Chapter 18 If it were him...
After dinner.
It was time to leave again, but Yan Yize did not get up. She straightened her sleeves, leaned back casually, and glanced at the half-open window. Outside, everything was covered in a blanket of white. Winter snow always comes so suddenly. Yesterday it was sunny, but it started snowing at night. The snow fell in a flurry, and the snowdrifts that had not yet melted were covered with a thick layer of snow in the blink of an eye.
The snow falling from the sky was like flower petals scattered by celestial beings, swirling and dancing, dazzling the eyes. She stared at it in a daze, her eyes thoughtful, her fingers slightly bent as she tapped lightly on the table, making a soft tapping sound.
The room was quiet, and the dull tapping sound resonated in his heart. Shang Xu lowered his eyes quietly, silently counting the rhythm of her fingers falling. It was as if a small wooden mallet was beating in his heart, and his heartbeat unconsciously followed her rhythm.
Yan Yize withdrew his gaze from the window and looked at the person opposite him with his dark eyes. He saw that the person looked obedient and had been cooped up in the house for many days. He must be bored. Since it was still early and he had nothing else to do, he decided to do a good deed and take him out to relieve his boredom.
After thinking it over, she asked, "Would you like to go to the opera house to watch a play?"
A clear, crisp voice, like jade clashing, suddenly resounded in Shang Xu's ears. The tapping stopped at some point, and without rhythmic guidance, his heartbeat became erratic. He realized, a beat too slow, that she was talking to him.
Yan Yize didn't urge him, but calmly watched him. His gaze was drawn to the swaying eyelashes of the man. His eyelids were slightly lowered, and as his eyelids trembled, his raven-feather-like eyelashes also trembled slightly.
She stared intently, as if a child had discovered something interesting and wondered if his eyelashes would flutter faster or stop moving if she placed her hand on them.
Before she could come up with an answer, a clear, gentle voice pulled her back from her reverie. Shang Xu first silently repeated her words, then carefully considered her thoughts. After a few more seconds, he finally spoke, "Your Highness wishes to go see a play?"
“It wasn’t me.” Yan Yize shook his head listlessly. “It was you.”
"Do you want to go see a play?"
She wasn't particularly interested in watching plays, but it was a good way to pass the time on a snowy day. Most men enjoy tender and poignant stories, so she figured he would like them too.
Shang Xu froze, seemingly not yet having reacted. "Me?"
His stunned expression was strangely endearing, and Yan Yize's eyes lit up with laughter as he looked at him with amusement in his dark pupils. "Haven't you been bored after all these days of being cooped up?"
Bored? Shang Xu thought about it for a while and didn't think so. He was probably used to it. When he lived in the Shang family mansion, no one restricted his freedom. He could come and go as he pleased. But if he met any member of the Shang family, it was never a good thing. He would either be scolded or punished. Over time, he stopped liking to go out.
Though he was said to be a resident, he was more like a guest staying at the Shang residence. Shang Xu thought to himself with a self-deprecating smile, "guest" was too kind of him. After all, no guest could be scolded or punished as casually as he was.
Suddenly, a thought flashed through Shang Xu's mind: she was afraid he would be bored, which was why she came to dine with him every day. He looked up in surprise, his heart pounding with excitement at this thought.
He finally couldn't help but ask, "Is Your Highness keeping me company every day because you're worried I'll be bored?"
As soon as the last word was uttered, Shang Xu regretted it. How could he ask so many questions about her affairs? He lowered his head, subconsciously held his breath, curled his fingers, clenched his fists, and waited anxiously for the verdict.
Yan Yize paused, stumped by his question. The first time he came out of pity and a sense of responsibility, but what about the second and third times? Probably the same.
Dining at his place seemed like an extremely natural thing for her; she never thought about why, but simply came without thinking.
"Mm." She nodded.
A surge of warmth flowed through Shang Xu's heart. The emotions he had finally managed to calm down were suddenly stirred up again. He had always known that Yan Yize didn't like him, but even though she didn't like him, he had never been mistreated. In fact, the kindness he received from her far exceeded that from his nominal family.
Whether out of a sense of responsibility or not, in his heart, she was a very good person. Shang Xu was grateful at this moment, grateful that he could become her husband and be her husband. He was willing to do so.
A sudden wave of melancholy washed over him. It was a pity she didn't like him, and he wondered what kind of man could win her heart. If he could win her affection, it would surely be an incredibly happy thing. Shang Xu admitted that he was jealous—jealous of the man who would one day win her heart.
Thinking of this, he shook his head dejectedly, "Not boring."
This was a polite way of declining her offer.
Yan Yize frowned. "Are you worried about the inconvenience of movement?"
Shang Xu wanted to shake his head, but when he thought of the real reason he couldn't say, he could only remain silent. How could he let her know that he coveted her? She didn't like him to begin with, and he didn't want to add any more disgust to her under these circumstances.
When Yan Yize saw that he did not respond for a long time, she mistakenly thought that he agreed. In her opinion, with her there, his inconvenience was not a problem at all, and she felt that there was no need to ask him for his opinion anymore.
She got up and came to him. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect. Under his puzzled gaze, she bent down and reached out her hand in one smooth motion. By the time he realized what was happening, she was already in her arms.
Yan Yize stood up, picked him up and walked outside, his voice forceful and brooking no refusal, "Go out for a walk to clear your head, don't let yourself get bored."
Shang Xu nestled in her arms, looked up, and gazed at her sharply defined chin. His eyes were filled with mixed emotions; he didn't know whether he should be happy or angry. Yan Yize was a very good person, but unfortunately, she didn't like him.
If only I could be the one she likes.
A note from the author:
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