Chapter 187 Chapter 187 [VIP]
Megan needs someone to talk to her to cheer up, but when she was first grounded, only Bob came over at the designated time and he couldn't say a few words to her. But after Bain came, she was full of life.
Back in the living room, she had no energy to move. She just stayed there doing nothing and refused to wash up and go to bed. She listened to the sound of the TV and slowly stayed up late at night. She was aimless and had nothing to do, but she was not sleepy at all. Finally, she heard the report about the Joker again. Megan turned her head slowly and carefully recognized the host saying that the Joker had been arrested and detained back in Arkham Asylum.
The chaos he had caused had come to an end, and Megan felt a little sleepy. She turned off the TV, but she still didn't want to clean up or wash up, and she was even more lazy to go upstairs. Anyway, the temperature was not low in the summer, so she took off her shoes, hugged a pillow, and fell asleep on the sofa.
So, in the early morning hours, the clown opened the door to the two-story building and saw the house in a mess because the wind had blown in the middle of the night and the windows were wide open. He walked through the entrance, skillfully took off his hat and placed it on the coat rack, and leaned his cane to the side.
He walked past the eye-catching toy rack, picked up a doll that had fallen on the ground and put it back. He turned around and saw the child sleeping curled up on the sofa. She looked so much like the child she was when he first brought her home. She lacked a sense of security, so she was like a poor little mouse, wishing she could hide herself and disappear from the world. But later she learned to lie flat to sleep, but now her problem has reappeared.
He also knew that the child hadn't been eating or resting properly in the past few days, and had even stopped taking her medication. Who did she think she could punish for this? But his previous teachings had worked on her: to achieve the goal by any means necessary. So when she stopped taking her medication and her condition began to deteriorate, to prevent her condition from returning to the same state as before and thus wasting all her efforts, he had to come back to take a look before making a decision.
Under the light, the clown stared at her deeply. He walked to her side and saw that Megan looked uneasy in her sleep. Her eyeballs kept moving under her eyelids. He didn't know what she was dreaming about. Sometimes her limbs would suddenly move restlessly, as if she was about to wake up. At that time, her breathing was weak and almost inaudible in the howling wind outside the house.
The wind blowing through the hall blew the clown's bow tie on his chest, and his leather-gloved hand was on the side of Megan's neck. Perhaps a slight movement could end this trouble that made him entangled and embarrassed. He had to be more decisive in discarding the useless burden in order to move forward, to verify his criminal path, and continue these meaningless crazy actions.
Many malicious and cruel thoughts swirled in his mind, but he remained bent over. Finally, he gently stroked the child's face with his hand. His brows were calm, unlike a clown or a comedian who loved to laugh exaggeratedly. He said softly, "I can't get nothing, right? This doesn't conform to my usual philosophy."
He has invested too much in this child, but has hardly recovered or gained anything. This is undoubtedly a huge sunk cost. If it is placed in the stock market, it is like a stock that is advertised as having huge potential and can taste sweetness from time to time. Later, you choose to invest in it regularly, but you don’t know when it will completely lose money and you can’t sell it. She trapped the clown, making him always entangled and unable to give up.
The clown stood up and went to close the window, pulling the curtains. Then he sat next to Megan, not in a hurry to wake her up and announce the final judgment on her.
…
Megan slept soundly but not very peacefully. She seemed to wake up several times and felt something poking her side, but she did not open her eyes and fell asleep again. When she woke up, the light in front of her eyes was dim and she thought she had slept until the afternoon. However, when she looked more carefully, she found that all the lights in the house were turned off, and even the curtains were drawn on several windows in the living room. Could it be that Bob would do such a thing?
Instinctively sensing something was wrong, she hurriedly sat up and turned around, seeing a dark figure sitting next to her. Megan would never mistake a clown and rushed towards him, "Dad!"
The child looked aggrieved and uneasy in her sleep, but now she was happy again. She leaned on the clown's arms, expressing her dependence to the fullest. She still didn't think she would be hurt, but she didn't pester the clown to force him to compromise or say something. The barrier between them was temporarily put aside by Megan, and now she was just happy to see him.
The clown placed his hand on her frail back and patted her, asking her to hold him less tightly. Seeing little effect, he gave up and said gently, "Now it's time for our heart-to-heart talk, right?"
"But why can't you see the truth of this society? Megan, you are a tamed lamb." His voice was calm and slow. He communicated with Megan with great patience and told her the biggest ideological difference between them.
Megan just woke up, and there was still a dull pain and dizziness in her head, but she didn't pay attention to it. After thinking for a long time, she still seemed to have lost her focus. She couldn't understand many big principles, and asked in a daze: "Then death and chaos are the truth?"
The clown said, "No, all the laws and morals in this society are whips used to turn you into lambs and then enslave the flock, but the shepherd who wields the whip does not care about you." He was talking about the truth about human society. Everything is for order, to better enslave the human group, for the so-called reproduction and development, and for the great "progress of mankind."
Humanity and human rights are all lies, he had seen through it all a long time ago, but the child he raised disappointed him. Based on the character she showed, she simply could not survive alone in such a society, and she would only be enslaved and hurt. She could not be a shepherd, let alone stand against everyone and start a rebellion. She would only be at the bottom of the humanistic society and the most docile lamb.
Megan was stunned for a long time. She was thinking about some strange things. What if the truth of human society is that a small number of shepherds enslave the majority of the flock? What if chaos and madness destroyed that order...
She said a little bewilderedly, "If everything turns out like Dad wants, no one will make custom suits anymore."
If we use the clown's logic, that is: he brings the truth to the world, so he needs ignorant people to serve as the objects of his performance and his audience, right? He also needs props and special guests. If the whole world is full of lunatics and criminals like him, then his fun will be much less.
Besides, the world cannot become what he wants it to be. It cannot be achieved by human power and requires something "extra".
Megan said something strange, something she herself might not have understood, but it made the Joker's mouth curl slightly. He understood the truth, but Megan's words suddenly surprised him. If she understood it, why didn't she want to follow the same path as him? But he could see Megan's reluctance...
She possesses a wealth of empathy, having been raised with care and love. Her entire mechanism and pursuit is driven by a desire to stop suffering. Yet, once she realizes she's safe, her empathy pulls her back. Does she want to help others? She even quarrels with him over it? She even stops taking her medication.
This child's heart is too soft and kind, which may be a good quality in the secular sense, but in his eyes it is a huge flaw, because the city of Gotham cannot tolerate "good-hearted people who are unable to protect themselves." Even if Wayne is taken as an example, there is another layer of protection behind Wayne, which is the confidence that makes Wayne dare to do good deeds and charity.
The clown pondered these things quietly, his expression unrecognizable, but Megan quickly climbed out of his arms and hugged his neck, imagining herself as a child again. Her fluffy black curly hair brushed against the clown's cheek, and she heard him say, "Daddy, I've grown up, a little bit."
She said this very carefully, because even if she grew up a little and had her own wishes, she still couldn't leave her father. She didn't want to lose her father more than her own wishes, but she always had her own reasons.
This world is terrifying. Megan has always known this. The fear of the outside world in her eyes has not completely faded. It is only because of the Joker's presence that she has gained a sufficient sense of security and courage. Everything she has now is given by the Joker...
“But this world is still scary.”
If the world never gets better, Megan will have to rely on pills to survive. Even this is just the crisis her mental state faces. Once she goes to the outside world without any protection, anything can tear her apart.
Megan will take the initiative to ask for what she wants. Now she has to know, if she chooses a different path from her father, will her father accept her?
"Dad, I will do what you did to me, and besides," said the little bear domineeringly, "I hope there is only one me in the world."
Megan wants to do the same thing as the Joker saved her, but she doesn't want there to be anyone like her in the world. She is not confirming her own uniqueness, but wants everyone else to no longer suffer the same pain as her.
This is an empty, big, and even ridiculous wish, but Megan's expression is serious. She opens her clear and bright eyes in the dim room. She is hoping for love - unchanging love. If she can get all of that, then her soul will be complete.
The child raised by the clown became spoiled. In addition to accepting the things and emotions he gave her, she also tirelessly and actively asked for them. However, this was not without signs. Just like when the clown noticed that she was trying to betray him, he did not stop and correct her in the first place. What was he thinking at that time?
What was he thinking at this time?
The Joker really wanted to see Megan's reaction after being rejected, but she hadn't taken her medicine for several days, and her mental state was precarious. Even when she talked to him, she had to endure somatic symptoms such as headaches. If he treated her more harshly, he knew what the result would be, and all his previous efforts would be in vain.
But he still didn't reply. He just put his arm around her and patted her. Then he heard her murmur, "Daddy, I have a headache."
A headache means that her illness has not been cured. The Joker uses drugs to maintain her mental state and let her open her eyes to see the world. Her self-awareness has begun to grow since then, but many of them have set bad examples; and once her medicine is stopped, the fear deep in Megan's soul overflows, she wants to hide herself, and the declining brain function will force her to return to her original state.
"Dad, the world is so scary." She burst into tears again.
The author has something to say:
If everything turned out like my dad wanted, no one would make custom suits anymore.
I really like what Megan said, a strange logic.
And if a child says to his parents, "The world is so scary," I think the parents will definitely think it's all the world's fault, right? (Looking up at the sky)
In this story, the Joker is evil and only treats Megan well. Megan doesn't encounter many accidents in the story, but there are always side descriptions of the overall bad environment in Gotham. If Gotham doesn't get better, if the Joker is still unscrupulous, this environment is not suitable for children to grow up in (contemplation)
Actually, I feel that the logic of the writing is still not smooth, but I tried my best.
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