Chapter 10 (7)
numbness.
Yu Rui stood on the treadmill, cranking it to maximum speed, running until she was exhausted, without needing to think. The days seemed to have come to a standstill. Like the treadmill, she was stuck in a vicious cycle.
Weng Yue called and said she wanted to arrange a new job for Yu Rui out of old friendship. Yu Rui said she would stick to her post. Weng Yue didn't say much, so she just stuck to it. I didn't expect this girl to have such a sense of loyalty.
Calming down, Yu Rui began to reflect on the paths she had taken and the people she had met over the years. She discovered that judging people based on appearances was often a mistake. For example, the tattooed young man she met on the bus would be the first to offer his seat to an elderly person; the well-dressed scholar and professor who was more social than she was in the bar; and her actor classmates, who appeared glamorous on a daily basis but looked as if they were fleeing famine behind closed doors; and the women working as hostesses in karaoke bars, who probably sent their earnings to their parents first.
So what about Han Guang?
What is the real Han Guang like?
Although she helped him write a biography, Yu Rui still doesn't fully understand Han Guang. However, she believes that Han Guang's image in her mind is constantly changing, from a heroic idol to an ordinary man, a lonely animal walking upright.
She followed him, understood him, and then pitied him and loved him, that's all.
Yu Rui went alone to a concert held by her favorite singer. Unfortunately, it rained. The singer didn't leave the stage, singing with all his might, and the audience responded with glow sticks. When the singer touched on youthful themes, saying things like "Thank you for spending my youth with me," Yu Rui started crying too. With so many people in the audience, she felt like she could be warmed. On that stormy night, no one was there to watch the gray sky, stained with tears, with her.
When Yu Rui was almost unable to bear it, news came that Han Guang had returned, but no one in the company had seen him.
Yu Rui went to Han Guang's residence, a villa in the suburbs. The person who opened the door told her that the house had been resold. Did he go abroad? She called Weng Yue. Weng Yue warned her, "Why haven't you left yet? This is none of your business!"
Yu Rui explained, "Vice President Liu asked."
Weng Yue shouted, "Why is he so anxious? The person hasn't even died yet, and he's so eager to take over?!"
The phone hung up. Yu Rui was stunned.
After work that day, Yu Rui was still sitting in the office. She didn't want to go home because it was too empty, nor did she want to go to the gym because it was too tiring.
So rest quietly.
Yu Qi called with the good news that Huang Qi had been nominated for Best Supporting Actor at a certain film festival. Yu Rui offered her congratulations feebly. She wasn't particularly interested in acting right now. Yu Qi, sensing her sister's state, advised, "Sister, find the right path." Yu Rui flew into a rage. What was going on? Did women, once married, automatically place themselves in the shoes of a respectable wife? Did someone like her, drifting off, go down the wrong path?! Did she commit murder or arson?! Or steal someone else's man?! Perhaps her choices, in the eyes of some women, were outrageous, wishful thinking! Because she always wanted to ascend to the next level, to transcend class barriers. Was that wrong?! This was great! What an unreasonable little girl!
Yu Rui was so angry that she drank two mouthfuls of water, choked, and vomited it all out.
There were footsteps. Deep and shallow.
Yu Rui choked, but still asked who.
No one answered. Footsteps were getting closer. Against the backlight, Yu Rui could only make out a silhouette moving toward them. Was it Han Guang? She tensed. Judging by his figure, it looked like he was the right man. She instinctively stood up and called out, "Mr. Han."
"Not leaving yet." the other party said.
It's him! It's his voice.
Yu Rui walked around the barrier, her hands hanging in front of her, respectfully greeting a prominent figure. Finally, he approached. She looked up and was startled.
His hair was completely white, and he looked at least ten years older.
Yu Rui hesitated, not knowing what to say.
Han Guang touched his hair and said, "You must be uncomfortable."
Yu Rui quickly said no.
"Give me a cup of coffee." Han Guang said.
Working all night, Han Guang stayed in his office. Yu Rui accompanied him in the outer room. She didn't understand why he was working so hard. He had just been given the all-clear and was free again. He deserved a good rest. Soon, new news came out: Han Guang had completely resigned from his position in the group, meaning that from now on, the group he had built would have no connection to him. Less than twelve hours after the news was released, news broke that a male celebrity had cheated on him. Public opinion was in an uproar, and people quickly forgot about Han Guang. But Yu Rui could not forget. Han Guang had just disappeared.
No. This can't happen.
She drove all the way to Han Guang's villa. No, the house had already been sold. Yu Rui was confused for a moment. She called Weng Yue, who lied and said the group had something to give to President Han.
"Give it to me," Weng Yue said. "Send it to me."
Yu Rui was embarrassed, "I have to give it to him personally."
"What is it?" Weng Yue asked again.
"It seems to be... a document." She lied. Weng Yue said she didn't know where he was either. Yu Rui was extremely lost, aimless, helpless, and powerless! The phone rang. It was a message from Weng Yue.
An address. It's an old house in a residential area.
Looks a little familiar.
Yu Rui thought for a long time before she remembered that she seemed to have mentioned this place during a biographical interview. It was the first house he bought in a big city - the place where Han Guang made his fortune.
It was already dark. The windows of the residential buildings shone like eyes, as if they could see through the darkness. Yu Rui, in her high heels, stepped with each step, as if she were treading on the heart of the night: thump, ...
When he opened the door and saw Yu Rui, Han Guang was stunned for a moment. His first question was, "Why haven't you left yet?"
Yu Rui said she had come to bring you something. She actually did bring something. A bag of books. His biography, left in the office.
"Lost it." Han Guang said. He had no intention of inviting her in.
A foul smell wafted from the room. Yu Rui knew that Old Han was too concerned about his reputation to let her in. But there was progress: he had dyed his hair, his age hidden. This showed he was making progress, held himself to high standards, and wouldn't commit suicide. There was still hope.
"You can't do this." She emphasized every word, "You have to know..."
He waved his hand and asked her to wait a moment. He went into the house to change his clothes, and then they went to the small park downstairs.
Walking along the cobblestones, they saw many elderly people square dancing. They headed towards the artificial lake, where it was quieter. Yu Rui kept considering her words. Comfort? No need? What then? It couldn't be a confession. She suddenly wondered why she had come here. Perhaps it was just to see him.
Seeing him safe and sound. Seeing him cheer up.
A solitary lamp, gleaming white, lit the lakeside. Han Guang stood beneath the streetlight, smoking. Yu Rui asked for one, too.
After smoking one, Han Guang was the first to say, "I know, I know what you mean."
He knew everything. Nothing could be hidden from him. He was a man of many talents, all-seeing, yet now he had been banished to the mortal realm.
"That's not what I meant..." Yu Rui was afraid that he would misunderstand.
"Whatever it means," he said, his voice rising with a hint of emotion, "don't follow me."
Yu Rui's eyes were red and she half lowered her head. The thin light from the night light shone on her face, making her look particularly beautiful.
Han Guang said dejectedly, "I am nothing now... I have nothing..."
"I don't care!" Yu Rui shouted.
The sound reached the surface of the water and dissipated.
Han Guang smiled bitterly, "You can find someone better." After a pause, he continued, "You are young, beautiful, and sensible..."
For the first time, Yu Rui realized that she had so many advantages in Han Guang's eyes, and he had never praised her in front of her.
“I don’t care,” Yu Rui repeated, interrupting him. “I can accompany you…to make a comeback.”
Han Guangding stood there, like a stone statue.
He had long been deserted by his friends and family, but he never expected that in the end there would be such a little girl who would stay with him forever.
"What if I can't get up?" He's not young anymore. He smiles bitterly. He laughs at those years.
Yu Rui burst into tears, brimming with optimism. "It doesn't matter if I can't get up. I can still work on the farm, shovel manure, work lime, drive a tractor..." These were all stories from his early years, as described in his biography. Han Guang couldn't help but laugh too. He might have fallen on hard times, but he wasn't that broke. Yet, he was touched. Giving timely assistance is always better than adding icing on the cake.
"I can't keep you." He still refused.
"I do." Yu Rui said firmly.
On this dark night, they all made decisions that would affect their lives.
"What do you want?" Han Guang tried his best to remain calm. He was afraid of losing. "What do you want?"
"I want you to... love me." Yu Rui blurted out. It was too bold. In the past, she hadn't dared to think that she could actually ask for Han Guang's love. But now, she told herself that the man standing before her was just a wounded and helpless man, an old man, an old man.
"I love you." Han Guang said without hesitation.
"real?"
"I love you," he said again, letting her hear it once more.
"I can't hear it."
"I love you." Every word he spoke was resounding. They could be heard across the lake. Because of this love, Han Guang seemed to be instantly infused with energy. He could fight again, could live for decades more. Yu Rui leaped on him, wishing she could sink her entire body into his flesh. Who knows. Love. Damn love. It's always the right time, right place, and right people. Perhaps Han Guang's misfortune was just heaven's way of making Rui's life complete.
The two kissed passionately. An elderly woman walking around the lake accidentally saw them and thought they had seen a ghost. She screamed, then realized it was a human and spat, "What kind of character!"
Han Guang turned his head, pointed at Yu Rui, and said to the aunt, "I love her." The aunt was so scared that she ran away a few steps, "Psycho! You stinky hooligan!"
Yu Rui sobbed. In this dark night where she couldn't even stretch out her hand, she finally found, fucking love.
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