Chapter 17 Brother, can you stay with me...?
"Vast and distant."
With nowhere to hide, Yu Tan trembled like a quail buried in a brocade quilt, shouting, "Get out...get out...don't come any closer!"
Yu He'an had considered countless reasons why Yu Tan wouldn't come, but he never expected it to be like this.
Yu Tan curled up in a ball with her back to him, trying to hide herself. Her soft nightgown clung to her thin body, and her shoulder blades trembled slightly.
Yu Tan had been pampered in the Marquis's mansion since childhood, and he had never seen her like this before. His heart was gripped by an invisible hand, and his breathing became a little rapid.
Lanxin explained softly, "It seems that my lady is having a nightmare. She's been like this ever since she returned to the manor. We've tried everything, and I had no choice but to..."
"Yaoyao." Yu He'an knelt down and cornered Yu Tan. "Yaoyao, don't be afraid, it's me."
Yu Tan looked up at Yu He'an, then lowered her head again, murmuring, "Ah, brother."
"It's me, don't be afraid." Yu He'an gently put his arm around her, patting her back helplessly.
"Brother, you're not going to scold me again." Yu Tan tried to back away, but her back was already against the wall.
She had no way out.
"I won't scold you," Yu He'an said, trying to soften her tone.
Yu Tan felt helpless and aggrieved: "You scolded me for not knowing etiquette and for forgetting all sense of propriety, righteousness, integrity, and shame."
Yu He'an's patting of her back froze: "I wouldn't have scolded you like that. It was my fault. I was wrong that day; I shouldn't have ignored your explanation. The roads were slippery in the snow, and it's inevitable to fall. I was just worried about you..."
"Brother." Yu Tan suddenly buried herself in Yu He'an's arms, hugging his waist tightly with both hands and pressing her face against his chest.
"It's my fault." He could see Yu Tan's fair ear tips and neck. Just like when she was a child, she relied on him wholeheartedly. When Yu Tan was sick as a child, she wished she could turn the Marquis's mansion upside down and make him do many things that he would not agree to on ordinary days. "Why did you hide your illness?"
She buried her face in Yu He'an's chest and whispered a complaint: "You always think I'm a nuisance, so I'm not going to tell you."
Yu He'an said helplessly, "Why would you think that?"
Yu Tan hastily wiped away the tears welling up in her eyes, and when she looked up, the corners of her eyes were flushed red.
“Back then, my brother argued with me because he thought it was too much trouble for me to always insist on buying candied fruit.”
Yu He'an gently stroked the ends of her hair and whispered, "No."
"Why did my brother never come to see me during the two years I was in Yuyang?"
His outer robe was slightly damp, and though his heart was a raging sea, he couldn't utter a single word.
Why not go? The stubbornness of youth prevented him from bowing his head to trivial matters. He always felt that it would only take a few days for Yu Tan's anger to subside. After all, her temper came and went quickly.
When he finally figured it out, he found that Yu Tan had a new playmate and everything was fine. His older brother seemed superfluous.
"My brother must think I'm a nuisance. He must be so happy to see that Grandmother took me to Yuyang." Yu Tan felt extremely wronged. She had been waiting for Yu He'an to come to her, but he never did.
She fed so many fish to death at the old house in Yuyang that she killed them. When Madam Song scolded her for committing such a heinous crime, she went to feed the fish in the stream.
"It was my fault."
Yu He'an readily admitted his mistake, which made Yu Tan's momentum falter. She said aggrievedly, "Then if I do something wrong in the future, can you please not scold me?"
The pain of being disliked and insulted by one's closest relatives is ten thousand times greater than that inflicted by outsiders.
I won't scold you.
Yu Tan whispered, "They'll probably do a lot of stupid things."
Yu Tan lowered her head: "Can I choose not to get married?"
Yu He'an froze, unable to give a reply for a moment.
Marriage is an inevitable part of life for men and women when they reach a certain age; it is a common path that everyone takes.
Are there any women in this world who never marry?
Of course there are; even if you become a nun, you still have to endure a lot of gossip.
Yu He'an glanced helplessly at Yu Tan, whose expression was downcast and whose eyelashes were still misty.
What is there to fear from rumors? With the Marquis's mansion and him here, Yu Tan simply doesn't want to get married. She hasn't done anything heinous, so why can't she?
Besides, could he really tolerate Yu Tan's relationships with other men being closer than with him?
The scene of Yu Tan and Chu Minglang embracing intimately flashed through his mind. His fingers twitched incessantly, but he dared not place them on Yu Tan's waist, and could only hold them up helplessly.
But a lifetime is too long, and there are too many variables.
He only wanted Yu Tan to live a happy life, following the simplest and happiest path.
"Don't talk nonsense."
The cold words, one by one, struck her, and her heart turned cold.
If the request was too unreasonable, Yu He'an would firmly refuse her. Her eyes darkened. "I understand, brother."
After hugging for a while, Yu Tan's fear subsided considerably, but then she realized she had gotten too close and let go.
"Can you tell me what's making you so scared?"
On one hand, she desperately wanted to tell Yu He'an the truth and try to confide in someone about her inner suffering. On the other hand, she dared not say that if she were not Yu He'an's sister, she would not have his indulgence.
"Don't want to talk about it?"
Yu Tan nodded.
Yu He'an softened her tone, with a hint of coaxing, "Tell me and I'll help you."
Yu Tan mumbled, "I just had a nightmare."
Why would a nightmare last for five days? Yu He'an pursed his thin lips and said helplessly, "Yaoyao."
In terms of strength and status, if Chu Minglang was truly involved, Ji Yushang would be no match for him at all. Therefore, it is more likely that Chu Minglang was the one who imprisoned her.
Facing Yu He'an's concerned gaze, Yu Tan said, half-truthfully, "I dreamt that I married Chu Minglang. After the marriage, he took me back to Lingnan, but he treated me badly and then took a concubine. I was all alone there, and life was very difficult. No one helped me..."
She stared intently at Yu He'an; the situation in her dream was a thousand times more painful than she had described.
As long as the Marquis's mansion exists, Chu Minglang cannot really do anything to Yu Tan. However, living in the inner quarters, the coldness in the relationship between husband and wife, the competition for favor among concubines, and the distance to Lingnan—can the Marquis's mansion's accumulated prestige really reach them?
"Lingnan is indeed too far away..."
And if Yu Tan really leaves, we may only be able to see him once a year during the Lunar New Year.
The number of times we'll meet in this lifetime can be counted on one hand.
Yu He'an got up and tucked her in. As he left, he waved his sleeve in front of her. She mustered her courage and grabbed the sleeve, pleading softly, "Brother, could you stay with me... I just want to sleep a little longer..."
Yu He'an's Adam's apple bobbed, his eyes darkened slightly. After Yu Tan's nightmare in her childhood, he was always the one who stayed by her side.
But they have all grown up now. Yu Hean remained silent for a long time before getting up and leaving.
Yu Tan shrank back under the covers in disappointment, only to see Yu He'an return, lifting the gauze curtain with a cup of hot tea in his hand.
Yu He'an placed the hot tea in her hand, and she took a small sip, which relieved her burning throat.
"Go to sleep, I'll stay here with you."
Yu Tan buried herself deeper into the blanket, leaving only her bright eyes visible. She stared at Yu He'an, as if confirming whether he would leave. "One hour will be fine."
"Sleep peacefully."
Sleepiness quickly crept in, and Yu Tan murmured to herself, "Just one hour of sleep will do, just one hour will do."
Before long, he drifted off to sleep.
He slept a long and deep sleep, as if he were making up for all the fatigue of the past few days.
When Yu Tan opened her eyes again, she felt refreshed after catching up on her sleep. The nightmares that had plagued her for five days had not returned, and her headache had disappeared.
It was still bright outside. Yuhe sat on a low stool under the canopy bed, resting her elbows on the edge of the bed and propping her head up as if she were dozing.
Yu Tan gently patted her chest, relieved that she hadn't slept for long.
Yu He'an woke up as soon as she moved, her eyes still blurry.
"Brother."
"Hmm." Yu He'an rubbed her temples, knowing from her expression that she had emerged from the nightmare. "Are you feeling better?"
"I feel much better, my head doesn't hurt anymore." A good night's sleep makes me feel good.
"Don't hide it next time." Yu He'an lowered his eyelashes and stared at her, but this time Yu Tan felt that Yu He'an's eyes were not indifferent but indulgent.
"I understand." Yu Tan moved slightly and realized that she was still holding onto Yu He'an's sleeve. The lone crane embroidered with silver thread was wrinkled from her grip. She quickly let go and smoothed out the sleeve, but the wrinkles were already there, and it could no longer be as smooth as usual.
After confirming that she was alright, Yu He'an returned to his courtyard, where Lan Xinqiao carried in a copper basin.
Qiaoxin pulled the gauze curtains back up, letting the sunlight stream in. "My lady, are you feeling better? Shall we wash up?"
"I was just scared by a nightmare, nothing serious, I'm all better now."
Lanxin wrung out the handkerchief, and Yutan got up from the bed and walked to the dressing table.
The woman in the mirror had disheveled hair, with some loose strands falling to her chest. Her eyes looked tired, and her lips were pale. The collar of her begonia-colored nightgown was slightly open, revealing her long, slender neck, which was as pale as her face.
If you add two lines of blood and tears, she can dress up as a female ghost in broad daylight and scare a bunch of children to death.
"Have I been looking like this for the past few days?"
Qiaoxin gently comforted her, "Illness is inevitable, my wife, don't be sad."
Lanxin shook her head: "My lady, don't look at this. It looked even worse a few days ago. It almost scared me to death."
Yu Tan could no longer laugh; all she wanted to do was slap the powder box over Lan Xin's face and paint a colorful mess.
Qiaoxin whispered, "Granny Chang is here again."
Yu Tan paused, holding the willow comb, and asked anxiously, "Didn't Granny Chang just come before my afternoon nap? Why is she here again? What happened to Grandmother?"
Lanxin said, "My lady, that was yesterday."
“Yesterday!” Yu Tan exclaimed, dropping her peach wood comb to the ground. “Then I slept for a whole day and night.”
Lan Xin and Qiao Xin nodded in unison, like chicks pecking at rice.
Yu Tan recalled the sleeves that Yu He'an had gripped so tightly that they were all wrinkled. Yu He'an hadn't been taking a nap at all; she had clearly been watching over her for a whole day and night.
Qiaoxin said, "Madam, the old lady is waiting for you to have lunch."
Just yesterday we said we'd be going to Hexiang Courtyard this morning, so Yu Tan quickly got ready. She specially chose a rose-colored jacket and skirt, with rose patterns embroidered on the cuffs and collar.
I opened the jewelry box on the dressing table, and it was full of jewelry; all the jewelry I had pawned before had been returned.
Lanxin picked out a coral-colored comb and tried it on her hair, then chose a few small gold hairpins and applied exquisite makeup. Finally, she looked presentable.
Lan Xin explained, "This was sent back by someone through Zhao Niangzi. She said it was a token of her sincerity in cooperating, and she gave us all the pawn tickets."
"It's alright, take it." He thought it was time to see Zhao Qin again and discuss the caravan matters.
Yu Tan, wearing a cloak, led Lan Xin to He Xiang Courtyard. In less than a quarter of an hour, she arrived. In front of the courtyard, an early plum tree had already formed buds, and several plum blossoms had already bloomed on the branches.
She tiptoed to reach them, picked a few plum blossoms, and held them in her arms.
Granny Chang said happily, "Madam has arrived! The old lady has been waiting for you."
"Greetings, Granny Chang."
Granny Chang lifted the heavy windproof curtain and went into the inner room. The floor heating was burning brightly, and there was a stove by the door and another in the inner room, making it even warmer than her courtyard.
Madam Song sat at the round table, her gaze sweeping over her. Seeing that she was truly alright, she put on a stern face and said, "You said you would have breakfast with me all winter long, but now you can't even get up for lunch."
Lanxin helped her remove her cloak, and she sat properly next to Old Madam Song, sweetly calling out, "Grandmother."
"You lazybones, yet you still know to bring me flowers. Aren't these the plum blossoms in front of my yard? You're just using them to curry favor."
Seeing that Madam Song was no longer angry, Yu Tan got up, put the red plum blossoms into a white porcelain vase, found a window sill to place them, washed her hands, and picked up her chopsticks to add food to Madam Song's plate.
"If that's what Grandmother says, then I'll definitely come tomorrow and show Grandmother whether I'm really lazy."
"You, you!" Old Madam Song laughed out loud, her stern face no longer stiffening.
Yu Tan served Madam Song another bowl of well-cooked porridge, and after the meal, Madam Song finally smiled.
"The winter is bitterly cold, and Madam Chu has invited me to stay in Lingnan for a few months. It just so happens that Chu Minglang is going back to Lingnan. Would you like to come with me?"
“Lingnan?” Yu Tan frowned and looked up at Old Madam Song.
Madam Song smiled and said, "I've been confined to the backyard all my life. Now that I'm old, I'm finally free from being looked after. I can't help but take advantage of my mobility and travel around."
"Of course."
However, her entanglement with Chu Minglang in Lingnan would only deepen, and by then there would be no turning back.
Madam Song frowned: "Yaoyao, aren't you coming with me?"
A note from the author:
Thank you for the nutrient solution from the roadside couch fish. [Lop-eared rabbit head]
Could I please ask for some nutrient solution? I'm begging for nutrient solution! [starry eyes][fireworks]
Why does Yu Tan feed the fish? As mentioned before, when Yu He'an was receiving extra attention from the teacher while studying abroad, Yu Tan found it boring. Yu He'an then had her feed the fish, promising to pick her up after his lessons. That's why Yu Tan kept feeding the fish; she was waiting for Yu He'an to come get her. [Lop-eared rabbit head]
Yu He'an: When I was little, I was cold and stubborn, not a perfect person. I'll change when I grow up. [Let me see]
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