Vinegar Sea Explosion
In the criminal investigation team's office, Wen Lin sat with his legs crossed, his phone screen playing a loop of surveillance footage of Yu Yan pinning Fan Jinci against the wall and confessing his love.
"Tsk tsk, Captain Yu, your confession lines are more cheesy than an 8 PM soap opera—" he deliberately mimicked in a high-pitched voice, "'I've fucking liked you for three years!'"
Yu Yan snatched the phone and threw it out the window.
Wen Lin: "...I haven't backed it up yet!!!"
Jiang Zhaoyan peeked out from the pile of documents: "Prosecutor Wen, your cross-dressing video has surpassed five million views. The Provincial Party Committee's Propaganda Department wants you to film an anti-fraud propaganda video."
Wen Lin: "......"
Situ Jin silently handed over the tablet: "A netizen photoshopped a wedding picture of you and that hunk for you."
Wen Lin stormed out of the door.
In the trace evidence laboratory, Li Weimian was recording data under a microscope, a corner of a photograph peeking out of her white coat pocket—a candid shot of Fan Jinci during an autopsy, taken as if it were a work of art from a crime scene.
The door was suddenly kicked open.
Yu Yan slammed a stack of papers on the table with a cold expression: "Explain."
Li Weimian glanced at them—they were all photos of her "collection": the coffee cup, pen, and even the scalpel wrapping paper used by Fan Jinci were all neatly archived in boxes labeled "research subjects".
"Academic research." She said without changing her expression, "Brother Fan's behavior pattern is very valuable."
"Bullshit!" Yu Yan grabbed her collar, "You son of a bitch—"
The scalpel was suddenly pressed against the back of his neck.
"Let her go." Fan Jinci's voice was as cold as ice. "She wasn't lying."
Yu Yan turned around in disbelief: "You're taking her side?!"
Taking advantage of the opportunity, Li Weimian broke free and pulled out a paper from the drawer: "Empathy Deficiency and Professional Compensation in High-Functional Antisocial Personality: A Ten-Year Follow-up Study Based on Forensic Pathologists with the Surname F".
"Look closely, Captain," she sneered. "My interest in him is different from your low-level possessiveness."
Yu Yan's rationality completely collapsed.
canteen.
Wen Lin (suddenly sitting down next to Fan Jinci): "Brother Fan, actually I've had a crush on you for a long time—"
Yu Yan (slamming his plate): "Aren't you fucking straight?!"
Wen Lin (takes out his phone and plays Yu Yan's confession video): "But Fan-ge rejected you~ Now it's free competition~"
Jiang Zhaoyan (frantically pressing the forward button): "Sent to the entire hall."
Situ Jin (adjusting his glasses): "The technical department has already made it into a ringtone."
Li Weimian (suddenly pinning Fan Jinci against the wall): "Collaborate on a paper with me, name your terms."
Yu Yan (draws gun): "You all fucking die!!!"
Fan Jinci (pinning a scalpel to the wall): "Shut up."
(Everyone was as quiet as chickens)
A bar late at night.
Jiang Zhaoyan pressed the drunken Yu Yan down into the booth: "Brother, you need to use your brain to pursue Fan Ge. Your beastly confession won't work."
Yu Yan (pouring wine): "What do we do then?!"
Jiang Zhaoyan (mysteriously): "I've discovered Li Weimian's weakness—she's afraid of cockroaches."
Wen Lin (suddenly popping out from under the sofa): "I hired someone to throw a box into her office!"
The three high-fived.
the next day.
Li Weimian stood expressionless amidst a pile of crushed cockroach corpses: "Naive."
She turned on the projector and played the bar's surveillance footage from last night: "But thanks for the material—we have a new paper title: 'On the Atavism of Male Primate Courtship Behavior.'"
Wen Lin/Jiang Zhaoyan/Yu Yan: "......"
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