27/Jealousy
Shen Yu rarely took the initiative to inquire about Chen Mian's affairs.
People would always find out about him through various channels. Whether Chen Mian said it or not was not important. Just like when he learned about Chen Mian's family situation—a poor student who wore the same few school uniforms all year round and wore faded canvas shoes for PE class—it was just as Chen Yin said. If they hadn't been in the same school, they would have had no interaction at all.
That's just how reality is. Birth is a threshold. Some people are born at the finish line, while others try their best but still get stuck in the mire.
But Chen Mian was the most unique person Shen Yu had ever seen.
She never complained, nor did she show the embarrassment that other students from poor or ordinary families showed when facing them.
Chen Mian has always been open and honest, and she is not afraid to let others know about her family background. Her generosity comes from her very bones. She always wears a high ponytail at school and never turns her head when people talk about her. Her legs and back are always straight under her skirt. Although she is low-key in her behavior, Shen Yu still thinks that Chen Mian is arrogant.
What impressed me most was when the school organized a donation drive for impoverished students upon my first year of high school. A long row of boys and girls in school uniforms stood on the stage, most of them with their heads down. When the school leaders presented them with flowers, their voices were so soft that it sounded like they wanted to run away. They spoke the words "thank you" with pain. In the throes of adolescence when self-esteem was overflowing, it was tantamount to public execution.
Could the school not know that it was damaging to their self-esteem? Of course they did. But with cameras flashing in the audience, reporters and media from Suibei City captured the school's act of kindness, and the students' silence and bowed heads were recorded as expressions of being moved.
Shen Yu was standing at the back of the line, feeling annoyed by this kind of formalism, and openly played Sudoku on his phone.
As soon as the numbers appeared, a clear voice came from the microphone, "Thank you, teachers and students."
Yes, it was just that simple sentence, which had been uttered countless times by those people before.
But Shen Yu looked up and, amidst the murmurs of admiration around him, saw Chen Mian.
Like a swan in distress, she fell into the Ugly Duckling's nest.
Then, Shen Yu thought of the Cinderella fairy tale he had read in his childhood.
Unfortunately, he wasn't the prince charming in fairy tales who rescued people from dire straits without asking for anything in return.
He had ulterior motives; he wanted Chen Mian to love him, and even more so, he wanted Chen Mian to be unable to leave him.
The elevator mirror reflected the two silent figures, one tall and one short, their school uniforms blue like the sky.
Chen Mian suddenly broke the silence, taking the initiative to tell Shen Yu, "She is my mother."
Shen Yu nodded. "I know."
Chen Mian reminded him, "You told my mom you wanted to be my dad."
"..."
Shen Yu looked at her coldly, his eyes conveying only three words: Shut up?
Chen Mian insisted on making things clear and explicit, and said to him slowly, "What's the difference between this and confessing to someone face-to-face?"
Shen Yu warned in a low voice, "Chen Mian."
The elevator dinged as it arrived at its floor.
Chen Mian followed Shen Yu, giving him a slap followed by a sweet treat, and before Shen Yu could respond, she comforted him, "Fortunately, she doesn't treat me like her mother."
As Chen Mian was opening the door, he heard her say this, turned around, lifted her chin, and looked at her face.
She had no expression, her almond-shaped eyes remained clear, showing no sign of tears, and even tilted her head slightly to look at him with a hint of curiosity.
It's nothing, I just deliberately provoked him.
He chuckled, unusually serious, "Chen Mian, having a child is quite simple. It's just the product of sex. After ten months of pregnancy, a new life is born. Of course, it's painful, but not everyone has children for the sake of the child. The factors are too complex, such as maintaining a marriage, social pressure, or simply to make themselves look like they belong. They may not have loved you much when they had you. The idea that blood ties and family bonds are inseparable doesn't apply to you, so you don't need to use normal moral standards to demand that others suffer for you."
Shen Yu opened the refrigerator, took out a can of Coke, hooked his index finger on the pull tab, and the veins on the back of his hand were faintly visible. With a snap, the metal ring broke, and bubbles rushed out. He didn't look down to look, but threw it straight into the trash can in the corner. The cold can melted and water droplets rolled down his fingers as he held it in his warm hand.
He paused for a moment, took a sip of iced cola, and continued, "Have you ever watched Animal World? Even a docile and harmless animal like a rabbit will not hesitate to eat its own offspring when its survival is threatened. Do you think your mother is any better than a rabbit?"
The words weren't very pleasant to hear, and were even a bit too blunt.
Someone else might have gently said, "Don't be sad. It's not that your mother doesn't love you; it's just that you haven't seen her for a long time. She must care about you too."
Under the traditional mindset that procreation is paramount, no matter what kind of parents they are, filial piety should be upheld to the end.
To be honest, Chen Mian thought this was no different from erecting a moral high ground; in her view, karma and retribution were the only correct things to do.
She reached out and touched the can of cola Shen Yu was holding, asking him, "Would you eat your own child too?"
Chen Mian had a lot of questions today, like she had eaten a hundred thousand whys.
One after another, they all sounded quite provocative.
But Shen Yu answered quite seriously, saying, "No need, I don't plan to have children."
I didn't think that two high school students discussing this topic seemed like they were pretending to be mature. The seriousness in their tone would have made anyone else laugh. After all, having children is a topic that is too far removed from their current situation, and their promises and certainties seem unrealistic. Probably no one but himself would take it seriously.
Chen Mian certainly thought so too. Her childhood was filled with the constant pressure to get married and have children emanating from the apartment buildings. The gossip of the elderly downstairs, who would sit fanning themselves with palm-leaf fans, was also confined to this space. It was as if getting married and having children were the most important things in life. Even though their own lives weren't that great, they set up such rules to judge whether other people's lives were complete. And then, through word of mouth, it became the correct standard, and no one could overturn it. The lower a person was, the more they could not escape the shackles of worldly conventions.
Shen Yu belongs to another category with infinite possibilities. He doesn't need blessings for a bright future; he is already bright. His wealthy family background brings infinite possibilities and room for trial and error. Becoming a good student is just one of his choices. Of course, he can also follow the path of hedonism like You Huai and others, and the door he finally pushes open will still be full of brilliance.
Therefore, when Shen Yu said he had no intention of having children, Chen Mian found it amusing.
He didn't refute, but simply nodded, and gently turned the page.
Then she heard Shen Yu say to her, "My personality is terrible, and yours is pretty bad too. It's really unnecessary to affect a third person."
"..."
All the heavy thoughts in her mind vanished. Chen Mian kicked Shen Yu and muttered, "Shen Yu, you're sick."
Shen Yu laughed so hard his shoulders were shaking, and he leaned against the shoe cabinet in the entryway like he had no bones.
With his elbows propped up on his head, he said in a nonsensical tone, "Why are you blushing when it's just a joke?"
"You have ulterior motives, Chen Mian."
Chen Mian turned to leave, but he grabbed her wrist.
She heard the boy's voice still tinged with laughter as he coaxed her, "Okay, Chen Mian, I have ulterior motives."
The entryway light was on, casting long, warm yellow shadows of the two people.
At this moment, Chen Mian thought uncomfortably that since moving here, her life had become normal, as if she were just an ordinary senior high school student, and the boy standing in front of her was just a male classmate with whom she had an ambiguous relationship.
When he called her name, the name Chen Mian was imbued with a special meaning.
It seems so.
The Oracle of the Sinking Realm.
*
I went to school the next day.
The essay competition results were in, and the third-place winner performed as expected. The teacher handed out the third-place certificate just as morning self-study was starting, most of the students were still asleep. Summer was approaching, and the cicadas chirped occasionally in the treetops. The applause was sparse, and the crackling sound was like cheap firecrackers.
The award certificate was buried at the bottom of the pile of books. Zhao Lili, feeling sleepy, made two packets of coffee, propped her chin up with a ballpoint pen, and asked Chen Mian, "Which period was the test today?"
Chen Mian glanced at the timetable posted on the table. "Except for politics, everything else will be on the exam."
Zhao Lili wailed, "Why don't you just kill me? Which class has exams that last all day?"
Liu Junjie had just returned with hot water when he heard this and casually remarked, "The science class has had two exams in a row."
"Absolutely amazing."
"The science experimental class is even more amazing. Guess what they're doing during morning self-study?"
"what?"
"A math quiz. I just passed by over there, and the sound of writing inside was even more precise than printing; it was incredibly neat." As he spoke, Liu Junjie glanced to the side and asked with the utmost nonchalance, "Where did that person go?"
Zhao Lili: "He ran away as soon as the bell rang. I guess he went to the music class to find Chen Yin."
No sooner had he finished speaking than he heard someone shouting outside.
"They've started fighting! They've started fighting!"
"Lin Lin and Qiao Zhiwan got into a fight!"
Zhao Lili exclaimed "Holy crap!" and quickly asked, "What's going on? What are Lin Lin and Qiao Zhiwan arguing about?"
That person was Wen San's loudspeaker, even more dedicated than a storyteller. "It wasn't Lin Lin who fought with Qiao Zhiwan. To be precise, Qiao Zhiwan went to Lishi to find someone, and was seen by Chen Yin and Lin Lin. Lin Lin made a sarcastic remark, which was overheard by Qiao Zhiwan's friend. The two started arguing and then started fighting. Even the teachers went over. Lin Lin is in big trouble this time."
That person was clearly referring to Shenyu.
Chen Mian propped her chin up and looked out the window, just in time to see a boy in a school uniform walking past the window. He looked aloof and somewhat irritated, his school uniform jacket pulled up to the top, with Chen Yin following closely behind, talking to him.
Zhao Lili pointed at the two figures and sighed, "Those people are really something, living like they're in an idol drama. Unlike us poor high school seniors who can only do our homework and take exams, we can't compare to the rich and colorful lives of these young masters and ladies. Hey, Chen Mian, where are you going?"
Chen Mian, holding a water glass, said to Zhao Lili, "Wash this glass."
The bell is about to ring for the first class this morning.
Chen Mian went to the teachers' office across the street. As she passed the door, she saw Qiao Zhiwan, Chen Yin, Shen Yu, Lin Lin, and an unfamiliar face standing inside. Shen Yu was standing near the door, looking displeased and extremely annoyed.
Inside, the class monitor kept lecturing on grand principles, not letting anyone off the hook, occasionally interjecting with a warning against early romantic relationships, but everyone's eyes were fixed on Chen Yu.
Clearly, she was somewhat dissatisfied with him, the male protagonist in the scandal, but didn't want to name him directly.
Shen Yu was annoyed by what he heard and was about to make up an excuse to leave when he saw Chen Mian at the door.
Holding her water glass, she looked up at him, then looked away, gliding like a fish to Qiao Zhiwan and Chen Yin inside, before finally settling back on him.
He didn't say anything, but there was a hint of provocation in his eyes.
It was so fast it felt like an illusion, and I quickly looked away, grabbed my water bottle, and headed to the restroom while the prefect was reciting school rules.
/
As an aside: Although this is the title, it's certainly not because Chen Mian is jealous; she wouldn't be.
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