She actually cried for a man who killed her brothers and sisters and imprisoned her for many years.
She still clearly remembers that morning when the bad news reached Zhuge Mansion. Yue Shisan rushed into the gate of Qingshan Courtyard, covered in dust. Following closely behind him were the servants of the main courtyard. Before they could react, they searched the entire Qingshan Courtyard from top to bottom. Then, it was the Tongpan official of the Shangluyuan, the constable of the Dasifu, and the inspector of the Presbyterian Council. Various charges were put on the head of the man who had always been glamorous and proud, including dereliction of duty, treason, delaying military intelligence, corrupting military discipline, causing major military mistakes in the army, and even treason.
The Qingshan Courtyard, which once had a superior status over the entire Zhuge Mansion, was suddenly reduced to pieces and thrown into the bottomless abyss. The Moon Guards rushed around, appealing to Zhuge Yue’s former friends, brothers and sisters, begging them to clear his name, begging them to send troops to Yanbei, begging them to continue searching for the young master, even if it was just a corpse. However, faced with the defeat in the war, and facing the criticism and opposition from the whole country, no one was willing to lend them a helping hand, except for the Seventh Prince Zhao Che, who also lost power because of this battle. Even Wei Shuye, the young master of the Wei clan, hung a thank-you sign for them and refused to see these old subordinates who were loyal to Zhuge Yue.
Finally, even Zhao Che was exiled to the north, and Zhuge Yue's body was returned by Yanbei. Although a large ransom was paid, the Zhuge clan expelled him from their home. Zhuge Muqing personally carried out the trial of the Council of Elders in front of the city gate and whipped his son's body to show his determination to break with his son. After his death, Zhuge Yue was not allowed to enter the ancestral temple. His body was thrown into a mass grave, cursed by thousands of people, and expelled from the army. And these former female slaves of Qingshanyuan were also driven out of the mansion, sold several times, and finally fell into prostitution.
Even though so much time has passed, every night she can still think back to those early days of selling her smiles. Because she refused to comply, the brothel owner found two strong men to deflower her. They were so close to her that she could even see their yellowed teeth and smell the alcohol on their mouths. They were so strong that their palms were covered with black calluses. As soon as they stepped into the room, they couldn't wait to unbuckle their belts, letting their trousers hang at their feet, leaving their ugly things exposed.
All her struggles and requests for help were in vain. Even though she had once learned horseback riding from Zhuge Yue, the few fancy moves she had learned in such a state of resentment were completely useless under the influence of the drug. She could only watch them tear her clothes with a grin, and watch their faces getting closer and closer.
Next door to her was Lan'er from Qingshan Courtyard, and next door to her was Zhixiao, the daughter of Zhuge Yue's wet nurse. All the cries and grim laughs echoed in her ears. She thought she had become numb and strong enough after so many misfortunes. She thought she had enough courage and backbone not to beg these shameless scum. But when her lower body was pierced, when the pain swept through her body, when the tears of shame overflowed from her eyes, she still cried out the man's name like the other servants in Qingshanyuan.
She cried out, "Zhuge Yue, save me." She cursed the two men madly, saying, "Young Master will avenge me, and you will all die miserably."
However, those people just laughed indifferently, and then cruelly told her that Zhuge Yue had died long ago in Yanbei, and his body had now been eaten by hunting dogs.
At that moment, she really cried in despair. She suddenly remembered many past events. He taught her calligraphy, horse riding, the art of war, and self-defense. Sometimes he just asked her to sit next to him and do nothing. No matter how sarcastic she was, he ignored her and just drank silently, occasionally glaring at her impatiently.
He killed Lin Xi, he killed Xiao Qi, he imprisoned her for ten years, he beat her and scolded her, he and her had an irreconcilable feud. However, he had never insulted her like this. He saved her from the brink of death several times and gave her a place to settle down. Despite her embarrassing identity, despite her knowing who all this should belong to, he was indeed protecting her. When she was very young, in those turbulent years, when she was still a child with nothing, he protected her, protected her for so many years.
When she suffered the most humiliating thing in her life, she instinctively called out his name, helplessly hoping that he would come to save her.
But, he couldn't do it after all, he died, died for his sister in the ice and snow of Yanbei, died under the iron hoof of the Yanbei army.
That night, she burst into tears in despair, like a wolf cub that had lost its mother, lying on the dirty ground, her voice broken like a bellows, chilling to the bone.
But, it was only for one night. After that, unlike Zhizhuo who resolutely committed suicide, and unlike Lan'er who died of depression, she seemed to suddenly become enlightened and began to learn music, chess, calligraphy and painting, learn how to seduce men, and learn all the knowledge and skills she needed to master in this place. Since she can no longer count on others, she can only rely on herself. Since she is destined to live here for the rest of her life, she must find a way to make her life better. Since she is going to do it, she must be the most popular girl.
So, two months later, she personally designed a plan to frame the two strong men who had violated her. She watched them die in front of her eyes, and she felt indescribable joy and madness in her heart.
She thought her life would go on like this, like a pool of smelly sewage, continuing to be dirty and smelly. But, she saw him.
The day she met Zhao Song, she was boating on the lake with a wealthy businessman. The fat man in his fifties was a natural exhibitionist. He tore off her clothes in full view of everyone on the flower boat. In her panic, she accidentally scratched his face, and he was so angry that he threw her into the lake on the spot.
It was still very cold in Zhenhuang in May. The lake had just thawed and the water was extremely cold. She was wearing heavy clothes, her hands and feet were cold, and she couldn't swim, so she could only flap her wings a few times and then let herself sink little by little. The sunlight gradually moved away from her, and the world became dark and bleak. No sky or clouds could be seen, and cold water was pouring in from all directions. Her breathing became slower and slower. At the moment of death, she suddenly wondered if Zhuge Yue felt the same way when he died, with everything around him so cold and only a hint of warmth in his heart. But now, even that hint of warmth was gradually dissipating.
However, just as she was about to die, someone hugged her waist. She was pulled all the way upwards, and after an unknown amount of time, she suddenly rushed out of the water. The sun shone brightly on her, and she was coughing and gasping for breath. The excitement of coming back to life made her so happy that she wanted to cry.
Zhao Song was standing next to her, talking to his little page boy who was soaking wet. Seeing her looking at him, he just turned his head and looked at her calmly, as if he was a little surprised. He frowned slightly, then smiled in surprise and said, "What a coincidence, you look very similar to an old friend of mine."
He was clearly smiling when he said it, but she could clearly feel the loneliness and sadness in his tone, like the wild geese that were unable to fly south due to illness in the winter, their eyes were calm, but it seemed as if large tracts of wild grass had grown there, which was chilly and sad.
She was taken away by him just like that. Even though he was a poor prince, he was still a royal relative after all. She had a clean identity and the freedom she had longed for for more than ten years, but in the end, she voluntarily became a slave in the palace. After he knew it, he did not stop her, but just glanced at her indifferently and respected her choice.
In a blink of an eye, so many years have passed.
She might not be able to explain her feelings towards Zhuge Yue. After years of accumulation, under the friction of hatred and attachment, the emotions that had become deformed and broken were too complicated. She could not understand them, nor did she want to understand them. But she knew clearly her feelings for Zhao Song. There was no such thing as repaying a favor or being grateful. She just wanted to be with him, hoped that his eyes could see her, and hoped that his heart could remember her. But even this small wish cannot be fulfilled.
She fell in love with two men in her life, but both of them loved another woman, and that woman was her sister who had been very kind to her.
Fate is really ridiculous.
That's why, over the long years, she had so many complicated emotions towards the shadow in her memory that was always strong, brave and resilient, so much so that the moment she saw her, she could hardly control her reason.
But it didn't matter anymore, everything was over, she was going to follow him, and everything else had disappeared into thin air.
So what if there is a huge difference in status? So what if she's withered? So what if you have someone in your heart? She just wanted to follow him. No one and nothing could stop her, but nothing could destroy her determination to work hard for it.
She looked up. It was the first time in four years that she had worn women's clothes in front of him. It was the first time that she had put on elaborate makeup to face this noble but fallen prince. Her eyes were so bright, her features were delicate and beautiful, her mouth was wide open, shining in the sun, and she said with a smile: "I'm not making trouble, I just want to follow you."
Zhao Song refused coldly, "Why are you following me? Go back now."
Xiao Ba didn't even look at him, he just stuffed the knife into his hand and said, "Just kill me with this knife."
Zhao Song frowned and said to the servant, "Ah Jiang, get her off the carriage."
"Whatever." Xiao Ba turned around very straightforwardly, raised the documents in his hand, and said in a very cheerful voice, "Anyway, I already have a full set of clearance documents and a legal walking permit, so I am no longer a slave with restricted movements. I have money for traveling and food for horses. You can drive me away, but you can't stop me from following you. I will follow you all the way to Qianghu. If you don't want me, I will find a place to live around you. Although you are the prince of Daxia, you can't stop a law-abiding commoner from going out for fun."
She looked at him calmly, her expression comfortable, without a trace of embarrassment or uneasiness, nor any panic or helplessness. She just looked up at him, her eyes clear and her little chin showing a bit of stubbornness and resentment, like a sulking child or a willful gambler.
Zhao Song suddenly felt a little sad. Looking at her like this, it seemed that for the first time in many years, he had gotten rid of the shadow of that person and actually saw this equally stubborn and resolute girl. His voice was a little low, like the autumn wind sweeping through the dead leaves, with a hint of depression and coldness, he said calmly: "Do you know that after this departure, I will no longer be the Prince of Daxia."
Xiao Ba's heart felt as if it was suddenly cut by a knife, and it hurt so much. She looked at Zhao Song's lonely face, and there seemed to be a fire burning in her chest. But she didn't show it. Instead, she snorted indifferently and said nonchalantly: "What does who you are have to do with me? If you don't let me follow you, then forget it. I'm leaving now. At worst, I can follow you alone." After that, she turned over and was about to jump out of the car.
At this moment, a slender hand suddenly grabbed her delicate white wrist. The person's finger bones were distinct, the fingers were slender and strong, the skin was somewhat pale, and the palm was covered with calluses. Although it was his left hand, it was extremely dexterous.