Chapter 91 Lin Xiao, take me away...
"He's right outside, Princess. Would you like to see him?"
Shen Panyan thought for a moment, then gently shook her head, "Never mind."
She was in such a disheveled state that she didn't want him to see her.
She slowly closed her eyes, her voice extremely weak, "Zhuzhi, go out, let me have some peace and quiet by myself."
Seeing her like this, Zhuzhi dared not disturb her any further, and bowed, saying, "Yes, Princess."
The bamboo branch has left.
Shen Panyan lay on the couch, thinking about many things.
The poison in her body was so potent that the imperial physicians of the Imperial Hospital were helpless. Even the Emperor could only summon renowned doctors from all over the country to treat her and remove the poison. If they could find one, that would be fine, but what if they couldn't?
Doesn't that mean she has to go through this kind of pain every time the poison flares up?
How many more times will she have to endure this kind of pain before it ends?
Shen Panyan was unaware of the impending doom; she only felt that the road ahead was bleak and hopeless. If things continued like this, she felt that she might as well just die.
She hadn't thought about Qiushuang for a long time.
Back in the Royal Villa, when Qiu Shuang betrayed her and pushed her off a cliff, she felt the same despair.
She thought no one would care about her and that she would die... but unexpectedly, Lin Xiao also jumped off the cliff and saved her.
Scenes from the past gradually surfaced in her mind, including the times she resolutely rejected Lin Xiao... Shen Panyan suddenly found herself a little amused.
She wasn't like this before. She was timid and weak. If someone said a few words to her, she wouldn't even look up and would just keep avoiding them. When did she start to become courageous?
Perhaps it was when Lin Xiao repeatedly told her how good things were, or perhaps it was when she turned around and saw him, or perhaps it was when she saw him firmly protecting her... He made her courageous and no longer timid. He has always firmly chosen her, even at great cost, to be by her side.
But what did she do?
She rejected him.
He only wanted to stay by her side; his biggest desire was simply to have a place beside her. However, she not only rejected him but also smashed the jade bracelet he had given her, leaving him heartbroken and devoid of any will to live... Even though she stopped him in time, his heart meridian was still severely damaged...
Shen Panyan suddenly buried her entire face in the soft pillow, hiding the tears she couldn't stop.
A thought slowly surfaced in her mind... Yes, Lin Xiao's status was very low, which meant she was destined not to be with her. But what if she didn't become a princess?
Just because she's not a princess, does that mean she can be with him?
She wanted to leave with him, leave the capital, go to Jiangnan, go to the north, go anywhere, as long as he was by her side... In her whole life, she had been losing people. No one had ever really cared about her or her thoughts. Everyone would leave her. Only he, and only he, would stay with her and always care about her.
She was the same way.
She never wanted to part with him; otherwise, she wouldn't have softened her heart time and time again. But why did she only realize this now?
If she doesn't become a princess, she can be with him!
She didn't want to be a princess anymore; she wanted to leave the capital with him... Shen Panyan suddenly sat up in bed.
But soon, Shen Panyan regained her senses. She was now under the influence of the Lover's Curse, and even if she left him, she would only drag him down to his death.
Lin Xiao wouldn't watch her die. Even if she refused to drink his blood, he would forcefully shove it into her lips.
He's always been this assertive.
Suddenly, for some unknown reason, Shen Panyan burst out laughing.
Even though Lin Xiao is strong-willed, he doesn't truly disregard her. On the contrary, he cares about her deeply, which is why he's so assertive towards her. Apart from not wanting to leave, everything he does is for her own good.
That day, he clearly wanted to... but he still held back.
How could her Lin Xiao be so good?
Shen Panyan suddenly shouted: "Bamboo branch!"
Zhu Zhi thought something had happened and hurriedly pushed open the door and came in. "Princess, what's wrong?"
"Do my hair and makeup."
Wasn't the princess supposed to be resting? Why is she suddenly getting ready?
Zhu Zhi was puzzled, but still did as instructed.
However, when she took out a pale yellow silk dress to put on her, Shen Panyan shook her head, "This one doesn't look good, change it."
Zhu Zhi looked at her blankly: "Princess, this dress was just made by the embroiderer a couple of days ago. Didn't you say it was very beautiful...?"
Why does it suddenly look bad?
Shen Panyan: "I don't want this one, you pick one for me again... Never mind, I'll pick one myself."
Shen Panyan got out of bed and spent a long time browsing in the wardrobe before finally picking out a moon-white silk dress and holding it up against herself. "Zhuzhi, can you tell me if this looks good on me?"
Bamboo Branch: "Princess, hello..."
Before she could finish speaking, Shen Panyan suddenly put the dress back and shook her head, "Never mind, this dress is too plain. I'll pick another one."
Bamboo branch: "......."
A moment later, Shen Panyan picked out a light green long dress. "Zhuzhi, do you think I look good in this?"
Bamboo Branch: "Okay..."
To her surprise, Shen Panyan still felt it wasn't quite right. "No, the green of this dress is too dark. Let me find another one."
Bamboo Branch: "......"
What's wrong with the princess?
Zhuzhi watched as Chen Panyan picked and chose in front of the wardrobe, finding fault with everything from the color and pattern to the pale color... until she had almost turned the entire wardrobe upside down before finally choosing a dress that was just barely to her liking.
It was a dusty pink floor-length ruqun (a type of traditional Chinese dress). The dress looked simple, but it was actually exquisite in every detail. Even the hem was outlined with gold thread. When she walked, it was like a flower blooming gracefully on a branch in spring.
Shen Panyan rarely wore rouge and powder, but today she specially asked Zhuzhi to do her makeup, and then applied the lip rouge she had bought a few days ago to her lips.
Looking at herself in the bronze mirror, Shen Panyan nervously twisted her handkerchief.
In the bronze mirror, the girl's face was delicate, her almond-shaped eyes sparkling. Her originally pale face had gained some color from the makeup, and she did not look haggard. However, her body was still weak, and she inexplicably looked like a willow swaying in the breeze, with a charming and pitiful appearance.
"Bamboo Branch, do you think I look good like this?"
"Princess, your beauty is unparalleled," Zhuzhi praised. "This servant has never seen you dressed so elaborately before. Princess, are you going to see someone?"
Shen Panyan smiled, revealing a small dimple. "It's a secret!"
Zhu Zhi covered her mouth and laughed, teasingly saying, "Princess, you don't need to tell me who you're going to see. It's Lin Xiao, isn't it!"
Apart from that person, she had never seen the princess care about anyone so much.
Shen Panyan lowered her head in embarrassment, "It's good that you know, don't say it out loud."
"Alright, I'm going out now. Can you take a look and see if there's anything wrong with my outfit today?" Shen Panyan stood up and turned around in front of her.
"No, the princess is naturally beautiful, she looks good even without makeup."
"That's good." Shen Panyan's eyes curved into a smile as she quickly walked towards the door.
However, at the moment she pushed open the door, she suddenly hesitated.
She slowly lowered her eyelashes. After how she had treated Lin Xiao a few days ago, would he... still like her?
Zhu Zhi walked over. "Princess, what's wrong?"
She looked at her with some concern, "Princess, why did you suddenly decide to see Lin Xiao?"
"And dressed like this..."
Shen Panyan pursed her lips. "Zhuzhi, tell me, is there really no way to cure the Gu poison in my body?"
Zhu Zhi hurriedly reassured her, "Princess, don't worry. With His Majesty here, you won't die."
Shen Panyan turned to look at her, her voice serious: "But the poison is really painful when it takes effect, I'm afraid I won't be able to hold on."
She wasn't someone who could easily endure pain.
Zhu Zhi panicked a little. "Princess, what do you mean by that?"
"Physician Lin has some pills that can suppress your Gu poison. Please don't do anything rash!"
Shen Panyan smiled at her, "It's nothing, look how scared you are, Zhuzhi, don't think so much, I won't do that."
Zhu Zhi gripped her arm tightly, "Princess, you must trust His Majesty, trust the entire Imperial Medical Academy. You won't end up like that..."
Shen Panyan reached out and patted her hand to comfort her, "I really won't do that, Zhuzhi, don't scare yourself. Okay, let go of me now, I need to go see Linxiao."
Zhu Zhi looked her up and down for a while, and seeing that she looked relaxed, as if she had just said it casually, he slowly let go of her arm.
At this moment, Shen Panyan no longer hesitated, pushed open the door, saw the courtyard full of blooming flowers, and softly called out, "Lin Xiao."
The next moment, he appeared in front of her, kneeling down on one knee. "Your Highness, this subordinate greets you."
Shen Panyan quickly bent down to help him up, "Get up quickly."
Lin Xiao rose as instructed. "Does Your Highness have any orders?"
Seeing his calm and indifferent face, Shen Panyan's joy gradually faded, and she felt a tightness in her chest. "I...I have nothing to tell you."
Lin Xiao bowed and cupped his hands in greeting, "If Your Highness has no further instructions, then this subordinate shall take his leave."
Seeing that he was about to leave, Shen Panyan hurriedly called out, "Wait!"
Lin Xiao turned around. "Is there anything else, Your Highness?"
"I..." Shen Panyan twisted her handkerchief with her knuckles, biting her lip. After hesitating for a long time, she finally decided to ask, "Don't you think there's anything different about me today?"
Lin Xiao then looked up at her and said, "Your Highness looks very handsome today."
After saying that, he lowered his eyes, not daring to look at her again.
Chen Panyan: "..."
Is that all?
Looking at his silent face, she didn't know what to say, and murmured, "Um... thank you..."
Lin Xiao left.
Shen Panyan stared at the spot where he had disappeared, standing there for a long time until Zhuzhi reminded her, at which point she turned and went back into the house.
"Zhuzhi, do you think Linxiao hates me now?" Chen Panyan sat dejectedly in front of the bronze mirror, her voice low. "He doesn't even look at me, he's so respectful to me..."
"How could that be, Princess? Don't overthink it. How could Lin Xiao possibly dislike you?" Zhu Zhi laughed. "You don't know, when you fainted before, he was so anxious that he carried Physician Lin over directly, and Physician Lin scolded him for a long time..."
After hearing what Zhu Zhi said, Shen Panyan couldn't help but laugh, "He's always like this."
"So, Princess, don't overthink it. How could Lin Xiao not care about you? Right now, the most important thing for you is to recover. Once the poison is cured, you can have a proper talk with him."
Shen Panyan hesitated before nodding, "Mm."
She still didn't want to become a burden to Lin Xiao. Fortunately, Physician Lin was highly skilled and made a pill that would allow her to suppress the Gu poison without having to drink blood.
Thinking of something, she instructed, "Zhuzhi, you must not let Gu Jinyan approach my courtyard in the future."
Gu Jinyan's residence at the Princess's residence was ordered by the Emperor. She couldn't drive him away, so she could only tell him not to come near her courtyard.
Bamboo Branch: "Yes, Princess."
Shen Panyan removed her hairpins and makeup and lay down to rest again.
The imperial physicians of the Imperial Hospital are all helpless against the Gu poison in her body and are extremely busy. She has no better option than to wait.
Shen Panyan lowered her eyes, her knuckles gripping the bedding tightly.
Seven days later, Shen Panyan's poison took effect again.
However, the medicine from Physician Lin arrived just in time, and Shen Panyan didn't suffer much as the poison was suppressed.
After that, every time the poison flared up, Physician Lin's pills were delivered very promptly, almost as soon as the poison took effect, the pills were placed to her lips.
However, no one expected that a month later, the poison would suddenly take effect ahead of schedule.
Because Shen Panyan had been staying in the room for a long time, Zhu Zhi persuaded her to come out for a walk, even if it was just to get some fresh air in the back garden. People would get suffocated if they stayed cooped up in the house all day.
Shen Panyan thought for a moment and didn't refuse, but unexpectedly, the poison suddenly took effect. Almost instantly, she collapsed to the ground, cold sweat beading on her forehead. Her knuckles gripped the bamboo branch tightly. "Bamboo...bamboo branch, the pill..."
Zhu Zhi panicked and stammered, tears welling in her eyes, "Princess, there are no pills..."
"No... pills, how could there be no... pills?"
Every time she succumbed to the poison, Zhuzhi would give her some pills. She had always thought that Physician Lin had given her a lot of pills and that she should keep them with her at all times. But it turns out that wasn't the case.
Shen Panyan opened her mouth, wanting to ask Zhuzhi to go to Physician Lin's house to get the pills, but unexpectedly, Lin Xiao suddenly appeared in front of her.
Without hesitation, he slashed his own hand, and blood gushed out. He brought the blood to her lips, but Shen Panyan was stunned for a moment, then turned her head away, refusing to drink.
Lin Xiao was anxious and brought his hand close to her lips, "Your Highness!"
Because speaking was too difficult, Chen Panyan's words were indistinct, "Lin...Lin Xiao, you...you don't need to worry about me...Physician Lin...Physician Lin has medicine..."
Lin Xiao could no longer treat her as forcefully as before. He had said that he would obediently listen to her, so he could only place his hand to her lips and plead with her in a low voice, "Your Highness, please drink a sip. Just one sip will relieve the pain."
Shen Panyan turned her head away, biting her lip tightly, refusing to drink his blood no matter what. She asked Zhuzhi to bandage Lin Xiao, saying she didn't need him to do that... Zhuzhi looked at her in a panic, seeing the cold sweat on her forehead soaking her hair, her face contorted in pain, and finally couldn't help but say, "Princess, please just drink a sip!"
"The reason why Physician Lin's pills are effective is because they contain Lin Xiao's blood!! In order to make these pills for you, he needs to bleed even more blood. Just drink a sip, whether it's for you or for him, Princess!!" She spoke very quickly, almost choking as she shouted.
"Wh...what!" Shen Panyan stared at him blankly, as if she had forgotten even the pain in her body.
Lin Xiao pursed his lips, as if he wanted to say something, but his Adam's apple bobbed and he ultimately didn't say anything. He just lowered his eyes and brought his blood-dripping hand to her lips.
In fact, since Lin Xiao came to her side, he has rarely worn a mask and has mostly shown her his true face. But recently, he has started wearing a mask.
Without thinking, she reached out to remove his mask. Lin Xiao stiffened slightly and turned his head away as if to dodge. Shen Panyan said, "Don't dodge!"
Lin Xiao was stuck.
He ultimately did not dodge, but lowered his eyes and whispered, "Your Highness, I am fine, you don't need to worry about me."
As the mask was removed, his face was revealed to be extremely pale, his skin so thin and fragile it was like translucent paper, even weaker than hers.
Shen Panyan stared at him blankly, then suddenly burst into tears.
"You... how could you be so stupid..."
A person can die from excessive blood loss.
She always thought, always thought the pills she took were... who knew, they were actually his blood...
Watching the bright red blood flow down his arm, Chen Panyan's throat bobbed, and he trembled as he opened his lips.
She couldn't waste his feelings.
As the poison subsided, Lin Xiao bandaged his wound and withdrew his hand. However, Shen Panyan suddenly reached out and grabbed his arm tightly.
She moved with lightning speed, her fingertips trembling as she untied his wrist guards and pulled his clothes up. Almost instantly, the old and new wounds appeared before her eyes.
Some knife wounds had scabbed over, while others had just healed; they crisscrossed, and there were several in total… Looking at this scene, Shen Panyan instantly burst into tears, “Lin Xiao…”
Lin Xiao was at a loss. He wanted to pull his arm away from hers, but he was afraid she would get angry.
He put down his clothes to cover his wound, saying, "I'm sorry, Your Highness, I frightened you..."
“You…” Shen Panyan could no longer hold back. She reached out and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, sobbing uncontrollably, “Lin Xiao, you are a complete fool.”
She was so mean to him, why would he risk his life to save her?
If she hadn't discovered it in time, she might not have known the truth until he bled to death.
How could anyone be as stupid as him?
Tears soaked his clothes. Lin Xiao stood frozen in place, his arm twitching as if he wanted to pull her into his embrace, but then he remembered something and lowered it again, whispering to comfort her, "Your Highness, I am really alright, you don't need to worry."
How could she not worry? How could she not care? He was clearly the person she cared about most.
Shen Panyan couldn't hold back her tears any longer and cried out loud.
"Lin Xiao, take me away!"
Lin Xiao was stunned, thinking he had misheard. "Your Highness, what did you say?"
Shen Panyan released him, looked at him with hazy almond eyes, bent her eyes at him, and smiled.
"Lin Xiao, take me away!"
"I don't want to be a princess anymore. Let's leave the capital and go anywhere."
"I love you, I want to be with you, I want to be with you forever!"
If her poison is incurable, he will die from blood loss, and she will die from the poison taking effect and consuming her heart.
This is fine too.
We may be born at different times, but we can die at the same time.
Lin Xiao slowly opened his eyes wide to look at her, incredulous yet cautious, "Your Highness..."
Shen Panyan smiled at him, "What, you don't want to?"
Don't you want to be with me?
Lin Xiao shook his head, "No, but you are a princess, you are Mingyue. I am not worthy of you giving up your princess status to be with me."
He cannot selfishly want to be with Her Highness and cause Her Highness to lose her status.
Lin Xiao slowly lowered his eyes.
"You are a princess, and you should always be a princess."
"Your subordinate is unworthy of your status."
He refused.
Shen Panyan looked at him with teary eyes, speechless.
Zhu Zhi was stunned by the princess's words and stood there for a long time before she came to her senses. She looked at Chen Panyan in a panic, "Princess, how can you give up your princess status? You want to be with Lin Xiao, and you can now. Why give it up..."
"No!" Shen Panyan shook her head and looked at Lin Xiao seriously. "There is no such thing as being unworthy or unworthy. I think you are worthy, so you are worthy. Apart from this princess status, I can't do anything. But you, apart from not having any status, you know martial arts, medicine, and poison. You can do everything. How could you not be worthy of me?"
Looking at his injured hand, she burst into tears again. "Look, you're so wonderful. I'll regret missing out on you, Lin Xiao. I don't want you to hide in the shadows. I want to be with you openly and honestly. So, take me away from the capital. We can go anywhere!"
As long as he's there.
Lin Xiao stared at her, seemingly trying to find any reluctance in her. Perhaps His Highness was simply desperate because of the Gu poison, which was why she wanted to leave the capital... However, after looking at her for a long time, he couldn't see even a trace of reluctance in her; she was completely serious. After a long while, he finally spoke in a low, hoarse voice, "Your Highness... are you... serious?"
Shen Panyan smiled at him, "Of course I'm serious."
"I love you, Lin Xiao, I really love you so much!" She said this with utmost sincerity.
“Last time, I regretted breaking the bracelet you gave me. I was wrong. It was my most precious thing, something that nothing can make up for.”
"Even if I were a princess, I would not have any jewelry more precious than this."
“Your Highness…” Lin Xiao was completely stunned this time, staring at her without blinking.
"Princess!!" Zhuzhi looked at the two of them, pacing anxiously in circles.
But Shen Panyan had already made up her mind, and she couldn't change her mind.
Unbeknownst to the three, a person was hiding inside the artificial hill not far away, watching the whole scene with a gloomy expression.
Because they were too far away, he couldn't hear what they were saying, but he knew a little bit about lip reading and understood it.
The princess is going to elope with an unknown soldier.
Gu Jinyan noticed that the figure of that soldier was somewhat similar to the one who had kidnapped her.
The thought of the princess rejecting him repeatedly, this upright young master from a noble family, and instead eloping with an unknown nobody made Gu Jinyan clench his fists.
He glanced at the three people not far away, and as if he had thought of something, he suddenly sneered, turned around, and hurried away.
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