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The unbearable lightness of life.

The unbearable heaviness of life.

He Songgao's life is full of unbearable heaviness.

He is the youngest son in the family, with a distinguished family background and high hopes placed on him since childhood. He is smart, alert, always rational, and perfectly inherits the family's successful genes. But unfortunately, he is emotionally indifferent. Perhaps everything came too easily. He has countless properties, his family is harmonious and the atmosphere is harmonious (even if everything is just on the surface). As long as he wants, love will surge towards him like an ocean.

But he is not interested.

He grew up indifferently, away from his family, without friends. If there is something in the world that interests him, it is - traveling. Compared with the complex and changeable emotions between people, he prefers the vast and magnificent scenery of nature. The stars have moved, time has changed, only the beauty of nature is eternal. But in life, there are always some ties that cannot be broken. The sense of responsibility like a shackle makes him return to the secular world and become an ordinary person as humble as thousands of ants.

He thought that this was his life. He came alone and left alone. His heart turned into a stone in the boring years. Until - a reckless person broke into his heart without warning.

He was a thoroughly vulgar person. His name was vulgar, his behavior was vulgar, and his hobbies were hopelessly vulgar. What made him even more angry was that he actually ignored the difference in their status and wanted to be friends with him?

Friend, He Songgao thought contemptuously, I am noble, you are vulgar, my thoughts are as deep as the boundless sea, and you are just a shallow bay of water, so shallow that it will dissipate into water vapor under the slightest touch of the scorching sun, revealing the brown soil. However, he wondered in confusion, why can a vulgar person feel happy so easily?

An unintentional compliment, an outdated gift, or even a body unconsciously leaning towards him - can make him laugh like a puppy with its tongue sticking out and its tail wagging, happily spinning in circles.

For the first time, He Songgao whispered his name - Roger, and these two words turned into beautiful notes, vibrating on his heartstrings.

By the time he realized that he cared about him in an unusual way, it was too late to retreat. He, a proud man, would never allow himself to fall in love with a fool with vulgar behavior and crude thoughts, so he ran away, fled in panic, hoping that time and strange space could protect his noble thoughts from being infected.

A year is enough for a highly self-controlled person to withdraw from a wrong infatuation. He was even complacent about his self-control that was far superior to that of ordinary people. He confidently returned to the place where they first met, convinced that when he saw him again, he would never be seduced by him again -

they met in the elevator.

As He Songgao expected, his heart didn't even move at his appearance. He felt happy, with a sense of pleasure that his soul had finally broken free from the invisible weight.

He raised his head.

He Songgao saw a beautiful face, with a face shape between melon seeds and goose eggs, a full forehead, a delicate nose, and eyes - He Songgao was a little stunned. Was it his illusion? Why did he look at himself with eyes full of grievance, anger, accusation, and even a trace of barely perceptible sadness. Oh, he suddenly realized that he was sad for leaving without saying goodbye and continuing to be distant.

For a moment, his heart moved, like a feather gently brushing against his heart.

When he came back to his senses, he was gone.

He Songgao made a wrong decision to let him be his secretary. He tried to find a reasonable excuse for his behavior. This was what he promised him. A gentleman's word is as good as his bond. Could he be a villain who does not keep his word? But it was not a pleasant feeling to have one's heart deceived. He felt that he had become a vulgar person like him - even deceiving his own sincerity.

So he shamelessly chose to escape, just like a year ago. But how could he escape when he was so close? He could only ignore and be indifferent, making him feel that he was being treated coldly.

This was successful. The poor fool thought that he was not welcomed, and he was trembling with fear like a rabbit all day long. On the one hand, he longed to be praised, and on the other hand, he curled up in fear - this made He Songgao despise him even more. Since he couldn't bear it, why didn't he choose to resign? He had been prepared long ago. If he proposed to resign, he would approve his departure the next second, so that neither of them would have to suffer this inexplicable torment.

One year, I forgot when it was, he negotiated a particularly big deal. When people are happy, they tend to forget themselves and make decisions that they regret deeply. Looking at the poor secretary, He Songgao felt compassion and decided to treat him to a meal.

The secretary was terrified, thinking that he would be eaten after the meal, and asked fearfully: "Why are you treating me to a meal?" The reproachful look seemed to say: How are you going to abuse me again?

He Songgao didn't want to admit that he was aroused by some kind of bad taste, but he did enjoy this interesting chasing game, just like a hunter's natural love of hunting. He said: "Reward you for your efforts over the past year."

The secretary believed him and went to dinner with him.

Even though they had a strange and awkward relationship before, it was not uncommon for them to sit together and eat peacefully like this - it was really amazing. Sometimes He Songgao was in a good mood and even allowed his secretary to occasionally offend him - he was not a cruel monarch and sometimes accepted reasonable advice.

Just like now, his secretary ate and drank his fill, and actually mustered up some courage to pluck hair from a tiger's butt. He glared with his round eyes and said, "Where did I offend you that you have to bully me like this."

He found it funny, and his mood became surprisingly good: "Where did I bully you?"

"Finding faults every day, this is not bullying?" The secretary picked up the wine on the table and drank it all, to give himself courage, "If you want to resign, I will just say it directly, why are you beating around the bush?"

He Songgao said calmly, "I don't want to fire you." I'm just waiting for you to resign on your own initiative. Can't you see that, you fool?

"Haha." The secretary's eyes were red, and the look she gave him was full of grievance and anger. "Do you believe what you said? It's so annoying. I've had such a hard time meeting you." He drank again, as if using alcohol to eliminate the resentment that had accumulated in his heart for a long time. "If it weren't for our friendship, I would have ignored you a long time ago. You can do whatever you want. I'm not a masochist--"

"Friendship?" He Songgao savored the two words in his mouth, "Have we ever had a friendship?"

"You--" The secretary glared at him, and after a moment, turned away as if disappointed, "Forget it, there's nothing to say to you, I'm going to the toilet and then go home." He stood up staggeringly and walked towards a direction that was not a toilet at all. He Songgao ignored his funny behavior. For a moment, he wanted to go up to support him, straighten him out, and call him an idiot - but he didn't have this opportunity. The waiter saw the drunk customer who wanted to find the toilet and enthusiastically showed him the direction.

He Songgao was a little disappointed.

Ten minutes later, the secretary came back. He Songgao saw him walking straight into his arms. For a moment, he felt that the secretary was throwing himself into his arms - but he turned precisely and sat down next to him.

“……” He Songgao looked at him silently.

The secretary drank in depression, and he drank 80% of the wine tonight. He Songgao thought that with this drinking, he should have been drunk a long time ago.

Sure enough, his secretary held an empty wine glass and asked him if he could order him another bottle of wine.

He Songgao reminded him lightly: "You are drunk."

"No." The secretary said, staring with a pair of red rabbit eyes, "You are so stingy that you don't even want to order me a bottle of wine."

"..." He Songgao controlled himself and didn't laugh happily because of someone's funny behavior, even if he looked cute, "Okay, go home, you are drunk." He said.

The secretary had no self-awareness at all and insisted on asking the boss to buy him some drinks. He even moved closer and closer, with his head almost resting on the boss's shoulder. He Songgao slightly raised his head and did not push him away. He even - he didn't know what was wrong with him. He even hugged the drunk guy and said in a coaxing tone: "Next time, you're already drunk."

Soon, the secretary forgot his original purpose, but hugged the boss's arm and said pitifully: "Did I really do a bad job?"

He Songgao hesitated for a while and said, "What's bad?"

"My work ability -" the secretary pouted and accused with tears in his eyes, "It's not that bad. You look at me fiercely every day, making me feel that I'm a hopeless fool and I have no confidence at all."

He was drunk and his body was very limp. He Songgao held his shoulder, thought for a moment, and then his hand moved to his waist uncontrollably - so thin, thin and soft. He stared at the secretary's eyes that were hazy due to drunkenness, and for some reason he praised him: "You did a good job, I am very satisfied."

"Really?" The secretary immediately wagged his tail desperately in his arms like a puppy who had been praised, "I knew I did a good job - you are too demanding and too harsh. Oh, if you don't praise me like this often, I am actually willing to work for you. I, I like working for you!"

"Really?" He Songgao's heart was surprisingly soft, just like the body he was holding in his hands, "Don't you hate me very much?"

"I hate you, but I really like you." The secretary said softly, "Except for your bad temper, you are not particularly bad to me... Uh, I feel dizzy, can you take me home?" He hugged He Songgao's neck and begged, "You can't let me take a taxi home by myself, right? You asked me to come out for dinner."

I don't know if it was intentional, but the secretary came very close, so close that he could kiss his mouth if he lowered his head. He Songgao's heart itched, sniffing the lips full of alcohol, with a slight gap between the lips, and faintly visible white teeth inside. He took a deep breath, trying to push away the secretary who was a little too soft, but the more he pushed, the closer the secretary came to him, and even blamed him for pushing him to the ground. He Songgao couldn't bear it anymore, and bit those rosy lips lightly as if punishing him: "Don't be too excessive."

The secretary was stunned: "What are you doing?"

That confused, bewildered, and seemingly a little shy expression hit He Songgao's heart hard. He pinched the guy's waist and kissed him deeply.

The secretary was very innocent and seemed not to know how to kiss. He Songgao coaxed him to open his mouth, stuck out his tongue, and poked and stabbed his lips and tongue deeply and shallowly in that wet and hot mouth. The secretary was completely stunned, but he cooperated with him and seemed to think that kissing was a very comfortable thing. He Songgao used a lot of self-control to leave his mouth. The secretary was kissed by him until his eyes were blurred, panting and softly saying, "Why did you kiss me again?"

Again - he used again.

He Songgao suddenly realized that this didn't seem to be the first time.

He was seduced by him again.

He felt that he was a shameful fool and a devil, who was seduced twice by the same person - a person he looked down on.

He couldn't even control himself. He didn't sleep all night, recalling the hot mouth that made his soul lose control.

The next day, the secretary sobered up and had completely forgotten that they had kissed passionately last night. He looked at him with cautious eyes and a little timid. He Songgao thought with a little unspeakable sadness, am I so terrible?

Looking at his secretary again, it seemed that he had turned into a white feather, walking lightly in this boring world. Because of his lightness, he was happy, and it made the heaviness that made people fall down more and more prominent. He Songgao hesitated. This was a rare moment of confusion in his life. He knew that he was light, so light that he yearned for it and wanted to catch it, but he didn't want the lightness to become heavy, a weight that his soul couldn't bear. He

hesitated, not knowing what to do.

However, before he could make up his mind, the secretary who was so stupid had already made the decision for him - he was in love.

He Songgao was forced to take back the step he had taken hesitantly. He stood in the darkness, thinking that it was fine, let him be happy lightly, like a butterfly -

or a puppy.

He Songgao thought that he would not make the same mistake three times in a row on the same personnel matter.

He had such blind confidence in himself.

But - the facts made him despair.

It was a winter night when snowflakes fell as lightly as butterflies. His secretary stood in the snow and asked him if he hated him and looked down on him. His sad and desperate accusations made He Songgao's heart ache. He wanted to say no, maybe he did, but that was already a thing of the past - this stupid secretary sometimes surprised him with his sharpness and always inadvertently revealed the truth. When he carefully asked him if he liked him, He Songgao's lofty self-esteem was challenged and insulted like never before. He wanted to do the same as every time before, denying himself, deceiving himself, and then hurting that poor fool -

he cried.

He Songgao couldn't believe it, but not for his tears, but for his own pain - yes, his tears made him feel painful.

When he realized this, the secretary told him another fact that made him even more distressed - he said that he hated him, really hated him, and even seeing his face was a torture. His heart

felt like it was roasted on the fire, and then plucked off and thrown into the icy lake - He Songgao felt the pain caused by love for the first time.

He had to admit that he had already fallen in love with him, before his heart had time to react.

He knew that this idiot was saying one thing and thinking another, and he was just using disgusting excuses to cover up the pain of being ignored - even if he didn't love him, he just cared about him.

He Songgao held his heart, asking himself whether he should pluck off the feather, which would become an unbearable burden in his life - from now on he would have to use all his strength to support another person's life -

should he do this?

The answer - is beyond doubt.

He was still crying, and his tears looked even more miserable in the cold winter night. He Songgao stepped forward, wiped the tears from his face, and resisted the urge to kiss him.

It's not the time yet, he thought, to catch a rabbit, you must first set a trap and wait for him to step into it -

Let's start now.