Chapter 81 A Blessed Marriage
Chapter Seventy-Eight
When all things grow, even peonies seem to radiate the spirit of spring, flourishing and vibrant.
Shen Panyan remained silent in the princess's mansion for a long time until the day Cheng Le got married, when she finally stepped out of the mansion.
“Princess, today is Princess Chengle’s wedding day. You can’t keep up that long face like before. You have to smile, like this…” Qingdai stretched out two fingers, poked the soft flesh on her cheek, and smiled.
Shen Panyan couldn't help but laugh, "I understand."
Seeing her smile, the two breathed a sigh of relief. "Princess, after Princess Chengle's marriage, His Majesty will probably ask about your marriage. Have you decided which young master you want to be your consort?"
“You’ve been unhappy lately and haven’t been seeing anyone, so I haven’t told you. Actually, Young Master Gu has come to the Princess’s residence several times, but I’ve sent him away each time.”
“I don’t know. I originally chose Gu Jinyan, but… the relationships within the Rongguo Mansion are too complicated, and I don’t like them…” Shen Panyan clutched the hem of her clothes and slowly lowered her head. “Zhuzhi, Qingdai, do you think I can tell Father that I won’t get married?”
Qingdai Zhuzhi was terrified and hurriedly advised, "Princess, you mustn't say such things."
"As a royal princess, how could you not get married? Do you intend to cut your hair and become a nun? Not only would His Majesty disagree, but all the civil and military officials in the court would also disagree if they knew about this."
"Yes, Princess, if you don't get married, you will lose face for the royal family. What will become of the royal dignity? His Majesty will be very angry if he finds out. If you don't want to get married, you can simply find a consort and have less contact with him in the future."
Shen Panyan knew it was impossible, but she couldn't help but hope. Now, hearing Zhuzhi and Qingdai say this, she muttered, "I understand."
Zhu Zhi glared at Qing Dai, "What nonsense are you talking about? How can a princess not associate with her husband? Do you want the princess to grow old alone? I think Young Master Gu is quite good. He is also attentive and considerate to you. The princess might as well consider him. After all, it is best to find someone who understands and cares for you when you get married."
Shen Panyan pursed her lips and said nothing more.
The carriage traveled at a leisurely pace, entering the alley where Princess Chengle's residence was located.
At this moment, Princess Chengle's residence was covered in red silk, filled with the sounds of gongs and drums, and servants were bustling about among the guests, creating a lively atmosphere.
Shen Panyan and Cheng Le didn't have a good relationship, and she had also had some dealings with Zhao Yun before, so it would be awkward to meet. Therefore, she had no intention of going to Cheng Le's boudoir to join in the fun, and just asked someone to take her to a quiet place to sit.
If it weren't for Zhuzhi insisting that she come out for a walk and see the excitement outside, she would have only planned to send someone to deliver a wedding gift.
Standing here, unsure whether to leave or stay, I could only sip my tea in silence, listlessly gazing at the scenery around the courtyard.
Seeing that Shen Panyan was alone again, Zhuzhi advised, "Princess, why don't you go over to the more crowded area and get to know some of the ladies from prominent families in the capital? That way, you won't have to stay cooped up in your room all day when you have nothing to do. Wouldn't it be better to invite three or five friends to go out and have some fun together?"
While at the manor, the princess always lived alone, as if no one could enter her life except herself. If this continued, she was genuinely worried that the princess might do something rash.
"No, thank you."
Shen Panyan didn't think there was anything wrong with it. She didn't like to have too much involvement with other people, and she was used to being alone.
"Princess....."
"Bright moon!"
Just then, a slightly surprised voice rang out, interrupting Zhu Zhi's words. Shen Panyan turned her head and saw Gu Jinyan, dressed in a blue and white brocade robe, striding towards her with a bright smile, "I just heard from the servants of Princess Chengle's residence that you've come too. I've been looking for you for so long, so this is you!"
Shen Panyan stood up, her tone polite yet distant, "Young Master Gu!"
Gu Jinyan paused, looking at her with confusion at first, then aggrieved expression. "Mingyue, did I do something to upset you? Why... why have you suddenly become so cold towards me again?"
When they were at Cining Temple, she still called him Brother Jinyan.
He had originally wanted to ask why she had suddenly left without saying goodbye when they were at Cining Temple, but seeing Shen Panyan's lukewarm attitude towards him, he hesitated to ask.
He was afraid that the answer he would hear was not the one he wanted to hear.
"I'm sorry, it's just that I'm in a bad mood, it has nothing to do with you."
Before Shen Panyan could figure out how to face him, she stood up and turned to leave, saying, "Excuse me, Young Master Gu, I'm going to the front yard."
"etc!!"
Seeing her about to leave, Gu Jinyan quickly stepped forward and stopped her, anxiously saying, "Mingyue, can you tell me what I did wrong? I really don't know what I did wrong. You're so hot and cold, I really don't know what to do..." He lowered his eyes and pleaded in a low voice, "Tell me, and I'll change, okay?"
Shen Panyan turned her head away, "There's no reason, it's just because I don't like you."
Gu Jinyan froze, her heart clenching. "But, at Cining Temple..."
Shen Panyan didn't want to continue this pointless entanglement with him. She sighed, "But I already told you before that I don't like you. No matter how long you chase after me, I still don't like you."
Gu Jinyan was silent for a moment, then suddenly spoke up, "Is it because you, Princess, already have someone you like?"
As far as he knew, she lived a secluded life, and apart from him constantly pestering her, there were no other men around her.
Suddenly, he remembered something, "Is it the man in black who tied me up on the high platform in the west of the city last time?"
"Because of him, you came to the Rongguo Duke's Mansion for the first time and took the initiative to visit me. The first thing you did when I woke up was to ask me to let him go. Princess, is he the one you love?"
Shen Panyan was momentarily speechless, taken aback by the question.
She pursed her lips, looked away, and didn't answer.
Seeing her like this, Gu Jinyan felt even more certain that she hadn't guessed wrong, and things she hadn't thought about in the past gradually surfaced in her mind.
Previously, she had always been gentle and distant towards him, but after the Cining Temple incident, she suddenly changed. Gu Jinyan's thoughts became clearer and clearer, like beads strung together.
He asked steadily, "Princess, was he also there when you were at Cining Temple?"
Shen Panyan remained silent.
“He’s definitely here!” Gu Jinyan said with certainty. “I don’t know the identity of that man in black, but since you’re so concerned about him, Princess, you must care about him a lot. However, his identity must be something he can’t show up in public, otherwise, he would have appeared long ago. Princess, you understand this very well, which is why you deliberately approached me at Cining Temple. You wanted to use me to make him give up, or perhaps even abandon his hopes, right, Princess?”
“I…” Shen Panyan paused for a moment, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. If you’re unhappy, please don’t come looking for me again.”
Seeing her readily admit it, Gu Jinyan felt a sense of relief, as if the dust had settled. So it wasn't his fault after all; she was just using him... So all his joy was nothing but a facade. The light in Gu Jinyan's eyes dimmed, but suddenly, he smiled again, "Since the princess is going to pretend, why not just keep pretending?"
"Since you and he can't be together anyway, why can't the princess accept me?"
"You...?" Shen Panyan paused for a moment, looked up at him, and her eyes gradually showed surprise.
She thought he would be very angry if he knew this.
Gu Jinyan: "Is the princess surprised that Jinyan still hasn't given up?"
Shen Panyan: "Yes."
If an ordinary person knew about this, they would have given up long ago.
"But you haven't rejected Jinyan yet, have you? Not rejecting her means Jinyan still has a chance!"
Chen Panyan: "......"
Hasn't she already rejected him many times?
Shen Panyan felt somewhat powerless. After a moment of contemplation, she looked at him seriously and said, "Young Master Gu, I really don't like you. I'm certain of that. There's only one person I like, and there won't be a second. What happened at Cining Temple before was indeed something I didn't consider carefully and neglected your feelings. I apologize to you. I'm sorry."
"Why must you do this, Princess? Do you have to distance yourself from me? I don't need your apology at all," Gu Jinyan said in a muffled voice.
“But Gu Jinyan, even if I can’t be with him, it doesn’t mean I will accept you. We’ve known each other for a while now, and you should know my personality to some extent. I don’t like getting entangled with too many people, and you are the young master of the Rongguo Duke’s Mansion.”
Shen Panyan shook her head. "The inner workings of aristocratic families are too complicated. I don't want to associate with them."
“Princess, you will eventually get married. Even if you don’t choose me, you will marry someone else. Why can’t that person be me?” Gu Jinyan suddenly reached out and grabbed her wrist, taking a step forward. “Princess, ever since I met you, I have disregarded my status and the ridicule of others, following you every day. If you don’t see me, I will find a way to see you. We have known each other for so long, can’t you see my heart?”
Shen Panyan took a step back, her delicate brows furrowing. "Gu Jinyan, let go!"
Gu Jinyan: "I won't let go!!"
"Princess, you have to give me an explanation. Just because of the Rongguo Duke's Mansion, you're going to completely deny me..." He had followed her for so long, searching relentlessly, only to receive this answer. How could he accept this?
Shen Panyan forcefully pulled her arm back, turned her face away, and said coldly, "But Gu Jinyan, all of this was your own choice. From the beginning, I said that I don't like you. You said it yourself that you only wanted wealth and status and that you didn't have much sincerity towards me. Didn't you say that yourself?"
“I…” Gu Jinyan was speechless, her eyes gradually filled with pain. “Princess, can’t you really see that the things I said back then were just to prevent you from rejecting me?”
"So what if you figured it out, or so what if you didn't?"
Shen Panyan said coldly, "I will not accept you, nor will I accept anyone else. Gu Jinyan, from the beginning, it was all wishful thinking on your part. You don't need to put your heart into me anymore."
"There are plenty of good girls in the capital; you deserve better."
Shen Panyan walked past him and headed outside. "Zhuzhi, Qingdai, let's go."
"Yes, Princess."
Zhuzhi and Qingdai quickly followed after them.
Gu Jinyan watched her receding figure, his eyelashes slowly lowering, his fists clenched tightly.
But Princess... no matter how good others are, they are not you!
*
Zhu Zhi followed closely behind Shen Panyan and asked in confusion, "Princess, why did you reject Young Master Gu? Even if you don't have feelings for him now, isn't it enough that he likes you? He will treat you well. When a woman gets married, it doesn't matter whether she likes him or not. What's important is to marry someone who likes her. That way, she can have a good life in the future."
Shen Panyan lowered her eyes: "Zhuzhi, I can't accept anyone else anymore."
"My heart is limited, and I can't convince myself to accept another person."
She had considered Gu Jinyan before, but that was before. Her so-called consideration was only to make Lin Xiao give up, and it had nothing to do with Gu Jinyan himself.
Now that she has other options, there is no need for her to use Gu Jinyan anymore.
She didn't want to owe him anything, nor did she want to be a faithless person.
“But Princess, you must get married eventually. What if His Majesty arranges a marriage for you with someone who doesn’t like you, instead of Gu Jinyan?” Zhuzhi said anxiously. “You’re already a bit too gentle. What if your future husband treats you badly, or keeps a mistress behind your back… wouldn’t that ruin your life…?”
It's not uncommon for princes-in-law to take concubines and keep mistresses in the Zhao Yan Kingdom. If the princess can't control her husband, her future will definitely be difficult.
With earnest pleading, Zhu Zhi said, "Princess, please heed my advice..."
"Zhuzhi, you don't need to say anything more. My mind is made up. As for marriage, Father can arrange whomever he wants for me. I don't care about these things."
Bamboo Branch: "How can you not care at all about your own life's most important matter? This is the person you're going to spend your whole life with!"
Shen Panyan: "If it's not someone you like, isn't it all the same who you're with?"
Zhu Zhi was speechless: "That's not how it works, Princess..."
Shen Panyan shook her head. "Zhuzhi, you'll understand when you find someone you like."
"But Princess, it is truly a pity that you are refusing like this."
Zhu Zhi felt sorry for her, but Shen Panyan felt there was nothing to regret.
Don't give people hope when there is none; this is a lesson she has only recently come to understand.
Giving Lin Xiao hope time and time again was her biggest mistake and the thing she regretted the most. She couldn't make the same mistake again.
"Let's go to the front yard."
After attending Cheng Le's wedding, Shen Panyan returned to her residence.
A few days later, a major event occurred in the capital. Since the Crown Prince was deposed, the court had been arguing about who should take the position. Now, the decision has finally been made: the Third Prince.
With the new crown prince in office, the capital city returned to its former bustling state, with people coming and going on Chang'an Avenue, smoke rising from the streets, and a peaceful atmosphere prevailing.
A carriage drove along Chang'an Street, heading towards the Princess's residence.
The moment Shen Panyan received the imperial edict, her mind went completely blank.
"What, an arranged marriage?"
"Yes, Your Highness, please kneel down to receive the decree!"
Shen Panyan knelt down in a daze. As Eunuch Deyuan opened the imperial edict, his loud voice echoed throughout the hall.
"My beloved daughter, Mingyue, is gentle, virtuous, and graceful, deeply pleasing to my eye. Now that she has come of age, it is time to choose a suitable husband. I have heard Gu Jin say..."
Gu Jinyan, how could it be... how could it be Gu Jinyan?!
Shen Panyan was stunned for a long time. It wasn't until Eunuch Deyuan finished reading the imperial edict and called her several times that she came back to her senses, her voice hoarse.
"Eunuch Deyuan, why...why did Father Emperor choose Gu Jinyan as my consort? Before, Father Emperor...didn't he let me choose for myself...?"
She had just rejected Gu Jinyan, and now he had become her consort. How could she possibly accept this...?
"Your Highness, please accept the imperial decree." Eunuch Deyuan handed her the decree. "Young Master Gu is interested in you and has a lively personality. Compared to your quiet nature, the contrast between your quiet and energetic nature makes you a perfect match!"
"But..." Shen Panyan was at a loss, shaking her head with tears blurring her vision, "I don't like him. Why did Father choose him of all people..."
"Princess, you can't say such things carelessly. Feelings are something that need to be cultivated slowly. Now that the imperial decree has been issued, you should accept it quickly!"
Despite repeated urging from Eunuch Deyuan, the imperial edict had already been issued, and there was no way to refuse unless one defied it.
"...Yes, Your Majesty, I obey your command."
Shen Panyan held it in both hands, fighting back tears, and choked up.
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Author's Note: I'm a bit too tired to write anymore. Mercury retrograde these past few days, I even cut my hand [laughing and crying emoji]
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