Chapter 57 Weight "So...nightmares and erotic dreams,..."
Shi Wan remained rooted to the spot, her feet seemingly nailed to the ground by the cold wind, her breath almost nonexistent.
Jiang Xu... what did he call her? Shi Wan?
In that instant, her fear deepened, and she could only barely maintain a relatively gentle demeanor. Shi Wan had many questions she wanted to ask, such as...
How did Jiang Xu find her? How did he learn her real name? And how did he... lie in wait here?
A cold wind was blowing all around.
Coming to her senses, she stubbornly stood still, not moving.
Jiang Xu's eyes grew colder, but then, as if he had thought of something, his expression slowly softened with a strange gentleness, as if he were giving in, and he patiently repeated, "What are you staring at?"
"come over."
Shi Wan shook her head slightly, seemingly feeling the chill from the cold wind, her lips trembling slightly, "No need."
In winter, the river is covered with a thin layer of ice, and the wind blows freely across the open river. The ferry crossing is not far away; at most, she will be able to reach it by following the path in a little over fifteen minutes.
Amidst the howling wind, all around was utterly silent, as if the two of them were the only ones left in the world, but clearly, that was not the case.
There must be many other unseen, silent, shadowy watchers lurking, observing, and waiting, quietly watching her.
It is exactly the same as before.
Shi Wan took a deep breath, forcibly ignoring the throbbing pain from suffocation, and suppressed her anger and fear as she said, word by word, "Jiang Xu."
Seeing that the man's expression remained unchanged, she sneered inwardly.
She really didn't want to pretend with him anymore, even though... she probably didn't hate or fear him purely, but she genuinely loathed him.
“I…” This time, her voice was much firmer, “I’m not going back.”
Upon hearing this, the man showed no surprise, only coldly saying, "Don't be temperamental." Yet his tone was so gentle, even giving Shi Wan a hint that he was patiently coaxing her.
In the illusion of... regression.
"obedient."
Obey? Shi Wan stared directly into those dark eyes, so black they seemed to devour her entirely. Almost torturing herself, she stared back without blinking. After a moment, she mustered a bit of courage and asked, "Don't you understand?"
Even if it's a step backward, she doesn't need it.
In this unequal game from the start, his self-proclaimed neutrality is undoubtedly unfair.
She just wanted to live her own life.
That's all.
Even if it's a mess, even if it's fraught with danger, even if it means losing your life.
Even if...
"I don't want to go back with you."
Unconsciously, Shi Wan imitated Jiang Xu's mannerisms, a mix of familiarity she herself was unaware of and a hint of sarcasm that rang out clearly and jarringly in the cold wind, "...Be obedient?"
All around, the tall and short tree trunks on both sides were hidden in the night. From the depths of the forest, the sound of horses' hooves seemed to come, but it was quickly silenced.
Shi Wan suddenly smiled.
She guessed right. Jiang Xu was indeed two-faced. He feigned weakness, all alone in the heavy snow, looking utterly pitiful. His eyes were dark, his face had a light stubble, and his whole being exuded the same deep-seated weariness as her.
However, if she took one step toward him, she would be doomed.
In the shadows of night, there will be countless eyes, his personal guards, horses to help her run faster, and many, many other things.
but......
It wasn't what she wanted.
free.
"What if you don't listen? Are you going to be all smiles and gentleness one moment and give me a hard time the next, just like before?" Shi Wan's smile grew wider and wider, a vibrant smile that was completely different from the past. Jiang Xu's gaze unconsciously focused on her face.
Jiang Xu stared at him for a long time, still with that gentle expression, "...What do you mean by this?"
"Jiang Xu." Seeing the cold expression on the man's face as he was repeatedly called by his name, Shi Wan felt a sense of pleasure.
To call someone of his status by his name is extremely disrespectful. A name is a symbol of authority; to call someone by it is a provocation. Only with tacit consent can one use it a few times during flirtation...
Thinking of the past, her eyelashes trembled.
...Who cares?
Shi Wan was always good at hurting the feelings of the person in front of her. "You've always been petty and narrow-minded, so why pretend to be magnanimous?"
She understands Jiang Xu, just as... Jiang Xu understands her just as well.
"By using me these few times, you've managed to absolve yourself completely. You, a coward as you are, have come all this way to toy with my affections. I'd like to ask you, this time... what's the reason?"
Deep within the shadows of the trees, the guards turned pale with fright at Shi Wan's words. Even the neighing of the horses gradually faded away, and they seemed to blend into the bare tree trunks, becoming even quieter, an eerie silence.
"What's wrong? Did I hit a nerve? Now you're not saying anything?"
"Since you know my temperament, you will understand that I also have my own unavoidable difficulties."
Surrounded by wolves, how could he possibly remain unscathed?
But the fact that he traveled all the way to Linzhou, aside from the use of the situation, now carries a few more feelings that he himself cannot explain.
Jiang Xu's gaze grew increasingly complex and chilling, sending a shiver down Shi Wan's spine. She said, "Difficulties? It's just that you can no longer pretend." After saying that, she belatedly realized that she had been led by the nose by Jiang Xu and had uttered such blustering but cowardly words. Her expression gradually turned ugly.
On this winter night, the cold and fear brought her to a freezing point. Now, no matter how much she rubbed her arms to cheer herself up, it would be a drop in the ocean, as most of her body temperature was already extremely low.
Jiang Xu had clearly noticed this as well. He took off his cloak and was about to drape it over Shi Wan when he saw her standing alone in the cold snow, her hair disheveled and her face pale. He was quite annoyed. "Don't make the same mistake twice or three times."
He spoke with a hint of warning, and after a moment of stalemate, he finally took two steps back, stretched out his long arm, and handed the cloak to Shi Wan, saying, "Your previous illness has not fully healed. If it leaves any lingering effects... that would not be good."
"Are you sure you want to confront me in this freezing cold?"
Seeing this, Shi Wan pressed her lips tightly together. If she stayed here any longer, she was afraid she would really die. Her body temperature was now almost the same as that of the ice block. Coming back to her senses, she hesitated for a moment, then stepped forward, stopped at a delicate distance, and reached out to take the cloak.
Unexpectedly, as soon as she reached out, Jiang Xu suddenly changed direction, and in an instant, Shi Wan touched the back of the man's hand.
Warmth, passion—she shivered unconsciously, struggling to stay upright for a long time before suddenly losing her balance and falling to one side. The next moment, she was suddenly enveloped in the man's familiar embrace. The warmth of the cloak and Jiang Xu's burning body temperature rushed over her, inescapable.
......
*
Shi Wan's feet had long since lost all feeling after being exposed to the wind and snow. The numbness made it difficult for her to take even two steps without putting in the effort. She was all show and no substance, which Jiang Xu noticed immediately.
Jiang Xu held her in his arms, and they rode at full speed, soon arriving at an unfamiliar courtyard. Compared to hers, this one was clearly more elegant, with more beautiful scenery and more luxurious decorations. But Shi Wan was not interested in any of this. She simply nestled in the man's arms, desperately absorbing the warmth emanating from him.
Like a parasite, she was greedy and insatiable, as if she had discovered some secret and knew that Jiang Xu would definitely indulge and condone her behavior, so she assessed the situation and took advantage of it.
The two entered the inner room, and the warmth of the charcoal fire instantly enveloped Shi Wan's body, which was stiff from the cold. As soon as she returned to the bed, Shi Wan subconsciously gripped the quilt tightly.
Such a scene inevitably brought back many unpleasant memories for her.
At that time, the stars were few and far between, and the wind was gradually subsiding.
At midnight, the outside was shrouded in an eerie darkness, thick as ink, which lingered for a long time.
Although there were candles lit in the room, there weren't many. Shi Wan was on the bed and felt that the room was quite dark. She silently watched Jiang Xu's movements. When she saw him bring over a bowl of medicine from someone outside the door, she didn't say anything. She tightened her grip on the quilt and was about to get out of bed.
"Sit down." Jiang Xu's voice came through a curtain, sounding somewhat unreal, but as Shi Wan listened, she slowly blinked.
Jiang Xu was afraid she would die.
Shi Wan had noticed this earlier. The man's eyes were tinged with a hazy color by the candlelight, still cold and sharp, yet also seemingly... containing a few traces of tenderness.
As Shi Wan thought about it, her heart started racing, whether from nervousness, fear, or something else, she couldn't tell. After drinking the medicine in one gulp, she suddenly heard Jiang Xu say, "You were talking a lot just now, how come... now you're not saying a word except to put on a brave face?"
His words sounded more like a joke, and even gave Shi Wan a certain gentle illusion, repeatedly impacting her fragile nerves.
Coming to her senses, she sneered coldly, "Are you crazy?" After she exposed his hypocritical mask, he still rushed to serve her and eagerly brought her medicine.
If you're just worried about her dying, there's no need to come in person.
"Is Your Majesty waiting here for my orders?" After saying this, Shi Wan pretended to realize something. "If that's the case, then you may leave."
Jiang Xu had always known that she was sharp-tongued, especially when it came to provoking him. He understood her well, so he remained calm and simply said, "Yes and no."
Unfortunately, it was too late.
The man easily saw through her thoughts, stretched out his long arm, and pulled her into his embrace again. Then, as expected, a warm kiss landed on his lips.
This time, his kiss was extremely patient, as if all the misunderstandings between them had never occurred. He slowly invaded with his tongue, stirring it and bringing a tingling shiver. The bitter medicine in Shi Wan's mouth was slowly licked by Jiang Xu, turning into a familiar and irresistible scent.
His unique aura.
After the kiss, he seemed completely unconcerned about her stubborn, wooden demeanor. He simply held her hand loosely, tracing the silhouette of the person in his arms. Noticing that Shi Wan was trembling slightly, his tone tinged with desire, he slowly asked, "Why are you trembling?"
She looked directly at him, her tone seemingly calm and even, and replied, "What's wrong with you?"
Jiang Xu was speechless again, but he seemed to have confirmed something very gratifying. Instead of taking it to heart, he chuckled good-naturedly, took Shi Wan's hand, and placed it on his chest, where his heart was beating even more violently than before.
His voice was filled with pleasure, as if he were announcing to her not to run away, "I have said it before, you have feelings for me."
"Listen."
"Bang bang..."
"Bang bang..."
The rapid, piercing pounding of her heart answered the question silently. Unexpectedly, this time Shi Wan didn't deny it. After a moment of silence, she nodded instead, "So what if it is?"
There is affection, but also hatred.
She scoffed, "I do have feelings for you, maybe it's love." Upon hearing this, Jiang Xu's breathing unconsciously slowed for a beat. The next moment, he heard the other person's deliberately softened voice, carrying a few complex sighs, and... hatred.
Like a sweet, but actually poisonous, fruit, it tempted him to take a small bite.
She smiled and completed the sentence, "I love you so much that... I wish I could kill you."
The intimacy of moments before had mostly dissipated, and Jiang Xu's eyes were deep and unfathomable as he remained silent. But in an instant, he felt that no matter whether Shi Wan was telling the truth or not, at least for now, and for the rest of her life, she would always be by his side, and that was something that could never be changed.
The same mistake will not be repeated, even if it happens once or twice.
And now... it's all just her fuss after realizing she can't escape. After all, success is within reach, so she has to vent her anger.
As his thoughts returned, Jiang Xu's eyes grew even more profound, almost as if he were drawing the person in his arms into them. "That would be wonderful." His voice was gentle and warm, like a spring breeze. "I thought that perhaps after some verification and reminders, you would realize that I was wrong."
Life is long, and love will always outweigh hate.
"I heard... you seemed to have dreamt of me before?"
Seeing this, Shi Wan broke out in a cold sweat, which soaked through her clothes. She smiled and said, "It was a nightmare." Over the years, her body had reacted, and she could feel the large hand on her waist gripping her again, wrapping around her waist.
She stubbornly repeated, "It's a nightmare."
"Nightmare?" Jiang Xu's slender fingers, which had been clinging to her body, suddenly stopped, gently caressing and feeling everything beneath his palms.
Only then did Shi Wan realize the impending danger.
The man's dark eyes had been fixed on her for a long time, shrouded in a layer of darkness she couldn't see through...
anger.
This pent-up anger, now, is hard to define...
Still lust.
The fire was burning fiercely, seemingly without end. "So..."
"Nightmares and erotic dreams, are they both my face?"
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Author's Note: I think I've reached my comfort zone (or so I think?), and I feel incredibly refreshed~ [sunglasses]
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