Chapter 89 Chapter 89 “So why did he go out…
"So why did he go out?" Bai Tianming raised his eyebrows.
"I don't know," Isaac blinked and said innocently, "I've been dormant the whole time, so why would I care about so many things?"
"There must be something you know, right?" Bai Tianming looked at him and unconsciously began to act like a kindergarten teacher, very gentle and asking questions in a patient and persuasive manner.
"Yes," Isaac lowered his eyes, like a golden-haired man facing the wall after making a mistake, and whispered, "Jacob must know, but he's not here. He usually—"
Isaac thought for a moment, his face bewildered. "He's usually busy, but I don't know what he's busy with. They all have their own things to do, so they don't come here very often."
To avoid misunderstanding, he quickly waved his hand and explained, "But I don't need them to come. When I was a seed, I was dormant. Who would like to be disturbed while sleeping?"
Bai Tianming seemed lost in thought. Before he arrived, Isaac was resting, and after he arrived, Isaac woke up. Bai Tianming nodded and asked tentatively, "Did I wake you up?"
Isaac was stunned for a moment, then couldn't help laughing: "That doesn't count. I was going to wake up anyway."
The sunlight moved in from the window and shone on his face. He felt his eyes were dazzled by the sunlight, as if there was suddenly a mirror made of polished white crystal opposite him, reflecting his distorted shadow but not his face.
He was in a trance for a moment, his stiff smile gradually disappearing. Suddenly, he couldn't help crying. As he cried, he hugged Bai Tianming, wishing he could grow into a cage and trap him inside. He choked out and said, "The sunshine here is always good, very suitable for plant growth, but when you're not here, no matter what kind of sunshine it is, it's so hot that it's annoying."
When he was sleeping, he was not completely unconscious, so he created a dream for himself in his trance that seemed real and illusory.
Dreams and illusions are very similar, and he can't really tell them apart, but that doesn't matter.
Of course he knew it was fake, but he hoped it was real. If he couldn't get the real thing, getting a fake one was better than nothing.
I am better than them, he thought, because at least I can see the person I want to see in my dreams, but they can't. They can't sleep all day like me, and they can't spend year after year thinking about someone like me.
This might seem a bit pretentious, but he was just a plant that had been reduced to a seed. What did he have to care about? He didn't have to be a human, nor did he have to be an angel. He could be whatever he wanted. After all, he was just a plant.
Ordinary plants don't have brains, and mutated plants have a little bit, but not many. One like him can actually be said to be unique, because he was the last plant Bai Tianming took care of before he left.
Even if he really has no brains at all, he is unique. After all, Bai Tianming is also unique among the angels. Among the angels, he is like Bai Tianming's relic.
All the angels who saw him would think of Bai Tianming. Occasionally, when he looked at himself in the water, he would also think of Bai Tianming. It was as if he was really just a legacy of Bai Tianming, an object for people to remember him.
But he didn't like this, he didn't want to be just one thing.
He can recall Bai Tianming, and he can also remain motionless when others are looking at him and thinking of Bai Tianming, and let them see until they don't want to see anymore.
They would usually look at him and cry, and finally turn their heads away, covering their faces and running away.
His reaction to this was expressionless because he was not really sad and he didn't understand why these people were so sad, so someone told him that he couldn't do this.
He asked, what should I do then?
People around him told him that he should be sad.
He couldn't be sad, but he knew what it was like to be sad, so he pretended to be sad and started crying, and they stopped saying anything wrong to him.
Those who didn't have that much strength would walk slowly past him while crying. When passing by, they would deliberately turn their heads away and not look at him, as if just one look at him would make them unable to hold back their tears and they would immediately burst into tears and couldn't leave him at all.
Sometimes, he felt as if he was in a funeral that would never end. Everyone around him was a guest, a relative, or a passerby, but he was the only one who was different.
He is a cenotaph, but without clothes; he is a thin-skinned coffin, but without a corpse; he is a pitch-black spirit tablet, but without a name on it.
When people around him looked at him, they thought of Bai Tianming. When he looked at himself, he also thought of Bai Tianming. However, he was not Bai Tianming after all, and he would occasionally think of himself.
He asked the people around him, what should my name be? The people around him answered him, Bai Tianming gave you a name, your name is - Isaac.
He asked again, what does "Isaac" mean? They told him that Bai Tianming said that "Isaac" means joy, and Bai Tianming wanted him to be happy, so he gave him this name.
He didn't quite believe it, because sometimes he was so confused that he couldn't remember what Bai Tianming looked like, and naturally he couldn't remember what Bai Tianming said or did.
Logically speaking, he had been with Bai Tianming before, so he shouldn't forget everything. However, he just couldn't remember anything. Most of the time, he remembered it, but there were always times when he didn't. You couldn't blame him.
After all, Bai Tianming hasn't appeared for a long time.
He sometimes thought, if Bai Tianming never showed up, it wouldn’t matter if he just forgot about it, right?
But later he discovered that he actually had no chance to forget, because Bai Tianming did not appear in front of him, but Bai Tianming's shadow was in front of him day after day.
He could see Bai Tianming's shadow on almost every face he passed by. This didn't mean that he saw Bai Tianming's face on other people's faces, but rather—
Everyone would mention Bai Tianming to him.
The Bai Tianming they talked about was fragmented and could not be pieced together to form a complete person, but he was everywhere, sometimes doing this, sometimes doing that, and before finishing one thing, he would do another. It was not because Bai Tianming really did not finish it, but because they only knew that much, so they only said that much.
He didn't care whether they wanted to laugh or cry, nor did he care what they were thinking. At the beginning, his consciousness was very confused. He didn't know what to do, so he did nothing.
Others say he is wrong, so you guide him. Just do what others do, and you will never go wrong.
Later, he laughed when others laughed and cried when others cried.
There was no one around him. He was like an exhibition hall that had suddenly become empty. Even the lights dimmed, and shadows spread over him like sea water, soaking him in it. He couldn't even make a gurgling sound, and was just silent.
When you are a plant, there is nothing wrong with being silent, because all plants are silent. However, when you become a human, you cannot be silent, because someone always has to speak.
The name that everyone around him said the most to him was Bai Tianming, the thing they mentioned the most to him was Bai Tianming's affairs, the person they praised him the most was Bai Tianming, but the person they scolded him the most was also Bai Tianming.
When they curse, they are reluctant to use harsh words, as if they are afraid that someone will stand by and listen.
When they praised, they praised it to the utmost, using all the words in heaven and on earth. They wished they could pile up all the good things together and fill them up in a golden warehouse, so that when people come back, they can send them away and people will never leave here again.
But they knew that this was impossible because Bai Tianming was not here and was not the kind of person who would stay because of those things, and he knew it too.
He didn't know at first, but after a long time, he finally knew. When he didn't know, he wasn't sad, but when he knew, he started to feel sad.
He cried like those who cried in front of him, and laughed like those who laughed in front of him. He didn't know what expression he should put on because he was just a plant.
If he had always been just a plant, he would have had nothing to worry about, but he wasn't, so he became more and more upset until he cried out loud, and finally someone discovered that he seemed to be able to speak.
They taught him how to pronounce Bai Tianming's name, how to write down the experiences of getting along with Bai Tianming, and how to express his love and admiration for Bai Tianming bit by bit with words and language.
If he had that kind of thing.
He couldn't tell whether it existed or not, but it probably did. Even if it didn't, the people around him would say these words to him day after day, and if it didn't exist, it would become true.
Most of the time, he had nothing to do because the people around him didn't expect him to do anything. He was too bored. In order to pass the time, he wrote a lot of things related to Bai Tianming. As long as it was this kind of thing, there would always be someone who wanted it.
He originally planned to sell them for money, but later changed his mind and put the things back, pressing them into a box. It almost took up the entire room. It was of no use to him, and he didn't want to look at it, so he burned it. The flames were quite intense.
That day was just like today, with a bright sun. The sunlight was shining straight down, like needles piercing my eyes. It hurt so much that I couldn't open them, and I kept crying.
The wind blew in front of me, and the ashes of the burnt paper flew towards me, hitting my face. My face was covered with a layer of ashes, and my throat felt so sour and burning. I couldn't help coughing, gasping for breath, and almost fainted. I lowered my head, and my hair was covered with ashes, turning white little by little.
The flames were burning in front of me, and my face was a little painful. In a trance, I felt like I was burning in it too, and my head was plunged into it. My hair was burned off, my face was burned off, and my shadow was gone. There was nothing left, just a gust of wind blowing past, raising a little ash, and after a while, it fell down intact.
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