I want to be a clam, using time and flesh and blood to protect my own pearls.
Late at night, it suddenly started snowing heavily. There was no wind and the snowflakes were floating in the sky like cotton wool. The plum trees in the garden bloomed overnight, their red flowers as red as blood, standing gorgeously on the branches.
Meixiang came into the palace to add charcoal at night and suddenly saw her sitting on the couch. She was startled and walked up to her slowly, calling softly, "Miss, what's wrong with you?"
Chu Qiao was wearing a white cotton nightgown, and her long hair was like black satin. She seemed a little absent-minded, and her face was pale. She shook her head slightly and said, "I'm just a little flustered."
Meixiang smiled slightly when she heard this and teased her, "The fourth young master has only been gone for two days, and you're already missing him so much that you can't sleep at night?"
Although Zhuge Yue occupied Qinghai, he still ruled as a vassal of Daxia and respected Zhao Che of the north as his master. So in terms of status, he is still a vassal king and Chu Qiao is the princess consort. Meixiang has been with them for a long time and has never changed her mind.
Chu Qiao scolded her with a smile, and Meixiang left.
The curtains were lightly rolled up, the lights were dim, and without him, the room suddenly seemed empty.
She remembered the dream she had just had. The woman in the dream had a blurry back, was slender, and had a pale face, but the smile on her lips was gentle and peaceful. She was dressed in white, standing quietly in the courtyard of green bricks and red tiles. Looking at her quietly, the snow-white pear blossoms bloomed behind her, falling one by one in the wind.
It was cold and quiet in the middle of the night. I don't know when the wind suddenly started to blow outside. The wind and snow blew the plum blossoms against the window frames, making a rustling sound.
She looked out the window quietly, and a sense of inexplicable sourness slowly arose in her heart, she didn't know why, and she didn't know for whom.
That day was the fourth day of the twelfth lunar month. Zhuge Yue had just been away for two days while he went to Gong Yue to handle military affairs. In the Lead Hall of the Xingyue Palace, Chu Qiao had a dream. She dreamed that a strange woman was standing outside her window, standing there silently for a long time before leaving.
Half a month later, Zhuge Yue returned from Gong Yue, galloping all the way, covered in dust.
Zhuge Yunzhou frowned and complained to his mother before getting off the carriage, saying aggrievedly: "Zhou'er never wants to go out with father again. It's not fun at all because we are always rushing on the road."
Li Qingrong is eight years old this year. He looks very much like his father and especially likes brightly colored clothes. His every move and gesture reminiscent of that old man. He was lazily leaning against the stone pillar in front of the palace gate, yawning continuously, his peach blossom eyes slightly raised, and he muttered, "I told you a long time ago, but you didn't believe it and insisted on going."
Chu Qiao ignored them and walked over to them. Smiling, she brushed the dust off the corner of Zhuge Yue's clothes and asked, "Was the journey difficult?"
Zhuge Yue hugged her and kissed her gently on the cheek, "Not bad."
"Alas!" Zhuge Yunzhou sighed helplessly. Seeing that no one was paying attention to him, he could only move his little arms and legs to jump off the carriage. As he got off the carriage, he shook his head and said, "The world is going downhill, and people's hearts are hard to predict. We are all relatives, but the treatment we receive is too different."
Li Qingrong pretended to be unable to bear to watch, covered his eyes with one hand, and groped his way back to the palace with the other.
That night, a grand banquet was held in Xingyue Palace. Delicacies were served like flowing water, there were beautiful songs and dances, melodious music, palace maids walked among the flowers and willows, trusted officials brought their families, and there was lively conversation and laughter in the hall, the atmosphere was full of joy. However, all of this was not as good as a look from him beside her. There was heavy snow outside the door, the plum trees were swaying, and when the wind blew, the snowflakes rolled and danced like the sleeves of a fairy from the Yaochi Fairyland.
He drank some wine and was in a good mood. When his subordinates teased him that he was traveling all night while worrying about his family, he just stared at him stubbornly like a child, with an expression of "I will definitely settle the score with you later."
That night, the banquet ended, the palace gates closed, and between the fluttering curtains, their skins were burning and they were passionate and lingering. After the clouds cleared and the rain stopped, he kissed her earlobe and whispered in her ear: "Xing'er, Queen Nalan of Zhenhuang City is gone."
Gone? Where to go? For a moment, Chu Qiao was still a little dazed, and her always delicate and transparent heart had not yet come out of the extreme warmth. She leaned in his arms, thinking dazedly: Queen Nalan? Which Queen Nalan?
"It is said that he died of a sudden illness, and it has been half a month. I was very scared when I found out about it. Thinking back to how sick you were, I couldn't wait to rush back."
Zhuge Yue spoke softly, wrapping his arms around her from behind, his chest pressed tightly against her smooth back. He held her so tightly that she could hardly breathe.
Chu Qiao's body gradually stiffened, and the cold air started from her fingertips and climbed up bit by bit, like the well water on the Yanbei Plateau in winter, which could freeze a person's nerves to death. The wind blew outside the window, making a humming sound. The branches of a plum tree swayed in front of the window, swaying gracefully, like a woman's slender waist and cloud-like hair.
She suddenly remembered the night half a month ago when she woke up from her sleep with cold sweat sticking to her body. After so many days, she has forgotten everything. She forgot the man's eyebrows, his face, and the cloud patterns on his clothes. However, she still remembered those eyes, calm and indifferent, like clouds in the sky, lightly falling on her, yet seeming to see through her and see far away.
The wind blew up the corners of her clothes, and pear blossoms fell above her head, scattering pale snow all over the ground.
They had never met before, and the only time they met in this life seemed to be that accidental glance.
The ink was messy, the flower paper was faintly fragrant, the poems were messy, and only the woman's sad tears fell drop by drop, soaking the back of the paper, spreading the thick ink, and turning into a shallow tear mark.
As fate would have it, no one saw her pain, but she, when she inadvertently looked up, saw the scars that a superior woman never showed to others.
The mountain has trees and the trees have branches, my heart loves you but you don't know it...
With a whoosh, a dark shadow passed by the window. She was suddenly startled and even her fingers became stiff.
Zhuge Yue noticed that something was wrong with her, so he hugged her in his arms, half-raised himself, and asked loudly, “What is that?”
The hurried footsteps of eunuchs could be heard outside the palace, and someone replied in a shrill voice: "My king, it was a crow flying at night."
"Tell the Archery Battalion to shoot all the flat-haired beasts nearby."
"Yes, I will do it right away."
The night wind was still blowing, Zhuge Yue hugged her and comforted her softly: "Don't be afraid, it's okay, it's just a bird."
Her eyes suddenly felt hot, she turned around and hugged his waist tightly.
He put one arm around her and patted her back with the other. He noticed something and asked in a low voice, "Xing'er, what's wrong with you?"
She buried her head in his warm embrace and said quietly, "I just feel that life is impermanent."
He said gently: "Life is unpredictable, but it doesn't mean you and me."
Chu Qiao raised her head, her dark eyes looked confused in the dark night. She frowned slightly and said, "Some things are beyond human control and God's will is hard to predict."
"I never believe in gods or Buddhas."
He smiled faintly, his eyes full of sparkling light, leaned forward, kissed the corner of her mouth, and murmured: "I will never do anything that I will regret."
Her heart seemed to have suddenly fallen into a boiling hot spring, and every part of her body felt soft. She hugged him, responding softly with her lips and teeth. Her skin was as smooth as satin, touching and rubbing lightly. Her fingers were like butterfly wings, sliding across his broad shoulders and pressing against his hard chest. She put her ears close to him, and even through her palms, she could hear the steady and strong heartbeat.
Her tears fell one by one, without any reason and without any intention to stop them.
It was snowing heavily outside the window, and she was in the warm bedroom of her home, leaning in her husband's arms. In the bedroom opposite, her son was sleeping. The world is so vast, but her world is tightly held in her hands. No matter how many storms this world throws at her, she has the courage to face all the twists and turns.
The winter in Qinghai is short and passes quickly.
Spring rain is as precious as oil and as fine as dancing cow hair. This day was an auspicious day for spring ploughing. Zhuge Yue led the entire court to the Shennong Altar. Ping An now followed Zhuge Yue to do errands. Jing Jing was bored and begged Chu Qiao to leave the palace for some fresh air.
Chu Qiao had been feeling tired these days and didn't feel like moving much, but she couldn't resist Jingjing, so she had to take Yunzhou and Rong'er out of the palace. Li Qingrong was very young, but he was extremely sleepy. He was still sleepy when he left the palace. Chu Qiao had no choice but to prepare a carriage for him, while she rode on horseback with Yunzhou and Jingjing.
Once on the mountain, everyone had to abandon their horses and walk. Li Qingrong followed behind with sighs, saying that he came to Qinghai just to have a leisurely life, but he didn't expect that he would still be destined to a life of hard work.
Jingjing was so angry that she started arguing with him, but was defeated after just a few words and had to ask Chu Qiao for help.
Chu Qiao asked with a smile, "Is the Emperor of Tang still forcing him to study government affairs all day long?"
He nodded hurriedly and sighed helplessly: "My brother said that when I am a few years older, I can take him in for a few years and let him catch his breath."
Chu Qiao knew that they had a very good relationship as brothers, so she was not surprised at the moment. She smiled and said, "It's rare that your brother has such a broad mind."
Li Qingrong curled his lips and said disdainfully: "Being an emperor is the hardest job in the world. He wants to trick me, but there is no way."
When everyone reached the top of the mountain, the sky had just cleared up. The rising sun broke through the clouds, and a big rainbow appeared, like a ribbon on the horizon.
Jingjing was so happy that she danced with joy. Zhuge Yunzhou frowned and looked at her, asking, "Mother, when will my aunt get married?"
Jingjing turned around sensitively and said fiercely: "I want you to worry about it?!"
Zhuge Yunzhou curled his lips, "Who's worried about you? I just want to have some peace and quiet."
The two were bickering. Chu Qiao turned around and saw Li Qingrong wearing a light red robe, a soft belt holding his head, and his sleeves fluttering in the wind. He was leaning against a green pine tree. Even though he was younger, his features were exactly the same as Li Ce's. His narrow eyes were like those of a fox, half-closed. When he saw her looking at him, he suddenly smiled and said, "Aunt, when will you give birth to another little sister? When Rong'er grows up, marry her to him."
Chu Qiao was stunned, then laughed and asked, "How come you suddenly thought of this at such a young age?"
“It’s not something I thought of suddenly.” Li Qingrong raised his eyebrows with a faint smile on his lips. Although he was still a child, his eyes seemed to be covered with a layer of mist that made it impossible to see through.
"I've had this idea since I was a kid. I think Rong'er was born for this purpose."
A gentle breeze blew, ruffling Li Qingrong's hair. He looked into the distance and said calmly, "Aunt, there are too many couples in this world who are resentful of each other, like my father and mother, my grandfather and grandmother, who have hated each other all their lives and will never stop until death. There are too few people like you and the king."
Suddenly, the mountain wind blew. Li Qingrong saw that Chu Qiao was wearing thin clothes, so he quickly took a cloak and ran over. Although he was small, he put the cloak on her calmly.
The young man smiled and said, "Aunt, I want a younger sister to be my wife, so you and Wang have to work hard."
Seeing such a small child making fun of her, Chu Qiao suddenly felt embarrassed. She scolded him a few words, but he still had that lazy and smiling look on his face.
The drizzle stopped, a rainbow appeared, the sun pierced through the clouds and spread a golden color all over the ground.
Half a month later, the Imperial Medical Bureau submitted a pregnancy report when they took the patient's pulse, indicating that the Princess of Qinghai was pregnant.
At the end of the same year, Xingyue Palace had another daughter, named Zhuge Yunsheng, nicknamed Zhenzhu, also known as Princess Zhenzhu.
Bian Tang's bride Wen Pin passed Cuiwei Pass in the second month. Li Qingrong intercepted them halfway on horseback and drove the envoy who brought Wen Pin's marriage contract back to Bian Tang.
The Tang Emperor Li Xiuyi wrote to him and scolded him for being crazy, but he just snorted and replied: "Why should the clam care about the pearl?"
Another child moved into the bedroom of the Qianhua Palace. Poor King Qinghai, after ending his half-year long life of abstinence, had to start the difficult journey of taking his wife away again.
The wind blows in from the pass, carrying the faint fragrance of green grass, one year goes by, and another comes. On the East China Sea in Huai Song, fishermen caught this year's new clams. Some of the clams had dazzling pearls, while others threw away their pearls.
We were all just a grain of sand, but only when we were loved by others did we become precious.
After years of polishing, it finally becomes a pearl.