Chapter 44 Desire and Loss of Control (Part 1) The sound of running water in the bathroom...
"..." In the quiet, dark room, Yan Quan remained silent for a long while without replying.
Outside the window, the branches and leaves rustled softly in the slanting drizzle. It sounded like Yan Ceyan's heavy breaths brushing against Yan Quan's neck.
"You want me... I'll... help you take it off?"
Yan Quan's ears suddenly felt like they were on fire, and he repeated what Yan Ceyan had just said, his voice halting.
"Hmm." Yan Ceyan nodded first, then softened his voice, sounding a bit like a big wolfhound wagging its tail and acting cute.
"Is it not allowed?"
As they spoke, Yan Ceyan moved his fingers, which were tucked between Yan Quan's hair, slightly away and gently pressed them against Yan Quan's pointed earlobe, his calloused fingertips rubbing against it.
...Yan Quan's earlobes were already very sensitive, and because of Yan Ceyan's action, they were now so red they were almost bleeding.
"If you don't take off your wet clothes in time, you'll catch a bad cold," Yan Ceyan continued.
Yan Quan: "..."
It feels like I shot myself in the foot.
Seeing that Yan Quan did not nod in agreement, Yan Ceyan kept staring at Yan Quan, his pupils under his single eyelids shining brightly in the dark space.
Yan Quan felt as if a fire was crackling and burning inside.
Desire/Fire.
If they keep watching, they'll be completely exposed.
"Wait a minute..." Yan Quan bit her lower lip lightly.
With a "click," the pheromone collar on the back of her neck was adjusted to its highest setting. Then Yan Quan slowly finished speaking: "It's okay now."
Yan Ceyan frowned slightly upon seeing this, his fingers resting on the edge of Yan Quan's pheromone-blocking ring: "Aren't you uncomfortable?"
The maximum threshold of blocking will make the wearer's pheromone release feel very uncomfortable.
"..." Yan Quan's hand, which was about to unbutton Yan Ceyan's first shirt button, paused—
Yan Zhengdong's task for Yan Quan was to have as close contact as possible to induce Yan Ceyan's manic episode, so that he could better pressure the Yan family to negotiate terms when vying for "that big project."
But Yan Quan was unwilling to follow this completely; his subconscious was subtly contradicting him.
Although this was an act of "exploitation," and although "harm" was unavoidable, Yan Quan still hoped to minimize the impact on Yan Ceyan.
"It will be very dangerous."
Yan Quan's fingers, which had been frozen in place, began to move again, resting on the first button of Yan Ceyan's shirt. As she unbuttoned it, she cleverly offered a reason:
"Two Alphas together could be very dangerous if things get out of control."
This is a large part of why homosexuality is not accepted by society. Alphas are inherently competitive and repulsive towards the pheromones of their own kind.
Even in the niche sexual orientation of "AA" (Alpha-Alpha) that arose during genetic evolution, two Alphas are extremely prone to excessive pheromone clashes during sex, leading to extreme events of overreaction and loss of control. For example, one party might lose their temper and kill the other.
"..." Yan Ceyan gave another soft "hmm." He neither confirmed nor denied the reason.
The rustling sound of fabric rubbing together filled the room, and soon, the last button on Yan Ceyan's school uniform shirt was undone.
"You've been keeping your head down the whole time." Yan Ceyan's gaze remained unabashedly fixed on Yan Quan, his voice sounding somewhat hoarse: "Why didn't you look at me?"
This sentence translates to something like: Are you reluctant? Yan Quan detected a hint of "grievance" and "possessiveness" in Yan Ceyan's tone.
It's likely that being dumped leaves this aftereffect: a lack of security after getting back together.
So Yan Quan raised his head and looked at Yan Ceyan seriously—Yan Ceyan had taken off his shirt and was completely naked from the waist up.
Although Yan Quan appears to be a "playboy" and has dated many boyfriends, she has only ever gone as far as kissing her exes. Whenever an Alpha ex makes unwanted advances or expresses a desire to "take things further" with Yan Quan, she will ruthlessly dump them.
So this was the first time Yan Quan had been in such close contact with an Alpha, and the first time he had seen the body of a strong, mature Alpha male.
Yan Ceyan was very tall, about 1.9 meters. His broad, upright shoulders were almost twice the size of Yan Quan's. Perhaps due to regular training, even when his arms were hanging down calmly, the muscles in his arms were firm and powerful, exuding a strong sense of aggression and strength.
Looking at his upper body alone, Yan Ceyan is very large, like a giant, giving people a strong sense of oppression from above.
However, Yan Ceyan's waist is very firm, with clearly defined abdominal muscles that taper into a narrow shape, forming an inverted triangle with his broad shoulders in a golden ratio.
It exudes an indescribable...sexy charm.
"Hmm..." Yan Quan's gaze lingered on Yan Ceyan's body for several seconds before he quickly lowered his head again. He felt like his earlobes were about to burn.
"Why aren't you watching anymore?" Yan Ceyan frowned slightly again.
"Cough...cough." Yan Quan forced himself to calm down, took a step back and put a little distance between himself and Yan Ceyan: "I'm very wet, I need to take a shower. Otherwise I'll catch a cold."
"Here." Yan Quan turned around, pulled his large bath blanket from the clothes rack next to him, and threw it over Yan Ceyan's equally wet upper body.
"There's a spare school uniform in the closet, you can wear that for now."
"There's a public bathroom at the end of this floor, go there to shower." After saying these two sentences, Yan Quan turned around and went into the bathroom.
"..." Yan Ceyan stood there stunned for a moment, his fingers digging into the cotton, fluffy bath blanket. Then he brought it to his nose and took a deep breath.
The sweet scent of oranges filled his chest, and Yan Ceyan's eyes deepened and darkened...
*
Yan Ceyan took a bath very quickly, or rather, Yan Quan took a bath too slowly.
In short, when Yan Ceyan returned to Yan Quan's dormitory from the communal bathroom, drying his wet hair with a bath blanket, Yan Quan was still taking a shower.
The dripping water pattered on the floor, and a blurry white figure could be seen through the frosted glass door of the bathroom...
He couldn't see anything clearly, but Yan Ceyan's throat was inexplicably dry.
Hearing Yan Ceyan's footsteps at the door, Yan Quan's voice, mingled with the sound of water, drifted over softly:
"You're done washing? I need to take a while longer..."
"Why don't you sit on the chair outside and wait for a bit?"
"Hmm." Yan Ceyan responded softly and obediently sat down on the sofa chair outside the door. But his gaze remained magnetically fixed on the indistinct figure on the frosted glass door of the bathroom.
I still can't see anything clearly.
But Yan Ceyan has a very sensitive hearing—the sound of bare feet splashing in the water, the rubbing of hands on skin, the soft humming of someone comfortably enjoying the water temperature…
These subtle details, like a pen, began to clearly emerge in Yan Ceyan's mind, sketching out Yan Quan's body.
The hazy white figure before my eyes gradually became clearer and clearer – a slender and beautiful swan neck, shoulders that could be encircled with one hand, a thin waist, and long, straight, white legs…
"Hoo..." Lost in thought, Yan Ceyan lowered his head, letting out a soft sigh involuntarily, "Yan Quan, Sweet Orange..."
The more Yan Ceyan murmured, the more he could feel a strange, burning fire in his chest, his skin temperature rising and becoming hot, and his blood and qi surging towards a certain spot...
This was the scene that Yan Quan saw as soon as he stepped out of the bathroom.
Actually, I didn't look too closely at first (Yan Ceyan lowered his head, his face obscured by strands of hair). I only noticed it when Yan Quan got closer.
Yan Ceyan's deep, dark pupils were somewhat unfocused, staring absently at a small spot on the floor, lost in thought. The bath blanket, still faintly scented with orange pheromones, was tightly twisted and wrapped in Yan Ceyan's hands, its fabric undulating against the curves of his waist and abdomen...
Yan Ceyan was wearing school pants that were a size too small for Yan Quan's size. Although they were loose straight-leg pants, the wrinkles were noticeably bunched up, making even the slightest physical reactions very noticeable against the fabric.
"?!" Realizing Yan Quan was approaching, Yan Ceyan looked up in a fluster.
For the first time, Yan Quan noticed a faint blush on Yan Ceyan's lower eyelids and cheeks—a misty, wet look, a tangible manifestation of desire.
"I..." Yan Ceyan said, about to stand up and walk out, but Yan Quan couldn't bear to remind him that... it would seem even stranger.
"Are you just going to go out like this?" Yan Quan called out to him.
"I'm sorry." Yan Ceyan turned around and stood there helplessly, apologizing to Yan Quan in a low voice.
Yan Quan didn't understand why Yan Ceyan was apologizing. An 18-year-old Alpha, at the most impulsive age, was actually apologizing for his "physiological instincts."
With a "click," Yan Quan put the pheromone-blocking ring back on, turned the setting to the highest, and then gently beckoned to Yan Ceyan: "Little dog, come here."
Yan Ceyan's behavior at times really resembles that of a small dog (scratch that) a big dog. For example, even in such an awkward situation, he still obediently followed Yan Quan's instructions and came back.
After walking back, Yan Quan pulled Yan Ceyan backward, causing Yan Ceyan to slump back into the chair he had been sitting in.
Yan Ceyan looked up at Yan Quan, completely bewildered.
Without giving Yan Ceyan any time to think, Yan Quan straddled Yan Ceyan's lap.
Yan Ceyan could feel his body getting even hotter. This time it was even more intense, like a volcano about to erupt: "Why...why?"
Yan Quan reached out and cupped Yan Ceyan's cheeks, lifting his chin slightly to meet his gaze. "Why do you think so?"
Yan Ceyan's eyes twitched, and he lowered his head slightly, wanting to look down: he felt that the thing was dirty... and would dirty Yan Quan.
"Don't look down, little dog." Yan Quan's tone was somewhat authoritative, and he lifted Yan Ceyan's chin to look at him: "Look at me."
Being held by Yan Quan's warm fingers made Yan Ceyan feel very comfortable (even in this awkward and somewhat uncomfortable situation).
So Yan Ceyan remained frozen in that dazed position, completely still. Of course... that thing didn't follow reason; it might (actually) have already reached Yan Quan... Thinking of this, Yan Ceyan felt a little ashamed.
At that very moment, Yan Quan's voice drifted down from above his ear. "Yan Ceyan, you don't need to apologize."
This seemed to be a very important statement, so Yan Quan repeated it again: "Yan Ceyan, you don't need to apologize for your behavior just now. You didn't do anything to hurt me."
"Hoo..." Yan Ceyan's warm, moist breaths became heavy upon hearing this. "Mmm," Yan Ceyan responded softly.
Most of the time, when he doesn't know what to say, he'll just say "uh-huh".
Yan Quan's fingers traced the edge of Yan Ceyan's strong jawline, finally falling down his chin to Yan Ceyan's lips.
"I knew you would do this because you like me."
Yan Quan thought that perhaps Yan Ceyan really lacked a sense of security in this relationship. That's why he "apologized," feeling ashamed of his instincts, which made Yan Quan unhappy.
"When you like someone, you do have some strange thoughts, right?" Yan Quan decided to soften her tone and guide Yan Ceyan—
"For example, I'm sitting on your lap right now, cupping your face in my hands." Yan Quan's fingers, resting on Yan Ceyan's lips, gently pressed lightly, one after another.
"It's also because... I like you." Yan Quan was lying. But it was also the first time Yan Quan had bitten her tongue while lying.
In retrospect, Yan Ceyan recalled that it was probably Yan Quan's unconscious action and... the words "I like you" that he said.
Like an atomic bomb suddenly dropped on a wasteland, it sparked and ignited all of Yan Ceyan's restless and long-awaited desires.
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