Chapter 364 Bird Landing
Su Zhizhi hit the nail on the head with Murong Wan's most secret and most unacknowledged thoughts.
She once looked down upon Su Zhizhi because of her humble background.
But now, she had to admit that she was jealous.
She was so angrily belittling Su Zhizhi's past, in fact, just to find a little ridiculous comfort for herself.
Murong Wan's eyes reflected bits of broken starlight, and she let out a self-deprecating smile:
"Yes, you're right, I'm jealous. I'm obviously no worse than you, no weaker than you, but I was born into the wrong family."
She was a noble lady in the royal palace since she was young, and was named Princess Hengyang at the age of five.
She was taught to behave properly, to be dignified, and to be generous and outstanding.
You must use both kindness and authority to treat the people below you, and be fawning to those in the palace.
She had never felt the freedom like Su Zhizhi.
"If I had your experience and those extraordinary people around me, I would definitely not be trapped here today."
Murong Wan was unwilling to accept this.
She always wanted to be the best and move to a higher position.
But no one really told her what to do.
All the elders only let her read and write, let her play the piano and dance, and gave her beautiful and fashionable jewelry and exquisite dresses.
So she once worked very hard to complete her schoolwork, practiced sword dancing, playing the piano, painting very diligently... doing everything that would be praised and compared.
When General Yuan taught them martial arts, Murong Wan felt tired on the one hand, and on the other hand she simply couldn't see the point of practicing martial arts.
She didn't understand why she had to sweat like a servant doing rough work in the sun.
She is not pretty, not elegant, and usually no one would ask a girl how good her martial arts are.
In terms of talent and etiquette, she did better than any other woman of the same age in Chang'an City.
But she never had true peace and tranquility in her heart.
The urge to move up and reach a higher position has never subsided as I grow older.
The most noble women in Dayu's life are queens and princesses, but she can't become either of them.
Both her father and mother told her that they would arrange a good marriage for her, and after the marriage, she only needed to take charge of the harem and raise better children in the future.
Murong Wan did not find any path to power from their words.
Therefore, her attitude towards engagement has always been indifferent. She looks down on it, and she looks down on everyone.
No one told her there was another way to go until she saw Su Zhizhi.
On the day when there was an assassin in Prince Gong's Mansion, she, her mother and Murong Mingxun went to Tingyuxuan and learned about Su Zhizhi's life experience.
She was surprised at Su Zhizhi's true identity and shocked at her father's humble and awkward attitude in front of Su Zhizhi.
But what surprised Murong Wan the most was that Su Zhizhi refused to return to the palace and refused to rely on her father.
A girl who grew up in the countryside rejected the wealth and glory of the royal palace.
She can go wherever she wants without hesitation, she can make her own decisions, and she dares to call herself Flying Tiger in front of all the dignitaries in the capital.
She lived a different life from all the other women in Chang'an City.
After the snow outside the window stopped, the dark clouds dispersed and the sun appeared at this time.
The evening light stumbled into the gatehouse.
Half of Murong Wan's face was illuminated, and the bloodshot at the corner of her mouth looked even more crimson.
"Su Zhi, you won't understand this kind of pain."
This kind of pain feels like being born in the clouds, but with no way out.
"You compared yourself to a flying tiger at the apricot blossom banquet. I imagine it feels good to be a tiger or wolf."
Murong Wan smiled with red eyes:
"I, Murong Wan, have done everything impeccably. It's a pity that I've been kept like a rabbit for too long, and I've seen through things too late."
It's too late.
By the time her grandfather gave her some advice, it was already too late.
She did not regret listening to her grandfather, did not regret joining the Hu people, and did not regret killing Helian Bori.
Her only regret was that she had a narrow vision, was ignorant of political considerations, and had no martial arts skills.
Su Zhizhi: "Rabbits have their own agility, while tigers and wolves have their own dangers. Being a tiger or wolf is not easy. To be a tiger or wolf, you have to be able to bear the dangers."
Everyone in their village used to be a martial arts master, but some of them were missing limbs.
Su Zhizhi didn't stay long and left after she finished speaking.
She won't waste time with people she doesn't like.
Su Zhizhi left.
Murong Wan was still sitting on the edge of the bed in a daze.
Chunyue was still crying at Murong Wan's feet.
"The snow has stopped, go open the window." Murong Wan's voice was a little hoarse.
"Yes..." Chunyue got up and opened the window.
The windows on the gatehouse are very large.
The strong wind was still blowing, making the sun in the west seem to be shaking.
Not far from the city wall, there were countless soldiers, forming a black mass.
After the battle, some of them sat, stood, lay down, and even ran...
His clothes were dirty and his appearance and behavior were ugly.
Murong Wan leaned against the window, tears falling down her face, but the corners of her mouth curled up exaggeratedly, and it was unclear whether she was crying or laughing.
She said:
"Chun Yue, would you be willing to live such a lowly life?"
Chunyue lowered her head and hunched her chest: "I don't want to, but what difference does it make? I want to live."
Murong Wan smiled sarcastically.
Only servants would think so.
I would just accept it and beg them to let me go.
But so what? Even if they really let her go this time, they were defeated now, and all their plans were in vain.
The grandfather died, the eldest prince lost power, and the Pei family came to power.
They won't give her a chance to turn things around.
From then on, she could only live like those common people who were lowly in the dust.
Without power or influence, one can be bullied by others.
“Hahahahahaha…”
Murong Wan smiled and shed tears, her eyes full of despair.
"I killed Helian Bo Ri, so today I can be considered as a tiger and wolf."
"But I fell into their hands, my grandfather died, and my hand was crippled..."
"Everyone says that a tiger in trouble is bullied by a dog,"
The wind blew her hair, revealing her smooth cheeks.
She stood on the windowsill, her forehead reddened by the setting sun, her young face filled with stubbornness and determination:
"But I, Murong Wan—
I would rather die than be bullied."
She jumped on her toes and flew away on the wind.
The wind whistled past her ears.
She closed her eyes and felt herself transform into a bird.
A bird that has long wanted to spread its wings can finally fly higher.
It snowed heavily that day.
The snow at the foot of the city wall was thick and white.
The setting sun dyed the snow a light golden red.
The soldiers not far away saw a shadow flying out from the very tall city gate tower.
The shadow opened its arms like a bird.
A bird ready to fly high.
Even though it spread its wings, it fell powerlessly into the snow.
On the city gate tower.
Chunyue stood at the window with an expressionless face.
She looked down at the motionless body under the city wall, and the snow around her was dyed red by the seeping blood.
Chunyue picked up the steamed bun that had been blown cold by the wind on the table and stuffed it into her mouth frantically.
The cold steamed buns were very hard, and she cried while chewing them.
But the more she cried, the more the stuff in her mouth bulged.
The chewed buns were spit out in my hand, looking like crushed pastries.
Chunyue raised her hand and threw the chewed crumbs towards Murong Wan's body.
She wiped the tears from her face and sneered:
"Princess, please forgive me."
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