Chapter 72 Twenty-three Shotas

Scotland eventually found a total of four such diary papers on the desk. At the same time, judging from the dates, the facts were the same as Scotland's guess - these four diaries were probably written by his father in the four days before he was killed.

He prepared himself mentally and picked them up again.

[November 12

Tuesday

I met a very strange child.

When I went to the morning class, I didn't know why the child was standing at the window outside the teaching building and watching. During the lunch break, I was a little worried, so I went to take a look and found that he was still there.

Is this the child of a teacher? I thought so at the time, so out of concern, I approached and started a conversation with the child.

Unexpectedly, the child said that he was just passing by the school gate, and the security guard thought he was a late student and kindly pulled him in. (A line of words was added in red handwriting next to this: Is it time for Mr. Terada to get a new prescription for his glasses? Really, Xiaoshi's clothes don't look like they belong to our school.)

I immediately offered to take him home, but he shook his head and said in a very polite tone that someone would come to pick him up.

Originally, I should have gone to class after arriving here, so the most I could do was to send him to the security booth to wait for someone to pick him up. But inexplicably, at that time I felt that this child was really similar to Xiao Jing. After asking their ages, I found out that they were both seven years old. If they knew each other, they should be able to become good friends, right?

Well, anyway, I switched classes with Mr. Suzuki and waited with him for a long time under the flower bed at the door.

I thought it was not nice to always call him "you" so I asked him his name. How should I put it? It sounded like a name that only a large family would have.

(In the blank space here, a round little head is drawn with a black pen, and the eyes are two circles in red. Next to it is a small arrow pointing over. The note on the arrow is: 'Lovely little ten', and the next line says, 'Are there any more little one to little nine?')

Talk about 'strange' reviews.

Xiao Shi is a very smart child, with a good memory, and he likes to ask questions. He is very curious about everything around him. I always feel that he looks like one of those children I have seen before who has lived in a ward for a long time and sneaked out to see the world for the first time. Maybe it is my illusion, after all, Xiao Shi looks really healthy?

It was really embarrassing. At first, I was able to answer all of Xiaoshi's questions perfectly. But after a few hours, Xiaoshi almost stumped me. It turns out there are geniuses in the world! He is only seven years old.

What a pity! Why isn’t Xiaoshi a student in my class?

While we were chatting happily, a car that looked expensive was parked outside the school. Forgive me for not paying attention to the car model, but later I heard from Teacher Suzuki that such a car was expensive enough to buy a house. After Xiao Shi said goodbye to me and got on the car, I realized that it was the person who came to pick him up.

Are they traveling to Nagano from Tokyo? If I can see them again in the future, I will find a chance to talk to Xiao Shi's parents. 】

[November 13

Wednesday

This morning I deliberately chose the same time as yesterday to go to school. As expected, Xiao Shi had already arrived. He was sitting by the flower bed yesterday and greeted me.

Obviously, he is a very cute child with delicate appearance. It is strange. When I think about it carefully, it seems that I haven’t seen any change in Xiao Shi’s expression in the past two days. This child is too calm and mature.

Wow, we were both seven years old. Our little Jing was playing kick the can with his classmates on the school playground, while Xiao Shi was asking me a serious question about human philosophy by the flowerbed. Oh my god, I really couldn’t answer this question, and I embarrassed myself in front of Xiao Shi again. (A stick figure with cold sweat was drawn in the blank space)

Xiao Shi said yesterday that he would stay in Nagano until Friday night and asked me if he could continue to listen to me teaching the children from outside the window.

Ah, if I did that, wouldn't the children's self-confidence be affected? So I had to reject this proposal with regret, and then secretly asked the director for three days off today...Hahahaha, Xiao Shi's eyes were so cute at that time.

Children need to be more relaxed, otherwise adults will look like failures.

Afterwards, I took Xiaoshi out of the school. Outside the gate, he asked me why in a very serious tone. I was impulsive and said some strange and cool words. I don’t know if I scared him. I was really distressed.

"I will teach in this school for another ten, twenty, or even thirty years. I can watch my students grow into reliable adults. But, Xiao Shi will be leaving soon, right? I have also asked the children in the class, and they are all very generous and willing to lend me to Xiao Shi for these three days. From now on until Xiao Shi returns to Tokyo, I will be your teacher alone!"

"Three days may be a little short for you, but I do have a lot of things I want to teach you in these three days... So, Xiao Shi, can I be your teacher for three days?"

Thinking back, I probably said something like this… Oh, it’s embarrassing to say this on the second day after we met. Fortunately, although Xiao Shi was stunned for a long time, he finally agreed. Does this mean that Xiao Shi also likes my teaching as a teacher? (The blank space has a few slashes on the face of the matchstick man in red to represent shyness)

It's amazing, isn't it? We've only met twice in total, but I feel like I know that kid so well.

All day today, I took Xiao Shi to every corner of the city, and the more I talked with Xiao Shi, the more I felt that he was like a blank piece of paper, and I seemed to be able to paint all kinds of colors on it.

It's a terrifying feeling.

I always think that the color of the world in a person's eyes can only be discovered and seen by that person himself, and no one else has the qualification to paint on a blank sheet of paper.

I was just born a few decades earlier than these children. All I can do is to accompany them in finding their own colors, give them a hand as a teacher when they are about to lose themselves, and be the backup that will stand there for them whenever they look back.

I can't try to turn them into the good kids I want them to be.

Because of this, I just couldn't sit by and watch others paint on the blank sheet of paper that was Xiao Shi. I couldn't watch this gentle boy by nature become someone he didn't even recognize!

When we were leaving the aquarium in the afternoon and passed the stone bridge, someone there seemed to want to jump down. I was so scared that I quickly ran over to persuade him to come down, but in the end I was almost pulled down by him.

We finally got up together, but Xiao Shi, who had been standing far away, asked me why again.

I could see that Xiao Shi really didn't understand why I didn't let go when that person wanted to pull me to jump with him.

Because I can see it, I am even more angry! Children are like a mirror, reflecting the adults outside the mirror, and Xiao Shi is such a simple child in a certain sense. In this case, what kind of adults are those who can't even understand Xiao Shi's act of saving people... (The words behind were painted black, and it is impossible to recognize what was originally written)

When I sent Xiao Shi back to the hotel, I didn’t see his parents. I’ll try my luck tomorrow.

】

[November 14

Thursday

I still didn’t meet Xiao Shi’s parents today. My luck is too bad, right?! I’ll try again tomorrow. There are some things that can only be said to adults…

I remember Gao Ming mentioned the beautiful mountain behind the school when he came back from vacation last time, so I took Xiao Shi there today. I didn't notice it before, but today I saw it is really beautiful. Standing on the top of the mountain, I can see the whole school. The students from the horticulture department on the rooftop also saw me and waved their shovels to greet me.

I pointed out the location of my class to Xiao Shi, and after looking at it, he carefully tied a red ribbon on a branch nearby as a mark.

He said, "There is someone who wants him to see this scenery too." At that time, I thought he was talking about his parents, until we went to the largest library in the city in the afternoon. Xiao Shi sat upright at the table with a pen in his hand. It seemed that he wanted to write something, but he didn't know what to write.

After I asked, Xiao Shi told me quickly that he had an older brother, but his brother was in poor health and was locked up in a treatment facility by the people who were watching over them (why did they watch over him? Xiao Shi did not answer this question for me).

Even he found the place by accident and met his brother. The other brothers didn't even know the existence of this eldest brother.

Xiao Shi said that he felt that the 'older brother' seemed to dislike him, and he originally disliked the 'older brother' for this reason. Later, he found that the 'older brother' had a reason for disliking him, and that reason made Xiao Shi very painful. He then realized that he was also a bad kid who had unknowingly harmed the 'older brother'.

To be honest, I didn't quite understand... But I understood that Xiao Shi actually liked this 'brother' very much. Since they are brothers, I imagined Xiao Jing and Gao Ming, and even if I didn't understand, I understood Xiao Shi's feelings.

"I want all my younger brothers to know about my big brother's existence. I can't stand it... When my big brother was in so much pain, we lived outside without knowing anything." Xiao Shi said, "Even though he hated me, my big brother told me that we were his eyes. He said that since he couldn't be free, we must be free forever."

The child with a pair of beautiful red eyes cried for the first time, with no expression on his face. Was it as if his tear glands were out of control? His tears flowed violently, and he kept saying sorry, saying that he wanted to show his elder brother the scenery of the hill behind, and that he wanted to be his teacher as well.

I frantically tried to comfort him for a long time, but he still didn't stop crying. In the end, Xiao Shi wiped his eyes and asked me, "Teacher, can you teach me how to encrypt text? I want to write down all these things and words."

Xiao Shi said that he would hide the encrypted notebook in a place where he could see his teacher every day... Weird, where is that?

This time it was my turn to ask him why, and Xiao Shi told me as a matter of course: He wanted to be the real eyes of his big brother, and after he was gone, his younger brothers would also have to become the real eyes of his big brother and take him to see the vast world outside.

At that moment, I really felt that I would never meet another child like Xiao Shiyi in the world.

】

Scotland's eyes were fixed on the last picture. His throat was so dry that he couldn't make a sound.

The last diary entry contained only two lines of date and a few short paragraphs.

[November 15

Friday

I saw the kid there. Why? Why was he there?

He was standing in front of the window, his white shirt had turned red, and in his hand was (another blackened ink stain).

He also saw me, and his expression collapsed in an instant. Before I could call him, he turned around and ran away, and I couldn't catch up with him.

...Originally, I was going to take him to see the snow today. The snow scenery in Nagano is also very beautiful.

Will I be able to see him again in the future?

】

Will I be able to see him again in the future?

Scotland said this in his mind, and for a moment he felt as if his heart was being cut by a knife, because he clearly remembered -

It was on the night of November 16 that his parents closed their eyes forever.