even though she knew that my father loved her and she loved him too, she never dared to show it."
“…”
Xuan Yi closed his eyes, his jaw clenched.
Su Ci rubbed his shoulder and leaned against him in a comfortable position.
"Mother said that although she didn't regret following Daddy, if she could turn back time, she wouldn't have gone to the river to pick up that kapok flower that day, wouldn't have met Daddy, and would have been like any other woman in the village, married a farmer, become the principal wife, raised children, and lived a simple life."
"When I wanted to enter the palace, my mother actually disagreed. She said she had no choice back then, but I still had a choice. She said that falling in love with someone you can't love is very painful. You have to watch your loved one being intimate with someone else, and endure the jealousy day and night..."
"Su Ci, stop talking."
The man's voice seemed to be squeezed out from between his teeth, revealing a strong sense of repression.
Su Ci looked up, her eyes sweeping across his slightly frowning brows with affection.
"The moment I chose to enter the palace, I was prepared to endure the same torment as my mother. Although it will be difficult to face, I can get through it."
"I can accept your majesty no longer favoring me, but I cannot accept your majesty hating me. So, if your majesty dislikes me, please tell me. I will accept it with the most beautiful and peaceful attitude, and leave the best image for your majesty."
"This way, even if Your Majesty doesn't remember me anymore, he won't feel disgusted, okay?"
“…”
Xuan Yi opened his mouth slightly, but countless words were stuck in his throat.
It turned out that since the day she chose to enter the palace, she always smiled and made noises on the surface, but in fact she was hiding her inner fear.
He didn't know what to say to make this person who admired him cautiously let go of her fear.
——
The sky was filled with sunset glow, and Su Ci returned to Yufu Palace.
Fulu, who had just finished bathing and gone out to inquire about the news, came back.
"The Holy Emperor went to Ganquan Palace tonight..."
"Um?"
Su Ci gathered her half-wet hair and turned around, a little surprised: "Today is the fifteenth day. I thought His Majesty would go to the Queen's first."
Fulu paused and said, "My master forgot that the confinement order of Zhaohua Palace has not been lifted."
"Oh, yes."
Su Ci waved her hand casually and stood up: "Then go down the palace gate early to rest, Guyu, just make two snacks and send them to the warm room. I want to paint tonight, don't disturb me."
"…yes."
The three of them watched their master enter the warm room and close the door before a look of worry appeared on their faces.
The master has been favored by the emperor for a long time, but Your Majesty is the emperor, and sooner or later he will favor other concubines. It does not mean that he will not favor the master in the future.
But when this day came, even the servants felt a little melancholy, not to mention the master and the queen...
**
As the night deepened, the first rain of the year arrived.
Under the drizzle, the dragon chariot stopped in front of the closed palace gate.
The eunuchs who were hiding under the eaves from the rain widened their eyes in surprise and knelt down hurriedly to welcome the emperor.
"No need to pass on the message, open the door."
“Yes, yes…”
Concubine Shu doesn't like noise, so there are not many servants in Yufu Palace. Only Yanyu Guyu and Fulu can enter the inner room. The two palace maids Lianxin Shaoyao and Fushou are only responsible for miscellaneous matters in the palace.
Xuan Yi came here every day before, and he saw that the Yufu Palace was always brightly lit and very warm.
But tonight there were only two green candles burning in the hall, and no one was seen.
It was exceptionally deserted and quiet.
Xuan Yi frowned slightly, waved his hand to let Zhuang Yu leave, and walked towards the dormitory in the back.
The dormitory door was open, but it was still dark and empty.
“…”
In front of the warm room, Yanyu Guyu was sitting on a low stool leaning against the wall and sleeping soundly.
Next to it was a basin of already cold water and a towel, as well as cold snacks on a small tray. The light coming through the doors and windows was swaying slightly.
Xuan Yi frowned, reached out and silently pushed the door open and walked in.
The charcoal basin under the window is still warm.
A person wearing only a snow-white undershirt was curled up on a soft pillow in front of the easel, his hands still stained gray and black from the charcoal, with a few open books scattered around him.
...Nonsense!
Anger flashed in Xuan Yi's eyes. Just as he was about to call out for help, he caught a glimpse of the portrait on the easel.
He and she sat on horses, with blurred woods and falling leaves in the background.
The king raised his head slightly, looked into the distance, drew his bow, and was full of high spirits.
The concubine tilted her head slightly and looked up at the king's face, with the corners of her mouth slightly raised and her eyes full of affection.
“…”
Xuan Yi slowly knelt down on one knee, his fingertips lightly touching the eyebrows and eyes of the person in the painting.
The gradually increasing pain in his heart suddenly twitched and pulled when he lowered his eyes and saw those books, causing him to gasp in pain.
Rules for women, precepts for women, and palace regulations.
She didn't like practicing calligraphy, and she hated reading even more. She asked the maidservants to read her storybooks.
How upset must she be to force herself to read these difficult books...
Xuan Yi closed his eyes and opened them after a few breaths. He reached out and picked up the person whose body was slightly cold, then slowly walked back to the dormitory.
"Hmm..."
Su Ci frowned slightly and rubbed against the familiar embrace, her eyes half-open in confusion.
"Xuan Yi..."
Xuan Yi paused, then climbed onto the bed and lay down, gently rubbing the back of her head.
"Yeah, it's me. Go to sleep."
"laugh…"
The delicate girl suddenly winked and smiled, then mumbled vaguely into his chest.
"In my dream, you are mine alone... It's so nice..."
“…”
Xuan Yi opened his mouth slightly. The throbbing pain deep in his chest almost made it difficult for him to breathe.
Since he came of age, countless women have expressed their admiration for him, either openly or covertly, and countless concubines have pleaded for his favor or mercy with either plaintively or charmingly.
He was used to indifference, neglect, and even boredom. He felt that the love between men and women in this world was nothing more than false feelings based on power and glory, and was extremely boring.
But the girl's frankness as she cut open her heart and handed it to him, and her cautious preparation to accept the pain of being tortured to death, made him believe it without a doubt.
I firmly believe that without his love, this vibrant flower will quickly wither and decay, and turn into mud.
…
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