Chapter 86 Do you want to drink the contraceptive soup?
This one movement seemed to have exhausted all her strength, and fine beads of sweat appeared on her forehead.
She didn't know what she was doing; she just wanted him not to leave.
From the moment she met him, he gave her an untouchable sense of security, like a lone boat adrift in a stormy lake, without any support. He appeared and became that support, giving her something to rely on.
At this moment, she desperately wanted to grasp that fulcrum.
Lin Xiao slowly turned around, his gaze falling on the princess's delicate and tender face. Seeing the redness at the corners of her eyes, he slowly squatted down and gently approached her, his eyes focused.
"Your Highness, are you willing?"
Shen Panyan blinked in confusion, "What....."
He gently took her hand and placed it on his face. "Do you still remember who your subordinate is?"
He looked at her with dark and deep eyes. If she couldn't say who she was, it meant she was not in her right mind, and he would never touch her casually.
Although he longed to stay by Her Highness's side and occupy a place beside her, this was His Highness, the person he most desired and cherished.
He hoped she was conscious and clear-headed.
However, if she reveals who she is... he can let go once, but that doesn't mean he can let go a second time. The girl had been unconsciously rubbing against him before, and he was able to tolerate it only because she wasn't fully awake yet.
Shen Panyan's hazy consciousness briefly cleared, but when she saw his face, her watery eyes filled with confusion again, and she remained silent.
She thought of the royal villa, in the rainy night, when he suddenly knocked on her window, holding Dongxue and looking at her with expectant, starlight-like eyes. She also thought of the warm and dazzling smile he gave her when they went on a picnic in the mountains.
"Lin Xiao..."
Her dreamy gaze swept over the shimmering light, her almond-shaped eyes curved down, and she suddenly reached out and wrapped her arms around his neck. "How could I not know who you are? You are Lin Xiao, her favorite boy."
Before she could finish speaking, her lips were sealed shut, and all her words vanished between her teeth.
The boy's breathing was heavy and hot, but his lips were cool. However, these cool lips were like a burning fire, completely igniting her and instantly burning away her already confused reason.
"Lin Xiao..."
She instinctively opened her lips to respond to him, her arms tightly wrapped around his neck, like a helpless vine, clinging to everything, her soft body pressed close to him, seeking only comfort and support.
Having had two previous experiences, he no longer plundered her with the same thirsty desire as before. Instead, he softened his approach, gently nuzzling her and giving her little by little, almost like a sacrifice.
"Hmm..."
During a brief pause, a soft murmur escaped her lips. He hesitated, his breathing suddenly quickened, and he rolled over, pressing her body firmly onto the couch. His long, slender fingers slipped between hers, their fingers intertwining tightly as they sank into the brocade quilt.
Her clothes gradually became disheveled, and even her hair became loose, the two people's hair intertwined, like thick black ink.
Lin Xiao was the first to loosen his clothes; his brown robe fell away, revealing a snow-white undergarment and skin...
He had never actually done such a thing before, but he had heard that it would be very painful for a woman, so he moved with extra care and said in a hoarse voice, "Your Highness, if you are in pain, please tell me and I will be more careful."
He gently untied Shen Panyan's belt, revealing a large expanse of snow-white skin, with only a faint white scar near her collarbone on her shoulder.
As the belt was loosened, a chill swept over her, and Shen Panyan couldn't help but shiver. Her collarbone receded, making the scar even more noticeable.
Lin Xiao still remembered the injury; it was he who had injured His Highness... He suddenly lowered his head and gently kissed him, "Your Highness, I'm sorry."
I'm sorry, what are you sorry for?
A fleeting moment of clarity crossed Shen Panyan's hazy mind. When his kiss landed on her collarbone, she trembled instinctively. A sense of dread and unknown fear filled her heart, abruptly jolting her awake.
What are she and he doing?
"Lin Xiao, you can't!"
She suddenly reached out and pushed him away. Her vision gradually focused, and she saw his naked upper body. She hurriedly looked away, pulled the quilt next to her to cover her eyes, and mumbled, "No, Lin Xiao."
"You, you should quickly put your clothes on."
"I'll pretend nothing happened just now. You should get dressed quickly."
She hurriedly pushed him away, and Lin Xiao's eyes suddenly darkened.
The arrow was on the bowstring, and she suddenly made him stop...
Lin Xiao yanked the blanket off her face. "Then how does Your Highness intend to resolve this?"
"You don't want to see the imperial physician, nor do you want to talk to your subordinates..." He paused, his voice restrained yet tinged with gritted teeth, "Then how do you intend to resolve this?"
Shen Panyan opened her eyes to the side and murmured, "I'm fine, I can manage on my own."
The boy's figure almost enveloped her, his presence permeating every inch of her being. Her body was telling her, clamoring for her to give up, but Shen Panyan didn't want that. She had already decided to end this mistake with him; how could they possibly continue like that...?
She bit her lip so hard that it bled, and pushed him away, saying, "You, you get off me..."
"Your Highness!" He grasped her slender wrist, held her delicate fingertips, and imprisoned her beneath him.
"No, Lin Xiao, you can't." Shen Panyan shook her head repeatedly, her almond-shaped eyes filled with tears.
"Why not, Your Highness?"
He held her hand tightly with his knuckles, his eyes as black as ink. "Your Highness, I don't understand why you still refuse even now."
Just now, she had taken the initiative to hug him. He hadn't been affected by the incense, but to him, she was like a piece of honey coated with frosting. Just a touch was enough to burn away all his reason, just like Chinese medicine.
While resisting the urge within her, Shen Panyan struggled and pushed away, saying, "No, it's just no..."
"We can't..." Her eyes welled up with tears.
If such a relationship were to occur, she feared she wouldn't be able to let go, and she feared even more that he wouldn't be able to let go.
He never wanted to leave.
She cried, "Lin Xiao, let me go."
The girl before him had tears in her eyes, her drunken face like peach blossoms falling into water, rippling outwards. He couldn't help but want to pull her into his arms, but her resistance and struggle were like needles hidden beneath the peach blossoms, densely piercing his heart, making it hard to breathe.
Her Highness is unwilling.
Lin Xiao stared at her, remaining silent for a long time before finally giving in. He gently released her wrist, stepped off her, picked up his clothes, and put them on.
"good."
"Go and tell someone to prepare some cool water."
"......Um."
Seeing that he had really given up, Shen Panyan felt a pang of sadness in her heart, trembled as she closed her eyes, and tears rolled down her eyelashes.
Seeing him leave, a strange longing surged through her body, almost overwhelming her reason, making her unable to control herself and wanting to speak up to stop him.
Shen Panyan bit her lip so hard that it bled, before she managed to keep herself from making a sound.
But she was in so much pain that even with her best efforts to control herself, she could only manage broken sobs.
Hearing a noise behind him, Lin Xiao suddenly stopped and glanced back at her.
Seeing that she was in such pain and unwilling to touch him, his lips suddenly tightened.
Lin Xiao lowered his eyes, closed the door, and left.
Not long after, a commotion came from the cubicle, with the sound of rushing water. As the last splash of water subsided, Shen Panyan vaguely felt herself being suddenly lifted up.
Like a blazing fire meeting ice, she instinctively rubbed against him, murmuring, "Lin Xiao..."
His movements faltered.
However, he only paused for a moment before carrying her forward, passing the screen, and arriving at the private room, where he gently placed her in the cool water.
The icy water instantly brought Shen Panyan back to her senses. She quickly shrank back inside, clutching her chest, "I...I'm fine now, you can leave."
Lin Xiao gave her a deep look. "Yes, I'll take my leave."
This was originally just an ordinary aphrodisiac incense. Although its potency was a bit strong, it was still used for flirting in brothels and pleasure houses. As long as she could endure it, everything would be fine. Shen Panyan also thought that she could just endure it.
At first, it was like a surging tide, but later, somehow, it turned into wave after wave, as if insects were gnawing at the heart.
The pain was so vivid that it made her both clear-headed and yearning, like a fish out of water, unable to stop itself from gasping for breath.
She sank her body down, the swaying water reaching up to her chin, but it did nothing to alleviate the situation.
Her body went limp and fell downwards, the cold water submerging her nose and mouth. She instinctively struggled, causing the water to slosh and make a swaying sound.
A strong feeling of suffocation came over her, and everything went black before Shen Panyan's eyes. She opened her mouth to call for someone to come in, but more water poured into her mouth and nose.
"Come on... gurgle..."
Just then, a hurried voice suddenly rang in my ears, "Your Highness!"
A pair of arms quickly scooped her out of the bathtub.
Once out of the damp, suffocating water, Shen Panyan immediately started coughing violently. Lin Xiao quickly pressed several acupoints on her chest, and her stomach churned as she bent over and vomited a large mouthful of water.
"Cough, cough, cough..."
She raised her eyes tremblingly, her smile weak, "Lin Xiao, thank you."
If he hadn't appeared in time, she probably would have been dead.
She reached out and pushed him away. "I'm fine. You, you can let go of me!"
Even in this state, she still tried to push him away. Lin Xiao suppressed his sobs and pulled her closer, saying, "Your Highness, this is not suitable for you."
Shen Panyan bit her lip and turned her face away. "That was just an accident. I... I won't do it again..."
He suddenly turned her head to face him, placing a hand on the back of her head to prevent her from escaping and forcing her gaze to his face. "Your Highness, I don't understand, I don't understand why you insist on refusing me."
"Lin Xiao can sense that Your Highness also likes your subordinate."
"Why must you refuse your subordinates!"
"We're not a good match, I'm getting married..." Shen Panyan was restrained by him and had no way to escape, so she could only struggle and shift her gaze elsewhere, refusing to look at him.
"Marriage?" Lin Xiao suddenly scoffed, tightening his grip to prevent her from escaping. "With Gu Jinyan? Gu Jinyan is not worthy of being your consort."
"He did this to you, and you clearly don't like him, so why did you still marry him?"
Shen Panyan bit her soft lips until they turned white. "So what? No matter what, my husband can never be you..."
"As I've said before, I never wanted to become your son-in-law. I just wanted a place by your side, without any title or status, a male concubine, anything is fine, as long as I'm by your side!"
He suddenly lowered his head and kissed her lips, their lips intertwining. Shen Panyan's eyes widened, and she quickly pushed him away.
"no!!"
"Your Highness!" Lin Xiao reached out and forcefully restrained her hands, his voice cold, "What exactly is wrong with me? Is it that my face doesn't suit your taste, or my body doesn't suit your taste?"
He reached out and unbuckled his belt, his brown martial robe slipping away to reveal his fair and slender upper body. He grabbed her hand and forced her trembling hand to rest on his body, their skin touching. "Take a look for yourself. What's wrong with you?"
Shen Panyan's face turned bright red. She turned her head away, trying to pull her hand back, but she couldn't get it out of his grasp.
"No, Lin Xiao, you can't..."
Lin Xiao pressed, "Is it because I am inferior to Gu Jinyan, or because I do not have Gu Jinyan's status, that you are hesitant?"
Shen Panyan shook her head repeatedly, "No, no."
“If that’s not the case, then why won’t you accept me? Yes, I’m just a bodyguard, and I can never stand openly by your side. You are a princess, and I am just a shadow. But I only want to be a shadow, a shadow by your side.”
“I…” Shen Panyan’s heart trembled, and she remained silent in a daze.
He placed her hand on his heart. "Your Highness, listen, this heart beats because of you. I was originally a knife in the darkness, but you told me I was a human being. You said I was the best person in the world... Lin Xiao knows that I should respect you, honor you, and should never fall in love with you. I have repeatedly overstepped my bounds. You are the master, and I am just a servant. But Your Highness, I have already fallen in love with you!"
“Back in the Royal Villa, from the moment you helped Linxiao up, Linxiao had already fallen in love with you.” His eyes were already red, and his voice was hoarse and cold. “Linxiao can’t let go, and he can’t continue to watch you torture yourself like this. Even if you don’t want to, Linxiao will not continue to let you go.”
After saying that, he picked her up and carried her to the couch not far away, where he removed her wet clothes.
Shen Panyan trembled, flustered, "What...what are you doing?"
"No, Lin Xiao, you really can't..."
He reached out and grabbed her flailing hands, his knuckles threading through her fingers, trapping her firmly beneath him, preventing her from moving an inch.
He didn't speak, only his hot breath fell on her, on her neck...
Shen Panyan cowered, trying to retreat, but the next moment, he caught up again, like prey that had been bitten hard, unable to escape or struggle.
"No, really no..." Shen Panyan felt like she was about to collapse.
Her body and reason were torn in two. Her body told her that she wanted him, that she liked him anyway, and that it wouldn't matter if they were together. But she knew that being with him would not end well for him.
Her identity destined her to never be free, whether in marriage or in matters of her own will; she could never be free, while he could, he clearly could be free.
She still remembered that rainy night when she frantically searched for him, only to find him lying on the muddy ground, barely alive.
That was the first time she had ever been so afraid of him disappearing.
She held him tightly in her arms, hoping he could live.
She had never thought he was so vulnerable. She was used to his coldness and strength, but she forgot that he was also a person, a vulnerable person, and that he could also die.
The image of him on the verge of death that day still seems vivid in my mind.
She promised him, she pledged to help him get free, but not only did she fail to keep her promise, she also took advantage of him, causing him to be hurt repeatedly because of her.
Chen Panyan suddenly couldn't stop her tears.
Why would he have to like someone as wicked as her?
She really didn't want to relive that day.
She was terrified, terrified that her father would die if he found out about all this!
She was wrong.
She always tells herself not to be soft-hearted anymore, but when she's with him, she can't help but be soft-hearted, time and time again, which is why he finds it increasingly difficult to let go.
Looking back, he didn't actually have that many desires from the very beginning.
This time, she will not be soft-hearted.
She struggled violently, "Lin Xiao, let me go, get out, I don't need you."
Lin Xiao restrained her, raised his eyes to look at her, gave her a deep look, and remained silent.
His kiss landed again.
He completely ignored her rejection.
"How dare you, Lin Xiao!" Shen Panyan's face turned red with anger.
Lin Xiao's voice was indifferent: "You don't allow your subordinates to be presumptuous, but haven't I been presumptuous many times myself?"
Chen Panyan: "..."
She gritted her teeth and said, "If you continue like this, don't blame me for being ruthless."
Lin Xiao gave her a deep look, "We'll have to wait until you're better before we talk about that."
After saying that, he ignored her completely, no matter how angry, furious, or even pleading she was.
Chen Panyan was utterly powerless.
She truly hated his stubbornness.
How can someone be so stubborn?
As he moved down and completely removed her clothes, Shen Panyan could no longer contain her terror, "What are you doing?"
"don't want!"
Lin Xiao paused, hesitated for a moment, and said, "Your Highness, I have never done such a thing. Please forgive me."
"You!" Shen Panyan was both ashamed and angry, but she couldn't stop him. He was too domineering, and she simply couldn't refuse him.
She thought he would really disregard her wishes and be with her... but she never expected that he would just use such methods.
She was stunned for a moment.
His movements were awkward and cautious.
Shen Panyan clutched the bedding tightly, feeling both angry and ashamed to the point that her toes curled up, unable to utter a single word, her whole body feeling weak and powerless.
In the past, when Lin Xiao was on missions, he would occasionally encounter people who frequented pleasure boats and brothels.
He had seen how people in pleasure boats and brothels served others. If His Highness was unwilling, he couldn't possibly force her into having that kind of relationship against her will.
So he tried to help her in the way he had seen before.
This should also be useful.
When the effects of the aphrodisiac completely wore off, Shen Panyan felt as if she had been pulled out of the water, drenched in sweat and with her mind completely blank.
Lin Xiao bent down, picked her up, and carried her back to the cubicle.
The cold water in the bathtub had been replaced with warm water. As Chen Panyan fell into the water, her blank thoughts gradually came to a stop. Coming back to her senses, she hurriedly covered her chest. Even though her whole body was covered with his marks, she was still incredibly embarrassed.
"Get out! Get out!!"
Thinking about what had just happened, Shen Panyan felt ashamed and furious, shouting, "Get out!!"
Seeing her full of resistance and anger towards him, Lin Xiao's knuckles curled up, veins bulging on the back of his hand, and his voice low and hoarse, "Yes."
Shen Panyan turned her back to him, her voice cold, though her body trembled beneath the water, "Lin Xiao, you should leave the princess's residence today."
"Go find Zhuzhi in a little while. I've already asked her to prepare travel expenses for you. Take advantage of the fact that it's not dark yet and hurry out of the city. Don't come to the capital again."
"Your Highness!" Lin Xiao froze, grabbing her arm in a panic, his voice suppressed with pain, "Why do you insist on sending me away?"
Shen Panyan said, word by word, "You disregard my wishes like this, Lin Xiao, I can no longer tolerate you."
She closed her eyes, her voice trembling slightly, "Go away, and never come back."
"Now, get out."
Lin Xiao's hands trembled uncontrollably.
"...I'm sorry, Your Highness." He looked at her, his voice lowering pleadingly, "But please, could you not send me away? I won't do it again..."
"You want a next time?" Shen Panyan glared at him, both embarrassed and angry.
"I didn't mean it..." Lin Xiao quickly explained.
"Then let's go out." Shen Panyan interrupted him. She had said she wouldn't be soft-hearted this time, and she wouldn't be. "I'm going to take a bath."
Seeing her resolute determination, Lin Xiao slowly released her arm. "Okay."
"Your Highness, please take a bath first. I will come to find you later."
Lin Xiao turned around, walked around the screen, dressed and tidied herself up, and went out. Not long after, Zhu Zhi hurriedly walked in. Seeing the marks all over her body, even though she had expected it, she was still shocked and hesitated to speak, "Princess."
Zhuzhi and Qingdai were waiting for her outside the side room, but the princess didn't come out for a long time. The two were anxious to go in, but were stopped by the servants of the Rongguo Duke's Mansion.
They said the princess was drunk and resting, and told them not to rush and to wait patiently. But Zhuzhi and Qingdai were unwilling and insisted on seeing the princess. Gu Jinyan's servants couldn't stop them and they barged in, only to find an empty room.
The princess has disappeared.
The two were shocked and furious. They asked Gu Jinyan and the princess where they were, but the servants hesitated and refused to answer. It wasn't until the two threatened to tell His Majesty that the servants finally relented and led them to the courtyard.
Seeing the large expanse of red decorations resembling a bridal chamber, the two felt a pang of fear, thinking something had happened to the princess. They rushed inside, only to find Gu Jinyan lying unconscious on the ground.
The two breathed a sigh of relief, but were also somewhat panicked. Where had the princess gone? Ignoring the servant who was holding Gu Jinyan and crying, Zhuzhi and Qingdai hurriedly returned to the princess's residence. They originally wanted to send someone out to search for the princess secretly, but to their surprise, they heard from a maid that the princess had already returned.
Zhuzhi and Qingdai were overjoyed and hurried to her room, only to hear the princess's trembling voice coming from inside.
The two were stunned, looking at each other for a long time before they came to their senses. One of them went to have water prepared, and the other went to have medicine brewed. They only went inside after Lin Xiao came out.
"Princess, would you like to drink the contraceptive soup? Qingdai has already had it prepared."
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