Chapter 42 The world is vast, and life is insignificant.
During the National Day Golden Week, Luo Qingyan and Xiao Nanyu rarely went out and stayed at home almost all the time.
The outside world is crowded and noisy, so Luo Qingyan prefers quiet now.
These past few days, the two of them have been reading, playing chess, dancing, watching movies, and exploring different foods at home, doing something different every day and enjoying themselves immensely.
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One afternoon, the two baked some cakes together, planning to enjoy afternoon tea while watching a movie. Before the movie, the little male fish went out to throw out the trash, while Luo Qingyan brought the cakes and tea to the living room and chose a movie.
As the young merman carrying the trash was closing the door, the elevator arrived, and a strange woman in gray stepped out. She noticed him, and he sensed something was amiss, but he didn't dwell on it. He walked straight into the elevator and went downstairs to throw out the trash.
The woman who came out of the elevator initially noticed the little merman simply because good-looking people are so conspicuous that it's hard not to notice them. But when she found the door number she was looking for, she was surprised for a while before pressing the doorbell.
"Why are you so fast? Why didn't you open the door yourself?" Luo Qingyan's voice came from the other side of the door. After opening the door, she was instantly surprised, "Gao...Gao Di? What brings you here?"
"I missed you!" Xu Gaodi quickly flashed a smile: "Who was that handsome guy who just went out? Is he your boyfriend?"
Luo Qingyan paused for a second, after all, one surprising thing after another. She smiled slightly: "Yes, it's my boyfriend. We just confirmed our relationship a few days ago! Come in!"
"Yes, yes, yes! You're amazing!" Luo Qingyan took a pair of slippers for Xu Gaodi from the shoe cabinet. "Back then... I might have had a crush on him, but we weren't dating. We only officially became a couple a few days ago! We haven't been in touch much lately. You said you were busy, so... I thought I'd wait until things were more stable before telling you!"
"You didn't go back to G City just because of this handsome guy, did you?" Xu Gaodi put on his slippers and paced back and forth to feel the shoes. "When did you meet him? I've never heard you mention him before."
"Hmm...more or less, maybe it's fate."
"That's wonderful! A beautiful woman should be paired with a handsome man! I'm so afraid that such a beautiful woman like you will end up with someone... who isn't handsome enough."
“You know I’m a sucker for good looks.” Luo Qingyan pulled Xu Gaodi toward the living room, then suddenly noticed he was only carrying a shoulder bag. “You…don’t you have any luggage? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? I could have picked you up!”
“I… it was a spur-of-the-moment decision. I bought a plane ticket early this morning and came here. I just left without thinking!” Xu Gaodi’s expression was somewhat complicated. She nudged Luo Qingyan’s shoulder with her own. “Did you miss me? You know my personality.”
"Your dark circles are so heavy, did you stay up all night?" Luo Qingyan grabbed Xu Gaodi's arm and gestured for him to sit on the sofa. "Sit down first, have some cake, I'll make you a cup of chrysanthemum tea."
"Okay." Xu Gaodi sat down woodenly, reached for the cake, and then his eyes darkened when he saw the two cups of tea on the table. "Am I disturbing you and your boyfriend?"
"No! We were just saying we were bored this morning, and it's perfect that you're here." Luo Qingyan said before going into the kitchen.
While Xu Gaodi was looking at the cake, she casually picked up her phone from the dining table. She guessed that the little male fish would be too afraid to make a move when he came back from outside and heard the noise inside, so she was going to send him a message to let him come back naturally.
Fortunately, out of concern, she made sure that the little merman always carried his phone with him whenever he went out, and the little merman steadfastly complied.
Sure enough, not long after the message was sent, the front door opened.
Luo Qingyan had just finished making tea and came out of the kitchen. She looked towards the door and said, "You're back! Let me introduce you to my good friend, Xu Gaodi. Did you run into her when you went out just now?"
"Hello, hello." The little merman greeted them first, and then changed his shoes.
"This is my boyfriend, Chen Yunjian." Luo Qingyan walked over to Xu Gaodi with a cup of tea and introduced the little male merman to Xu Gaodi.
"Hello!" Xu Gaodi stood up and waved to greet him.
"Sit down! Make yourself at ease!" Luo Qingyan placed the tea on the coffee table and pulled Xu Gaodi to sit down with her. "How about we watch a movie together first? I found a niche, highly-rated drama film; the reviews all say it's amazing!"
"Great! I haven't watched a movie in ages!" Xu Gaodi picked up his teacup, a satisfied expression on his face. "Food, drinks, and a movie—coming to see you will definitely make me incredibly happy."
"Happiness doesn't stop there. Let's have a good meal tonight and then sleep together!" Luo Qingyan picked up the remote and started a movie.
"The two of us?" Xu Gaodi was puzzled, since Luo Qingyan's boyfriend was also there. But before she could ask, Luo Qingyan continued to speak.
“His friend invited him to dinner at lunchtime, but he refused because he had to spend time with me. Now… let him go to dinner! His friend talked to him on the phone for a long time! He even said that he could have dinner with his girlfriend first and then go.” Luo Qingyan glanced at the little male fish and said quite naturally, “I asked him to go but he wouldn’t. Now it’s perfect. His presence here is just getting in our way.”
"Okay, I understand." The little male merman understood Luo Qingyan's meaning and calmly replied.
"It's decided then and there, let's watch a movie!" As soon as the movie's opening credits ended, Luo Qingyan immediately drew everyone's attention to the television screen.
Afterwards, the three of them leisurely watched a movie.
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The movie ended at 5 p.m.
The little boy tactfully said he had to go to a friend's party, so he left first, since he had sent a message to his friend during the movie that he was going to a party.
Luo Qingyan stood at the door to see her boyfriend off. She was a little worried, but the little male fish told her not to worry.
Later she learned that the Land Mermaid Organization had provided the young male merman with a house in Hefengting, which the young male merman had requested. She had originally planned for the young male merman to stay at a nearby hotel for the night, but this was perfect; not only was it convenient and safe, but the two of them were actually living in the same neighborhood.
After seeing the little male merman off, Luo Qingyan returned to the living room: "Gaudi, what do you want to eat tonight? There are plenty of delicious foods in G City, how about we go out for a stroll early?"
Xu Gaodi was holding a cup and drinking water. She had asked for hot water after finishing a cup of tea earlier, and had been drinking plain hot water ever since. Holding the cup, she seemed much more listless. After a pause, she spoke, "Can we...not go out?"
"Sure, let's order takeout then." Actually, Luo Qingyan had sensed something was wrong from the beginning, which was why she told the little male merman to leave as soon as possible.
Xu Gaodi is a very outgoing person, and she likes to dress in a bright and flamboyant style. But today she was clearly not in a good mood. Logically speaking, if she had decided to visit Luo Qingyan on a whim, she would definitely want to give him a surprise, the kind of thing that would make him very happy. However, when they met, there was a sense of forced smiles between them, and the other party was dressed in gray, which just didn't seem right.
"Okay, sure." Xu Gaodi put the water glass on the coffee table, lowered his head, and couldn't hide his sadness.
Luo Qingyan noticed Xu Gaodi's change and sat down on the sofa: "What's wrong? Did something happen?"
Xu Gaodi turned to look at Luo Qingyan, her eyes brimming with tears. She opened her mouth, but hesitated to speak.
"What's wrong? Don't cry, don't cry!" Luo Qingyan quickly reached into the box on the coffee table, grabbed a few tissues, and handed them to Xu Gaodi.
Xu Gaodi took the tissue and burst into tears: "Qingyan...I...I...my grandmother has passed away."
Luo Qingyan's eyes widened suddenly, her pupils dilated, and her heart clenched painfully. She immediately hugged Xu Gaodi, her voice trembling slightly: "When? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
Luo Qingyan had met Xu Gaodi's grandmother, a kind old woman. Xu Gaodi was raised by her grandmother, who doted on her, and the two had a very deep bond.
The old man's passing must have deeply saddened Xu Gaodi. Luo Qingyan understood that it was probably because she wasn't in S City that Xu Gaodi didn't want her, who was thousands of miles away, to worry, so he hadn't mentioned it to her at all. However, he was so overcome with grief that he impulsively came to find her.
Thinking about this made her extremely sad.
When her closest relative passed away, Xu Gaodi stayed by her side and comforted her for a long time, patiently helping her to get through the grief and return to a normal life. She was incredibly caring. But now, when her friend is sad and needs companionship, she is not there, and doesn't even know anything about it. It was only when her friend couldn't help but come to her that she suddenly found out.
She couldn't help but cry, silently weeping, the tears flowing endlessly.
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Xu Gaodi hugged Luo Qingyan and cried for a while before she calmed down. When she noticed that Luo Qingyan was also in tears, she quickly handed her tissues: "Qingyan, don't cry! I... I just couldn't help it... I was just overthinking! Actually, my grandmother passed away peacefully. She... although she was also sick, she passed away in her sleep. Before she passed away, we said goodbye properly, and she had no regrets."
"Um, I... it's nothing." Luo Qingyan wiped away her tears with a tissue while forcing a smile. "I just felt your sadness, so... it's hard not to... it's really hard to control your emotions when a loved one passes away... I understand."
“I…I thought my sadness had passed, but then…” Xu Gaodi was still choked up, “After the funeral, everyone gathered for a meal, and at that time…the atmosphere of grief was slowly dissipating. I understand that some emotions don’t need to be constantly shown on my face; the dead cannot be brought back to life, and everything will pass…but…but…”
Luo Qingyan raised her hand and put her arm around Xu Gaodi, gently patting his back to comfort him.
Xu Gaodi paused for a moment before speaking again: "I...I suddenly felt this way...because of a family gathering yesterday. I saw everyone so happy and harmonious, and heard so much laughter...I understand that everyone has their own lives to live, and it's a good thing to move on from sadness and be happy, but...but...at that moment, I just felt so, so incredibly sad..."
“I understand how you feel. The stark contrast between a bustling life and the loss of loved ones is so impactful…” A tear rolled down Luo Qingyan’s cheek. She knew all too well the feeling of deeply understanding the insignificance and fragility of life.
The world is vast, and humanity is vast, with each person following their own life trajectory. At the same time, any life can perish at any moment, yet it has no impact on the world. All life will eventually fade away in the long river of time. A tiny life, once gone, will soon be forgotten, as if it had never existed.
“I didn’t want to spoil everyone’s happy mood, so I tried very hard to hide my emotions… I thought I could do it, that I could get through it. But… at night, I… that pain suddenly exploded… It was so painful, like I was being swallowed up, I couldn’t handle it at all.” Xu Gaodi couldn’t help but cry again.
“Grandma’s illness came on very suddenly, and I didn’t have time to think too much. Before this, I never thought that Grandma would pass away, and I never thought about what the world would be like after she was gone. I took for granted the time she spent loving me. Suddenly… it just happened… It was so sudden for me. I was completely stunned and at a loss. Even after so many days, I still can’t accept it. Why? Why? I… it feels like something is crashing down on me, pressing down on me, pressing down so hard that I can’t breathe! It hurts so much… it really hurts so much…” Xu Gaodi sobbed as he spoke.
Luo Qingyan's eyes also became more moist. She patted Xu Gaodi's back and said in a soft and gentle voice, "Cry, cry your heart out, just let it all out."
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