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"Hey, hey, hey, the one in yellow clothes, where are you going?" Instructor Liu called Lin Yuan.
Lin Yuan paused for a moment and then continued walking forward.
Instructor Liu puffed out his beard and glared, "Hey, how dare you disobey my orders!"
He caught up with Lin Yuan and prepared to teach her a lesson. Just as he put his hand on her shoulder, he saw a flash of silver light, and a cold blade was pressed against his neck. A cold gaze cut into the instructor's face.
Instructor Liu froze and didn't move, cold sweat running from his forehead to the tip of his nose.
The usually clear and harmless amber eyes now became dazzling and strange. Just one glance and you would fall into a colorful kaleidoscope, dizzying, dangerous and confusing.
Lin Yuan was stunned for a moment, then slowly retracted the knife. The instructor took a deep breath, still feeling a lingering fear.
Lin Yuan said lightly, "I'm sorry." Then she turned and left.
Leaving only the teaching staff disheveled in the wind.
…………
Along the way, Lin Yuan's mind was filled with various sounds.
Mom said, "If it weren't for you, I would have gone out to eat delicious food and drink spicy drinks by myself."
My classmates said, "She's that weird person. She never talks to anyone all day long, and laughs for no apparent reason when she's alone." "Eh—that's creepy!"
Fellow disciples whispered: "It's her, she can't even lift a sword. I wonder what gift she gave to the Third Elder... Isn't it a betrayal..." "Shh, don't talk nonsense, if the Third Elder finds out, our lives will be in danger."
She clapped her hands over her ears as she dragged herself away, the sound still lingering in her head.
You are useless.
You are useless.
You are useless!
What are you dreaming about! What are you dreaming about!
What you can’t get, you can’t get!
From the martial arts training ground, across the stone road, over the small bridge with flowing water, my tears seeped into the soil and disappeared.
Unconsciously, Lin Yuan walked into the "Green Shade Corridor" like a zombie. Countless vines as thick as an adult's arm meandered up the wooden frame, covering the branches and making it dark even during the day.
The light hole at the exit was just a few dozen meters away, but Lin Yuan couldn't take a step. She slowly sat down on the ground along the vine. Her tears had dried up, and the dried-up spring could no longer produce a drop of water.
Inside the green-shaded corridor, darkness and dead silence completely swallowed Lin Yuan. Outside the corridor, dark clouds seemed to merge the sky and the earth.
A voice asked her: Is it painful?
I don’t know, all that’s left is numbness and depression.
After all, this kind of thing is nothing new, so it doesn't matter if I experience it again.
It doesn’t matter. Are the rotten flowers in the mud afraid of being run over by wheels?
Don’t ask for what is not yours. It has happened so many times, but you still don’t learn your lesson. You still think that everything will be back on track if you change the world or your identity.
I have to make myself so sociable and normal.
A healthy body is filled with dirty blood and despicable evil, and no amount of concealment will help.
You deserve to live in darkness and wear a mask of hypocrisy.
She leaned against the wall motionless, as if time and sound were isolated from the outside world by the walls and vines.
The darkness condensed into substance, enveloping her from all sides, strangling her throat and making it almost impossible for her to breathe.
…
"Junior sister! Junior sister!"
Yuan Xuanlang ran over, squatted down and called out to her, but there was no response. Yuan Xuanlang simply took her pulse and found it disordered, but fortunately she was not injured.
She felt her body rising from the ground, as if someone was holding her horizontally. She wanted to open her eyes, but her struggles were in vain.
"Why can't I see or hear anything?" Lin Yuan was panicked and grabbed Yuan Xuanlang's clothes in a panic.
She felt like she was sinking.
Sinking down,
There is no end,
This is a bottomless pit, like the abyss in the dark room of a Buddhist temple. The living people don’t know how deep it is, or how many bones are at its bottom.
He sent her back to her room in Le Tian Palace and saw her talking in her sleep in a daze, with tears on her eyelashes and trembling uneasily. He put the back of his hand on her forehead, it was cold.
He called her name, trying to wake her up, but to no avail. Since his master and senior sister were not around, he had no choice but to call his uncle Pei Sizhou.
Pei Sizhou was still wearing the same black brocade robe that hadn't changed for thousands of years. He checked Lin Yuan's pulse expressionlessly. When he saw the small mole on her arm, his eyes paused slightly.
He looked away in an instant and said calmly, "Your depression has returned. Worry and anxiety have caused your heart to lose its nourishment and your spleen to lose its healthy function. Take some medicine."
Yuan Xuanlang suppressed his shock and said anxiously, "Can this medicine cure depression?"
Pei Sizhou said calmly: "No."
Yuan Xuanlang stared, feeling agitated: "Why should I drink the medicine if I can't?"
Pei Sizhou glanced at him calmly and said, "Taking medicine is just a supplement. The most important thing is to ease his mind."
After that, he wrote a recipe, gave a few instructions and left.
Yuan Xuanlang wiped the cold sweat from Lin Yuan's forehead with a towel and couldn't help shaking his head and sighing, "If I hadn't skipped class, I wouldn't have known that this would happen to you."
Hey, what on earth have you been through to be defeated by such a small thing, and why are you depressed? Don't you feel happy when you laugh?
Outside the window, the sky was filled with dark clouds and heavy rain was falling. The strong wind blew up the green leaves, which knocked on the window frame. It was like an extremely huge hand knocking on the window to break in, and the sound paused.
Lin Yuan's face was pale without a trace of blood, his brows were furrowed, cold sweat was dripping down his face, and he was breathing rapidly from time to time, giving people a sense of broken fragility.
She was trapped in a nightmare.
In the dream, countless red silk threads were wrapped around her body. The silk threads carried spiritual power and mixed with blood and were input into the ground engraved with formation patterns. The silk threads became chains that bound her.
There was always thick black fog above her head, and there was dead silence all around. She couldn't open her eyes, and the tingling pain in her body kept her brain awake all the time.
Dead silence, eternity, one second could be divided into hundreds of parts. She even longed for a jailer to come over and scold her. Even the slightest sound of footsteps could give her an auditory feast and make her feel that she was still alive.
"Da, da... Creak--" The door was opened.
It was as if God heard her thoughts and someone came. She slowly smiled, and at the same time as she was excited, she felt a perverted desire to destroy and kill.
The man paused for a moment, then quickened his pace, as if running towards him. He pulled the red thread down, his movements extremely gentle. His voice trembled slightly, as if he was trying hard to suppress something. "Lin... Lin Yuan..."
She felt strangely cradled in someone's strong embrace. Lin Yuan? Did he know me? How did he get here? Unfortunately, I couldn't speak, and I couldn't see him.
She clung to the man's shoulders and reached out to trace his features. Suddenly she paused. No, people only have two eyes and one nose, right? What's there to touch?
I should have strangled him and ripped his throat, haha, he came here without knowing what was good for him.
Her lips seemed to touch something soft, and she bit it without thinking and refused to let go. She tasted the sweet and fishy blood.
"What are you doing?!"
Not surprisingly, she was pushed away.
She was too weak and lay on the ground with a ringing in her ears, as if... as if the summer cicadas in the sycamore tree were buzzing non-stop.
There should be a little child under the paulownia tree. He has failed countless times in climbing the tree and is so anxious that his eyes are filled with tears. But she is lying on the tree and eating fruits with a smile on her face.
Finally, the child could only call out to her aggrievedly: "Sister, come down quickly, why are you lying on the tree? Come down quickly, sister... I want to play with you..."
Why are you here again? I shouldn't be thinking about him... Memories are just illusions and dreams.
The cicadas stopped chirping, and she listened to his movements. It was so quiet, so quiet that it seemed as if the man had evaporated into thin air. It had been so long that she thought everything that had just happened was an illusion. She frowned slightly and pursed her lips. It was an illusion again!
She knelt on the ground, her long hair scattered on the ground, covering her face.
She was as still as a sculpture.
Suddenly, a broad and warm hand gently stroked her hair. With a sigh, another hand held her in his arms and said in a soothing tone, "You are tired. Don't be afraid. Go to sleep."
He was still here…it didn't matter whether it was an illusion or not.
The next moment, she thought maliciously: "You are the one who should be afraid. Do you think I will sleep if you let me? I still want to kill you."
Maybe it was because his arms were too warm, or maybe she hadn't slept for hundreds of years and was really sleepy. In the end, she really fell asleep while thinking.
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Replenish--
A self-narration of a depression patient: The air is heavy and suffocating, like a ball of sticky batter. Once you enter a depressed state, you feel like you have become blind, gradually enveloped by darkness, and finally the darkness surrounds you completely.
It's like becoming deaf, the sounds you can hear become weaker and weaker, and finally the terrifying silence swallows you up, until finally I can't even make any sound to break the boundless silence.
It feels as if the clothes on your body have turned into wooden boards, and your elbows and knees are becoming stiffer and heavier, and the boards are binding and isolating you tightly until you shrink and finally destroy you completely.
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