Yes, he was never drunk. He was always sober and clearly saw his own downfall.
Time passed in a flash, and the years were like a ruthless hand, easily drowning out the memories and vows they once had.
He looked up and saw the cenotaphs of his parents and relatives in front of him. The tall mourning hall and the majestic mausoleum covered an area of thousands of hectares, but buried inside were only a few pieces of clothing and relics from their lifetime. Their heads are still kept in the Hall of Sinners in the Holy Temple of Great Xia, and their bodies were eaten by wild wolves in the war of the troubled times.
He picked up the wine cup, and the spicy liquor slid down his throat like boiling charcoal. A low wind blew into the spacious hall, and the curtains swayed gently, like the sleeves of a woman dancing on the stage, lingering and lingering. Yan Xun's vision was still clear. He had a handsome face with a slightly sad look, thin cheeks, and there seemed to be a thick mist in his eyes. Looking closely, there seemed to be a few strands of silver hair hidden between the temples. Under the dim candlelight, they gleamed silver and looked a little aged.
In just two years, he was already so exhausted. It seemed as if his entire life had been on a wrong path, with endless forks in the road at every step. Gradually, the people around me set out on their own journeys. Although they set out at the same time, they each had their own directions.
"Father." These two words suddenly popped up in my still heart, like a stone that gently broke the calm surface of the lake, "Father, you lied to me."
Yan Xun looked up at the portrait on the altar. His father's face was lifelike. He looked at the relative whom he admired most in his childhood and said quietly, "You said that Yanbei is a paradise on earth, the freest and richest place in the world. You said that everything you did was to open up a thousand-year-old achievement for future generations. But you were wrong. You were so wrong. You destroyed Yanbei, destroyed yourself, and destroyed the entire Yan family. During those eight years in Zhenhuang, I survived because I was immersed in my trust and fantasy about you. But when I returned to Yanbei after a narrow escape from death, you don't know how disappointed I was."
Yan Xun had no expression on his face. The hall was deep and silent. He looked at his father's portrait quietly and said in a deep voice, "There are cliffs on all sides, and cold blood and frost everywhere. But you, father, have settled in a corner and built your own imaginary paradise in the cracks. Do you know how naive this idea is? That's why the emperor doesn't tolerate you, the world doesn't tolerate you, and even your subordinates betrayed you, just because you don't have such a strong power and can't do what even the emperor can't accomplish.
"Father, I killed Mr. Wu and Miss Yu because they were still carrying on your legacy and became stumbling blocks on my way forward. I gave them opportunities, but unfortunately they were unwilling to cherish them. I killed Huan Huan because Datong wanted to support her as the leader. As long as she was still there, Datong would not give up. I killed your old generals because they were short-sighted and still occupied important positions. I killed many people, and I am closer to my dream."
Yan Xun raised his head and drank a glass of strong liquor, then poured another glass, held it flat in front of him and poured it on the ground, then said slowly, word by word: "Father, I will never be like you."
Yan Xun stood tall, turned around and left, the hem of his clothes sweeping away the fine dust in the hall. He walked briskly and calmly, and every step was so firm. The candlelight shone on him, casting a long shadow on the ground. Behind him were the tablets of loyal and heroic people from Yanbei throughout the ages, including his parents, brothers, ancestors, and loyal generals who had made contributions to Yanbei, including Mr. Wu, Miss Yu, Xiaohe, Huan Huan, Bian Cang, Xi Rui, Adu, and even the generals of the Xiuli Army who died to protect Beishuo, including Wu Danyu and Feng Ting...
So many pairs of eyes watched him quietly in the candlelight as he walked out of the hall step by step, step by step away from the resting place of the dead.
His steps were so steady, without a trace of hesitation or regret.
The wind blew coldly in his face, and Yan Xun's eyes were as dark as ink. He remembered the night he left Zhenhuang. Achu went back without hesitation to rescue all the officers and soldiers of the Southwest Town who were besieged in the imperial capital. Perhaps from that moment on, he had foreseen the outcome of today. They each have different ideals and beliefs, which are irreconcilable, so they are bound to drift apart and take different paths.
The realization of any dream comes at a price.
The price he paid was that he was no longer the person she remembered.
The feeling of powerlessness gradually spread over him, but he suppressed it all without making a sound.
Ah Chu, the moment you turned and left, I knew that you were destined not to follow me in this life. You were destined to walk in the light, while I would never be able to escape from this sea of blood and corpses. I can't fly high with you, so I want to break your wings and keep you by my side. Now, I finally failed.
"Achu..." A low voice slowly sounded in the empty hall, like a wisp of white mist passing through the cold north wind. The man stood at the entrance of the hall, the cold moonlight shining on his face, which was strangely pale. He slowly closed his eyes, his expression was so calm, but his brows were slightly furrowed, and a mist-like silence rose up.
"Ah Chu...are you coming back..."
The cold moon was like frost, half of it lightly covered by clouds. It was so high and remote that even birds could hardly fly across it. He stood on the top of the mountain, his vague gaze sweeping across the entire Yanbei land. He thought quietly: Maybe she will never come back.
"Your Majesty!" Ah Jing pushed aside the guards who were trying to stop her, staggered over and knelt on the ground, saying excitedly, "Your Majesty, please save the girl. The dragon roars and the heavy snow has blocked the gate. Daxia has been under siege for many days. The girl is about to collapse."
Yan Xun said nothing. He looked at the towering mountains in front of him and seemed to be lost in deep thought.
"Your Majesty, the girl has followed you for many years, going through life and death with perseverance. Her achievements are witnessed by all of us. Your Majesty, can you really bear to kill her? Have you forgotten what you once said?" Ah Jing's eyes were red, and she kept knocking her head, saying repeatedly, "Your Majesty, please, have mercy, I beg you..."
"A Jing," Yan Xun suddenly spoke, as if he had just noticed his existence, frowned in confusion and asked, "How can I save her?"
Ah Jing was overjoyed when he heard this, and quickly said, "Open the gates of Longyin City and send troops out of the city to help..."
Before Ah Jing finished speaking, Yan Xun asked, "Do you think she will come back even if Longyin Pass is opened?"
Ah Jing was stunned for a moment, and after thinking for a long while, he murmured, "Then...then we should withdraw the defense line of the Nanjiang waterway leading to Bian Tang, open the Tangshui Pass, and let the girl go south."
"Go south?" Yan Xun's voice was so calm that no trace of emotion could be heard. He asked softly, "Does that mean she will never come back?"
Ah Jing was stunned and could no longer speak.
Yan Xun raised the corner of his mouth, smiled slightly, and whispered: "Does that mean that I will lose her forever?"
It was so cold at night that Ah Jing felt a chill all over his body. After thinking for a long time, he suddenly jumped up from where he was standing, turned around and ran, shouting as he ran: "I'm going to persuade the girl to come back!"
Yan Xun did not stop him, nor did he even look at him, he just stood there quietly. The dark clouds covered the moon and it was about to snow again. Could Achu not hold on any longer? Silly girl, why don’t you come back? He frowned and thought, like a simple young man, deceiving himself and putting aside all political factors, as if they were still quarreling and throwing tantrums when they were children, and wondered angrily, why didn't you come back? It's so cold outside.
If life were always like the first time we met, Achu, would you still choose to be entangled with me? Did you ever expect the situation you are in today? How deep is your hatred for me?
"Your Majesty," a deep voice sounded behind him. Cheng Yuan knelt there, his attitude still humble as always, "Please open the waterway and let Lord Chu go south."
Yan Xun was slightly stunned, turned around, looked at Cheng Yuan and said: "Why? Are you here to plead for her too?"
"I am not pleading for Lord Chu." Cheng Yuan said calmly, "I am pleading for Your Majesty."
He knocked his head deeply on the ground and said slowly and in a low voice: "Your Majesty, please give yourself a chance to live."
Yan Xun's heart seemed to be stabbed suddenly, and it hurt so much.
"If Lord Chu dies at your Majesty's hands, your Majesty will never be happy in your life. You once said that no matter what dream you have, you must live first. Only when you live can there be hope for everything. If you die, it will be too late."
Yan Xun was silent for a long time. The wind blew up his clothes. He stood on the top of a high mountain, like an eagle spreading its wings and ready to fly.
"Cheng Yuan, why are you saying these things? Don't you have a grudge against Ah Chu?"
"I have no grudge against Lord Chu. I offended Lord Chu before, but it was an unintentional mistake. Later, I wanted to kill her to save my own life. Now Lord Chu can no longer threaten me, and I don't want to see her die. The most important thing is," Cheng Yuan raised his head, looked at Yan Xun with sharp eyes, and said in a deep voice, "I don't want your majesty's heart to be tied down. In this world, only your majesty can make me realize my wish, and only your majesty can make me truly follow and submit. My loyalty to your majesty is to you. I will never change. Even if your majesty is guilty of the most heinous crimes and is forsaken by heaven and earth, I am willing to follow your majesty until my blood turns to ashes. If your majesty wants to kill everyone in the world, I will be the first to raise my sword; if your majesty wants to fill the East China Sea with corpses, I will be the first to chop off my head. I have been wandering for half my life, despised by the world, just because I can't find something that is truly worthy of my belief. Now, I have found it. Your majesty's hope is my belief. Therefore, I don't want your majesty to live in regret all his life. Your majesty, let her go. "
Yan Xun's thoughts suddenly became so vast. In an instant, he remembered all the past ten years, but in the end they all came together into one picture: a young child crawled out of a pool of blood, looking at the young him with eyes full of hatred. His heart ached slightly at that moment, and then his fingers gently moved and brushed along the child's neck. The strong wind blew up the child's messy hair, and from then on, he would always remember those unyielding eyes.
after all……
He slowly closed his eyes and tore himself away from that memory. All the love was cut off by him and it was bloody painful.
"Order General Qiu to open the waterway in southern Xinjiang and let them go..."
"His Majesty!"
Suddenly, a scream was heard, and the messenger staggered up the mountain along the stone steps, shouting as he ran: "Emergency signal from the border! Urgent signal from the border!"
Yan Xun and Cheng Yuan turned their heads at the same time, and saw the messenger with a panicked face. He knelt on the ground with a thud, opened the letter and reported loudly: "Qi Shaoqian, the deputy commander of Tangshuiguan in Southern Xinjiang, reported: On September 16, Tangshuiguan in Southern Xinjiang was attacked by an unknown enemy. The enemy's origin was unknown, and they suddenly appeared in Yanbei, blocking the communication and captured thirteen counties in a row. General Qiu, the commander of Tangshuiguan, was killed, and Major General All the officers of the above ranks, except me, died in the battle, and the casualties of the troops reached more than 30,000. Yesterday afternoon, Tangshui Pass was breached, and we fought the enemy in the streets. This is my last messenger and last warhorse. I hope I can rush out and report the news to Your Majesty. I will stick to my post, and even if I die in battle, it will not damage the prestige of our Yanbei army. The 50,000 soldiers of Tangshui Pass have failed Your Majesty's trust, and I kowtow and shed tears here. "