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Li Jinnian found a rock to sit on, with his long legs slightly apart, his arms on his knees and fingers crossed, and talked to Xia Jinyuan about the reason why he had never thought about getting married.
In the past, the two of them only had a mutual admiration relationship, and they didn't meet very often, so there was a certain sense of distance between them.
Now, because of Ye Jian's presence, the two of them have become closer, and it is natural for them to talk about their true feelings.
"The first time I saw a sacrifice was not long after I joined the navy. A few days ago, a sailor who died was standing on the island and told me with a smile that in a week his wife and four-year-old daughter would come to see him."
"When I saw him again, his body was swollen from the seawater, and he was clutching a plastic bag filled with heroin. He ran into drug smugglers at sea and was killed."
"The day we found him was... the soldier's wife and her son, full of joy, had taken a train for a day and a night, then a plane for half a day, and finally a four-hour boat ride. She was carrying a bag of local specialties on her left and right, and the young son was holding her bag. The mother and son walked over happily, talking."
"The comrade who picked up the mother and her son told me that she had been reluctant to let her comrades carry the local specialties she brought from home, fearing that they would be lost. She also said that the specialties were all the comrades' favorites."
"When the comrade heard this, he couldn't hold back his tears. He was afraid of being seen, so he quickly turned his head and wiped away his tears. After that, he didn't dare to say anything."
Speaking of this, Li Jinnian's eyes were slightly red.
They are all the toughest and most fearless men, and yet, they also have the softest and most tolerant hearts. Even after so long, the sad past can still evoke the soft and sorrowful part of their hearts when it is brought up again.
"From the northernmost to the southernmost part of our country, this seemingly fragile wife traveled for dozens of hours just to see her husband and bring him joy."
"She came with her child, full of joy. The child wanted to see his father, and the wife wanted to see her husband. Later... what she saw was her husband, whose face was deformed and whose body was so swollen... that he couldn't even wear his navy uniform."
"The sky fell just like that. The real sky fell was the sky in her heart. Despair, gloom, hopelessness... It was the first time I saw it. I had nightmares for three consecutive nights."
This topic is a common topic for the two of them, and even the feelings after waking up from the dream are similar.
Xia Jinyuan tapped his chest and said in a deep voice, "Every time I wake up, my warm heart seems to be sealed by ice and snow. There is not a trace of warmth. I shiver with cold."
"At that time, I thought that I must not get married, so as not to implicate an innocent woman and a family that had nothing to do with me."
"My chest felt so tight that it hurt every time I took a breath. When I woke up the next day, all my comrades in the company had a layer of grief in their eyes that could not be lifted. That feeling... really..."
Another breath got stuck in their throats, and they both fell silent at the same time.
I seemed to hear again the heart-wrenching cries of the relatives of the fallen comrades. The pain of losing a loved one was more painful than having one's skin cut out and one's heart cut out.
"Our line of work is too dangerous. There is no way for my future wife and children to have a peaceful life. So, it's better not to do it."
After a long while, Li Jinnian spoke softly, "If you're not careful, it'll be gone. Why bother to implicate others?"
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