Chapter 182 Tomorrow Blooms

The ground was shaking, small explosions occurred continuously from nowhere, and the walls around were gradually collapsing.

Kasugawa Shugo felt like he was on a ship sailing in a storm, but the surging waves were much gentler than concrete blocks or steel bars.

He curled himself up and covered his back of the head as quickly as possible, which was more vulnerable than other parts of his body. He was choked by the smoke and dust and closed his eyes.

Dust and debris fell with the collapse. In short, there were a lot of cold and hard things. The chestnut-haired man closed his eyes and waited for all the things rolling down from above to fall on his head. However, he didn't expect that the first thing that fell on his hand that was protecting his head was a warm palm.

The back of his hand was covered by a hand that was slightly bigger than his own. Then, a weight heavier than the hand fell on his head, as if someone had rested their chin on his head.

Kasugawa Shugo opened his eyes and looked forward. Before he could see the situation in front of him, he was blinded by the oncoming dust. His eyes were originally big and round, but they were a little bigger because of panic. He didn't know how much the force-bearing area was increased. He squinted his eyes immediately after being stung by the dust. Physiological tears squeezed out from the corners of his eyes, smearing his face covered with blood and dust. He didn't need

to look, just from the familiar smell even after many years, he could smell who it was. He twitched his nose slightly, and his face changed in the smell that enveloped him.

"Why are you back?! Are you crazy!" He gritted his teeth, and moved his hands that were originally protecting his head down to rub his eyes a few times. Then he reopened his eyes. The first thing he did after his vision was restored was to push Ikawa out. "You... ugh!"

The chestnut-haired police officer was interrupted by the pain in

his calf before he could finish his words with obvious anger. The increasingly frequent trembling of the steel muscles seemed to foreshadow the coming of some kind of crisis. Kasugawa Shugo struggled to sit up, stretched out his hands with all his strength, and protected the back of Ikawa's head and top of his head.

What followed was the collapse that had been expected. The broken concrete walls, the collapsed floor, the fallen brick and tile fragments, it was like a premeditated avalanche, a huge noise that could bury everything, everything fell into a deathly silence. In

this total collapse, the only thing he could do was to use both hands to tightly protect the head of the man who was holding him down. He didn't know what it was, and he didn't want to guess what it was. In the few short seconds just now, he had looked at the back of his hand without any protection in a disorderly manner.

The only thing that Officer Kurofa could remember was that at least no large concrete slab had fallen down and pressed his hand underneath, or that all the tasks of blocking the collapsed objects that were too large and too heavy were taken over by Ikawa's body. Kasugawa Shugo protected the man's head with his hands, blocking those fragments that were insignificant compared to the steel plate. Ishikawa protected the man's entire body and carried all the falling objects with his sturdy body.

No one realized that this posture was close to a hug.

The steel bar that pierced the calf was tightly grasped in Ishikawa's hand. He tried his best to hold the weapon with a rough surface in the violent shaking, and tried his best to keep it in a relatively stable state, so that it would not really tear Kasugawa Shugo's calf into a bloody mess during the violent shaking.

Ikawa lifted the steel bar and the heavy concrete connecting the two ends with one hand. Even though it was broken into small pieces, it was still heavy. His arms were full of blue veins due to excessive force. He gritted his teeth and squeezed out a sound from between his teeth, "...lower your leg slowly."

Kasugawa Shugo quickly cooperated with the other party to put down the steel bar, and slowly lowered his pierced calf. After the concrete blocks at both ends of the steel bar finally found support and landed smoothly, Ikawa let go of his hand that was rubbed with blood marks. It

was as dark as night. All the collapsed objects pressed on top, forming an airtight cage. He was in the only safe area that was not buried, which was created by Ikawa's body.

"I don't need you to save me at all." The chestnut-haired man said. His angry eyes were shaken by the tremor in his tone, making the sharp tip of the sentence tremble into a strange curve. He bit his lower lip, which made his voice sound a little calmer. "Have you always been so self-righteous?"

He said the stinging words, but he didn't dare to move his bloody hand from the other's head. Kasugawa Shugo didn't know how many collapsed things pressed on Ikawa's back. The man's arm supporting his head was shaking all the time, along with his muscular body, but he didn't let himself press down at all.

Does it hurt?

He asked in his heart, and then quickly gave himself an answer.

How could it not hurt? The force of the concrete slab hitting him could shatter his internal organs. With his internal organs damaged, any force he exerted would cause bleeding inside, causing him to feel continuous and sharp pain. Ikawa was now using brute force to support all the weight with his body. How could it not hurt...

Ikawa looked at him and realized belatedly that he had been hearing the word "self-righteous" many years ago. When he decided to lead the police to this chaotic alley, he had been listening to self-righteousness for a whole day.

'You don't know what I want at all. You self-righteously push things that you think are good to me. I don't need these at all...'

'Why do you self-righteously make decisions for me? ! '

The boy, who was just as tall as his chest, had eyes that seemed to be burning with fire, but Ishikawa would not be burned by such fire. He maintained his cold attitude that had not changed for years and asked him what he wanted.

When he asked this question, the boy opposite was stunned for a long time, hesitating and unable to explain clearly. In the end, the question was left unanswered.

At that time, Ishikawa thought that he knew nothing. He had been locked in a room where not even light could get in for so many years. He probably had long forgotten what it was like to live with his grandmother before. He didn't know how much better the normal world outside was than their place, so he didn't know what he wanted and was unwilling to leave.

He took advantage of his parents' arbitrariness and arranged what he thought was the best path for his children. Now, looking back, rather than not knowing what he wanted, the boy seemed to have the answer, but was unwilling to say it out loud.

"That day." Oikawa's voice was very hoarse when he spoke. He couldn't even speak loudly. A slight breath came out of his mouth, which made his voice sound softer than any other time. It made him really like a father talking to his child, "Want to say... what do you want?"

The topic changed too quickly.

Kasugawa Shugo didn't connect with the other party's train of thought, and blurted out "Ah...?" in the darkness. The latter realized how abrupt his question was, so the man swallowed the blood that was about to overflow and added, "The day before you left."

The chestnut-haired man then remembered the quarrel. He pursed his lips and swallowed the words he wanted to question or curse at under Ikawa's gaze.

He couldn't tell what emotion he was feeling now. In the face of death, the long-standing hatred and anger all vanished into thin air. The remaining part that couldn't be dispersed was infinitely magnified and stretched by the word "death", changing its shape and becoming a lingering bitter taste, which blended with reluctance, fear and something else, making his nose sour.

What was he thinking at the time?

He would look up at the nailed-down window every day, imagining running around outside in the sun, or recalling playing with the neighbor's children when he was still at his grandmother's house, but when freedom was finally coming, he was unwilling to leave.

What was the answer he wanted to say at that time? What was more important than the sun, a normal life, no longer monotonous dishes, a room with windows that could be opened at any time, new friends, and all the good things that could be obtained as long as he went out, making him desperately want to stay.

"I want..." Kasugawa Shugo's voice was trembling, and the end of the words became vague, a bit like a spoiled child. He sniffed and almost immediately recalled the scene of that day. The emotions that had been gone for more than ten years surged up again, "Always with you."

Only the boy who was fourteen years old at the time could not say the answer.

"It doesn't matter where, even staying at home, I just want to be with you forever."

In that small home. It was a dark and quiet place, but every day when he opened his eyes, a puppy with the color of bread would rub his cheek with its wet nose. He sat on the floor covered with thick carpets, bandaging the wounds of the mercenaries who seldom came back with his still immature movements. The latter would look at him silently while all his attention was on the wound, lift up his movable arm, and rub his soft cheek with his rough fingertips.

An answer he had never thought of.

Oikawa was stunned for a moment, and then a little laughter escaped from his throat.

The man still couldn't figure out what was so memorable about the room where no light could penetrate and his father who had hardly fulfilled any responsibilities for Kasugawa Shugo that made him willing to give up everything else and stay.

But Ishikawa could hear the seriousness in his tone, and the pure emotion without any other mixture in it. This sentence was enough to knock this 49-year-old man from the inside out, melting him into a soft mess of liquid.

He tried to move his arm a little further inside, down along his child's fluffy chestnut curly hair, and finally stuck to the back of his neck. The man rubbed the delicate skin of his back neck with his full fingertips and palms.

The soothing action was gentle enough that he himself was not aware of it.

"I'm sorry." He said seriously. If this was the answer that the boy couldn't say at the time, then his decision was probably completely disappointing to his strong and simple love that he didn't know why it started.

Maybe it would have been a good choice to let him stay. After the boy had learned everything he taught, the window that had been covered with black cloth and wooden boards could probably be opened. He would watch the face that looked exactly like Kaoruko gradually open up and take on the masculine angles. He would also take the grown-up boy to see Iwama, who would probably be so scared that he couldn't speak.

The child he raised might also become a mercenary, but because of his illness, he probably wouldn't want him to be exposed to such things. Intelligence work would be good, safer than being a mercenary, and Iwama could teach him a lot. After the small room can no longer accommodate two people, they should move to a place with better sunlight and enough space. Maybe they can even raise two more dogs. There are stray dogs everywhere outside that area.

Thinking of this, Ikawa couldn't help but twitching his lips, as if he finally understood why the answer of "being with you" could cover so many other choices. But...but, compared to that kind of life, he is still "self-righteous" and would rather see Kasugawa Shugo, who has become a policeman now, with his eyes shining.

"...Are you...happy now?" When the man asked this question, he didn't realize that the words he used were so childish and polite that Iwama would think he was a fake if he heard it. After taking the boy back, Ikawa, who grew up in the gray area, spent a long time restraining himself from uttering any rude or vulgar swear words in front of him. He even learned the way of speaking from a somewhat naive child because he stayed with him for a long time.

In short, this sentence was very inconsistent with his character in terms of tone and words, but no one cared about it at the moment.

Are you happy?

Being a drug-hunting police officer is tiring and hard, but the cafeteria is delicious enough. Every time I come back from a mission, I will see on the table that Daiji Takeda packed him a midnight snack even though I forgot to tell him. After experiencing too many separations and deaths between colleagues, when I wake up, I can always feel that I am wearing the coat of a colleague who just passed by, just like opening a blind box. He has to become a stranger to his friends in all occasions, but he can still sneak into his friend's house, rush to the dining table as soon as he enters the door and stuff the takeout that his friend ordered in advance into his mouth. There are also extra lunch boxes that he took over from Tsukiyama Asari in various ways like an agent.

"Yeah." Kasugawa Shugo nodded, and his eyebrows suddenly softened when he recalled those memories that were hot and warm enough.

Iikawa looked at him and said, "Then you can put it aside, forget about the previous things."

The original expression on the chestnut-haired man's face retreated, and he looked up at him in a daze, but only met a pair of eyes with the same color as his own.

"Since you are living a good life now, forget about the previous things."

Iikawa looked at the child in front of him who had not yet realized what he was still carrying.

From the apology he made not long ago, he understood why Kasugawa Shugo was still in a state of panic. Perhaps the impact of the past was too profound, and it subtly turned into a fear of abandonment. In short, he was still trapped in the web woven by the past.

He smiled and put the spicy curry rice into his mouth, but he didn't like the taste that was not friendly to people with light tastes. He just tried to pull something out of the familiar smell.

Amuro Toru, who works three jobs in a row, can adopt a puppy to adjust his overly tense spirit. However, the chestnut-haired police officer who works non-stop would rather stay in a room without any personal information and stare at the noisy variety shows on TV after all the work is done, rather than welcome a little life that has left him in a hurry.

All the afterimages of the past have become the curves drawn by Kasugawa Shugo himself, tying himself up in the fear brought by memories like a prison.

Don't trap yourself in the past.

What Oikawa said was simple, just an ordinary logic. Since you are already living a happy life, with friends and even family, why should you be anxious about things that have been in the past for so long. The words couldn't be simpler, but the chestnut-haired man looked as if he had been hit hard on the head, and his expression was a little blank.

Kasugawa Shugo wanted to say something, and his hand that was protecting the man's head moved down, but when it touched the back of his neck, he felt something cold, like the string of a necklace.

A very familiar touch.

He lowered his head and saw the necklace that accidentally slipped out of the collar of his clothes and fell outside his clothes when Ishikawa returned. It was the amulet that he had heard the man mention before. When he looked closely, he found that it had an overly familiar appearance.

"Take it off." Ishikawa whispered.

So Kasugawa Shugo took it off with a slightly trembling hand and held it tightly in his palm.

It was a necklace he had made before, and if you look up, you can also see the words of the orphanage engraved on it. Things made in the handicraft class in the welfare house are regularly sold at prices far exceeding their original price but within a reasonable range in exchange for charity. He just went to the welfare house's handicraft class and subconsciously chose the way the man taught him to tie the necklace. The strongest knotting method does not require a good appearance, so he made the ugliest necklace among all the children, but was still bought by a fool at a high price.

Now this fool finally revealed his true face.

"You... have been there." Kasugawa Shugo's voice was very hoarse.

The man did not respond. Of course he had been there, but only occasionally, so he missed the bread's departure and many other things. He remembered the last time he went there, he saw the boy in the backyard. He and another boy with black hair and a gentle face squatted together, earnestly coaxing the child in the middle who was much younger than them. The child had an overly special appearance and a blank expression, but after raising his head, he carefully hugged the chestnut-haired boy's waist, making the latter's eyes curved into crescents with laughter. He turned around and said to the person next to him, "Xiao Wu hugged me first," his eyes were bright like melted honey.

So he bought the necklace that could be seen at a glance who made it, and put down the remnants in his heart, and never went there again.

The pendant below was added by Iikawa himself. I don't know if it contains the so-called amulet, but every time he kisses the necklace, his expression is almost pious. Perhaps it is really a lucky sign from some very powerful temple. The small piece of metal was tightly held in the hand of Kasugawa Shugo, and the palm of his hand ached.

He looked at the pendant for a while, and when he looked up at Iikawa, he realized that when he said the last sentence just now, the glaring blood that he could no longer swallow finally flowed down the corner of his lips and dripped onto the clothes of the person under him, spreading small bloodstains.

This is a farewell signal.

As the blood dripped, time was stretched to become something that can be seen but cannot be grasped, and it fled away in panic.

Kasugawa Shugo didn't know what else he could say. The two of them were almost pressed together in the small space. If he moved forward a little, he could touch his forehead with his father, whom he had not seen for fifteen years.

"I..." He let out a sound from his throat, his voice shaking and almost choking. The chestnut-haired man raised his head. At this moment, he was as terrified as when he had just left his home where he had lived for six or seven years and was taken away by a strange father in a strange hospital. He opened his mouth and asked the answer that almost everyone hopes to get from their parents.

"...Have I ever made you proud?"

He couldn't tell what he was thinking of when he asked this question. Maybe it was a bowl of tasteless noodles and the man who ate it all with a normal expression, or maybe it was the dark eyes of the man he saw when he got up panting after being easily knocked to the ground, or maybe it was just the small but empty room.

With emotions that even he couldn't figure out, he subconsciously opened his mouth and asked this incoherent and abrupt question.

Iikawa looked at him quietly.

The child he had been separated from for more than ten years had grown up and had the edges and figure of an adult, but when he looked at those round eyes of the same color as his own, he felt for no reason that he was looking at a child who was less than ten years old.

A long time ago, a boy who was not even as tall as his waist also looked at him with these bright and beautiful eyes, looking up at the face that had appeared repeatedly in his dreams, and asked him in a very low and small voice, trembling.

"Am I satisfying you?"

More than ten years later, the word "satisfied" that reflects all the thoughts in the child's heart was cunningly replaced by "proud" by the grown-up Kasugawa Shugo. If others heard it, they would probably just think that this was a child asking whether his current career and life made his father happy.

But Iikawa knows his child. Even after so many years, Kasugawa Shugo is still a stubborn person. The knot in his heart has probably never been resolved. Even though he said those words just now, the chestnut-haired man still needs time to digest it before he can reconcile with himself.

He asked this question as if he was asking whether he had value in the eyes of his father.

"You don't need to satisfy anyone." Iikawa whispered, and replaced it with the words that Kasugawa Shugo really wanted to say.

You don't need to satisfy anyone, you don't need to be someone that others like, and you don't need to be afraid of these things.

The chestnut-haired man widened his eyes slightly, and before he could say anything, the man who completely protected him in his arms spoke again.

"If you must ask, just replace that word with 'proud'." A gentle light that didn't match him at all appeared in Oikawa's eyes, and he spoke in a halting manner, "In that case... my answer would probably be... always."

"No matter what."

You always make me proud. Whether it was the first time I learned to cook a bowl of bland egg noodles in a small safe house, leaving home to find food, or trying to stand up again when he taught me all the moves, he was proud.

Not because I did it well, but just because I am your father and you are my child.

Because of the love he never expressed.

Oikawa lowered his head, which was barely able to move under the rubble, and moved closer to place a belated kiss on his child's forehead, which was covered in blood and dust.

"Do what you want to do."

Do what you want to do, and be the person you want to be.

Kasugawa Shugo's tears finally burst out.

He mumbled the name "Dad", which he hardly called when he was a child, and wrapped his arms around the other's neck with shaking hands, finally reducing the distance between them to zero, turning it into a fairly decent hug. He choked and curled up in his father's arms, as if he didn't know how to respond to the kiss on his forehead, and as if he wanted to compensate the tall man in front of him for all the things he owed, all the things he owed.

Tears welled up in his eyes, and Kasugawa Shugo frantically kissed Ikawa's cheek, kissing the cheek that was covered in blood and ash like his own, kissing the pricking stubble on his chin, and the tears melted where the two of them were close. Later, he was trembling and could not do anything else, just pressed his cheek against the other's, and the tears that fell more and more fiercely slid down his cheek to the place where the two of them were touching. The place where they hugged

was just connected by cold and torn clothes, and only the cheeks were completely pressed together without any partition, transmitting a little bit of the aftertaste of the two people's body temperature.

The chestnut-haired man was drowsily thinking about a lot of random things. The blood that was dripping on his body, from the man above or his own blood, had become icy cold at some point. He rubbed himself harder in Ichikawa's arms, rubbing his face against him.

Even his vision was blurred, not because of tears this time.

His calf had been bleeding continuously from the previous pulling, and the blood loss in his body made him feel cold all over. The severe cold that seeped from his bones gradually swept through his body, bringing him a dead sleepiness. Kasugawa Shugo felt fear for no reason in his sleepiness. This was very different from the feeling when his throat was slashed a long time ago. At that time, he knew clearly that Yutani Mia had not slashed his fatal spot, and he also knew that reinforcements would arrive in time to send him to the rescue team. At that time, he did not feel any pain because of the painkillers.

Now he really felt the crisis that if he did not do something, he would really die.

With the last of his strength, Iikawa lowered his head, the only part that could move, bit the curly chestnut hair of the person he was protecting, and pulled it hard to the side.

The slight pain finally woke up Kasugawa Shugo, who was about to fall asleep. He tried hard to wake up from the vast darkness, but his eyelids were heavy as if they were filled with lead.

Along with the pain came a faint shout from afar, very soft, but it sounded like thunder in the ear.

"Shugo--?"

"Shugo!"

Was it...Jinpei Matsuda?

Kasugawa Shugo's brain finally started to work again. He wanted to stand up, wanted to make a sound to respond to the other party's shout and let him know his position, but no matter how hard he tried, he only moved his fingertips slightly in the end.

The drowsiness brought by blood loss was like an airtight net, tightly entangling him. The chestnut-haired man trembled his eyelashes and didn't open his eyes. His drowsy brain turned a few more times, and finally realized that his trapped body needed more intense stimulation to wake up.

But now he needed a lot of energy to even move his fingers. It was difficult, as if every part of the body had become the heaviest metal ornament. I struggled with all my strength but failed again and again, which not only consumed my energy, but also brought me a growing sense of despair.

Can I really... do it? It seemed that even opening my eyes was a luxury.

'I promise you that I will never do this again in the future, and you also promise me one condition.'

But he really wanted to live.

'Okay... You promise not to do it again, and I promise not to say angry words again. '

Really... I don't want to break my promise, and if I don't think of a way...

Kasugawa Shugo bit his back teeth, tried to regain control of his body in the strong dizziness, and then tried his best to pull his pierced leg back.

He didn't know how much he moved, maybe only a few millimeters, or just a tremor like a fingertip, but it was enough for the rough surface of the steel to rub against the extremely sensitive flesh and blood, and the pain exploding from below surged and took away the sleepiness and darkness that were suffocating him.

Kasugawa Shugo opened his mouth, but couldn't make a sound. He was in so much pain that he almost lost his voice. But his brain woke up a little bit, and he moved his calf with the hard-earned clarity, and finally opened his eyes in pain.

It was still dark.

The chestnut-haired man turned his head with difficulty, and with the light coming through the gaps, he reached out and groped on the ground little by little, and finally touched a cold and hard object.

It was the hand that he let go after the roof collapsed. Gun.

General's hand. When he held the gun tightly in his hand, he almost shivered from the cold surface. After trying several times, he put his index finger on the trigger and pointed the gun at the ground.

The sound of gunfire echoed above the silent ruins. The crows that had already landed on the land full of blood and dust were startled by the sound and spread their wings to escape.

Matsuda Jinpei, who had been searching for a long time in the ruins, turned his head and looked in the direction of the sound. Then he suddenly realized something and his black eyes were lit up.

The man moved the broken concrete block bit by bit, and the little sunlight from the heavy clouds penetrated through this small gap and illuminated half of the man's face inside.

The hands that Matsuda Jinpei had always been proud of began to tremble at this moment. He forced an extremely ugly smile, the joy of regaining what he had lost mixed with other things, making the man almost cry.

"Found you..." he murmured.

Kasugawa Shugo turned his head slightly towards the source of the sound, his left eye including half of his face were immersed in the light, and his eyes met Matsuda Jinpei's.

The latter paused for a moment.

His good friend was particularly unfamiliar at this moment.

He seemed to have finally gotten rid of something, but also seemed to have lost something. His calf, which was pierced by steel bars, had lost all feeling, and it seemed that the blood was almost drained out, but his eyes were surprisingly bright, as if he had been reborn.

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