Chapter 96
Hill's father, Adrian, was very interested in astronomy. To cater to his interests, His Majesty the Insect Emperor built an entire palace to collect such works, filled with various models and biographies of predecessors.
When he was young, Hill found these things obscure and difficult to understand and was unwilling to read them. Later, he escaped from the cracks of the ancient Fissure and for a time felt pain whenever he saw the cracks.
He had seen many psychiatrists or psychologists. The Zerg always doted on the male Zerg, but avoiding seeing any gaps was too difficult to implement. The doctors had gently advised him to face reality.
His parents, father, brother, and sister all planned to build him a smooth, seamless palace so that he would not have to live in fear.
They loved him very much.
Hill often dreamed of the unborn egg, and Cyrus suggested that he should have another egg. He seriously considered it, but then refused.
One day he had a dream. In the dream, there was no egg, only a female insect. Celt still looked strong. He sat at his desk, wearing a dark blue military uniform, the veins on the back of his exposed hands bulging. His imposing eyes were fixed on Hill, and he called his name softly.
“Hill”.
That was the night he went to apply for the job as a male pet. He didn't want to go; he didn't want to go through that cycle again.
He wanted to leave, but his legs felt like lead, and he stood there watching as Celt said, "Come here."
Hill woke up with a start and saw a rounded room without any sharp edges, with starlight twinkling outside the window, and the room was empty.
He stared silently at the dome, knowing clearly that the female insect was dead.
He died.
He could no longer control his emotions, and he could no longer hurt himself.
I can no longer love him.
The male insect gasped for breath and angrily slammed its fist onto the soft silk blanket.
Why should he continue to treat himself like this in his dreams even after he's dead? His grievances are unfounded and unspeakable; no insect would understand his absurd emotions or offer comfort.
From that moment on, Hill forced himself not to run away. First, he patiently watched the gap after the door was opened, then he moved to a normal room, and finally he began to borrow books about gaps from his father.
But the female insect guards outside his door said that Prince Hilgard's pheromones turned from sweet to bitter that night, and have remained bitter ever since.
Hill's mental threads detected the whispers of the female insect guards, a fact he told himself was always painful.
Until one day, Bright rushed over, his steps stopped at the door, and his eyes met Sirius's. They saw the same surprise, hesitation and unease in each other's eyes.
Finally, Bright spoke first: "Should we tell Hill?"
Sirius hesitated, but before he could speak, the door was opened, and the male insect in the bedroom looked up: "What do you want to tell me?"
After a brief silence, Sirius spoke up: "We've found Celt."
The male insect's pale fingertips gripped the spine of the book. Perhaps from the force, his fingertips were as pale and almost transparent as the paper. He asked as calmly as possible, "A corpse?"
“No,” Sirius shook his head deeply, “Hill, he is still alive.”
The book under the male insect's hand was torn open by the force. Hill was stunned and wondered how he should explain this to his father, who cherished his collection.
At this moment, he was unwilling and did not want to think about the female insect, but his thoughts were out of control, and the peace he had been trying to maintain these past few days was shattered once again.
"He's still alive?"
The male insect spoke in a low voice, the sound so complex that even Sirius couldn't immediately discern his thoughts.
Relief? Irony? Bitterness? Excitement? Or perhaps disappointment? It seems to be all of those feelings; it was such an intense emotion that no insect could say Celt was insignificant to Hilgard.
He's still alive.
Hill closed his eyes. The old book lay flat on his lap, his hand on the spine, the slightly protruding veins throbbing like a trembling heart.
The conch shell's song continued to drift, and Hill finally answered the call after Isidore's communication kept ringing for the thirteenth time.
The female insect opposite him was breathing rapidly: "Your Highness Hilgard, the Marshal is seriously injured and needs your pheromones."
Hill interrupted him: "Does he have to give it to me just because he needs it?"
The handsome male insect's eyes held an almost mocking glint: "You've forgotten, I was the one who pushed him in there myself."
It's against my will that he's alive. Why should I, and by what right, save him?
Isidore's voice stopped abruptly. His Adam's apple bobbed, and the hope in his eyes vanished. He was unwilling but no longer dared to pray. He simply lowered his head in despair and said bitterly, "I'm sorry, Your Highness, I understand."
The communication went dead, and in the instant the light and shadow disappeared, Hill caught Dick's angry voice: "Isidore, do you know why you can't get Sirius's forgiveness?! It's because you give up too easily, you compromise too easily! You simply—"
The remaining sounds were swallowed up; the bedroom was too quiet, except for the tireless singing of the conch shell.
The mermaid's song brings peace and sweet dreams, but it has a time limit. When the energy stored in the crystal core is exhausted, it will no longer be able to make any sound.
Only a tiny bit of energy remained in its core.
Hilgard could summon expensive mermaids to sing for him, for a day, a year, a hundred years, but never again would it be the song of this conch shell.
He had forgotten who told him that the significance of a gift was not its price, but rather who gave it and what their intentions were.
What were Celtic's intentions when he bought this conch shell?
At that time, he was just a disguised commoner male insect. He did not have the crown of Hilgard, nor was he a tool of Celt's scheme. The expensive price of this conch shell was enough to buy a low-level male insect.
He didn't know that the only female insect he knew was on the verge of death.
The door opened silently, and Sirius stepped forward, placing a document on Hill's desk.
He tentatively placed his hand on Hill's shoulder and whispered, "Hill, you could actually choose to destroy him."
Hill slowly opened his eyes, his azure gaze fixed quietly on Sirius.
"No insects know that Celt has returned to the Empire. I have blocked this news. He has gone berserk, and destruction is the normal procedure."
Sirius's voice grew gentler: "If you wish, you can sever all entanglements."
“This is tacitly agreed upon by the female and male fathers, Hill. You are right, female insects are not a necessity. We respect all your choices. Even if you never want to have a female insect again in your life, you must remember that we all love you.”
Even without a female insect, you still have your brother, your male and female parents, and many insects love you. You don't lack a female insect.
Hill looked at the opinion letter. He was a male insect of Celt, and he had the right to give up his life. Such a powerful and controlling female insect, his life or death was now hanging by a thread.
Hill pressed down on the paper with one hand and picked up the pen with the other. He wrote his name stroke by stroke, believing that signing it would bring him lasting peace, and that no more insects would disturb his tranquil life.
This pen is so heavy, every stroke is so difficult. When he was halfway through writing, he suddenly spoke.
Where did he appear?
Sirius didn't quite understand how this question was related to this, but he still answered: "He first appeared in the Luohu star field, where he was swept up by a large number of chaotic star clusters. Most of the chaotic stars have been reduced to dust, but he managed to escape by clinging to a giant star rock."
“The Luohu Star Region,” Hill murmured repeatedly, “is still thirteen asteroid regions away from the Empire’s closest territory. Why did he come back?”
Wouldn't it be better to stay outside the empire's borders?
Why should I return to face judgment, like my older brother, a male insect who roams freely in outer space, building my own fleet, or a wandering female insect?
Why disturb his hard-won peace of mind?
Sirius was speechless.
With a tick, the conch shell exhausted its last bit of energy, and it stopped making a sound, as if it had lost its life.
A single tear, welling in her eyes, silently slid down her cheek, while the trembling pen tip tore through the paper.
He spoke with difficulty, "I...can't sign."
Marshal Celtic's life or death was in his hands.
He has no male or female father; he only has himself.
No insect in the world understands better than Hilgard how difficult his journey to the top was, and no insect feels more sorry for his hardships than the former Hilgard.
He knew that in every battle, every wound, every medal, and every promotion, he rejoiced at every achievement and worried and prayed for every injury. Unbeknownst to Celt, a little male insect named Hilgard had been a part of his five-year insect life. Marshal Celt had been Hilgard's faith and light.
His journey was so difficult, his resume so weighty, each scene made Hill's hands tremble.
He can't do it.
He really can't do it.
The pen fell limply, like a heart filled with hatred being gently pierced by a single stroke, from which painful pus and blood flowed.
Retribution did not bring him happiness; his heart still ached, a pain that made him want to cry.
That morning, Hill entered the nutrient pod and used the space crossing to reach the edge of the territory. A heavy atmosphere enveloped the female soldiers. They were anxious and uneasy, and none of them had the confidence to maintain the situation under Marshal Celt's loss of control.
Celt has lost control of his mental power and goes berserk. He needs to ingest a large amount of pheromones because he still has an insect egg. If he were willing to cut open the egg, he could wander through the stars. Even if he would die, it would prolong his life. But he has returned here.
Hill saw Celt through a window.
He had completely transformed into an insect, his dark and cold exoskeleton unfolding, his bone spikes sharp, and the pheromones of gunpowder smoke so concentrated that the alarm was constantly flashing scarlet. His eyes were closed, his body covered in insect armor, and his mandibles, which could be seen under his jaws, were sharp and could crush a male insect at any moment.
It was a terrifying, non-insect-like feeling, like a mecha-synthesized monster whose mouthparts were still moving, seemingly emitting a faint, chilling sound.
But he was Celtic, and Hill was able to recognize him.
"Open."
The female soldier hesitated to speak but still obeyed the order.
The moment the male insect entered, alloy-cast walls rose up on all sides, blocking all sight from outside. Hill raised his arm and removed the detection device.
The male insect's fresh and familiar pheromones made the female insect suddenly open her eyes. They were a pair of terrifying, scarlet eyes. Her clear reason vanished completely in those eyes, leaving only the lustful desire of a beast.
Alloy chains bind the female insect's limbs, restricting her movement to prevent the irrational female from harming the vulnerable male.
The moment he entered, the female insect let out a roar that didn't sound like an insect's cry, filled with excitement, anxiety, and agitation.
Hill approached step by step, finally reaching Celt's side. At this moment, the female insect's skeletal wings were fully extended, revealing bloody wounds. The blood had long since congealed and scabbed over, but the marks of broken bones were so clear that they would remain with her for life.
The male insect's hands trembled slightly, and his white robe fell to the ground, piling up at his ankles. He had never taken the initiative, especially when the female insect was unable to.
Has he recovered? He doesn't know. He always has difficulty feeling anything. He seems normal, yet he doesn't. He hates the malicious, prying stares of all the female insects and is uninterested in their pheromones.
Hill rarely went out. He couldn't go out when he was young, and later he didn't want to go out alone. His skin was very white, a kind of paleness that never saw the sun, which contrasted sharply with the rough, battle-worn, jet-black armor of the female insects.
He knelt on the cold insect shell, his long silver hair cascading down like a waterfall, but the entire insect began to tremble slightly.
However, he seemed unable to get any useful feedback. The female insect's pheromones completely enveloped him, making him feel suffocated. Every breath he took smelled of the female insect, but he was left bewildered and speechless, unable to find a solution.
The female insect's irrational, scarlet eyes also humiliated him, so he covered her scarlet eyes, forbidding her from looking at him.
Until the chains snapped with a crack, and a hand covered in insect armor, both hot and cold, gripped his waist, Hill trembled involuntarily.
In the Zerg race, nothing can truly hold a Celt back.
The female insect, now transformed into a demon, broke free from its restraints and escaped the male insect's pheromones, which were like drinking poison to quench thirst. She suddenly pinned Hill down and took him in her own way.
Those scarlet eyes reflected Hill's current appearance; her long silver hair was disheveled, and she was being controlled by a pitch-black monster, yet she couldn't help but reveal an excessive expression.
Hill turned to the side in shame, physiological tears streaming down her cheeks and into her temples, her voice trembling: "Do you know, every single day, every time I'm with you, I feel disgusted, disgusted."
From the night he was abandoned on Dicas, he never wanted to see Celt again. He locked up and threw away all the things he had collected about Marshal Celt, which were given to him by his parent insects. He never wanted to see that female insect again.
But so tragically, for a sliver of hope of survival, to avoid disappointing his parents, and to live, he had to see the female insect and, from time to time, get close to her and pull her to his side.
"I don't want to, I don't want to see you again."
Seeing you brings me pain, getting close to you brings me despair. Every time I see you, I think of how I abandoned my dignity to beg to stay by your side, only to be ruthlessly abandoned by you.
It made me seem so pathetic.
I never want to see you again.
He was certain that Celt had regained some of his senses; their pheromones were mingling, and he could almost feel every beat of Celt's pulse.
The insect carapace, both icy and scalding hot, caressed him, covering his eyes. The female insect's voice was terrifyingly hoarse: "Okay."
Even though he had agreed, Hill's tears flowed even more profusely, like a tireless spring continuously gushing out warm tears.
“If you don’t want to, you don’t have to force yourself.” He actually stopped.
Stopping at this moment would be tantamount to torture. Hilton shed even more tears. He wanted to curl up, but he couldn't. His hands, which were on his waist, were tightly gripped by the female insect's armored hands.
"If you're willing, leave everything to me."
"If you don't like it, close your eyes and leave everything to me." Something covered his eyelids, and the next moment Hill's teeth chattered as he made a terrible sound.
"Are you mocking me?" His voice was already choked with sobs as he questioned the female insect that wouldn't give him a chance to shut up, his voice broken.
"No." The female insect leaned down, her mouth full of mandibles close to him, and he was kissed in fear and trepidation, then suddenly picked up. "I was afraid you would be sad."
If seeing me makes you sad, then close your eyes.
He indulged all his thoughts, including hatred towards him.
......
Two weeks later.
With the internal and external crises of the empire resolved, the capital planet ushered in a new round of revelry. The insectoids who profited from this war began to enjoy themselves to the fullest, with parties and banquets never stopping.
Sirius drank amidst a swarm of female insects, the golden liquid reflecting the boisterous party. He sank into the soft sofa, the female insects vying to appear before him.
He was like a lazy lion, his eyes already somewhat glazed over. The female insect beside him was perched on his lap, calling his name as if being tormented by some kind of instrument. He merely smiled, swirling his wine glass with slight interest, but had no intention of offering any substantial help.
“Your Highness Sirius.” A steady voice broke the hazy commotion.
The female soldier was tall and imposing, her military uniform impeccable, and the muscle lines of her arms and body drew the attention of the insects. Because of her height, Sirius, who was sitting, had to look up to see her clearly.
“Marshal Celtic,” Sirius said with a half-smile, “I haven’t had a chance to congratulate you on restoring your reputation and position.”
“You know I didn’t come here for this,” Celt said in a deep voice.
"What is it for?" Sirius swirled his wine glass. "This is the sixth time you've come to see me in the last three days. Aren't you afraid of the rumors spreading? After all, Hill hasn't been on the capital planet lately."
"It is precisely because the lord is not here that I have come to inquire of you."
"You can't even take care of your own male insects, and you still want to ask me? Then I have no comment." Sirius shrugged, a hint of sarcasm in his expression, indicating that he couldn't help.
“Isidore has been sent to the C3 system for a year,” Celt stated calmly.
Sirius finally looked up and stared directly at the female insect.
A moment later, he bent his knees and pried off the female insects that were sticking to him. The female insects tried to stick to him unwillingly, but the male insects had already lifted their legs and walked towards the balcony.
Sometimes he had to admit that Celt was a clever insect, able to easily read minds.
Isidore could leave whenever he wanted back then, and although he hasn't refused Isidore to become his queen due to circumstances and Hill's influence, can he really just come back to his side whenever he wants?
He wanted Isidore to stay back then, but he insisted on leaving. Now that Isidore wants to stay, he refuses. And the only one who can change Isidore's position is Celtic. Before he made his move, Celtic clearly sensed his intentions and went along with them.
“I want to know Hill’s whereabouts,” Celtic said bluntly.
Sirius leaned against the balcony and took a sip of his drink: "Is there any need? Marshal, you have already returned to your rightful place, and as for the insect eggs, Hill will send pheromones to you every month."
Sirius used the word "you" throughout, with a mix of sarcasm and a touch of irony.
"He's not doing well on his own."
Sirius scoffed, "What makes you say that?"
Hill has an extraordinary status and position; what can't he want? His lack of you doesn't cost him anything.
“Because he needs me.” Celt stated calmly. What Hill wanted was not something a female insect could give him; only he himself could give him that.
“Ha,” Sirius chuckled sarcastically, “you are just as arrogant as the rumors say.”
It is always the female insect that cannot live without the male insect; there is never a male insect that cannot live without the female insect.
"That's where you don't understand Hill."
Sirius's expression changed slightly, and he said coldly, "You are utterly shameless."
The night breeze calmed the insects, and the slightly intoxicating wine brought a sense of clarity to Sirius. He finally looked coldly at Celt.
Seven days ago, Hill left the prison where he was imprisoned in Celt. He still carried the strong scent of female insect pheromones and had distinct marks on his neck. The female insect's boldness and transgression displeased Sirius.
According to the female insect manual, female insects should not leave marks on male insects, especially such obvious marks, as this would make the male insects uncomfortable and disrespectful. However, these are not the most important things. What is important is...
Hill said.
"To desire but not to obtain, to fall into an abyss at the happiest moment."
A lone insect awaits its death.
The lack of pheromones is extremely painful.
You saved me, and I saved you.
I have returned everything you gave me.
We owe each other nothing.
It's best if we never see each other again.
Author's Note:
If you don't want to see any sweet moments, then stop reading here. You can consider this an open ending [droopy-eared rabbit head]. They'll make up in the next chapter!
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