Although the Buddha is selfless, those who seek him have desires. If it weren't for inner turmoil, why would people prostrate themselves before the Buddha for so long?
The old lady knelt, her hands twirling jade prayer beads. She had once believed, in her youth, that offering priceless treasures to Buddha would grant her wishes. But as she aged, she realized that only sincerity could earn Buddha's favor.
After she finished bowing to the Buddha, she got up and left the Buddhist hall before answering Li Mama's question, "If Yan Ning knew she was pregnant, she would do everything in her power to protect the child no matter what dangers might arise in the future!"
The old lady stared intently at the blood-red plum blossoms in the snow outside the curtain, her hands tightly gripping the prayer beads. As if realizing she was being disrespectful to the beads, she quickly loosened her grip and uttered, "Amitabha!"
On the way back, Yan Ning's hand was held by Fu Kang'an the whole time.
She spoke cautiously, "Fukang'an, will the Empress Dowager treat Aunt An the same way she treated me?"
Fukang'an stopped in his tracks, paused for a moment, then looked at Yan Ning with warm affection in his eyes, "It's not what you think, I'm just going to the palace to pay my respects!"
Knowing that Fukang'an wouldn't tell her his thoughts, Yan Ning still sighed softly and let him pull her back to Jiangongzhai.
When they encountered Diecui picking up her meal, Fukang'an released Yan Ning's hand and was about to open the food box, but then remembered that it was the dead of winter and he was afraid the food would get cold. So he carefully questioned Diecui about everything from the porridge to the pastries.
Every word was carefully chosen, and Diecui couldn't contain her impatience. Instead, she showed a delighted expression as she broke down what could have been a single, straightforward answer into several parts.
Having been delayed for half a day, Fukang'an worried that the food in the food box would get cold, so he told Diecui that from now on, whenever Aunt An wanted to eat something, she could just go to the kitchen and ask Chef Wu for a private meal. Only then did he let Diecui leave.
When he turned back to look for Yan Ning, he saw that she had already walked a few steps. Fukang'an took a few big strides to catch up with Yan Ning, but no longer held her hand, and walked with her at varying distances.
Upon returning to Jian Gong Zhai, Fukang'an sat in the main seat of the hall and ordered his men to replace all the sandalwood incense in the main room with lily incense. Later, feeling that this was not appropriate, he ordered his men to fetch some melons and fruits and place them near Yan Ning's bed in the inner room.
Yan Ning saw the maids rushing in and out anxiously under Fukang'an's unpredictable orders. Ju Xiang took Fukang'an's robe and stood aside, but Fukang'an showed no intention of changing his clothes. She hung her head, not knowing what to do.
She sighed and dismissed Juxiang. Fukang'an's demeanor didn't suggest he intended to linger at Jianguozhai. She wasn't bothered; in fact, she thought she could investigate at Furong Garden later.
Yan Ning removed the cloak that had caught the chill and leaned against the warm couch, flipping through the pages of "The Palace of Eternal Life" that Ju Xiang had brought back from the Fu residence. The book had no separators; each sentence had to be interpreted by the reader. Yan Ning carefully turned the pages, not understanding the meaning of each word, but she grasped the emotions between the lines, and couldn't help but feel sorrowful, her makeup damp with tears.
Zhu Xiang removed the short-legged table, took two brocade quilts, one for the back of the mattress and one for the body, and let Yan Ning lie down fully clothed.
The maids continued to come and go, stopping the incense burner and shoveling away the ashes. Then a servant came in and carried the incense burner out. Fearing that the incense dust from the burner might fly onto Yan Ning, Zhu Xiang ordered someone to bring two pearl-white gauze screens to cover the warm couch where she was resting.
The gauze curtains were made of fine silk, densely packed, seemingly transparent yet completely opaque. On a pearly white background, one curtain was embroidered with peonies in delicate pink silk thread, with butterflies fluttering among the stamens, their pink wings clearly visible, lifelike. The other curtain was embroidered with chrysanthemums in gold thread, reflecting the chrysanthemum's character, adorned only with green leaves, devoid of any distractions.
When Yan Ning got tired of reading, she looked at the screen for a while, then closed the book and covered her face, thinking about the lines from the play.
Since Fukang'an's voice was no longer heard in the hall, Yan Ning guessed that he had left. She abandoned the opera and shamelessly covered her face with the floral brocade quilt covering her body and burst into tears.
I've been here for two years, but I've lived in constant anxiety. Even if I have a husband, he's someone else's husband. Only when I'm carrying my own flesh and blood will he truly be mine.
But in the future, when will she return to her original homeland? She can abandon Fukang'an, but what about her own flesh and blood? She can neither take them with her nor abandon them. She doesn't know when she will return; how will she endure these long days?
With Fukang'an by her side, her heart could finally find peace. But how could she allow herself to be left alone when her husband was by her side?
She cried for a long time, and the only sound she heard was her own sobbing. Yan Ning couldn't help but feel suspicious. Normally, Zhu Xiang would have already stepped forward to comfort her. But today…
Yan Ning removed the floral brocade from her face. She had been facing the window, but when she turned around, she saw Fukang'an sitting beside her, reading the play she had discarded.
He had already changed into a long robe, a silver-white robe with faint embossed patterns, and only a round jade pendant hung at his waist, adorned with dense tassels and held together by a dark green jade bead. His attire today was extremely simple, even his jade belt was silver-white, which Yan Ning could only see clearly after she stood up. His head was lowered, and Yan Ning could only see his profile, with its sharp, Kunlun-jade-like features, exuding both grandeur and refinement.
Seeing Yan Ning get up and casually toss aside the play she was holding, Fukang'an reached out to wipe away her tears. "What a sentimental young lady! She's actually crying her eyes out over a play!" he said, his tone devoid of any coldness.
Yan Ning thought he must be able to understand the content of the play, yet he remained unmoved. Considering the countless lives he had taken, how could he possibly be sentimental?
Today, Fukang'an's careful instructions to Diecui lingered in Yan Ning's ears, and she couldn't help but wonder if Wu Chun, such a delicate and poetic woman, would change her appearance when he was with her.
Yan Ning turned her face away, dodging Fu Kang'an's outstretched hand. He wasn't annoyed; instead, he pulled Yan Ning, who was trying to leave the warm bed, into his arms.
Unable to move from her grasp, Yan Ning could only sob out, "Wu Chun isn't that kind of woman. Why don't you go to her?"
Her words seemed to remind Fukang'an, and he released his grip on Yan Ning's hand. He helped her sit up, frowned, and sighed softly, "The food is already warm on the stove!" Then he pulled up his robe and left.
Yan Ning was suddenly released and felt a cold wind blowing directly on her body. After Ling Zhuxiang lowered the curtain on the crystal curtain, she still felt a cold wind whistling through her, so she was told to lower the curtain again.
Zhu Xiang glanced at the hanging curtains and looked worriedly at the absent-minded Yan Ning.
The day Yan Ning saw Fukang'an again was the day the women of the Fucha family went to the palace to pay their respects to the Empress Dowager. The cold moon hung high, coldly illuminating the two lanterns, each the size of a water vat, in front of the mansion gate. It was unclear who had offended whom, but both lights exuded a chilling aura that cut to the bone.
Yan Ning was waiting in front of the mansion gate early in the morning. When she saw Fukang'an helping Wuchun to come gracefully, she murmured to herself, "A day apart feels like three autumns. If I don't see her for three days, won't my beauty have aged?"
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
