The rain outside was getting heavier, and it blew open a corner of the window with a loud noise. The cold wind blew up her black clothes, just like when she was a child sitting on a swing wrapped in wisteria, and her nostrils were filled with the light fragrance of the lavender flowers. The wind blew past her ears, lifting the corners of her skirt and her hair. The palace maid pushed her hard and she flew high into the air. The sky is so close that I can touch it with my hand. The clouds are white, just like the cattle and sheep beyond the Great Wall that my mother often talks about. The shouts of my brothers practicing martial arts in the Shangwu Hall are like layers of ocean waves, echoing clearly and loudly in my ears.
The sunshine was so warm at that time, and the air was filled with joy. She was so small and young, and her eyes were as clear as the water in the sea. She stretched her legs straight, and as the swing swung back and forth, her eyes flew out along the high wall, over the red walls and golden tiles, over the numerous palaces, all the way to the black-painted wooden door. She saw him standing in the courtyard, his brows were cold and his eyes were deep. The wind blew through the corners of his clothes, and then he looked like he was about to fly away, and even his face seemed to be covered with a layer of smoke. The fog grew thicker and thicker, until it was finally covered by layers of time and could no longer be found.
"Master Shuixiang, the emperor is calling you, Master Shuixiang?"
The consul eunuch called out to her anxiously, but she did not move at all. Yan Xun's face was lost in the lingering agarwood. Following the drifting white mist, he looked at her back in black clothes and suddenly seemed to understand.
Yan Xun looked at her for a long time, then asked quietly, "Your name is Shui Xiang?"
She didn't answer, nor did she turn around, but just stood there silently.
Yan Xun asked again: "Do you live in Taiji Temple?"
She did not answer. The hall was eerily quiet. The candlelight shone on her, casting a long shadow on the ground. She was so thin that she seemed like she would fall to the ground with the slightest touch.
Yan Xun's frown gradually relaxed. He looked at her silently, his gaze so long that it went through all the grudges. Finally, he said calmly, "Go."
It was as if a mouthful of cold water suddenly poured into his chest. Shui Xiang's throat became increasingly tighter as he choked. The fingers hanging on both sides trembled slightly. He tried several times but was unable to make a fist. All that obsession, all that shame, all that hatred that had been gnawing at her heart and lungs like a borer day and night, suddenly dissipated in just one simple sentence. Her heart, which had been forcibly pieced together with resentment over the years, was shattered in an instant, feeling so empty, so painful, and so cold.
"Master Shuixiang, the emperor wants you to leave, go now!"
The eunuch consul, who had been in the palace for a long time and had become quite shrewd, also sensed something unusual and hurriedly urged them in a low voice. Shui Xiang let out a breath silently, raised his foot and walked out slowly.
The candlelight flickered in the hall. Yan Xun seemed to be upset. He waved away his servants and sat down in front of the desk that he had just tidied. He lowered his head and reviewed the remaining memorials. The red pen made a soft sound as it scratched across the bright yellow paper. The wind blew, lifting the corner of Shui Xiang's gray and white robe, revealing a pair of cloth shoes underneath. Her steps were calm and graceful, even the concubines who had been in the palace for many years were inferior to her.
The eunuch opened the door, and the slanting wind blew cold rain onto his body, making him bone-chilled. Shui Xiang stepped one foot out of the palace door, with half of his shoulder exposed outside the door. She should have left, and she should have left, but for some reason, she suddenly stopped, and just stayed there, unable to take another step.
The eunuch consul raised his eyebrows, took a step forward, took her arm and said, "Let's help the master walk." After that, he helped her walk out without saying anything.
The young eunuch in the main hall came forward immediately to close the door. Shui Xiang was obediently supported by the eunuch in charge, with her head slightly lowered. The night wind blew and blew away her veil in an instant. The eunuch consul let out an "ouch", then let go of her and bent down to pick it up. She turned sideways, turned her eyes slightly, and looked inside through the crack in the open door. In the dim light and shadow, he sat there alone, without looking up, but his pen paused.
As the palace door closed inch by inch, she vaguely remembered so many things, so many things that she had forgotten for a long, long time. They were young and bright back then, they were all still innocent and young, and the days were like mountain streams, flowing joyfully through those bright and lively days.
It had been so long... so long that she hadn't remembered it, so long that she thought she had forgotten it.
However, at this moment, as she stood here, those memories were like a mountain torrent in midsummer, instantly shattering the sealed barrier in her memory.
At that time, Daxia was at its peak. My father was in good health and my brothers were still young. Even though they occasionally fought, they were full of childish innocence and joy.
But at that time, her eyes were too pure and her thoughts were too simple. She could not see the white bones buried under the dazzling golden palace, nor the blood-stained blades covered under the colorful brocade. Even the rumbling of war drums, which were getting more and more urgent, was drowned out by the music and singing in the deep palace. She lived in her own world, deceiving herself, and fantasizing that one day she would marry him in a royal bridal gown, and then follow him, take care of him, believe in him, and listen to him for the rest of her life.
If life were always like our first meeting, would there be no swordplay and evil entanglements later?
After all, who is wrong?
"Master Shuixiang, your veil."
Shui Xiang turned around, and the eunuch consul was suddenly stunned. Although she had never seen the true face of Master Shui Xiang before, she only covered her mouth and nose, not her eyebrows and eyes. However, in just a short while, she seemed to have suddenly aged twenty years. Her eyes were full of wrinkles, her temples were as white as snow, and her eyes in particular were no longer as calm and profound as when we first met. Instead, they were full of vicissitudes, and were as lonely and desolate as a handful of dead ashes.
"Thank you." Shui Xiang took the veil from the eunuch consul and no longer wore it. He turned around and walked out of the palace without anyone showing him the way. He was as familiar with the place as if it were his own garden.
With a bang, the heavy palace door was finally completely closed. The sound of wind rustled like a bird crying at night, flying over the dome of Shengjin Palace. A young eunuch holding an umbrella caught up with them. The eunuch in charge came to his senses and hurriedly chased after her, only to see Shui Xiang's thin figure walking slowly in the long Yong Lane. The night fog was thick and the rain was hitting her shoulders, like a lonely ghost.
This day was the fourth day of the ninth month of the fourteenth year of Kaiyuan, and the ninth day of the twelfth month of the same year. A fire broke out in Taiji Temple in the east of the imperial capital. The fire raged for a day and a night, and the entire temple was burned down.
That night, the commander of the Jingji Imperial Guard, A Jing, came to the palace with a secret report. Yan Xun was having dinner at the time. After A Jing knelt down and bowed, he said in a deep voice, "Master Shui Xiang of Taiji Temple is gone."
Yan Xun raised his eyebrows and asked, "Dead?"
"No, he left."
Yan Xun said "Oh" indifferently, lowered his head and continued to drink his porridge, and asked: "You haven't eaten yet?"
Ah Jing wanted to say that he had eaten, but he felt that he could not deceive the emperor, so he answered honestly: "I just came from the secondary capital and have not eaten yet."
Yan Xun said casually: "Sit down and eat together."
Ah Jing hurriedly said, "I dare not."
Yan Xun did not force it and ordered the palace maid to set up another table for him. Ah Jing sat on a small stool nearby and ate half a bowl of porridge. Seeing that he had finished eating, Yan Xun ordered him to leave. Ah Jing was puzzled and finally asked in a low voice: "Your Majesty, don't you want to know where she went?"
Yan Xun said calmly: "No need to know."
"Don't we need to continue to send people to monitor her?"
The incense burner was filled with smoke. A palace maid in rain-green palace dress stepped forward and grabbed a handful of golden spices and sprinkled them into the golden burner.
Yan Xun was silent for a moment, and finally said in a calm tone: "No need."
After Ah Jing finished speaking, she regretted her words and knelt down before leaving the hall.
The hall was pitch black, but outside was a blanket of snow that reflected the bright moonlight, making everything around look pale white. However, there was always an irremovable darkness that lingered stubbornly in the shadows in the corners.
The lights in the hall flickered and then went out. The chief eunuch of the Internal Affairs Bureau came out, bent over, and the eunuch of the Tongshiguan who was waiting nearby came up to him and asked, "Which lady are you summoning tonight?"
"I won't summon anyone." The chief eunuch put his index finger and thumb together, making a gesture that the emperor was in a bad mood, "The emperor has already gone to bed."
The hall was as quiet as water. Yan Xun lay on the dragon couch and closed his eyes.
The night is so long.