43/Spring Breeze
After the major event of Shen Yu's birthday, life returned to normal.
Exams, lectures, and revision—school life revolves almost entirely around these three things.
Lin Lin seemed to have been frightened by Shen Yu that night. After that, she always avoided Chen Mian's gaze when she saw him at school. She took the initiative to ask the teacher to change her seat and moved to another group, where she switched seats with a girl who happened to want to move to the front row.
Zhao Lili found it strange and asked Chen Mian if Lin Lin had finally grown up because graduation was approaching.
Chen Mian turned her head and saw Chen Ke standing next to Lin Lin in the back row, talking to her. His hand was on Lin Lin's shoulder, in a comforting gesture. Noticing Chen Mian's gaze, he looked up, and their eyes met in mid-air.
Then Chen Mian coldly withdrew her composure, gave a slight smirk, held a red pen in her hand, ticked the answer on the test paper, and replied to Zhao Lili with a "maybe".
Chen Mian knew that bumping into Chen Song at the KTV was not a coincidence. After Song Ai found out, she also contacted Chen Mian. She was probably the person who cared the most about the college entrance examination besides Chen Mian. She asked Chen Mian if Chen Song had ever looked for her again. Chen Mian said no, she had never seen Chen Song again.
Song Ai mumbled something on the other end of the phone and finally arranged to meet Chen Mian that evening.
This was the first time Chen Mian had met Song Ai since leaving home; they arranged to meet at a coffee shop near the school.
When Chen Mian arrived, Song Ai was adding sugar to her coffee. It had been a long time since they last met. The woman who always wore heavy makeup and went for a sexy look had changed her style. She was wearing a plain, simple dress that looked like nothing special, with her arms not even showing. While everyone else was wearing shorts, her sleeves were above her wrists, and instead of a scarf, she was wearing a very thin gold necklace.
He wasn't wearing makeup, not even lipstick; his slender eyebrows were light, but when he looked at her, he revealed a familiar smile.
"Long time no see, little—" The last two words stopped abruptly.
But both of them knew what they were talking about: the countless times in that cramped room, after each beating, Song Ai would call her "little beast" as if venting her anger.
The two survivors of the violence seemed to shed their identities as soon as they stepped out of that room.
This realization made Song Ai burst into laughter. She chose a window seat, rested her head on it, and circled her hands around the space as if drawing circles. She said to Chen Mian, "Look, when we sit here, don't we look a lot like everyone else? It's like I really am your mother."
Chen Mian did not respond to the hypothetical topic. After ordering a milk tea, she returned the menu to the waiter.
Through the window, a Maybach was parked across the street, its rear window rolled down, revealing the profile of the person inside.
Song Ai recognized Shen Yu at a glance. Although she hadn't met Shen Yu many times, the first time they met, Shen Yu was only sixteen years old. In the eyes of these adults, he was just a little kid. At that time, she was working as a hostess. The owner of the bathhouse next door came in and asked for her services. She had nothing and was in debt. All she had was youth and beauty.
Although she was a bit more mature than her peers, she was still afraid when she saw that bald, fat man who looked intimidating. Her colleague told her after he left that the boss had abused many girls before and was quite perverted, and advised her to find a way to run away if possible.
Song Ai had no way to run away. Fate told her to accept it. However, the miracle that always seemed to elude her appeared at that moment. A boy in a school uniform walked up to her and asked, "Can you help me?"
She nodded and married Chen Song, only to discover that it wasn't a miracle at all, but an exchange.
One misfortune leads to another, the only difference being that the latter is slightly easier to endure.
The moment she saw Chen Mian, she knew that she was the reason why Shen Yu had found her.
Two years later, when they met again, the boy was somewhat different from the one in their memory, but both he and his car were eye-catching, and young girls on the roadside would occasionally look in that direction.
Song Ai's smile faded, and she looked away. She said to Chen Mian that Chen Song hadn't been home for a long time and she didn't know where he had gone. She hadn't contacted anyone. She had thought that Chen Song had gone to look for Chen Mian, since Chen Song was penniless and had no money. If he was out of money, he could only find someone like her or Chen Mian. Where else could he have gone?
There was no answer.
Upon hearing this, Chen Mian thought of Ruan Yanmei, but did not mention her name to Song Ai. She only said to her, "Isn't it a good thing that he's not here?"
"What kind of good thing is this? It's only good when people are dead. Who knows what trouble they might cause while they're alive? Alright, that's all I wanted to talk to you about. I also wanted to check on your current situation. And another thing, which university are you planning to attend?"
Just then, the waiter brought over the milk tea. The cup was scalding hot. Chen Mian touched it with her fingertips and answered vaguely, "I haven't decided yet."
Song Ai laughed, "There has to be a general direction, a city, a location, a goal, right?"
Chen Mian lowered her eyes and stirred her milk tea, not giving a specific answer, but unusually reassuring, assuring Song Ai, "I won't run away."
That concludes the discussion.
Chen Mian and Song Ai usually didn't have much to talk about, but after Chen and Song finished talking about their university days, they both fell silent.
She only took two sips of the milk tea and didn't touch it again. Song Ai called the waiter to pack it up, and as she was about to leave, she said to Chen Mian, "I've gotten together with the owner of your dad's mahjong parlor. He bought this chain for me. Whether Chen Song comes home or not doesn't really affect me much. He's a coward and only dares to mess with people weaker than him. So Chen Mian, have you ever thought about why Chen Song hasn't appeared in front of you again?"
She glanced out the window, her gaze answering the question posed.
"I originally wanted to tell you to stay on the high branch and not fall down, to please him and make him happy, and ideally, to go to the same university as him and become a rich young lady, so that he would continue to like you so much, and I, as his stepmother, would also rise in status and at least not be poor for the rest of my life. But, honestly, I really think men are extremely boring."
She stood in front of Chen Mian, her body blocking the light from the window.
Her words were casual and nonchalant, yet they drew constant glances from the men sitting around her.
Amidst various gazes, she smiled and finished speaking with Chen Mian.
"If you had a choice, who would want to rely on a man? He's good in bed, speaks sweetly and makes you happy, and ideally, he's always young, beautiful and youthful. He's always comparing himself to this woman and being wary of that woman. Women are all enemies, while women are precious treasures that he's afraid someone will steal. Who the hell is really stupid enough not to know that this kind of behavior is extremely stupid? But we don't have a choice."
"So fly, Chen Mian, cut the string, don't become a kite in a man's hand, go wherever you want to go, and become who you want to be."
Chen Mian never imagined that Song Ai would say such a thing to her.
Everyone told Chen Mian that she should respond to Shen Yu.
His approach was as if it were a sign of pity, or the jackpot in the lottery.
Without exception, all the comments about their relationship consisted of sentences like, "If it weren't for Shen Yu, how could Chen Mian have..."
Chen Mian never refuted it.
But she never thought that way in her heart. Call her cold-blooded or heartless if you will.
But from beginning to end, Chen Mian thought that this was all Shen Yu's own choice. This seemingly unequal relationship was a mutually agreeable transaction that Shen Yu himself had brought up.
A transaction is essentially placing something that satisfies the other party on either side of a scale as a bargaining chip.
She would have to be emotionless, always indifferent, and maintain a detached calm to be the most shrewd businesswoman possible in order to barely keep the deal balanced.
Shen Yu had plenty of chips, but she had very few.
Only this heart is precious; it's her last trump card.
She wasn't unaware of the true feelings hidden in the teenagers' jokes.
How could she dare to talk about love with Shen Yu?
Once a transaction becomes a romance, the chips become the most commonplace and ubiquitous cliché of deep affection.
She didn't want to be the one who had no choice.
She became Shen Yu's appendage, without her own name, and was only mentioned as his girlfriend. Perhaps after some time, she would go from being Shen Yu's girlfriend to someone Shen Yu used to be.
After all, love is the most unpredictable variable.
The coffee shop was playing Cantonese songs that were touching love songs, and the tables behind were occupied by couples in school uniforms talking about love.
Chen Mian sat there, the table empty, a tissue clutched in her hand, mechanically wiping the milk tea stains that had fallen onto her trouser leg.
My phone rang in my pocket.
She took it out; it was a message from Shen Yu.
He asked her.
What are you thinking about?
The phone rang, and Chen Mian answered it, hearing Shen Yu call her name on the other end.
Tell her, "Look up."
Outside the window, the boy leaned against the car, waving his phone at her.
The spring day was warm and gentle, the sunlight pale in comparison to him, and all eyes were on him, but he looked at her.
Even through the microphone, her voice carried a smile, and the music in my ears sang, "Will you entwine me, kiss me, and let the spring breeze blow upon me?"
Shen Yu chuckled softly on the other end of the phone, as if sending a kiss through the receiver instead of a spring breeze.
"Chen Mian, everyone's kissing in the spring breeze, what are you daydreaming about?"
"Come out, let's go home."
/
Will you hold me close, kiss me, and let the spring breeze caress me?
———Weilan/Yigege
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