He was just sitting on the bed, wearing a clean and fresh long gown. When he saw her, he smiled as usual, stretched out his hand, pointed to the chair beside him, and said, "Sit down."
She sat down in a daze, staring at him, tears welling up in her eyes, but she didn't dare to cry. She just kept biting her lips, controlling herself and not letting herself cry out loud.
"Yushu, you will have to work hard in the future." He looked at her and said this calmly. His speech was slow but clear. On the small tray, there were two old ginsengs, most of which were gone. He took a deep breath, looked at Yong'er lovingly, and said softly, "I'm not a qualified father."
Yushu was so scared. She had never been so scared in her life. She suddenly boldly grabbed her husband's arm and said foolishly, "Your Majesty, no, we can't do this."
Xuan Mo smiled, his face was pale, his eye sockets were sunken, and he was so thin that he was unrecognizable.
"Your Majesty, this cannot be done." This simple woman didn't know what else to say. She just shook her head vigorously, holding her husband's wrist tightly, and said over and over again, "No, this cannot be done."
The night wind pushed open the window little by little, and the cold candlelight was almost blown out by the wind several times. The air outside was so cold, blowing from the north, with the faint fragrance of autumn chrysanthemums.
She vaguely remembered joking and playing with her sisters when she was young, and the sisters fantasizing about their future husbands together. Some said that he wanted a top scholar with outstanding poetry and prose, some said that he wanted a general with extraordinary martial arts, and some said that he wanted a son of a distinguished family. Only she thought about it for a long time, and finally was forced into a helpless situation by her sisters, and she stammered: "As long as, as long as you are good to me, that's enough."
Just be nice to me.
She has always been such a humble person, even her own sister despises her for having no ambition, but so what? At least, she is not greedy, depressed, or complaining about everything. Her wishes are simple but easy to achieve. Her life is monotonous but more peaceful and happy.
But at this moment, she suddenly didn't want even this last bit.
She grabbed Xuan Mo's hand and said tremblingly, "Prince, the old prince is gone, please divorce me. I know that the prince doesn't like me and that he has someone else in his heart. I don't want anything now. As long as the prince is alive and as long as you are alive, it doesn't matter if you divorce me."
At that moment, all the storms seemed to stop suddenly, and the general who had returned from a hundred battles was stunned by the persistent look in this simple woman's eyes. A trace of sadness arose from the bottom of his heart. Years of stubbornness and persistence turned to ashes at this moment. Time was like a surging river, drowning all his obsessions for so many years. The ocean of guilt covered him and condensed into a sigh at the last moment of his life.
After being married for many years, he finally reached out and hugged his wife for the first time, sighing apologetically: "Yushu, I have failed you."
Yu Shu leaned in this strange embrace and was stunned for a moment.
With so much forbearance, so much self-control, so much self-comfort, and so much self-deception, she always thought that she was virtuous enough, that she was extremely loyal to her husband, and that she would never be sad or heartbroken.
But everything, in the end, completely collapsed in such a simple sentence and in such a simple hug.
It turns out that there are grievances, there are disappointments, there are desires and fantasies.
But she had been suppressing it all so deeply.
She suddenly burst into tears, her heart was broken and she couldn't make a sound.
This was the first and last time in her life that Yushu cried bitterly in her husband's arms.
After saying that, Xuan Mo passed away peacefully and calmly, like a painting in ink.
On the second day, after learning the news of Prince Xuan's death, Emperor Yan, who had originally been preparing to leave the city, temporarily changed his route and headed straight for Prince Xuan's palace. The young and stern emperor, dressed in a black robe, stood in front of Xuan Mo's spirit for a long time. All the people who came to pay their respects were so frightened that they dared not make a sound. Only he, like a stone statue, did not leave for a long time.
After that, there was a series of canonizations and honors. But, in the end, it has nothing to do with her anymore. Her heart is dead. No matter how colorful the world is, in her eyes, it is all white. The carriage moved slowly along the official road, passed through the bustling streets, walked through the lively crowds, exited the city gate of Zhenhuang, and headed southeast. The noisy sounds gradually faded away. The green mountains were covered with snow, the wild grass was swaying, and the sky was gray. Occasionally, a stray goose flew by, uttering a sad cry and quietly passing through the sky.
Yong'er leaned in Yushu's arms, drowsy. The carriage was warm and the cotton curtains were thick, blocking out the cold outside. Yushu held the child in his arms, patting his back gently, and unconsciously humming a nursery rhyme he had heard in his childhood. Time passed slowly, but the road under his feet seemed particularly long.
"Princess, there is a tea shop in front. Would you like to come down and take a rest?" Jiang Wu followed the carriage with the guards of Prince Xuan's Palace. He was wearing a low-key gray mink coat. He came over and asked while rubbing his hands.
The curtain moved slightly, and a cold wind blew in his face. Yu Shu frowned, looked up at the sky, and said, "Let's hurry up. I think it's going to snow today. Don't get stuck on the road."
"Yes." Jiang Wu agreed, and then said, "Hongchuan is a cold place. If we were Huai Song, the lotus flowers would not have withered at this time."
"Mother?" Yong'er rubbed his eyes, his face flushed. The wind blew and he became more energetic. He wrinkled his nose and asked, "Are we there yet?"
Yu Shu glanced outside, then nodded and said, "We're almost there."
Yushu had not been to many places in his life. The first time he left home was when he came from Huaisong to Zhenhuang. He traveled thousands of miles, following tens of thousands of royal nobles from Huaisong, leaving their hometown and coming to this cold and unfamiliar land.
To put it nicely, the situation at that time was that Huai Song obeyed the will of heaven, surrendered to Dayan, and became a vassal of Dayan. However, everyone knew that apart from the eldest princess Nalan Hongye, the only members of the Huaisong Nalan clan were a few daughters left by the late emperor and a dying little emperor, and the incense could not continue. This so-called prince is nothing more than a decoration. A hundred years after the eldest princess passed away, Huaisong was eventually given the surname "Yan".
However, it might be a good result to get such a result. Among the Three Kingdoms at that time, Huai Song had the smallest land area, even less than one-tenth of Daxia. Although it was close to the coast and had developed commerce, it lacked necessary military equipment such as iron ore and war horses, and its military power had always been at the bottom among the Three Kingdoms. Because of the checks and balances between Bian Tang and Da Xia, Huai Song was able to stand firm in the cracks for a hundred years. Once the Da Xia or Bian Tang regime collapsed, the first thing the victor would do was to attack Huai Song.
During the turbulent times of that year, the internal political power of Huai Song was unstable, the territory of Bian Tang was divided into two, the state institutions collapsed, Da Xia was torn apart, the civil war continued, and the Yanbei cavalry went out of the pass and swept across the Central Plains. Huai Song had no ability to maintain the Three Kingdoms situation, no army to take advantage of the opportunity to occupy other countries' territories, and no stable local regime. Under the circumstances at the time, there was basically no other way to go except to rely on Yanbei. Facts have also proved that the princess' strategy was indeed wise. Even though the country became a vassal, the people and officials of Song were hardly affected by the war, and the royal family and the court suffered no losses. The officials of Song also had a very high status in the new dynasty, far from being like the remnants of Daxia, who were at the last level of the empire.
The people don't care who is the emperor. As long as they have clothes to wear, food to eat and land to farm, no one will care whether their boss's surname is Yan or Nalan. However, there are still some people who cannot accept it. Yushu still remembers the day when he left Huaisong. Many scholars ran to the front of the royal convoy to stop it. After being scolded by the soldiers, some even poured oil on themselves and set them on fire, dying.
To this day, Yushu still remembers that scene clearly: the fire was burning fiercely and the man was screaming and calling out King Xuan's name. Others also fell to the ground and cried, saying that if Prince Xuan were still alive, he would never let the country be handed over to ignorant women and children.
In the blink of an eye, so many years have passed. Now under the governance of Dayan, such voices have gradually subsided, and the man who was once regarded as a savior by the people of Song Dynasty is mentioned less and less. Even on his death anniversary, only they, an orphan and a widow, would leave the city early in the morning and travel dozens of miles to pay their respects.
After half a day's ride, we finally arrived at Yanxi Mountain. The mountain here is too steep for a carriage to go up. Yushu, wearing a white fur cloak, pulled Yong'er out of the car. The servants carried a sedan chair and she sat on it. The sedan chair swayed and climbed up the stone steps step by step.
Because the snow was so thick, the servants walked very slowly. Yong'er became lively now. He lifted the curtain of the sedan chair and looked out curiously from time to time.
There is a temple halfway up the mountain, which looks very dilapidated. Yushu once rested here when he went up the mountain. There were only a dozen monks inside, most of them very old. Because of the remote geographical location, there were few pilgrims, so the place always looked deserted. The entrance was covered with snow and no one cleaned it.
She looked out the window and saw rows of lush and green pines, which made her feel a little sad.
Another year has passed.
"Princess, we're here. The road ahead is narrow and the sedan chair can't pass through."
Yu Shu nodded, took Yong'er out of the car, told the other guards to wait here, and only took Jiang Wu with him, carrying paper money and incense, and took Yong'er to the mountain.
The higher we went up the mountain, the stronger the wind became, and it hurt a little on our face. She protected Yong'er behind her and walked up step by step. Suddenly, a strong wind blew past my ears, and a dark shadow rushed out from the woods next to me like lightning. Jiang Wu immediately drew his sword and protected Yu Shu. However, before he could unsheathe his sword, two swords were already placed across his neck.
"Who is it?" the other party shouted in a low voice.
Yushu’s face turned pale and he quickly covered Yonger’s eyes. Unexpectedly, Yong'er was very bold. He pulled down his mother's hand and shouted confidently, "I am the prince of Xuanwang Mansion, this is my mother, and we are here to worship my father. Who are you? Are you robbers? Aren't you afraid of being beheaded?"
The child's voice was as clear as pearls falling on a jade plate, and echoed in the woods with the whistling wind. Yushu was so scared that he pulled Yonger back and held him tightly in his arms.
Unexpectedly, the robbers looked at each other, put away their swords, and the leader stepped forward, bowed his head and said politely: "It turns out to be Princess Xuan and His Royal Highness. I'm sorry, please wait here for a moment, Princess."
After saying that, he took off and landed a few times and then went far away.
After a while, the man came back and said, "Princess, please."
Yu Shu looked at them suspiciously, but Jiang Wu seemed to understand something and didn't dare to say much. He just nodded to Yu Shu, indicating that she didn't need to be afraid.
The floor paved with white marble is very flat. From a distance, it looks like a huge, smooth mirror. The sky is so close that it seems I can reach the clouds with my hand. The wind blows from all directions, lifting the hem of my clothes from below. The sky was full of flying snow, whistling and swirling. At first glance, it looked like a thick fog that looked like milk.
Yu Shu half-squinted his eyes and looked forward, only to see a figure standing in the wind and snow. He was wearing a black cloak with his hood up, covering his head and face. The mountain wind blew, making a humming sound. Heavy snow swirled around him, isolating him from the whole world. All he could see was a lonely figure, like a towering pine tree, so tall that it seemed to be able to hold up the entire world.
Even though he couldn't see his face clearly, Yushu knelt down immediately, pulled Yong'er beside him, and said in her low voice: "Your Highness."
Yan Xun turned his head, and his icy gaze softened slightly after seeing her. He smiled faintly, and his smile was a little stiff. It was not known whether it was because the weather was too cold or because he had forgotten how to smile for such a long time. He nodded quietly and said, "You're here."
Yan Xun didn't ask him to stand up, and Yu Shu didn't dare to move. His heart was pounding, and he replied nervously, "Yes."
"Get up, don't let Xuan Mo think that I am bullying his wife in front of him."
His words were spoken very casually, but Yu Shu's legs went weak after hearing them. She nodded hesitantly, stood up, and walked forward with Yong'er, standing ten steps behind Yan Xun. I saw flags and candles burning high in front of Xuan Mo's spirit, spiritual incense swirling, and black paper money dancing all over the ground in the wind, like a string of black butterflies.
Yan Xun did not say anything either, but just stepped aside casually, leaving the open space in front of the mausoleum. Yushu walked forward tremblingly with the child, lit incense, raised flags, and burned paper. The white paper was swallowed up by the flames little by little and turned into black ash. His pale cheeks were as red as blood in the light of the fire. His stiff fingers were slowly warmed, but he still maintained a stiff posture. Little by little, he poured all the paper money into the raging fire.
"Father, Yong'er is here to see you." Yong'er knelt on the ground obediently, kowtowed three times, and then said seriously, "I have done very well in my studies this year. Mr. Lu has praised me three times. I have learned a lot of words and learned to ride a horse. Uncle Jiang gave me a pony. It is black with a wisp of white hair on its nose. It is very beautiful." The child chattered. As he spoke, his words were filled with the innocence of a child. His voice was soft, but he pretended to be serious like an adult, and frowned, looking very cute. "Father, it's getting cold, you must remember to wear more clothes, and remember to wear the cotton-padded clothes that my mother and I made for you. You are alone here, so you must learn to take care of yourself and don't get sick. I will take care of my mother for you, so don't worry."