"If I had to choose to forget a memory, I would want to forget the day I met him in the Imperial Garden."
——Shi Qingmiao
***
How should I describe it to her?
"Shi Shi, if Si Shuo was just an ordinary person, not the regent of Simu Kingdom, would you be willing to be with him?" Jin Suting made an assumption. Since Shi Qingmiao had a good impression of Si Shuo, the reasons that made her feel wronged and cry might be concerns about the disparity in their status.
Shi Qingmiao had never thought about this problem. These days, she regarded Si Shuo as a friend, a friend who shared the same values as her, was interesting and humorous.
It was Si Shuo's "joke" and sudden disappearance yesterday, as well as his confession this morning that made her realize all of a sudden that Si Shuo was the regent, the regent of the Simu Kingdom.
She can't like him no matter who she likes, and she can't be with him no matter who she likes.
But what if Si Shuo wasn't the regent? What if he was just a simple commoner, an ordinary person?
"I have no idea."
Shi Qingmiao is not good at making assumptions because she has no certainty about things that have not happened and are not true.
Jin Suting, who had been waiting for the answer with great anxiety, suddenly became discouraged and pursed her lips.
She is still not qualified to save the girl with relationship problems.
But she didn't want to let it go. After all, Shi Qingmiao came to her and told her all this, which fully demonstrated her trust in her. If she wanted to help, she had to help her to the end! So she made another hypothesis, "What if the Queen Mother agreed to you being together? Would you be willing?"
What Jin Suting had to do was to remove all the concerns about etiquette, rules, identity, and status disparity for Shi Qingmiao.
Shi Qingmiao is still only a fifteen-year-old girl, and she is still confused about feelings.
"But the Queen Mother will not agree to my going to Simu Kingdom. This is impossible."
But she remained extremely clear-headed about this matter. She could not make any assumptions about the future, but not being able to leave Fuding was an idea that had been instilled in her since she was born.
"Why?" In Jin Suting's opinion, even if Shi Qingmiao was Helan Ruizhe's sister and was loved by the Queen Mother like a granddaughter, she was still a maid in the palace.
Shi Qingmiao spoke as if she was an appendage of the palace and could never leave.
"Because I have to wait here for my mother to come back." Shi Qingmiao truly regarded Jin Suting as her sister-in-law and was willing to tell her these words. This was no longer a secret to the Helan family.
"Your mother?" Jin Suting was suddenly confused for a moment. She had a feeling that there were still many things she didn't know.
Shi Qingmiao began to tell the story, "My mother's name is Shi Ruwan. She's not from the current Shi family, but the fourth daughter of the Shi family that originally took in the Queen Mother."
Jin Suting was stunned again. There are two more Shi families?
The surprise that Fuding Kingdom gave her was not only that it was a fictitious dynasty, but also that its family was so numerous and unpredictable. So how many more surprises were waiting for her?
Shi Qingmiao continued, "The Shi family has been kind to the Queen Mother, so they've always been favored. I don't know how to put it..." She suddenly sighed, her tone becoming heavy. "Well, after the Queen Mother ascended the throne, she gave birth to the former Crown Prince. He was six years younger than my mother, but we had a very close relationship, more than just siblings. Even after the Crown Princess was born, he stayed with my mother."
Jin Suting had turned into a human exclamation mark. She had vaguely guessed something, but she just couldn't say it out loud.
"so……"
"So the former crown prince of Helan County is my father."
"But why..." Jin Suting still couldn't say it, "But why do you want to stay with the Queen Mother as a maid?" Such words were too hurtful.
"Because my mother is six years older than him, I am his sister. This kind of relationship would be reviled. The biggest reason why the Queen Mother has always been unwilling to acknowledge me is this."
"Before my mother realized she was pregnant with me, Helan County had another woman in a brothel. My mother left Funing City in a rage, but unexpectedly discovered she was pregnant. To protect me, the Queen Mother changed my age. In fact, I should be sixteen this year."
"My mother left Funing City after giving birth to me. I don't know where she went, but she said she would come back."
Shi Qingmiao sounded relieved when she said this. As a member of the Helan family who had never been recognized, she was probably also looking forward to the day when her identity could be revealed to the public.
Jin Suting's colleagues who wanted to curse the former crown prince as a scumbag could not understand why a child born to a brothel girl could become a palace maid openly, while a child born to a mother who was six years older than the father would be despised and had to stay in the palace as a palace maid?
Perhaps if Shi Qingmiao's identity had not been concealed, she would not have so many concerns.
"This is why I can't leave Funing City. I have to wait for her to come back." Shi Qingmiao said calmly, as if she had repeated this sentence in her heart many times, "I have to wait for her to come back." She had never seen her mother since she was born, and when she grew up, she was taken directly into the palace.
It is really a sad thing to be unable to control the progress and direction of your life.
"What if she never comes back? Will you stay in Funing City for the rest of your life? Can't you marry someone you love? Will you not be able to have your own life?" Although it is not nice to say this and it hurts people's feelings, there is no such assumption. More than ten years have passed, and the person who made her leave Funing City has long passed away. No matter what the reason is, Shi Ruwan should come back.
"Everything is fine in Funing City. I've been quite happy these years." There was still a bit of chestnut cake on the corner of Shi Qingmiao's mouth, and the arc of her raised mouth just happened to wipe off the crumbs.
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