73/Want to See You
Chen Mian never imagined that someone would go to such lengths for her.
She was never anyone's first choice, nor was she the one who was firmly loved.
Being abandoned and left behind all along made her constantly tell herself that love wasn't that important.
But now, that window full of flowers caused her emotions to collapse instantly.
The phone, which I was clutching tightly in my hand, suddenly rang.
Zhao Lili sent her a WeChat message.
[Mianmian! Liu Junjie confessed to me! He said he likes me and asked what I thought! Hahahaha, what could I think? I'm absolutely ecstatic! But could I say yes so quickly?!]
I said let me think about it!
【Ahhhhh I'm so happy right now, help! It feels like winning the lottery!】
【I'll show you my chat history with him!】
[Forwarding chat history]
In addition, there are messages from other people in the message bar.
Deng Momo asked her if she had arrived home yet and where she was now.
Su Wangqiu sent her a few funny videos he had seen.
Yu Yu posted a lecture video on Bilibili.
The class group and dormitory group messages were constantly flowing.
Every chat box was bustling with activity, except for the person whose contact name was "oracle," who remained quiet and didn't send a single message.
She had many messages waiting for her reply, but she remained stuck on Shen Yu's chat box.
Her finger hovered over the plus sign, staring at the video call icon. After a long while, she finally mustered the courage to press it.
The call interface appeared immediately.
Music came through the loudspeaker, a female voice singing a song about the joyful evenings that books often describe, and the screen displayed the song title as "Slowly Falling in Love with You."
Chen Mian was taken aback.
No one answered the phone.
After hanging up the phone, her fingers trembled as she scrolled through her contacts, finding the only mutual friend she shared with Shen Yu—a male high school classmate she had almost never spoken to.
Chen Mian: [Are you there?]
They seemed a little surprised and replied almost instantly.
Luo Wei: [Huh? What's wrong? Is there something you need?]
Chen Mian: [Could you please make a WeChat call to Chen Yu?]
Luo Wei: [Huh?]
What kind of fun are they having now?
Luo Wei was somewhat bewildered, but he still made a phone call.
Luo Wei: [Brother Chen didn't answer. Is there something you need him for? I have his phone number, can I send it to you?]
She had his phone number, and all she wanted to ask was—
Does his call screen display songs?
Luo Wei: [No, what song?]
Almost no confirmation was needed.
But for some reason, they still went to great lengths to verify it.
The result was simply to tell her again.
Indeed, all the special features of the Sinking Domain are only visible to her.
She leaned against the tree, biting her upper lip, trying to calm her breathing, but her chest was still heaving violently.
Open your phone's contacts and find the number you've almost never dialed.
He said he would call him if he wanted to see him.
She desperately wants to see him right now.
However, when she dialed the number, it was busy for a long time until a mechanical female voice told her to try again later.
*
Shen Yu got off the plane at 10 p.m.
As soon as he stepped out of the airport, the driver was waiting at the door. He took his luggage and told him that the weather in Suibei was warmer than that in Beijing, and asked if he wanted some water.
Shen Yu sat wearily in the car, took out his phone (which had run out of battery and shut down) from his pocket, asked the driver for a charging cable, plugged it in, and waited for about ten seconds before the screen lit up.
As soon as I turned on 5G, messages started popping up non-stop like a bombardment.
—Beep beep beep.
—Beep beep beep.
—Beep beep beep.
The notification sound kept going on and on. The driver chuckled and joked, "Your father's just as busy."
Shen Yu just chuckled softly. The long flight had left him a little tired, so he didn't open the message immediately. Instead, he turned on the mute button, leaned back in his seat, closed his eyes, and rested for a while. The driver wisely kept quiet and didn't bother him anymore.
About ten minutes later.
I finally checked my phone, which kept vibrating.
He froze as soon as he opened WeChat.
The only message bar that was always grayed out and almost never lit up with a red icon displayed 3.
"Chen Yu, you're a liar. You said you'd call me if you wanted to see me, but I can't get through. Nobody answers. I've thought about what to say to you for so long, cutting and rewriting, but I still don't know where to begin. Lily told me to try to be more honest, but I won't. I don't know how to be honest. Some things I feel like saying are like completely opening my protective shell. I'm always, always afraid of getting hurt. I'm constantly wavering and feeling lost. I doubt anyone else would be as conflicted and awkward as me. You used to tell me that if I wanted something, I could just tell you. As long as I was a little gentler and a little coquettish, you would agree. But Chen Yu, I don't know how to be coquettish. I don't know how to tell others what I want. Nobody taught me, not even you. I called you, I called you on WeChat, I called you by phone. I heard the song you set for me. I saw the flowers you planted on my windowsill. What else? Why are you always like this? You always do so much but say nothing, waiting for me to discover it myself. Why do you always have to be like this? It always makes me feel like I've completely become a bad person."
Back then, you gave me all the initiative, saying you'd stand behind me and support me no matter what I did. But Chen Yu, I had no idea what you wanted, or what else could attract you besides being with you. So I kept thinking about achieving greater success, standing at the top of the industry, becoming a powerful woman, so that even if we separated, I wouldn't completely lose my confidence in life.
You asked me if I liked you, and told me to like you, but Shen Yu, you never said that. You never said you liked me or loved me. So I thought you were no different from others. Liking and being attracted to someone are common. I wouldn't be your exception, and I wouldn't be anything special.
When we graduated from high school, we were setting off fireworks at the beach. I told you I hoped you would be happy every day. I meant it. But it seems that all your unhappiness and disappointment come from me. If it weren't for me, if it weren't for me, you would have always been dazzling and unattainable. You wouldn't even know that there is someone like Chen Mian in the world.
Many people told me in high school that we weren't a good match, that we weren't compatible. At the time, I didn't care. I knew better than anyone that it wasn't true, so I never had any illusions.
I should have remained rational, clear-headed, indifferent, and never believed that favoritism and exclusive affection would happen to me.
During the debate, I was on the opposing side, arguing that love is something that is learned. I lost unsurprisingly because I believe that people who are not born with love find it very difficult to develop it later in life. I can't see the shape of love, I can't sketch out its appearance, so how can I learn it or acquire it?
I have long been pessimistic about love.
But unfortunately, you seem to be the only exception to my pessimism.
"So I'm telling you now, I want to see you."
/
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