Chapter 68 She Regretted It
Chapter Sixty-Five
The moonlight, cool as water, shimmered and spilled onto the long steps.
The back mountain of Cining Temple is not far away. Chen Panyan carried a lantern and arrived in about a quarter of an hour.
The big tree that Zhuzhi mentioned was at the highest point of the mountain. The evening breeze blew, and the shadows of the tree swayed, scattering moonlight across the ground and reflecting it in the pond not far away, creating a beautiful scene.
Zhu Zhi placed the fruit wine and snacks that Shen Panyan liked on the stone table by the lake. "Princess, the view of the moon is just right here."
The bright moon in the sky is reflected in the pond, motionless, only occasionally rippling when a gentle breeze blows.
"You've worked hard. Please sit down and enjoy the moon with me."
Zhuzhi carried a lot of things up the mountain, and after walking all the way, he was already sweating profusely.
She wiped the sweat from her brow and smiled, "Thank you, Princess, but I'm not tired. I can just stand."
"Sit down." Shen Panyan shook her head, gesturing for her to sit down.
This time, refusing again would be ungrateful, so Zhuzhi hesitated before sitting down. "This servant thanks the princess for her kindness."
Shen Panyan smiled and said, "It's nothing, no need to thank me."
After saying that, she poured herself a glass of fruit wine and took a small sip.
Savoring wine and admiring the moon, feeling the gentle evening breeze, the dust in Chen Panyan's heart seemed to be swept away by the evening breeze, leaving only a bright and clean window.
Shen Panyan looked at Zhuzhi sitting next to her. Come to think of it, Zhuzhi had been by her side for so long, but she still didn't know much about her. So, Shen Panyan asked about her past out of curiosity.
"Bamboo Branch, where did you work before you came to my side?"
Zhu Zhi was taken aback by the princess's question and then smiled, "Your Highness, before I came to your residence, I worked in the Imperial Study."
Imperial Study?
Wouldn't that be Father's person?
Shen Panyan paused for a moment, surprised: "Did you come on your own, or did Father send you?"
The palace maids who stayed to serve in front of the emperor were all observant and skillful. Not only were their salaries high, but if they climbed to a certain level, they could also be appointed as female officials. When it was time for them to leave the palace, they would be sought after wherever they went.
Staying in the Emperor's court is far more promising than staying by the side of this princess.
Zhu Zhi: "This servant came voluntarily."
Shen Panyan asked, puzzled, "Why?"
Zhu Zhi hesitated, unsure whether to speak or not. Shen Panyan noticed her hesitation and said, "Just say it. We're just chatting tonight. Whatever you say, I won't take it to heart."
"If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine too. Just pretend I didn't ask."
After saying that, she picked up the fruit wine and took a sip.
Over the years, she has been betrayed by people around her several times. To her, everything around her seems fake. She doesn't know who she should trust or who she shouldn't trust.
As long as she doesn't harm herself, let her keep her secrets. Who doesn't have some secrets in their heart? Shen Panyan had no intention of delving into it.
After hesitating for a moment, Zhuzhi stammered, "Princess, it's not that I can't talk about this, it's just that it has some connection with my family, and I'm afraid it will disgust you if you hear it."
"Oh?" Shen Panyan asked curiously. "Tell me about it."
"That's right, I actually come from a family of minor officials. For many years, my father has been unsuccessful in his official career, so he wanted to send me into the palace to become a concubine. However, His Majesty hasn't held a selection of concubines for many years, so he came up with a plan to send me into the palace as a maid. He even bribed someone to make me a maidservant in the Emperor's presence, and so on... so on..." At this point, Zhuzhi lowered her head, her cheeks flushed red, and her expression was extremely embarrassed. "My father has always wanted me to sleep with the Emperor, and he has written letters to coerce me several times. I didn't want to, so..."
Upon hearing this, Shen Panyan understood.
She sighed, "Now that you're by my side, your father is definitely unhappy. If he tries to force you again, don't be afraid. Just let him come looking for me."
“With me here, your father wouldn’t dare do anything to you.”
"Thank you, Princess!!" Zhuzhi was stunned for a moment, then surprised and delighted, and quickly stood up to express her gratitude.
Her father's situation was indeed a source of great distress for her. Ever since she came to the princess's residence, her father had frequently written letters to reprimand her. Although she tried her best to ignore it, she could not avoid it.
"It's nothing, please get up."
"Thank you, Princess."
After this incident, the two became somewhat closer. Zhuzhi came from a family of minor officials and had served the emperor since entering the palace. She was quite knowledgeable, and during their casual conversations, Shen Panyan learned a lot about her father.
Suddenly, she remembered something. "Zhuzhi, do you know what kinds of punishments are used in the palace?"
Lin Xiao hasn't appeared for a month, and no one knows what kind of punishment he was talking about in the dark room, that he would have to endure it for a whole month.
"Punishment?" Zhuzhi asked in confusion. "Why do you ask about this, Princess?"
"Well, I know someone who was... well, anyway, he was punished in some kind of secret room. Zhuzhi, do you know what kind of secret room punishments are used in the palace?"
“A dark room?” Zhuzhi shook her head. “There is no such punishment as a dark room in the palace. Most of the servants who make mistakes are punished by being sent to the laundry room. However, my father works at the Dali Temple, so I know about some punishments outside the palace. One of them is called a dark room, which may be related to the dark room you mentioned, Princess.”
"What is it?!" Shen Panyan's breath hitched.
Zhu Zhi recalled: "The Dali Temple uses a special form of torture against stubborn prisoners who refuse to speak no matter how they are punished. They lock the person in a room, seal all the doors and windows, leaving no light, so the whole room is pitch black and silent. They only bring in some spoiled water and food each day, without asking any questions or making a sound. Inside, it's as if their five senses are shut off; they can't perceive anything, they don't know the time, and they don't know where they are. The whole world is pitch black, and they will be slowly driven insane, and then they will want to die. When they want to die, the Dali Temple will send someone to talk to them. When the prisoner sees the light, they will have the desire to live. If they open their mouths, that's fine; if they don't, the door will be closed again. How can someone who has seen the light endure the darkness again? Even the most stubborn person will open their mouth under such torture."
After hearing Zhu Zhi's words, Shen Panyan could no longer control her expression, her face turning ashen.
Shen Panyan's voice trembled: "Zhuzhi, how long can prisoners endure such torture...?"
"I heard my father mention it; it can take anywhere from three to five days to ten days or more." Seeing her pale face, Zhuzhi looked at her with concern. "Princess, what's wrong?"
Shen Panyan tried her best to control herself, but her voice still trembled uncontrollably: "I, I'm fine, Zhuzhi, have you heard your father mention that someone spent a month inside?"
A month?
Zhu Zhi paused for a moment, then shook her head. "No, although this punishment doesn't torture the flesh, it's far more terrifying than any physical torture. Darkness torments and devours a person's mind. A person will go crazy and want to die after staying inside for three to five days. How could they possibly stay inside for a month?"
"I...I understand..." Shen Panyan's knuckles tightened inch by inch, and the back of her hand turned pale.
Before she knew what the punishment in the dark room was, Shen Panyan could still feel at ease, comforting herself that Lin Xiao was just being punished, but the punishment was something she had never heard of before, something special, perhaps just some physical pain. But after learning from Zhuzhi what the real punishment in the dark room was, she could no longer deceive herself.
This punishment was too cruel, too brutal... She couldn't bear to think that Lin Xiao had been locked in such a silent, dark room for a whole month... Her eyelashes trembled, and tears streamed down her face.
"Princess, what's wrong?" Seeing that she suddenly burst into tears, Zhuzhi quickly got up and took out an embroidered handkerchief to wipe away her tears.
"I'm fine, Zhuzhi." Shen Panyan forced a smile at the corners of her pale lips. "I was just... I was a little frightened when you talked about this punishment."
Zhu Zhi said with annoyance, "It's all my fault. Why did I have to tell you all this?"
Shen Panyan didn't say anything more. She suddenly got up from the stone table and quickly went to the big tree that Zhuzhi had mentioned, where wishes were said to be very effective.
The evening breeze ruffled her clothes, creating ripples. Chen Panyan fought back tears and made a wish in her heart.
If this tree truly has a spirit, she wanted to ask it to protect Lin Xiao and ensure his safety... Shen Panyan didn't believe it at first, but at this moment, she couldn't do anything, and didn't even know where he was being punished. She could only place her hopes on the illusory tree.
Remembering how Lin Xiao had reminded her several times before leaving not to leave the Princess's residence, and how a few days later the residence was surrounded by the Imperial Guards, with no one allowed to enter but no one allowed to leave, she knew that Lin Xiao must have said something to her father, which was why her father did this.
Otherwise, the Emperor would not have sent the Imperial Guards to surround the Princess's residence.
Although her father cared about her, his care was limited. After she fell ill, apart from sending someone to inquire about her on the first day and sending many gifts to her residence, he never asked her a single question after that. Shen Panyan already knew that her father did not have much affection for her.
That's true. He's been indifferent to her for so many years, so where is there any real affection between them? Just like her, she doesn't have any either. She only went to the palace to please him and get Lin Xiao back.
If Lin Xiao hadn't said something, how could the Emperor have possibly mobilized the Imperial Guards to protect the Princess's residence?
But why would he do that?
Is he worried that if he is punished, he won't be able to protect her?
Realizing this, Shen Panyan felt a dense, persistent pain in her heart, like needles piercing her chest. The pain surged like a tide, almost overwhelming her.
Why didn't he say so?
Why didn't he say that this was the punishment he received?
If she had known, if she had known... if she had known this would happen, she shouldn't have been so good to him. She should have severed ties with him when he became cold and indifferent. He could have been his bodyguard, and she could have been his princess.
But she was stubbornly attached to his warmth, wanting more from him. She wanted him to care about her, to always be by her side... His appearance was too perfect, when she was most fearful and terrified, like a drowning person grabbing onto the only piece of driftwood.
The sense of security he gave her was something she could never give up.
As long as he was still there when she turned around, she was no longer afraid. However, she did not expect that her reluctance and attachment would bring such serious consequences.
This was only the first time her father found out about their meeting... If her father knew more... Shen Panyan dared not think about it. She lowered her head, tears streaming down her face like a beaded curtain.
She bit her lip and slowly clenched her fists.
After returning to Beijing, she will definitely do everything she can to get Lin Xiao back.
No matter the cost.
Suddenly, a wind arose, rustling the leaves and rippling the clear water of the pond. The silver moon shattered into shimmering light. Zhuzhi hurried over and said, "Princess, the wind has picked up. Let's go back."
Shen Panyan was naturally unwilling to go back. If she left, what if the tree spirit thought that her heart was not sincere enough and that her wish could not be fulfilled?
Is he alright now?
She desperately wanted to see him, to know if he was alright... Shen Panyan had experienced that kind of lonely, despairing solitude before; she was terrified, wanting to go insane. She kept the lights on all night, in a world of utter darkness and silence...
She dared not think about it, she really dared not think about how Lin Xiao had spent that month.
Dark clouds gradually obscured the sky, the bright moonlight dimmed, and it looked like a night rain was about to fall. Seeing that the princess was not moving, Zhuzhi looked anxious and wanted to persuade her again. But before she could say a word, she felt a strong force on the back of her neck, and then her body went limp and fell down.
Shen Panyan was praying when she realized she was hallucinating. Was this tree really that powerful? Could it grant any wish she made? Even his voice seemed to be echoing in her ears.
"Your Highness."
His deep, hoarse voice, filled with weariness and weakness, rang out from behind. Shen Panyan was stunned, tears still clinging to her cheeks, and turned back.
The next moment, his pupils contracted sharply.
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