Chapter 73

Roger's heart seemed to be pricked by a cat's paw, and it was painful and itchy.

Do you like it? This answer was like a hydrogen balloon that had lost its traction and was floating in the sky. Maybe he just didn't dare to admit it. Roger turned his head and stared at the decorative lights on the wall, "What do you mean by like or not like? I don't know what you are talking about." He played dumb with poor skills, but his red ears and disordered breathing exposed his heart - he was trying his best to pretend, and the effect seemed unsatisfactory.

"How can I not know?" He Songgao put his nose against his ear and rubbed it gently. "Yes or no, give me an answer."

Luo Jie was sweating profusely, and his whole body was about to melt like ice cream. "I don't like it." He said with difficulty, reaching out and gently pushing He Songgao, "Stay away from me."

"If you don't like it, why do you do these things that make me misunderstand you." He Songgao smiled, his eyes lingering on Luo Jie's temples and ears.

"What, what misunderstanding."

"Your face is so red." He Songgao turned his head and stared at Luo Jie's lips that were slightly white because of nervousness.

The sense of oppression was so heavy. Luo Jie instinctively felt the danger, and he moved sideways like a crab, trying to escape from He Songgao's influence.

He Songgao reacted quickly. He stretched out an arm to press against the door a second before he raised his leg. Now he had no chance of escaping.

He resisted stubbornly, like a prisoner making excuses in front of a police officer, making his last stand: "I don't like you. Stop being so self-indulgent. I'm a straight man and I'm not interested in men."

"Oh." He Songgao's expression was calm. He stepped back a little and looked into Roger's eyes.

"What are you doing?" Roger was a little panicked. At this moment, he was most afraid of looking into his eyes - damn, just a small negligence, he fell into the trap of his eyes. He swallowed his saliva and turned his head away as if to escape, but he only did half of the action and he stopped moving completely - He Songgao suddenly pressed down, and his lips felt cold, and something stuck to them.

"!" Roger's eyes widened, and he subconsciously pushed him away.

He Songgao grabbed his hand with an irresistible gentle force, "Don't move." He whispered, and his voice disappeared between their lips.

I have to say, he is a master of kissing. With his waist hooped and his back covered, they hugged each other in an incredibly intimate posture. Roger could even feel He Songgao's heartbeat, beating on his chest through his skin and flesh. His teeth were pried open, and his mouth passively welcomed a rude invader.

He Songgao's tongue was very flexible, and it stirred in his mouth with the cooperation of his lips. This feeling was so strange and familiar, as if he was back to that night surrounded by the northern lights. Roger's heart was beating wildly, about to burst out of his chest. He hugged He Songgao's waist, becoming more and more intoxicated.

After being pressed against the door and kissed for a while, Roger's mouth was sore and swollen. Shame replaced the intoxication and intercepted his thoughts. He pushed He Songgao away with force.

"..." He panted, his eyes turned into a pool of water, shining dimly on He Songgao.

"Do you like it?" He Songgao said.

"..." He opened his mouth, and another small stream of saliva flowed down. He was so ashamed that his scalp was numb. He reached out and wiped the saliva away with force. He wanted to speak more powerfully, but the tone that came out was soft and sweet, as if he had just eaten a greasy candy, "Who likes it." After he finished speaking, his face turned a little redder.

"Really?" He Songgao smiled, and rubbed his fingers on Roger's soft red lips twice. "I don't believe it." He lowered his head and kissed him again without saying a word.

Roger's head was numb, and he lost his mind again in the increasingly unbridled kiss.

When he came to his senses, he was already pressed on the bed by He Songgao, his shirt was half untied, and the belt was loosely draped over his hips. He Songgao was very heavy, pressing him so hard that he couldn't breathe. Such a close distance made the changes in his body untraceable. Roger panted heavily, wondering what he was going to do next, was it going to be like that night?

But what was this, he was clearly still dating someone else...wait, a date.

In an instant, it was like a bucket of cold water splashed on Roger's face, and he woke up instantly. The tip of his

tongue was numbed by sucking, and the passion just now was gone. He only felt an indescribable disgust. He pushed He Songgao away with all his strength, sat up, and stared at him with a resentful look.

"What's wrong?" He Songgao didn't understand. His tie was untied, and only the first button of his shirt was unbuttoned. Compared with the mess on Roger's body, he could be considered decent.

Roger took a breath and said, "You, you," he was too embarrassed to ask, was it like this when you checked into a hotel with him? Once these sour and biting words were spoken, it seemed to be confirmed - the fact that he liked him. This fact, which seemed like a conviction, made him more and more afraid to admit it. How could he admit it? How could he admit it? Did he become a homosexual just by admitting that he went to Europe?

Homosexual, these three words weighed on him like a mountain. How could he be a homosexual? He was just affected by that damn geomagnetic storm and did something beyond the moral standards of reality. Moreover, he was drunk that day and was not sober... But why, why did he accept He Songgao's kiss when he was still sane, he did not push him away, he even enjoyed him... So he was also responsible for this matter, there is no doubt, the evidence is conclusive. Those memories like broken glass scattered on the ground flooded into his brain, his face turned from red to white, and gradually became bloodless.

He sat on the bed weakly, and when he looked down, he saw the clothes that were loosely draped over his body. In an instant, he felt as if struck by lightning, and his heart felt as painful as a knife. The first time was enough, why would there be a second time? Could it be that he was really completely affected? Would he never be able to change? A

strong panic overwhelmed him. The first thing he thought of was that he was sorry for his parents. He was a straight man. For thirty years, he had always believed that one day he would marry a woman, have a baby, and form a happy family... Could he still do it? After being entangled with a man like this, could he still be with a woman?

Otherwise, just leave it at that, don't pursue it anymore, no matter who he dates, it can't change the fact that this was a mistake. Was he going to continue making mistakes? Roger's mind was in a mess, some clueless thoughts came out, and then retreated. His face was pale, and he sat on the bed like an exquisite statue with its soul taken away.

"What's wrong with you?" He Songgao looked at him, as if he had noticed something, his expression gradually became solemn.

Luo Jie raised his head, his face was broken and empty, he spoke weakly: "It's late, I'm leaving first." He slowly arranged his clothes, the buttons that he could button with one hand in the past now took effort to button with both hands, he lowered his head, some warm tears overflowed from his eyes.

He Songgao's expression froze, as if he was angry, and as if he couldn't believe it - he said: "You're leaving?" The next second, his expression became gloomy, "If that's the case, why bother coming?"

Luo Jie's hands were shaking, yes, he asked himself, why did he come. How could he answer He Songgao with this question that he couldn't answer himself? So he was silent, doing his own thing in silence.

"What are you afraid of?"

He heard He Songgao say, his voice seemed to come from the distant horizon.

What is he afraid of? Is he afraid that his life will be changed, or is he afraid of taking another path that is completely opposite to normal life - he doesn't even dare to think deeply, and let the problem remain at the surface of his mind. Quite cowardly, as a man. But is this his fault? Not everyone has the courage to accept a major event that can change their life, and what's more, he doesn't like himself. Luo Jie thought sadly, and his head hung even lower.

The bed moved. The next second, his face was held up, and He Songgao sat next to him and asked in a low voice: "You can tell me, and we can solve it together."

Luo Jie bit his lower lip, and the words were on his lips, but he couldn't say it.

"Then let me change the question." He Songgao said, "Do you like me?"

It was the same question again. Roger suddenly felt angry. He was already dating someone else. What was the point of asking him if he liked her or not? Who knew what they were doing in the other room? Was it the same as before, hugging, kissing, or even... Roger's eyes became complicated. He looked into He Songgao's eyes and couldn't help asking, "Have you always been like this?"

"What?"

"Just kissing anyone." Roger said with difficulty, "Did you do that to that person tonight, too?"

"What?" He Songgao put his face down, and his expression became a little weird.

"That's right," Roger twisted his hands around his legs. He was not used to facing the intimate interaction between two men. Just describing it made his heart tremble with panic, "Oral... that thing."

"..." He Songgao said with a smile, "You were distracted tonight because of this?"

"How could I be distracted?" How could I be distracted. "Do

you mind this?" Almost in an instant, He Songgao's expression became lively again, with a smile in his eyes and high spirits, "Only partners will ask their lovers to be loyal, am I right?" He said, confidently and firmly, "You like me."

This sentence seemed to hit his heart like a gavel, and with a crisp sound, his guilt was also pronounced - love, or liking, between two people of the same sex is a sin. For a moment, he was so panicked that he didn't know what to do. Tears fell and his heart was shaking. He had a deep worry about his future and a heavy sense of guilt towards the people who loved him.

Mom and Dad, I'm sorry, I seem to have really become a homosexual.

Through his tearful eyes, he saw He Songgao's face. Even though he didn't want to admit it, it seemed that he couldn't control his love for him anymore. It's not that he hasn't liked others before. He even knew from the beginning that his feelings for He Songgao were not normal, but he still couldn't control his soul and let it fly towards him. It turned out that what he said that day was true -

the feelings between homosexuals have nothing to do with gender, and don't consider the reality. It's just that you are simply attracted to his soul, and you can't resist... It's a kind of love driven by instinct.

What should I do? He thought sadly, as if he had already seen his dark future