Chapter 103 I Have Always Been There
After taking a refreshing bath, Nan Qi carried Bai out again.
Bai recovered this time, feeling a little embarrassed about how he had hugged Nan Qi and acted like a spoiled child. He buried his face in Nan Qi's neck like an ostrich, pretending nothing had happened.
Nan Qi chuckled, feeling that Bai was even more adorable without his steady and mature look.
In front of your beloved partner, you have to know how to act coquettishly, that's the fun.
After putting Bai on the bed and tucking him into the quilt, Nan Qi also lay down beside Bai and looked at him sideways.
Nan Qi's hair had grown longer, with the ends falling softly into the exposed clavicle. Because he had eaten and slept well in the past month, his skin was smoother and whiter than when he was on Potter Star, and he was simply radiant.
She had just finished taking a shower, and there was still a red blush on her face from the heat, and her eyes were as clear as if they had been washed with water.
Such beautiful eyes were full of tenderness. Bai's heart softened when he saw Nan Qi's fiery gaze, and he couldn't help but kiss Nan Qi's eyes.
This was his treasure, the treasure he had found on the outermost planet.
Feeling the cherishment in Bai's kiss, Nan Qi relaxed even more. He put his arms around Bai's waist, turned over and lay on Bai's chest, Bai's strong heartbeat ringing in his ears.
The sound was vibrant and powerful, though a little too fast. Nan Qi looked up at Bai and saw that his face and ears were red. He understood.
With a light laugh, Nan Qi turned over and lay down for a while. He picked up Bai and let Bai lie on his chest. After a while, he spoke softly: "Bai, do you mind telling me about your past?"
Nan Qi's hand gently stroked Bai's hair, his voice becoming softer and softer: "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. Every insect has things it doesn't want to talk about or think about, and I have them too. I'm asking because I want to understand you better and know how to love you so that you can feel more secure."
Bai didn't answer immediately. When Nan Qi asked, an indescribable feeling of grievance, sadness and fear suddenly surged up from deep in his heart.
But soon, Nan Qi's soothing touch and gentle words calmed him down instantly. The grievance, sadness and fear disappeared, and only incomparable peace remained in his heart.
In fact, before Nan Qi mentioned it, Bai felt that he had already been able to not care about his painful past. He was very strong, so strong that almost nothing could hurt him.
But just after Nan Qi asked this question, the past scenes flashed through his mind like a movie, and Bai realized that what he thought was indifference was just self-hypnosis.
Hypnotize yourself to not care and not think about it.
But those were his real experiences, how could he easily forget them?
During the period after he was rescued by the teacher, he studied and trained day and night, keeping himself spinning like a top, so that he could fall asleep during breaks and stop thinking about those dark experiences.
But even so, when he woke up in the middle of the night, he would still return to the place he feared the most, trapped in a dream where there was no teacher, no Mellon and the others, only himself.
He felt as if his soul had left his body as he watched his disguise being removed, being forcibly sent to the auction, and being bought by insects whose faces he couldn't see. They smiled maliciously at him, stretched out their hands to tear his body apart, but he couldn't move a single muscle...
It is said that one cannot see colors or smell anything in dreams, but during that period, in his dreams, apart from the blood-red color, there was also a nauseating stench.
This dream was like a demon, sticking to him like a shadow, almost making him unable to distinguish between reality and dreams. If Pu Bo had not discovered that something was wrong with him, he would probably have gone crazy in no time.
When the teacher found out, he took him to another planet and met a very old female insect who had given birth to old children.
Only after he lived with the female insect for a year did he begin to distinguish between reality and dreams and was able to communicate with the insect normally.
Later, he learned that the female insect was his teacher's paternal father - Daisy Percy.
It was also at that time that he learned that the teacher took his female father's surname, and his male father had died on the battlefield before the teacher was born.
After the teacher's male father died, some insects forced the teacher's female father Daisy to remarry, and wanted to sell the teacher after he was born.
It was Daisy's wisdom and decisiveness that saved the teacher and Daisy herself, and Daisy escaped.
Mei Chong thought that the female insect, who was close to giving birth, had the energy to escape, so he didn't stare at Daisy. Daisy took the opportunity to run away.
While escaping, Daisy gave birth to her teacher and named her Ayou Percy, Ayou being the surname of her father.
Later, Daisy and his teacher traveled to many planets. They picked up scraps, lived on the streets, met bugs that treated them kindly and helped them, and also met bugs that wanted to squeeze every last bit of value out of them.
But in the end, Daisy and her teacher survived. Daisy got a stable job, raised her teacher safely, and sent her to military school.
After waking up, he felt that it might be Daisy's unique tenacity and gentleness that calmed him down little by little and prevented him from going crazy.
He was already very lucky. He met a kind-hearted miner and survived, and he also met his teacher at the most critical moment.
He could no longer be hypocritical and had to look forward to live up to his teacher's life-saving grace, Daisy's care, and his friends' care.
From then on, with Daisy's help, he chose to face those unbearable dreams, and tore apart with his own hands the disgusting bugs in his dreams who had bad intentions towards him and whose faces he couldn't see clearly. He suppressed those past events in his heart and forced himself not to think about them or care about them.
Perhaps willpower is the closest thing to God in this world. When your will is not moved by external things, you can overcome everything.
He did it, and those memories were no longer the demons that haunted him. He felt that he could face the new life with a new attitude.
He had been doing this for so many years and thought he was healed, but in fact he was not.
Because Nan Qi saw it, saw that he was insecure, saw his inferiority, and saw that he could not be proud.
He vaguely remembered that when he left that little planet and that little courtyard that made him feel so warm, Daisy had gently stroked his face and said to him kindly:
"Bai, you can only truly move on from this dark experience when you can openly tell a bug who doesn't know what you've been through, without any reservations."
It turned out that at that time, the wise Daisy had already realized that she was just hypnotizing herself and controlling herself.
Now, Nan Qi asked himself, does this mean that Nan Qi is the lucky star that will help him walk out of the past and head towards the future?
It must be, Nan Qi must be his lucky star.
"There's nothing I can't tell you." After a long silence, Bai listened to Nan Qi's heartbeat, and told Nan Qi his experience bit by bit in a calm voice.
It is neither complicated nor simple.
To put it simply, it can be divided into three stages.
The first stage was before the age of 8. It was one of the happiest periods in Bai's life, with a beautiful female father, a gentle male father, two amiable grandfathers, and a happy family of five.
Xiong's father is an architectural design engineer with a high income. Their family lives happily together, but on the eve of Bai's 8th birthday, something unexpected happens.
One day, the male father, who had been on a business trip for two months, suddenly returned home at noon. He was covered in blood and his face was pale as if he was seriously ill. As soon as he entered the house, he asked the female father to take them with him and leave quickly, and they could talk on the way if they had anything to say.
Seeing how anxious the male father was, the female father knew that the situation was not good, so she obediently woke him up from his nap, took the valuables at home, and pulled the two grandfathers onto the aircraft.
But just as they were about to reach the starship yard in their aircraft, something unexpected happened. A cargo aircraft overturned and crashed straight into their aircraft.
Amidst the panic and screams, Bai felt that he was firmly protected by his female father and two grandfathers. His male father also gave up resistance and wanted to come over to hug him.
Then, there was a loud bang, and their aircraft was knocked heavily to the ground. He felt a sharp pain in his arm and then lost consciousness.
When he regained consciousness, he was in a large room with no sunlight or light.
He didn't know how he ended up in this dark room. His arm, which had been in great pain before he passed out, didn't have a single wound. However, there was a bandage on his head, and he felt like vomiting whenever he moved.
In this big dark room, besides him, there were many female insects that were about the same size as him, or even a little bigger, and a dozen or so young male insects with strong mental strength.
The second stage is after the age of 8, when they are bought and trained to become intelligence spies.
Of course, Bai, who was only 8 years old at the time, didn't know about this. He only knew that those beautiful, cheerful and cute insects would be taken away.
Some did not return, and those who were able to return became silent, or even delirious and babbling, and were then beaten to death.
A female insect who took care of Bai when he was unconscious secretly told Bai that these insects that were taken away were all going to learn how to serve insects, and some of them would become the top insects in the club in the future.
Bai was scared. He was only 8 years old and didn't know what the top star of the club was. He just thought that those insects who could come back but turned into insects were so scary. He didn't want to be the top star and just wanted to go home.
In such a depressing atmosphere, time passed day by day, the number of insects in the small dark room decreased day by day, and the female insect that took care of him was also picked away.
He hadn't grown up yet at that time, and he didn't want to be the top star. He made himself look dirty and unlovable, so the bugs didn't choose him.
After a few days, the remaining insects were sent to the mine to work as laborers carrying ore.
After living a hard life here for several years, he finally figured out what kind of place he was sold to, where those transferred female insects went, and his future fate.
They were bought by this organization to be trained as spies, so there were requirements for their appearance, eloquence, and figure.
After learning the jobs of serving insects and all kinds of knowledge about being a spy, they will be sent to various planets.
Some of them become the top girls in the club, some become the female servants of a big boss, some become ordinary female servants in the club, and some become the lowest prostitutes hiding in the dirtiest alleys.
They have to use their wisdom, bodies, and even their lives to exchange for piece of information one after another, until their identities are exposed or they are scrapped like garbage, and then they can find peace.
Bai once witnessed the most miserable appearance of the female insect who took care of him. He had endured all kinds of studies, but because his grades were not good enough, he was thrown into a dirty alley and became the lowest prostitute. In the end, he died miserably on a muddy and rainy night.
Those who are left out like Bai are not safe either. There will be five more selections between the ages of 15 and 20. Those who are selected will also have to undergo various trainings and be sent to various planets.
In the third stage, on the eve of his 15th birthday, the organization's reach was too long, which alarmed Ayo Percy, who was still an admiral. As a result, the organization was destroyed by accident, and the miners were also rescued.
Because of his extraordinary mental power, he was accepted as a disciple by General Aiyou Percy.
What follows is a story about him studying hard, being almost defeated by a dream, and being saved by Daisy.
"Later, I overcame the dream, returned to my teacher to continue my studies, joined the military, and fought on the battlefield..." Bai raised his head, looking at Nan Qi's gradually red eyes, and his voice became lower and lower. "The rest is very boring, and there is no need to..."
"Bai!" Nan Qi interrupted Bai and hugged Bai tightly with his strong arms. At this moment, he didn't want to say anything, he just wanted to hug Bai tightly and tell him that everything was over and he would accompany him on the future.
"I will always be with you. Whenever you look back, I will be behind you!" Nan Qi whispered.
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