After five sleepless days and nights, he was really exhausted. Only now could he put aside all the worries and precautions and get some sleep.
Suddenly, all the resentment disappeared without a trace. How could right and wrong be clearly explained in just one sentence? She had accompanied him through the gurgling blood on the Jiuyou Terrace and the thrilling steps in the silent palace. She knew how deep the hatred was and how deep the hatred was. The oath, "Live on and kill them all!" still echoes in her ears. How much sneer, how much cold arrows and contempt, how much shame and resentment, are like the seeds of the butcher's knife, deeply planted in their hearts early on. What kind of temptation and power is it to overturn the towering gate of Shengjin Palace and smash the towering walls of Zhenhuang City? However, he eventually turned back because of her words. How could she not know the friendship between them?
The beliefs she had held over the past few days turned into struggling emotions today, with resentment, regret, joy, sadness, knots in her heart, but also emotion. She had been repeatedly tossed around by two completely different emotions, until just now, when he gently warned her and turned and left, she suddenly realized the truth in her heart.
The sunset, the war horses, the sabers, the shouts of the soldiers, the screams of the civilians, the war devours everything, including people's beliefs and consciences, but it can never devour the feelings between them.
She did not get the trust of the people she was loyal to, and she risked everything to defend the city. Countless soldiers lost their lives for this. The country was covered in blood and bones were scattered. As a general, she should have resentment and hatred, and feel deep resentment and unwillingness. However, as a woman, she received a friendship that was heavier than the mountains, the kingdom and the beauty, the king's ambition and the mutual understanding. He gave her a positive answer in an instant. What qualifications did she have to be unwilling and resentful?
When he woke up, Chu Qiao was sleeping beside him. Her forehead was smooth. Her small body was curled up into a ball, and she was holding his hand tightly. It was still dark outside. Yan Xun stood in front of the window wearing a loose robe. Outside, there was dusk snow on the mountains. It was still the sky and land of Yanbei. Even the wind was cold. It is still barren and cold here, and it seems to have always been like this. Even though my father had been benevolent in the past, life here is still poor and difficult. But why, when I thought of Yanbei, I always stubbornly believed that it was a place with singing birds and fragrant flowers, rich and beautiful?
Maybe, maybe it is really as Miss Yu said, he has changed, his heart has become bigger, his eyes can see farther, and he wants to have more things. Apart from the desire for revenge, something else deep-rooted took root in his heart. He always felt that there was nothing wrong with this. Years of experience had taught him the importance of power and strength. Without these, everything would be like a bird without wings, unable to fly.
But now, he suddenly felt a little scared.
He almost killed her, and the thought of this made his hair stand on end.
He looked out the dark window and seemed to see the vast land east of Chishui again. He could still remember how ambitious and excited he was on the morning when he led his troops to Yanming Pass. What a pity. However, Daxia is still there, and what would happen to Achu if he came back a day later? He took a deep breath. Fortunately...
Her fingers were a little cold, the bed was empty, Chu Qiao opened her eyes, and saw Yan Xun's back standing in front of the window. In the darkness, his back seemed a little heavy.
"Yan Xun?" she called softly, with sleepiness in her voice.
The man turned around and said, "Are you awake?"
"Well, what are you thinking about?"
Yan Xun came over, hugged her gently, and said calmly: "I didn't think about anything."
Chu Qiao pressed her face against his chest, listening to his steady and strong heartbeat through his thin clothes. It seemed that only at this moment did she feel certain that he had really returned.
"Yan Xun, do you regret it?"
Yan Xun's eyes were firm, and he exerted a little force on his arms, "No."
"Will you regret it later?"
Yan Xun was silent. Chu Qiao's heart gradually grew colder and her muscles tensed. After a long while, she heard him whisper, "I regret coming back so late."
The tip of her nose suddenly felt a little sore. Chu Qiao buried her head in it, then closed her eyes and pursed her lips tightly.
What else do you expect? One should not be too selfish. Even if they are together day and night, how much of the pain in his heart can she share? How much could she understand about the sadness of the tragic death of an entire family and the hatred that had accumulated over the years? As long as he still remembers her, still misses her, and still cares about her, that's enough.
"Yan Xun, don't hide things from me anymore."
"Yes," Yan Xun nodded, "Okay."
Chu Qiao fell into a dream again. The dream was warm and sweet. Someone was holding her hand, so firmly, as if he would never let go for the rest of her life. She thought vaguely that she seemed to have had such a dream before, but where? Yes, it was in Bian Tang, a warm and beautiful place with blooming flowers, but she felt that it was not as warm as Yanbei. Standing on this land, her heart was moist and warm, even though the mountains outside were as hard as iron and the plains were covered with snow at dusk. The winter snow has just stopped, and the thin sunlight, as thin as clouds, falls sparsely through the shadows of the trees, bringing warmth. After Yan Xun returned, even the weather seemed to clear up. The sky was blue and high, the sun was bright, and the snowy ground was vast, reflecting the bright light, dazzling people.
The battles in recent days not only left Yanbei devastated, but also exhausted Chu Qiao. After she relaxed, she suddenly fell seriously ill, with a cold, a high fever, and constant coughing at night. She took bowl after bowl of medicine, but her condition did not improve, and the doctors changed like a revolving lantern. Although the door was always closed, she could still often hear Yan Xun getting angry at the doctors. However, every time he saw her, he was calm as if nothing had happened, and occasionally comforted her, "It's okay, it's just a cold, you'll be fine after a rest."
It seemed that she had not been sick like this for a long time. She remembered it as a child. Yan Xun was sick and she had no medicine, so she ran to steal it. After being discovered, she was beaten severely. However, the medicine she stole with great difficulty did not make Yan Xun better. Instead, in order to save her, she caught a cold again, had a fever at night, and talked nonsense. Since she couldn't use cold water to stimulate him directly, she ran out and squatted in the snow. After she was frozen to the bone, she came back and hugged him. She did this for the whole night. When Yan Xun woke up the next day, she was seriously ill. From then on, she was always afraid of the cold, and even when she was sitting by the fire, her limbs were always cold. However, over the years, the hardships of life, the difficulties of traveling, the continuous changes and killings have occurred. Therefore, even if he was sick and in pain, he could always rely on his willpower to endure it. Now that he has fallen down, he has been bedridden.
Looking back now on those days of caution and hardship, they seem so far away. I was so hateful at that time, and secretly swore that one day I would get rid of this predicament and make all those who bullied me pay the price. But now I often miss it, miss the desolate world with only the two of us left, miss the days when I had no one to lean on and could only lean on each other's backs for warmth.
It was afternoon when Miss Yu came. The afternoon light poured in through the window lattices in circles, drawing mottled shadows on the ground. Miss Yu still looked the same, with light eyebrows, plain eyes, eyes like autumn water, a long neck, a pointed chin, a few pale cheeks, and a long white fur coat. She walked in quietly and stood at the door without saying a word, just waiting quietly for her to be discovered.
Chu Qiao was slightly startled when she suddenly saw her. She sat up by holding onto the bedpost and said in a hoarse voice, "Miss Yu, when did you come? Why didn't you say anything?"
Miss Yu stepped forward, her lips curled up into a smile, "I just got here a while ago, I just wanted to come and see you."
"sit."
Miss Yu sat across from her bed, looked at her carefully, then frowned slightly and said, "Why is she so sick?"
She picked up a coat and put it on Chu Qiao's shoulders. Chu Qiao leaned on the soft pillow, her cheeks pale and her lips bloodless. She smiled slightly and said, "I think I caught a cold a few days ago."
Miss Yu looked at her, sighed, and said softly: "You have always been a stubborn child. Have you developed a disease at such a young age?"
Miss Yu should be around twenty-six or twenty-seven years old this year, not that old, but the way she speaks and does things always gives people a sense of vicissitudes, as if Chu Qiao is really just a child in her eyes.
"It's okay, just take care of it."
"That's right. Illness comes like a mountain falling, and goes away like a thread being pulled out. You should just focus on recuperating and don't think about anything. Worrying too much can harm your health."
Chu Qiao nodded, and suddenly remembered something, and asked, "Miss, have you seen the officer of the Southwest Town Envoy?"
Miss Yu's eyes flickered slightly, and she said calmly, "Just now I told you not to worry too much, have you forgotten so quickly?"
Chu Qiao shook her head slightly, "I'm just a little worried."
"Your Highness is willing to withdraw troops from Yanming Pass for you, so how can he not accommodate a mere Southwest Town Envoy?"
Chu Qiao couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed when her feelings were suddenly revealed. She was silent for a while before she whispered, "I'm just afraid that those people are unruly and will offend him. If he gets angry..."
Miss Yu chuckled and said, "Don't worry, everyone knows their limits."
Chu Qiao felt relieved and looked up and asked, "Will the girl stay in Beishuo?"
The sun was shining brightly outside, and Miss Yu said softly, "A war is about to break out in the east. I won't stay here for long. Maybe in a few days, I will have to move into Yanming Pass."
Chu Qiao asked seriously, "Did Da Xia send troops to attack us so soon?"
"Your Highness has occupied the northwest, how can Daxia just sit there and let it go? I heard that they have already started mobilizing troops."
"So fast, who is coming? Zhao Che?"
Miss Yu smiled, "Except for him, there is no one else. Meng Tian is already old. Besides, the one in Shengjin Palace must not trust others. Even this son, he has some concerns."
Chu Qiao nodded. The room was warm, and the charcoal fire in the ridge was fragrant, making people feel dizzy and sleepy. "Miss, be careful. Zhao Che is not like Zhao Qi. He is a difficult person to deal with."
"Don't worry, Daoya will go with me." Miss Yu smiled slightly, with a hint of lightness in her eyes and her expression became peaceful.
Chu Qiao understood it in her heart, but she didn't point it out. She just said, "It would be much safer if Mr. Wu also went with us."
"You take a rest. I have something else to do. I'll leave first."
Chu Qiao nodded, "Miss, thank you for what happened before."
Miss Yu paused for a moment, turned around, and looked at him with a brisk and indifferent expression, "Ah Chu really has a very smart mind."
Chu Qiao was ill and couldn't get out of bed, so she just nodded and said, "Go slowly, young lady."
After Miss Yu left, a maid came in and brought medicine to Chu Qiao. She picked up the medicine bowl and drank it in one gulp. The medicine was very bitter and her mouth felt astringent.
In fact, it is not difficult to guess. With Yan Xun's intelligence, how could he not have a perfect method? The reason why he left Miss Yu behind was to support him. However, when they were in Beishuo, Miss Yu did not take the initiative to bring her to Lancheng. Afterwards, she repeatedly allowed her to do what she wanted. She even told her the truth about Yan Xun's attack on Daxia. The deep meaning behind this is, of course, self-evident. Yan Xun entrusted this matter to her because he trusted her loyalty. Unfortunately, although Zhong Yu was loyal, her loyalty was greatly reduced when the interests of Yan Bei and Yan Xun conflicted. She understood this, and so did Yan Xun. So even though Yanbei is currently facing battles on both the Meiling Pass and the eastern front, he still sent Wu Daoya to Miss Yu's side and did not let her take power alone. Miss Yu obviously understood all of this, but was unwilling to point it out. Perhaps she really didn't mind. Compared to power, perhaps being with Mr. Wu is what makes her happier.