Chapter 72 The Game of Chasing Hearts: Loving someone can make you foolish and ugly...
Yan Quan had a dream.
A very, very long dream.
The dream begins with a childhood memory that has faded and yellowed.
At that time, Yan Quan lived at the corner of Baisha Street, in the last room on the second-to-last floor of the first tenement building.
"One, two, one," 13-year-old Yan Quan always had to repeat, holding up his fingers to count the rows of rusty and dilapidated security bars before he could find his home.
Yan Quan was certainly not a stupid child. On the contrary, he was extremely clever. In just one night, he easily made a fortune from the underground black market.
Those suckers, rolling in money but utterly stupid, couldn't even see through such blatant cheating and kept placing bets.
Thinking they had "victory in the bag," they went all in, only to end up losing everything.
They've gone so far as to practically offer money to Yan Quan for free. Yan Quan had no choice but to accept it.
Having found his way home, Yan Quan counted his banknotes with practiced ease as he walked up the stairs. The rustling sound echoed rapidly through the narrow stairwell.
After counting the money, Yan Quan clicked his tongue in annoyance: "The bookmaker above me has embezzled my money again."
Yan Quan walked to the third floor from the bottom, and it was still barely dawn.
The tenement buildings on Baisha Street stand side by side, crammed together. The lights are like tiny beans, scattered here and there, weak yet dense, creating a chaotic mess.
The walls in the stairwell are mottled and moldy, with large patches of the outer layer peeling off, revealing the red bricks or cement underneath.
With a click, the key twisted forcefully, unlocking the heavy door. Yan Quan cautiously pried the door open and cautiously peered inside—
A small coffee table sat simply in the room, and a thin, elongated shadow lay hastily on the low sofa next to it. A woman's slender arm emerged from the wrinkled blanket, her skin as pale as death.
"Rolling—" A disposable injection needle rolled off the coffee table... The rich, almost cloying scent of roses filled the entire living room.
It's happening again... A bitter feeling welled up in Yan Quan's heart: he wished that Wu Yingxue would stand up angrily, put her hands on her hips, and "catch" him.
It's better than lying on the sofa like this, looking so pathetic and pathetic.
“Fool…” Yan Quan frowned slightly, his gaze towards Wu Yingxue filled with tenderness.
"Is it really comfortable to sleep like this?" Yan Quan turned Wu Yingxue, who was lying face down and fast asleep, over and positioned her limbs in a comfortable, flat position.
Yan Quan filled a towel with warm water from the bathroom, wrung it out, and gently wiped Wu Yingxue's sweat-dampened temples: "Why do you always torture yourself like this..."
Even though she looks terrible right now, you have to admit she's an extremely beautiful woman.
Her gentle facial features have become more charming with the passage of time. Her high nose bridge and slightly sunken cheeks complement each other, creating a beautiful, delicate face.
Yan Quan's undeniable beauty stemmed entirely from this woman. They shared the same exceptional bone structure: a high, straight nose, and smooth facial curves…
Indeed, the student surpasses the teacher. Yan Quan's sharp eyes and jawline, compared to her mother's pure and gentle appearance, possess a more alluring and aggressive beauty.
"Ugh... Hmph..." During the gentle wiping, Wu Yingxue's brows remained furrowed, and she let out a few broken whimpers in pain: "It hurts... It hurts."
Yan Quan sighed deeply, his fingers moving even more gently, as if he were sharing in the woman's pain: "It must be very painful."
Once an omega is permanently marked, the removal of an alpha's pheromones will cause them excruciating withdrawal symptoms, especially during their heat cycle...
The glands are red, swollen, and itchy, and it feels like a million ants are crawling all over my body... The pheromone markers will burrow into every inch of my skin and flesh, savagely and shamelessly clamoring for soothing.
The brain's central nervous system collapsed so completely under the instinctive control of pheromones.
During their heat cycle, Omegas, like wild beasts, lose all reason and recklessly approach the Alph source. They resort to scalding with boiling water, crushing with shards of glass, and burning with charcoal…
Having lost all dignity, omegas crawl like dogs to the feet of their Alpha partners—at this point, they can hardly be considered human.
It's just a lump of rotting flesh in heat.
"It's in such a terrible state, let's go wash off the markings..." Yan Quan finished wiping Wu Yingxue and then quietly sealed the discarded syringes.
Then, with practiced ease, he pulled out a box from under the sofa, tightened the caps of the haphazardly opened medicine bottles, and neatly placed them inside along with the remaining reagents.
The box has a large logo for omega-control drugs printed on it, along with the words "Omega-specific inhibitor / Use with caution outside of estrus".
"Would they rather take this banned drug suppressant, end up with a host of side effects, than leave with his mark?"
"You love him that much?" Yan Quan frowned, her tone angry at his lack of self-control, but her eyes were filled with tenderness.
"Does he love you? If he truly loved you, would he have left us here to fend for ourselves? Would he have remained silent for so many years?"
"He...he has his reasons." Wu Yingxue, who had been lying quietly, suddenly opened her eyes.
Time never defeats a beautiful woman.
Especially Wu Yingxue's eyes—they hardly look old.
Her eyes were shaped like willow leaves, long and graceful. The pupils were a very light color, as if covered with a layer of dew, making her look delicate and pitiful.
Her voice was so soft it seemed to melt water: "Qiuqiu, you didn't see how happy he was after I gave birth to you... He loves me, and he loves you too..."
"But... but he had no choice in the matter."
"You don't know, this is a crucial time... Your dad, he, he's very capable..."
When that man was mentioned, Wu Yingxue's tone unconsciously rose, her high-pitched voice becoming distorted.
Wu Yingxue hugged Yan Quan's shoulders tightly. It seemed that only in this way could she find her only support in her wandering and helpless life.
"So, Quan Quan, please be good and don't run around outside anymore, okay? What will I do if something happens to you?"
"Qianqian, I know you don't like it here. Just bear with it a little longer, and we'll be able to leave soon."
"Soon," "Immediately," "In a while"... Yan Quan was tired of hearing the same few phrases over and over again.
He stopped believing it a long time ago.
"Mom, you've said this a million times since I was little." Yan Quan said helplessly, "It's been 13 years."
Yan Quan was born and raised on Baisha Street. To him, the world was a dirty tenement building and a tiny patch of sky slanted across by a crooked telephone pole.
He and his mother were like two rats in a sewer, lurking in the dark and sunless sewer... Yan Quan didn't know what his mother was afraid of, or why they had to "hide".
"This time it's for real! Soon... soon. Soon you'll have a legitimate father." Wu Yingxue's high-pitched voice suddenly turned into sobs, her thin lips pursed, and her eyes instantly filled with fine tears.
A surge of resentment rose in Yan Quan's chest for no apparent reason, and he coldly shook off Wu Yingxue's hand that was on his shoulder: "I don't have a father."
“I’ve never seen him since I was a child… Why should I share his surname, Yan? Your name is Wu Yingxue, so I should be surnamed Wu.”
"What father in the world would abandon his child and leave him alone?"
"This place is such a mess, are we just supposed to fend for ourselves?"
"If I really had a father, we should be living together in a safe and comfortable house, not here living in constant fear, afraid that one day I'll get shot in the head..."
“I don’t need to go to the black market to earn money to buy food, clothes, necessities, and your inhibitor drug for the family. I can do that too…”
Yan Quan clenched his fists tightly around the roll of greasy banknotes in his pocket, and his voice suddenly lowered:
"I can go to school too."
"I...I..." Wu Yingxue blinked her watery eyes, speechless.
Even children understand this principle, so how could adults not understand it...? They're just deceiving themselves.
But now, even that illusory bubble has been easily burst. Therefore, a hint of doubt and panic inevitably flashed in Wu Yingxue's eyes.
"No, that's not it. Qunqun, how could you think of your father like that..."
Wu Yingxue clutched her cotton blouse tightly to her chest again. Her breathing quickened, as if she desperately wanted to prove something. "Yes, yes... because of the recent reform of the household registration system..."
"The authorities are cracking down hard; everyone has to register... especially children your age."
“Yan Quan, Quan Quan, baby…” Wu Yingxue gently stroked the back of Yan Quan’s head, her murmured words tinged with a dreamy quality: “We can’t let them find out about you.”
Her legs went limp as she sat on the cold floor, her pupils gradually becoming lifeless, mechanically repeating, "Your father, he's your father...he'll find out..."
"We're staying here only to avoid being noticed for now..."
"Yes, yes!" Wu Yingxue suddenly went crazy, with unbelievable strength, and pulled Yan Quan back from behind and held him down tightly.
"His blood flows in your veins, he won't abandon you... He, he will definitely acknowledge you..."
Disheveled hair and the cold liquid that flowed down his face cascaded onto Yan Quan's shoulder blades, and his weak, feeble breaths resembled those of a drowning person grasping at a last straw.
“Yan Quan, Quan Quan, my darling… you can inherit the family business. That woman only gave him an Omega…”
Wu Yingxue was crying and laughing at the same time. Her demure face was no longer the delicate beauty she once was. Only her thin bones protruded, making her look sinister and terrifying... as if she were cursing someone else, or perhaps talking about herself.
"Heh, the one who has the least is Omega. Omega can be controlled by pheromones... becoming playthings to be trampled on at will."
“Yan Quan, Quan Quan, my darling… I only have you left…” The woman’s desperate wailing echoed repeatedly on the empty, silent ceiling, “He won’t abandon you… He won’t… He won’t.”
"He said he loved me, he said he only married her for power and profit, and only I... only I can bring him happiness!"
“He marked me, it was a lifelong mark. The most precious thing for an Omega is a lifelong mark... I gave him everything.”
"But how could he? He can't abandon me... How could he abandon me..."
The woman's desperate roar lingered in her ears for a long, long time... Yan Quan knew that her mother had long since gone mad.
Branded with the Alpha's lifelong mark on the back of her neck, yet her heat cycles remain unsatisfied. Wu Yingxue's mind has become excessively paranoid—she's like a walking corpse, desperately wanting to return to that man's side.
Even if it's just a fling, even if that man has long since abandoned him, even if he continues to live like this, barely scraping by...
She still loved him. She loved him unconditionally.
She loved him humbly and desperately.
So when she lost her own attractiveness, she pitifully offered Yan Quan as her only bargaining chip.
They lost all dignity and were utterly reduced to a reproductive appendage.
“Mom…” Yan Quan really wanted to cry. But her eyes were so dry that not a single tear could fall—children who grow up in Baisha Street always lose the ability to cry too early.
"Mom, please forget him. Please... forget him."
Yan Quan leaned down and hugged Wu Yingxue tightly. Wu Yingxue's tears dripped down her nose and onto Yan Quan's cheeks... At first, they were burning hot, but then they gradually turned cold...
Yan Quan took Wu Yingxue's tears as his own.
He held Wu Yingxue tightly by the shoulders, his fingers covering the woman's scarred and mangled neck glands. His fingertips lightly pressed against the permanent mark—clearly a result of brutal biting, deep, ugly, and irregularly shaped.
"See? Even his marking is so barbaric." Yan Quan's lips curled into a mocking yet bitter smile.
So how could he possibly truly love you?
"Mom, I'm 13 years old now, and I'm so tall, I'm half a head taller than you... Mom, I'm amazing, I made a lot of money on the black market last night..."
"Don't think about him anymore, look at me. Mom, aren't I your dear baby..." Yan Quan buried her head in Wu Yingxue's neck.
Wu Yingxue's excessively thin frame caused her neck bones to sink deeply, the protruding edges digging painfully into her skin. Yan Quan's heart ached even more, and he held the woman tighter and tighter.
"Mom, I will take care of you and I will protect you."
A child's hoarse and tender voice, piercing through damp hair and temples, reached the eardrum: "Mommy, I'll make lots of money. Let's leave here, go to the best hospital, and wash the marks off, okay?"
The same words, punctuated by the woman's intermittent sobs, were repeated by the child over and over: "Forget him, Mom, please...forget him..."
"Quanquan, do you think I don't want to... but it's too difficult... too painful." Wu Yingxue seemed to have cried enough, and just kept shaking her head while holding Yan Quan's arm, the lines at the corners of her eyes twisted in a horrifying and absurd way.
"Over the years... I've tried countless times, but I just can't do it. I simply can't forget him."
"Look, look..." Wu Yingxue frantically knelt down and pulled Yan Quan's hand over, placing Yan Quan's palm below her collarbone, near her heart.
“There’s an empty space here… nothing left.” Wu Yingxue’s hair lay down in a messy, disheveled state, her face a mixture of crying and laughing, looking just like a concubine in a cold palace.
“QunQun, you’re too young… so you don’t understand. He took my heart away.”
Wu Yingxue's lips were dry and peeling from lack of water. She opened and closed them, muttering incoherently, "A person will die without their heart... so I can't live without it anymore..."
"Leaving him would be no different from being dead."
A framed photo sits on the bedside table in the closet at home, showing 18-year-old Wu Yingxue smiling brightly at the camera.
She was radiant and youthful then, a stark contrast to the destitute and out-of-control madwoman she is now... Who is the culprit?
It's that "father" who deserves to be torn to pieces, the irrational Omega physiological structure, and the inhibitor with excessively severe side effects...
No, something else is missing... the most important thing.
Yan Quan faced Wu Yingxue, gazing at the face that bore a striking resemblance to his own... as if looking in a mirror.
A chill, as if falling into an ice cellar, spread throughout Yan Quan's body. At that moment, Yan Quan clearly understood: it was love.
A strong instinct for self-defense suddenly surged from the deepest part of Yan Quan's heart—this was too embarrassing.
Loving someone can make you foolish, ugly, and humble.
Clenching his fists, Yan Quan gritted his teeth and thought to himself: He would never fall in love with anyone else.
He never wants to become like this in his life. Even if it means death.
...
Yan Quan's long dream didn't end; the scene shifted to midsummer. More accurately—the sweltering and endless rainy season.
That day, Yan Quan visited the "Yan Family" for the first time.
Because of a funeral.
The main figures at the funeral were Yan Zhengdong's first wife and his only son.
No one expected that unexpected car accident. In the most critical moment, the loving mother and her dutiful child both tried to shield each other with their bodies...
That's why they both died on the spot.
Yan Quan, holding an umbrella, stood discreetly at the edge of the crowd of mourners—because his identity had not yet been revealed to the public, others regarded him as an ordinary guest.
"Oh, how pitiful."
The funeral service was long and complicated, and soon Yan Quan heard the whispers and sighs of the guests who had come to mourn.
"God is truly cruel, to have someone so young... Madam is also kind-hearted... If only this accident hadn't happened."
"If nothing unexpected happens..." Yan Quan looked up at the mist droplets falling from the sky, recalling the eyes of Yan Zhengdong when they first met, which were originally filled with sorrow and despair—but in an instant, they shone with a faint light.
If the "only child" hadn't died... and his mother had taken over, Yan Quan's "entry" into the Yan family wouldn't have been as smooth as it is now.
Turning his gaze back to the rain-washed marble tombstone, Yan Quan stared intently at the black-and-white photograph of the smiling young man.
Logically speaking, Yan Quan should call him "brother".
"Indeed... she's a very kind person."
Yan Quan silently thought to himself:
"Thank you, brother."
Just as he finished silently saying thank you, a commotion broke out in the crowd. Yan Quan was pushed and shoved aside.
The focus of the whispering crowd began to shift.
"It's rare to see the entire Yan family here."
"Shh~ You don't know this, do you? Yan Zhengdong's wife used to be the adopted daughter of the Yan family patriarch. Although they've severed ties, Mr. Yan still remembers some brotherly and sisterly affection, doesn't he?"
As the Yan family members approached the tombstone, the noisy crowd automatically parted to make way, pushing and shoving Yan Quan, who was already at the edge.
Just as he brushed past a figure, Yan Quan was inexplicably bumped into, his wrist slipped... Rainwater streamed down the edge of the umbrella, dripping and soaking Yan Quan's trouser legs. The sticky, damp feeling made Yan Quan very uncomfortable.
Yan Quan angrily raised the umbrella higher, instinctively wanting to see the "culprit" that had gotten him wet.
The first thing that catches the eye is a scar on the side of the face, gleaming with a cold light in the rain and mist.
Very tall...
A faint floral scent brushed past Yan Quan's nose. Despite being mixed with rain, Yan Quan instantly recognized it—"Alpha".
Yan Quan didn't recognize this Alpha.
Fortunately, at this moment, the onlookers "tacitly" exclaimed, "So this is... the young master of the Yan family?"
"He's just like his father."
I don't care how strict you are, I don't care if you're short or not...
After the others had gone far away, Yan Quan stared at the black figure in the distance. In the rain and mist, he silently mouthed, "Idiot."
As if telepathically connected, "Young Master Yan" suddenly turned his head and looked over—his gaze met Yan Quan's...
It only takes 0.01 seconds.
That marked the end of their eye contact.
Because Yan Quan reacted very quickly, he immediately lowered his head and lowered the umbrella again.
He definitely didn't notice me... Feeling a little guilty, Yan Quan turned around and quickened his pace, walking against the crowd towards the back gate of the cemetery, trying to "escape the scene of the crime" as soon as possible.
But it was precisely because Yan Quan left too quickly that he missed the conversation between Yan Ceyan, who was also 13 years old at the time, and his father.
“Father. I think I can smell it.” Yan Ceyan glanced at him, his usually cold and calm tone pausing slightly due to a rare word: “Omega… pheromones.”
Having been deliberately induced to develop "pheromone recognition disorder" since childhood, Yan Ceyan has never experienced the scent of pheromones in his world.
"What nonsense are you talking about..." A hint of panic flashed across the father's face, which instantly turned ashen and stern.
"I think you're almost at puberty, and your mind is wandering, thinking all sorts of nonsense."
"When you get to high school, you'd better go to an Alpha boys' school!"
...
Despite having only met him once, the image of the Yan family Alpha lingered in Yan Quan's mind.
Yan Quan attributed this to his own "holding grudges".
Although, "Young Master Yan" did nothing.
Although Yan Quan only got his trouser legs wet.
Although, this was just an unexpected consequence of the rain.
Putting aside these "although"...
In short, Yan Quan was vengeful.
So, when the homeroom teacher led Yan Quan through the corridor and arrived at the door of the new classroom...
Yan Quan pretended not to hear the homeroom teacher's instructions:
"After you finish your self-introduction, stand on the podium and don't move. I'll arrange a new seat for you."
"The last row of seats is Yan Ceyan's seat, although he doesn't usually come to school. But he's used to sitting alone."
There are only two families with the character "yan" in the capital.
Yan Quan knew perfectly well who the "yan" the homeroom teacher was referring to was.
So that alpha's name is "Yan Ceyan"...
At that moment, Yan Quan felt a sudden, inexplicable urge for revenge.
Therefore, Yan Quan deliberately sat in the empty seat in the last row, initiating this "one-sided" provocation.
"Drip, drip..." The sound of rain outside the window kept shaking the branches. Just as Yan Quan was sitting in the chair with his chin propped up, his patience was about to run out.
Finally, Yan Quan spotted a dark figure in the distance.
Draped in a hazy rain and mist, walking in the same way as at the funeral.
"Wow." Yan Quan narrowed his eyes instantly, his pupils glowing eerily, like a cunning fox in the jungle.
The fox finally got his "prey".
On this damp, gloomy, and rainy day, as "malicious" as Yan Quan's own heart, Yan Quan found himself in.
...
Originally, Yan Quan's plan was to occupy Yan Ceyan's seat to "annoy" Yan Ceyan, and then beat him up.
But as Yan Ceyan approached, Yan Quan's plan instantly vanished—because it was obvious to the naked eye that Yan Quan was no match for Yan Ceyan.
But soon, Yan Quan made a new discovery—Yan Ceyan liked him.
It's so obvious, he likes someone.
Their eyes were sparkling.
Yan Quan has dated so many exes, it's easy to tell at a glance.
So Yan Quan had a new "plan"—to fall in love, make Yan Ceyan like her more and more, and then "dump" Yan Ceyan.
But later, things went further and further in directions that Yan Quan could not have predicted.
By the time Yan Quan realized he might have "gone too far," he was already standing downstairs at the hospital.
Yan Quan really couldn't understand Yan Ceyan's thought process—he had bipolar disorder, and contact with highly compatible omega hormones could easily kill him.
Why is Yan Ceyan still rushing over here? And... like a drowning dog, blocking the hospital entrance "begging to get back together".
Damn, is this guy an idiot?
Yan Quan thought to himself.
To be honest, although Yan Quan was "bad", he had no interest in "taking lives".
Yan Quan didn't want Yan Ceyan to die.
"Yan Ceyan, I don't want to see you again."
So Yan Quan said this.
But... why... why does it feel like something is squeezing and twisting my heart, causing a slight pain?
Yan Quan generally does not admit that he is "moved".
Therefore, Yan Quan called that feeling "regret".
...
It's just a pity.
So, in the late summer as her eighteenth birthday was drawing to a close, Yan Quan turned away "elegantly" and boarded a flight to Federation A.
There's nothing I'm reluctant to part with.
It's just a little bit of a regret.
During her first year in Federation A, wrapped in a thick trench coat and braving the biting California winds, Yan Quan kept telling herself this.
Until... Yan Quan discovered she was pregnant.
"Fu**k... That old man surnamed Yan tricked me. The abortion pills were fake."
Yan Quan gritted her teeth, staring at the two bright red lines on the pregnancy test. Enraged, she kicked a hole in the already dilapidated toilet seat.
"Damn it, what do we do..." In the cramped, cheap rental apartment, Yan Quan's trembling sigh echoed on the peeling ceiling: "Should we... abort the baby?"
*
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock... The clock on the hospital wall struck the hour precisely, and Yan Quan's long nightmare came to an abrupt end, like a glass window that had been overturned.
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